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past post she has been going through chemo and at the end of this month is having a double masectomy she is doing surprisingly well considering her age close to 80 and is looking pretty good second my sister is pregnant they found out about a month ago that the baby has some pretty sever heart defects and will require open heart surgery almost immedietly after it s born again the prognosis is pretty good and everyone is hopeful that she the baby will be out of the hospital within a month to 6 weeks both of these items are stressful events but you keep a good face on and keep your hopes up this last week though i got hit with another item and i just sank down into a mire of grumpiness and panic i had a doctor s appointment last thursday that doctor s appointment the one every women should go to every year well it s been about 4 years for me bad raven bad my last doctor got tired of paying ohio s malpractice insurance premiums and left the state i just never got up the energy of replacing him well i finally went to a new doctor and she s great during the appointment she gave me a breast exam and found a lump and some tenderness she gave me an order for a mamogram oh joy now i have panic and the fun of getting my tits squished i managed to get an appointment on monday most of it didn t hurt mainly just the last one centered around where the tenderness was that one hurt like a bitch they told me they would send the results to my doctor in 3 to 5 days i came home yesterday and there was a message from the doctor telling me everything was fine no cancer just a fibrocystic breast meaning i have an internally lumpy and thinkening breast no big deal beyond the fact that i will have to get mamograms on a regular basis now big sigh of relief so that s why i have been rather uncommunicative i ve been a state of panic along with my husband who i think had an even bigger sigh of relief i was just hit with trauma stick one too many times to handle lately i did have fun avoiding thinking about it though i bought a new cell phone went and test drove a smart car and dyed my hair red posted by raven 9 49 am 6 comments tuesday may 13 2008 still here i m still here and reading other people s blogs i ve got some serious crap going on in my own life right now and don t have much energy or mental capacity to blog about anything else at the moment hopefully this stuff should resolve itself this week or early next and i will be back so everyone else go blog i need the distraction posted by raven 1 07 pm 3 comments tuesday april 29 2008 raising daughters i ve always said that raising daughters was more difficult that sons considering that i only have one son i don t have a huge test sample but it seems to me that with boys you teach them how to pee standing up and try to hit the target give them some condoms and make sure they know how to put them on girls on the other hand you have to teach about their periods about birth control and disease prevention pms personal safety and so on the last one personal safety is a big one in my book i ve taken self defense classes and read up on tips about keeping safe i always go out to my car with my keys in my hand pay attention to my surroundings only use drive up atm s i have passsed on a lot of my tips and tricks to my girls this weekend one of them got a reason to use it dorky daughter was walking home from a friend s house she had her head phones on but the volume was low she could still hear traffic and people she had her cell phone in her hand she was walking on one of the city s bike paths between 2 developments someone came up behind her out of the woods they smacked the cell phone out of her hand they then tried to grab her around the waist she did exactly what i and her tai chi teacher have pound into her head she kicked out behind her and made contact and ran as soon as the person let go she immediatly ran back to her friend s house she was amazing and did everything she should have i wasn t home when this happened i was at the craft store when she called me and started to tell me what happened i told her to hang up and call the police the police came and took a report unfortunatly all of this happened to mandy from behind her so she didn t see anything just heard an oofff when she made contact hubby was on his way to albany he was in erie when i got a hold of him he immediatly turned around and came home circle the wagons we re protecting our children while the kids and i were waiting for hubby to get home we decided to take back our lives and go hunting i really didn t think we would find anyone but it made us feel better we drove around the 2 different developments looking for anyone limping we didn t find anyone my sister asked what i would have done had i found the person i was in my mini van what do you think i would have done the kids are back to their normal selves but the new rule in effect is no walking on these pathes alone posted by raven 1 46 pm 6 comments sunday april 20 2008 sooo back to work tomorrow well i go back to work tomorrow i m actually kind of excited i miss working if this is what retirement is going to be like screw it i ll work until i drop i don t think it would have been as bad if hubby could have been home with me but he had to work i did manage to get a few small things done around the house that made me feel a little better not quite as useless we ll see how things go tomorrow i m still not at the top of my game but damn i am doing so much better than i was a week ago i stole this off of lemon s blog you are very sexy damn you are one hot number you have a lot of sex appeal you know you re sexy and you re not afraid to put it all out there and while you re very appealing you re careful not to be trashy or over the top sexy is all about attitude and you totally have the attitude that people love how you are sexy you are friendly and outgoing even to people who don t deserve it your positive body language makes you even sexier your modern look is sexy you don t give people too much of the same old thing you like to change it up you are open to all sorts of experiences and you have a taste for the exotic your adventurous spirit is very sexy you are flirtatious and fun with most people you know how to keep things light friendly and sexy posted by raven 4 53 pm 2 comments thursday april 10 2008 damn it damn it damn it went for my post op doctor s visit today that was fun i was supposed to go back to work on the 15 th next tuesday but the doctor said i m not bouncing back quite as fast and he wants me to stay home until the 21st a week from monday now i know i m not bouncing very fast but did i really need medical confirmation on it according to my husband yes since i won t listen to anyone else what really pisses me off is that when i had a c section and an asshole husband i pretty much came back from that in a week i had to asshole wasn t doing crap to help take care of the baby this surgery was minor compared to that and almost a week later and i still can t sleep through the night or on my right side i still walk slightly hunched over and i m still not eating all that well when i mentioned the c section and how fast i got over that to my doctor he asked how old i was then all right so it was 16 years ago i was much younger damn it i feel like such a wimp obviously an old wimp at that posted by raven 2 55 pm 7 comments tuesday april 08 2008 i m baaaack well the surgery went well i don t care much for any kind of medical visit i only freaked out once during the pre op and got angry once during the post op so hubby thought i was doing pretty well the pre op no one warned me that i would need a shot of heparin in my stomach the thought of it still makes me tear up i completely freaked out and was ready to walk out they could have put that shot just about anywhere else on my body and i would have been fine but my stomach they finally called my doctor who said fine but it in her thigh still not great but i was willing to let that one happen surgery goes off without a hitch i wake up in the nearly empty maternity ward the only reason i think they put me in there is because they knew i was a smoker and would attempt to escape what made me angry though were the damn intercoms when i m sick or injured i need sleep to recover i would just start drifting off and the damn intercom behind my bed would go off with them calling someone to another room after about the 5 th time of being woken up like this i got mad hubby had gone to get the kids from school so i had no one to stop me i got up and put on my sweatpants and did 5 laps around the floor right past the nurses station dragging along my iv and shuffling my feet but i did it i also managed to drag my butt into the bathroom for a couple of hit on a smoke i know bad raven but i was stressing out by this point i had also already eaten a pretty decent sized meal and hadn t puked they couldn t keep me anymore so as soon as hubby showed back up i told him to go tell the nurses to call transport and got the hell out of there i ve been living on percoset and other home medications for the last few days today is the first time i really feel like i can sit somewhere besides the couch so i m up and moving thanks to everyone for the good wishes those always help posted by raven 1 14 pm 4 comments thursday april 03 2008 offline i ll be off line for the next few days i m getting a body part removed tomrrow i ll do anything in the name of weight loss just kidding i m getting my gall bladder removed tomorrow one of the aches and pains i thought was just part of getting older turned out to actually be something that can be fixed damn good thing too cause it s be causing all sorts of issues during the last week or so soooo i go under the knife tomorrow morning then i get 2 weeks off work i ll write again once hubby leaves next tuesday i doubt he ll let me off the couch between now and then c ya posted by raven 9 43 pm 7 comments sunday march 30 2008 overheard at dinner i overheard this while sitting at the local bob evans for dinner no american president should be named obama now there s a reason not to vote for the man forget any of the issues or debates just don t vote for him because of his name posted by raven 8 39 pm 5 comments friday march 28 2008 what the hell i heard this little tid bit on the morning radio the other day isn t this what we want people to do vote for who they think will do the best job threatening people with legal charges if they change their party affiliation is not the way to go about it i will admit several years ago i changed my affiliation so i could vote for a republican turned out he didn t get the nomination so in the next primary i changed back i guess i would be one of the ones worrying about having to go to court when did this country turn into cuba posted by raven 8 58 pm 6 comments tuesday march 18 2008 st patty s day vent i worked at the irish heritage club here in my town during st patty s day for the most part it was fun people having a good time good music and dancing but there are of course a few bad apples that you want to strangle here is my vent dear drunk old man no you may not sleep in the chair at the end of the bar that is a prime spot when you are sleeping you are not buying anything hence wasting the space if you are that tired and drunk go home when you do wake up don t get cranky with me no i cannot sell you the chips on the rack behind the bar as i told you the last 5 times we are working on tickets only this one day i have no cash behind the bar and those chips are not on the menu you want chips you are going to have to get you butt up out of that chair and go buy a ticket and go where they are selling the food oh you re going to report me to the board fine i m doing this as a volunteer i could care less there s the board president complain to him thanks for not leaving a tip no love raven dear board president just because cranky old man has been a member since jesus walked the earth does not mean to you have to give in to him the 67 cents you told me take and just keep and give him the chips did not make up for his abuse pissed off raven parent of a couple dozen or so unruly children we are not a babysitting service paying the dollar for them to get in the door does not mean you go off drinking and let them run wild they tore up the closed hall almost knocked down several elderly members tried breaking into the candy machine for the money that goes to charity spilled drinks on the dance floor and were generally disrespectful and when we tell you that the hall we just cleaned up from your little darlings is closed so no you can t go in there with your little darling and use the bathroom don t get pissy yes we are very satisfied with ourselves too old for this shit raven unruly children are you being raised in a barn i know you don t pull this kind of crap at school or church what makes you think you can do it here yes those are st bernards living at the house next door don t go near them see the sign no you can t pet them the sign is there for a reason yes they are cute no do not go over there awww sorry did the barking scare you maybe if you read the god damn sign oh so a half hour later when i catch you and your friends throwing snowballs at them yeah that will make them more friendly you re lucky i didn t call the cop that is making his rounds for that crap get the hell away from there wanting to give you a good smack raven everyone who is not a regular at the pub leave a god damn tip i ve already worked 8 hours at my normal job i got roped into doing this with the promise of decent tips so i m working another 8 hours just because we are doing a ticket system doesn t mean you shouldn t leave a tip especially when you ve been up to the bar 8 times in the last hour or so leave a buck or two the rest of you don t get upset when i don t know how to make some fancy smancy drink i don t do this for a living as it says on the door we re volunteers back here you want to drink it maybe you should know what the heck is in it sober and not happy about it raven that s my vent my regulars at the bar were what made it fun they were a blast and i had a good time hanging out with them for my 8 hours behind the bar i made 50 in tips any regular bar i would have easily cleared a couple hundred almost all of that came from the regulars the rest were cheap bastards posted by raven 7 48 pm 4 comments sunday march 16 2008 medication hangover thanks to everyone for the well wishes i spent the weekend on the couch medicated this was not entirly by choice hubby growled at me if i attempted anything more than going to the bathroom so i took my medicine like a good girl thankfully hubby left early today which meant i could get up and move around yeah i promised him i would call tomorrow for the follow up ultrasound that the emrgency room wanted i m also working behind the bar tomorrow during the st pa...