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eat get heated because my brain was calculating all the thousand expenses my family is not rich my brothers and sisters were studying at that time then the unwanted offer stood for 6 years of studies the other 5 years of studies there went the arguments pretty tough i burnt all my physics chemistry biology and other spm books piles of notes piles of my own personal reference books for learning those had me drowned for others biasalah darah muda panas mcm sial before reaching form 4 and 5 they had said about it already that i should not go away for years more that i should be more a seer towards my siblings my friends were paying attention to what i felt my parents did pay attention i did not pay attention to myself as i decided to become a tesl teacher i went through all the beats of it in the institution schools and also the university i found joy happiness and rationales because i threw my fists of contented words like who noam chomsky was or pavlov was however i found dryness because i had them all saying their pride too loud like hey i am much better than you anjing let mine be their use for their lives then thank god i found one funny thing about these people they had no implementation evaluated strategies so i bombarded again it was really fun channeling my anger at the theory classes then it came a great surprised prize i was assigned to list all the implementation evaluated strategies alone nobody helped for i am a sabahan for i am a different weird out of nowhere punya brain wah berani mati la ko that s a good mockery folks in the end of the day they had used mine without me permitting they had stopped smirking when my brain started to speak up again am i proud no i am worried then i had still had my feelings over medicine so i secretly had entourage over scholarships for medicine i had one then it happened art and science are running together in my brain happiness joy and rationales are evolving i did not realise that i could not sleep for hours and hours my body shrunk a lot appetite loss heart attack chest pains and sorts my age is haunting me everyday and i have started to get chilled with algorithms and imperative phrases my parents did not know about this at all my family did not know about it too they don t know through years and years there would be some people who would steal my brain functions not my family i am so sad anybody whom i had close relationships with had stolen those i realised it when they were in the middle of stealing it so brother clement what say you then my mentor said pick medicine or pick education that scholarship could be stopped you are not a hero to me i was smiling without knowing how my smile was as strong to do but as weak to show to others i am not a hero for anybody however people would get angry at me if i just slipped a bit i got one mistake cursing me all the way making myself as their notes of singing so hero what say you now i will pick one i don t want my age haunting me all the way i would be extremely tired exhausted out of energy parsing my brain s energy and my body s energy i know people always say ko suda ada itu ko mau lg ini tamaha jg kau ini all the time but they don t know what i have been feeling and been through so let you all just shut up shut the hell up let me know it well and have a moment of mine which i don t bother yours ejaculated by mark at 5 03 am 0 desired thoughts email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday july 25 2011 death how many words we say it out loud many story books novels films and other transcripts and manuscripts try to empower death death is for many not a long lost friend but an enemy of birth poetry has death as its perilous theme that it sounds undulating the whole cycles down i do not want to swag on the famous writings even the acrobatic film that siphons your exhales of what death is sorting out i am pretty sad that death has never even listened by us humans in fact animals and trees do listen as they know how they struggle for the next cycle i am putting this into a genre not prescribed by religions but a wistful sermon of the day a reflection that others would say though i had the knowledge of death based on the perspectives of religions i do not have the power to question god and other worldly supernatural powers above and under the earth some fictional books that i have read discuss death into words explaining it until the readers are asphyxiated and started to agree with the authors they perhaps some find it agreeable or figure it out as a reflection of what comes in this cycle of life we still have life after death surmounted believe me well i have never been called by death before but i had ever been solidly gestured by death a long time ago when i was a young boy aged less than 6 who wandered the deals of life as a new sun rises goes down moon is up fathomable experience i say it in the past tense as i do not want to report it ever death might come to see me again in its journey and then it would say meet me halfway please i am alive now still breathing i thank death for letting me see myself in the worldly mirror the gestures were as gentle as any gentleness but i did not let it win and death said losing is my victory birth is always winning and for birth winning is its victory birth has always gone for phoenix a transformation that we all might see in the medical miracles in the beds of hospitals a word that has been officially put into the corpus of human language which is rebirth death has never had one except die again which it will be mentally deficit for others to utter it even it is for a comedy show nah we all know when we read books films poetry and others discussing death by their authors in their mysterious ways that death hungers for something that everybody dies for love love for others and for some is simple to do but it will not be encouraged by birth birth has been the most hateful moment by humans because it has the list of perseverance roles and kin responsibilities love has always been encouraged by rebirth rebirth is where we see second chance puts you back into your motivation that we would have the thoughtful actualizations it brings love to us after death spoke its lines while whistling in its journey why do we need rebirth why do we need second chance why must death pat our backs before we realize we had so many grueling moments of playing around like a reversed child like shape love in the sense of rebirth could entwine anyone s definition to this life journey maybe we need the second chance in our working life to be accepted as a progressive worker to guild up the nations however along the way the substance to love is not fully supervised when we are still in our first chance we just murdered ourselves for it we never realize that we do that every day in our single second murder is already death s belongings and that s why it hungers for love from rebirth birth is the inter medium to both death and rebirth that speaks the actions that we all must do love should not have come from rebirth it should have come from birth because it is a sanatorium of actions that speak and do still we are on our first chance speak and do love death has been the most aggravating offence in our waking life it tells the nature of a mortal soul goes into immortality it does not mean we must murder any mortals to welcome love and the rebirth of ourselves it means we respect death as a congratulatory old friend that takes us as we are fated to be wars famine natural disasters and others are not encouraging death to come by and say hello how s your life today but we push death to come by and say hello how are you i had pushed death because i welcomed rebirth death gestured me in its modesty i ignored birth and put it into a solitary i was a young boy that time that did it and i regretted it so much in my later life i have changed i have changed since then and now people would always question my angular face which has bore the skins of 27 and above and my biological age it was not just death that shoved me without grease but other things that birth has asked to i am not selling myself on this but there is a lark that chirps an attune song that i perhaps others too have seen i hope one day i would show my modesty to death vowing to it as a congratulatory old friend who had come and ever visited me long time ago i am still on my first chance i would love to speak and do love in my birth years and greet goodbye to rebirth just and only rebirth as i have already welcomed it mark is my rebirth s name wilibrord is my death s name my birth s name is confidentially said but it is called when that name is powerful enough to prevail mark and wilibrord in his life and this has no means of provocative dishonesty mark 3 a m to 6 00 a m monday 25th july 2011 ejaculated by mark at 6 45 am 0 desired thoughts email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday june 15 2011 haha to britney s till the world ends preparing yourself for 2012 astrological event by saying check to these according to britney s pantomime in the poetry in actions watch this video clip http youtu be qzu9orzlkb8 1 make sure you know how to seek protection go to tunnels longkang drains dumping waste system etc 2 wear skin tights straps of jacketty bras diy cut jeans make sure they are tink tops as to show misery and to indicate the dooms of jeans entrepreneurship high heels no sneakers ioi a1 shoes meant to be swagged all floors even in the toilets other provocative accessories like key chains the cross etc on top of all these just like toppings they are all bling bling 3 apply make ups on colour and de colour your nails pedicure facial expression treatment 4 enlist yourself as eligible for tunnels community like if you are 15 below don t even bother to live just ask the spiders to eat you up if you are 35 above don t even bother to seek the new world 5 style yourself to the substance 6 make sure you are not a gender phobia which gets you cross over other issues 7 keep on dancing for waiting the event to end don t hope a hope 8 or perhaps keep on dancing for a hope it s like the buggers that dance for the rain to pour down 9 make sure techno house remix unplugged etc musics keep blythe ing your mind i mean sedate yourself 10 get out from your protective protected environment down there i am not sure about e coli bacterium or leptospirosis disease maybe they have dispensed the whole area wow fascinating to the new world where the skyscrapers are still pricked and which two suns keep us healthy in vitamin d all day long so working hours are extended to 25 hours with extra ecetera long deployment conclusion all these are checked if you are ready to check the checklist of every inch perimeter of this song well done britney no more lingerie talks like lady gaga in every video clip eh i believe yeah rite ejaculated by mark at 8 59 am 0 desired thoughts email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels 2012 britney spears interpretation of the lyrics and the pantomimed of the lyrics till the world ends tuesday june 7 2011 saga v di keningau sabah 6 11 jun 2011 since it holds the nature of sports participation among young malaysians today sabah has never fallen behind for producing the best sportsmanships this state has this mantra tournament which it means it is grandeur saga i ii were held in kota kinabalu 2003 2005 saga iii was held in 2007 in tawau and the following two years saga iv was held in sandakan http www saga sabah gov my index html this time ladies and gentlemen keningau 2011 hosts saga v that accommodates 12 950 doers from 25 respective districts who are under 21 unless the games request differently and are the native people here checking on the latest score board keningau district runs first which holds 3 gold medals is followed by tawau and kota kinabalu has become the third ranking well done keningau yay http www saga sabah gov my keputusan_keseluruhan_pungutan_pingat html there are more days coming by and i as the son of keningau hope for my district keeps leading i also hope that other districts keep sporting span in this sabah games v i am very sad because i could not watch the hockey games where the hoquetees play on the synthetic carpeted floor do like the page on facebook http www facebook com pages sagasukan sabah 197451323633082 ejaculated by mark at 4 06 am 0 desired thoughts email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday june 6 2011 jpa scholarships for sabahans sarawakians too jpa scholarships for sabahans sarawakians too kota kinabalu chairman of the cabinet s technical committee for sabah and sarawak bumiputeras tan sri bernard dompok said today that he has only received a few appeals from the two states on this year s public service department scholarship awards he said he had spoken to minister in the prime minister s department datuk seri mohamed nazri aziz who is in charge of psd on the appeals and would present the grounds for them dompok said he had not received many appeals although he had a facebook for applicants to contact him directly perhaps they ve got places already he told reporters after opening a national seminar on biogas and palm oil mill effluent treatment here dompok who is plantation industries and commodities minister said the five per cent quota that sabah and sarawak each got was to ensure that each state got at least 75 of the 1 500 scholarships awarded they are also entitled to bid for other parts of the quota 20 per cent and 60 per cent for top achievers and i believe some sabahans and sarawakians have got into that dompok said in fact this year there have been more than 75 scholarships for sabah and more than 75 for sarawak that s why i have not received many complaints he said bernama read more jpa scholarships for sabahans sarawakians too http www nst com my nst articles jpascholarshipsforsabahans_sarawakianstoo article ixzz1ov3nzh4g what a wonderful quota i am so impressed when i was young i listened to the radio boy who had applied for this was rejected at the first time then i got another chance so i killed it as i did not go why arr quota is the answer not based on academics extracurricular achievements tunggang langgang lintang pukang gedebuk gedebak sa dulu just to compete with the outstanding students from peninsula never mind la it s okay i am redeemed live life to the fruitless so that it will be full of fruits in the next season ejaculated by mark at 9 01 pm 0 desired thoughts email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday june 3 2011 tamparuli sabah unduk ngadau 2011 botiza disimond from penampang tamparuli sabah unduk ngadau 2011 botiza disimond from penampang ejaculated by mark at 4 15 am 0 desired thoughts email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday march 8 2011 i m quite huge so what if i m a bit fat and lebar now bei...