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its a wonderful life its a wonderful life notes to self 12 06 2022 stuff young people can do 7 25 11 are you happy are you growing those words have been pentrating my mind all day i love them and i trust them they go hand in hand really happiness and growing naturally when we are growing we are happy and when we are happy we are usually growing hmm i have to answer that the brand of happiness that i have right now is one that i feel like is not counterfit but its bot like bursting with joy sometimes i feel overflowing with happiness but i want o feel like im thriving rather than surviving i learned this long ago that when we are only living for ourselves we may was well be dead p i love the idea of being a musician of writing on hearts with words and strings or stringing hearts together with words i feel that since i am young i have got to do all the stuff that young people can do i sort of wish my name was clementine i really like my name just feelin sorta blue or something no im really happy but just scatterbrained i keep peering over my shoulder for answers i love when i hear my parents laughing downstairs nothing makes my heart happier ive been on the computer way more than usuall and im nervous im gonna get a crooked spine like all those years of having a straight up and down spine are in vain posted by marni at 11 05 pm no comments bday pty 4 1 11 posted by marni at 11 03 pm no comments the unknown 8 17 11 the unknown can be scary why because its unknown first think about all the things that are extremely known to you the bridge of your dog s nose feels your moms voice the smell of a breakfast grains of sand under your toes hopefully these are things that don t scare you it seems like were only afraid of what we don t know things we don t have control over i was reading about fear this week it can be so crippling so i was trying to see all its angles in an attempt to squish it by bringing it into the light and when i shined a light in the face of fear i found the same thing that s found in dark closets of scared children nothing how can nothing feel so big and heavy fear is like the dark it rests on us when we choose to not turn on the lights i loved how this author described it fear is the misuse of the imagination also i was reading about change the author believed there is no pain in change only pain in resistance to change so basically if we live our lives like bamboo flexible life is simple its when we try to be like unbendable oak trees not that easy maybe your afraid of starfish think about a star fish think about holding whatever you fear in your hands this is just my own theory maybe it wont work but try it imagine holding a tiny elevator in your hands you feel in control of it why because you are bigger than it you can move it up and down like a lego and press the tiny buttons with a toothpick really this is what gods life is like if we trust that someone is in control someone who loves us than what is really to fear here are the things i m most afraid of elevators dying before i m ready have reach my potential not being true failing my family and friends heights being alone skydiving fear is totally normal and if ever you start to let yourself drift too far into the ocean of fear call yourself back with familiar images solid things you know for sure like your family your friends the sun the beauties of the earth your best friend your favorite food god and that he loves you no matter what take refuge in the things that you know and there still might be a little fear but a manageable amount posted by marni at 11 02 pm no comments i see you 8 20 11 i love the line i see you in avatar it is so incredibly powerful oprah final show she said this that all people want is this for someone to say to them i see you i hear you and what you say matters to me i saw the movie the help it was so amazing i loved all the characters in it anyway that movie tonight i cant stop thinking about it skeeter she wrote thats all she did the people had these amazing stories and all she did was write about them i want to do that too tell a story about the human experience but where do i start i want to write write about something that bothers you like the editor says mrs stein in the help what bothers me fear posted by marni at 10 58 pm no comments your own bliss 10 11 11 lately ive learned that things will not always be the same i see fine lines creeping up on the coners of my eyes reminding me that time which is so very precious is passing feel good about who you are and where your going become what it is you want to become this summer i tried on a vest that i thought was awesome i asked the lady at the goodwill what her opnion was she raised an eyebrow and told me i looked like i was wearing a shag rug but then added to each his own before getting back to work love that be your own version of happiness posted by marni at 10 57 pm no comments its not over 10 11 11 in the late 1970s a team of psychologists led by philip brickman came to a startling conclusion about humans and happiness in comparing the happiness levels of a group of lottery winners and a group of paraplegics to that of the general population the psychologists discovered that both life altering events made no significant differences on the groups well being after one year the researchers attributed this phenomenon to the adaptive functioning of the human spirit given time people will acclimate to circumstances whether fantastically positive or negative the sound of rain is beautiful too many rainy days can leave you soggy and sad in rainy seattle i loaded up one branch of my life way heavier then the rest and literally felt like tipping over i was working 12 hour days and then my grandma suddenly went to the e r and then i had a miniature wake up call time which is so very precious is passing i dont want to waste another minute being sad sometimes life feels like a long hard battle and other times it feels the electric slide i love this talk on finding joy im always trying to look for these huge pieces of gold everyday in my life when really most of the time joy is derived from precious flecks the other day on my way home from work there was a torrential down poor i saw this teenage boy walking caught in it i wanted to give him a lift but i hesitated pick him up this sn t hawaii but its pouring kids should never get in the car with strangers finally i rolled down the window and yelled out to him if he needed a ride fortunatley he was almost home i missed hawaii where this sort of thing is normal but then i found myself in the neighborhood of my old piano teacher who i haven t seen for 15 years perhaps i could pay her a visit by now she was surly in her 80ies so i pulled into her driveway and knocked on her door envisioning a joyful reunion but that didn t work out either the door never opened so i buckled back in and started driving home for the third and final time and then something so special happened just there huddled under a pine tree that offered the shelter of a kleenex was a sweet old looking couple i could tell they were not from seattle because they were waiting for the rain to stop which would probably not be for a week or two i rolled down the window and they gladly were in my car a few seconds later it didn t take me very long to figure out they were visiting from hawaii they were talking pigeon and being so sweet to me my heart felt so good and so happy that i could chat with them it reminded me of all the reasons i love hawaii and i felt like someone understood me for just a few minutes i don t like the grey drippy skies but sometimes when you cant see the good you close your eyes and listen posted by marni at 10 56 pm no comments babies keep getting borned 9 28 11 today i m twenty three years eight months two weeks and six days young i don t know why our world including me is obsessed with age at work this morning my only friends at my desk were a calculator and postits so i figured this out ive lived 8 655 days seems like a lot but if i live to be 100 which isn t uncommon in my family i will live 36 500 days which means i ve only lived 23 which means i ve still got 77 left to live which means i ve got 27 846 days left so why then do i feel my youth tip toeing quietly out the back stop i yell and scream but people are scooting me down this bench and babies keep being born i know i wasn t born to stay this way forever we were born to experience beauty in every season there are so many good moments to come plead with you to never shrivel and dry up stay juicy stay exuberant life is full of opportunity i read this the other day and loved it everything in your life right now was once only a dream posted by marni at 10 54 pm no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom i love you learn more about what it means to be a missionary about me marni i love to taste things listen to my heart write make friends and be wild i also love painting music making things out of trash and cooking the last 2 separate of course view my complete profile diary archives diary archives december 2022 9 december 2013 1 october 2013 3 september 2013 5 august 2013 4 july 2013 4 june 2013 2 may 2013 3 april 2013 4 march 2013 7 february 2013 3 january 2013 4 december 2012 5 october 2012 5 september 2012 4 august 2012 5 june 2012 5 may 2012 5 april 2012 6 march 2012 2 february 2012 1 january 2012 3 november 2011 1 october 2011 2 september 2011 2 august 2011 5 july 2011 4 june 2011 2 may 2011 2 march 2011 5 february 2011 2 december 2010 1 november 2010 1 august 2010 1 july 2010 1 may 2010 1 april 2010 2 february 2010 2 december 2009 3 november 2009 4 october 2009 3 september 2009 2 may 2009 1 april 2009 3 march 2009 1 february 2009 3 january 2009 1 december 2008 2 november 2008 1 october 2008 3 september 2008 4 august 2008 1 july 2008 2 june 2008 5 may 2008 2 april 2008 5 march 2008 1 followers simple theme powered by blogger friends aly jones anna bandana brain clarkie emmy erin jane heylee lou jade justin kathleen kessies matthew riding meggie and jordan mia momi and seth monique naenae nate williams nik and jess shea zane