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e not allowed to be happy in a work place when u were allocated lesser work to do it s sometimes not advisable to show too much happiness because some people may become envious and get offended and in time to come u ll be arrowed more work to do especially work that others do not wish to do in personal lives we sometimes wish to pursue things that we are happy doing for the rest of our lives but if that s not what the others perceive as alright they ll make a great hoo ha over it until u succumb to their craziness when the human resolution is not strong enough we wayang our way through just so as to gain some peace of mind which the others will claim that u gained the peace because you ve done the right thing by conforming to common belief scene 4 this will be a definite paradox sometimes we are also not allowed to display dissatisfaction displeasure suffering pain or hurt we will not be seen as right because the others sometimes are not too receptive to us showing such feelings because they too are going through some form of dissatisfaction displeasure suffering pain or hurt so how could we be released from dissatisfaction displeasure suffering pain or hurt when they are not so we learn to wayang and appear quite satisfied pleased not displaying any suffering pain or hurt scene 4 it s interesting how in the name of accountability and professionalism which are highly regarded in order to portray good intentions and cooperativeness and to appear to be task focused we begin to do acts that we grumble over but yet end up doing when we realised that we are rewarded for performing such tasks which we don t quite believe in we begin to believe that maybe what we were asked to do were worth doing that s the final and complete transition into wayangism maybe that s the way it will be maybe that s the way it should be in order to appear normal in our society it s normal to wayang and whoever does it well gets on well it s not easy to tell if it s a good or bad thing to do because reality is definitely perceived by the filters that we are brought up to carry in our heads maybe that s the reason we humans perceive ourselves to be superior beings because we are able to perceive a certain kind of reality that we choose to perceive perception vs deception such a bloody fine line posted by master choco in dry ice at 11 26 pm no comments monday august 29 2005 had fun first working day after an eventful week such were some conversations exchanged character a so did you had fun character b so did you have a relaxing time character c oh it doesn t sound that bad character d welcome back to the real world chocoindryice i guess that s human nature personal problems and sufferings will always be worse than others when someone says how bad their situation is it s not unusual to respond by saying i ve seen worse how meek can humans be when we tend to feel that the world revolves around oneself perhaps my photos didn t do justice to the sights and experiences we went through in ban nam kem perhaps i ve hid the sufferings underneath each of the faces perhaps i need to show more yan yao temple this temple in ban nam kem became the centre of media attention during the peak of the tsunami this very ground we stood on laid up to 6000 dead and decomposed bodies waiting to be recognised via dna testings the stench from the dead bodies were so bad that it could even be smelt from 800 m away 60 cm of the ground was removed and replaced after all the bodies were removed as the thais wanted to restore the purity of the temple ground fun i was almost in tears containers at bang man ruan within these containers housed 404 unclaimed and unidentified bodies they are kept at 10 degree celcius the total dead bodies unclaimed from here phuket and krabi amount to 2255 as of 24th aug 2005 it s been 8 months and bodies are left unclaimed fun i was almost in tears blue boat in ban nam kem this blue boat has become somewhat a tourist attraction since 26th dec 2004 this very spot is 1 km away from the coast the depth of water required for bouancy is 3 5 metres this is 1 km away from the coast i don t need to further explain how much water rushed up shore to ban nam kem fun try telling this to the owner who was on the rooftop taking cover when this blue boat came to a halt just centimetres away from his house pai san our beloved driver pai san was our soong tell driver very friendly and fatherly figure we got to know that he lost both his children 10 yr old son and 18 yr old daughter in the tsunami and he was driving us all around this trip learning more about the tsunami it might have opened up his wounds again visiting these places on our way back to phuket on day 4 he stopped by his house he went in and brought some photos out to show us they were photos of his children when they were younger and then he showed us a few printouts on a4 size papers they were the pictures of the decomposed bodies of his two children when he went to claim their bodies i was in tears i had to put on my shades to hide my tears how do i express my emotions and feelings do photos do enough justice to the sufferings maybe to some extent but what you do not see you do not feel i am truly humbled posted by master choco in dry ice at 9 39 pm 1 comment sunday august 28 2005 zero sum game part iii came back from the project hope spirit renewal at khao lak thailand yesterday what a trip realised the magnitude of the destruction saw the faces behind the disaster learnt that the rebuilding of hardware is the easy part rebuilding of heartware is the difficult part i might have found the purpose of my being i might have found the reasons why i was sent on this trip to gain experience in conducting a service learning trip to learn the importance of sustaining a humanitarian project ironically it s yet another zero sum game i realise khao lak would not have received so much help in terms of financial logistics and infra structure had it not have lost everything from the tsunami in some weird way i have lost something close to my heart albeit gaining so much from the trip maybe that s the way the maker of life wants it to be maybe it s just meant to be photo galleries of proj hsr is at http www pbase com jiawang proj_hsr posted by master choco in dry ice at 10 52 pm 1 comment saturday august 20 2005 akan datang welcome to the club master kungfu hamster said to me last week welcome to the poor man s club ch my uni buddy said to me last night well well well and so i did subjecting myself to slavery for the next 7 years well to prepare myself for a swift arrival i civically signed up for a driving refresher course so that my 10 years of wheel lessness doesn t make me a target for abuse by road users such as madcat kekek well lesson one went well today covered lots of lost ground ubi hougang tpe pie changi airport ecp eunos woodlands mandai bke realised i didn t lose much of touch cruising was smooth overtaking was civilised changing lane was sleek u turn was quite ok generally i thought i was quite a un intimidating driver well i was quite tired today so i almost dozed off while driving along stretches of the light traffic expressways but everything was under control no need for alarm well done i thought 10 years of inactivity and i didn t cause any damage on the roads not bad tomorrow will be the challenging final lesson parking but steady poon pee pee i think i can pick it up again real fast no sweat and furthermore my swift is petite any slots lobang hole gaps oso can go in one no fear well well well if things goes well by end september i shall have to cut down on my photography gear acquisitions and sob sob moderate my travelling ambitions too welcome to the club posted by master choco in dry ice at 6 03 pm no comments friday august 19 2005 deja vu a conversation in my medical centre some 12 years ago senior medic choco is new inexperienced and i don t really like him send him to the battery line and be a battery medic hq got enough medics already my helpful senior but choco is very hardworking he is genuinely serious about his duties and is proficient in medical knowledge i think he should stay in hq dr barry my medical officer choco can assist me he s good let him stay in hq senior medic hmmm sneering and thinking then i ll give him a hard time in hq index senior medic a regular soldier medic who is trained in military medicine the only regular soldier in every medical centre usually bossy in nature and not well liked battery a group of artillery gunners in a battalion the equivalent of a platoon in an infantry unit hq medic a medic who is deployed in the headquarters of the battalion he ll work very closely with the medical officer and other hq medics to perform more sophisticated field medical treatment or operations and are usually better in skills and knowledge medical officer the highest ranking nsf in the saf usually does not have a good working relationship with senior medics simply because he is not a regular strangely i wonder if i m beginning to have a feeling of deja vu posted by master choco in dry ice at 11 42 pm no comments tuesday august 16 2005 pooh up my car went for dinner with master bioarmour this evening saw an orange nissan march decorated in the theme of winnie the pooh pooh seat covers pooh toys pooh figurines pooh stickers pooh tissue box covers pooh steering wheel cover pooh pillows pooh pooh pooh pooh pooh pooh we can t help but be impressed with the level of details and care that went into the thematic approach of the owner began to imagine how i should do up my car if things goes well it s gonna be a red car so here s some themes that i could consider i manchester united theme ii red lions theme iii christiano ronaldo theme he drove the car and played soccer with the swift remember iv singapore theme v ang pow theme vi firecracker theme vii national day theme or should i just keep it simple and strap a soft toy hamster at my rear seat lol p or maybe i might just not buy a car afterall posted by master choco in dry ice at 8 21 pm 3 comments too dedicated these are the funny characters in master choco s class first year with most of them not too bad rapport considering i ve never taught most of them before really hope they d excel and apply themselves well for their upcoming challenges my heart is with them all gambatte posted by master choco in dry ice at 8 10 pm no comments monday august 15 2005 i m a painter i ve finally completely understood that a true photographer must be an artist too and a painter at that my 3 outings to shoot the singapore fireworks festival have brought me up to another level in my passion i ve gained enough control over my equipment to the point where i do not need to think too much about the camera settings anymore i ve began to focus on what to capture rather than how to capture a shot it s a powerful realisation as far as my progress in photography is concerned usually photographs are made in a fraction of a second it s so instantaneous and quick that it s very easy to forget how a shot is captured regardless of film or digital photography it s all about recording light onto the film or sensor we don t normally need to expose a shot for more than a second and that s the reason why many casual shooters don t spend much thought over what to capture and how has the fireworks outings made me realise that i m a painter i used to press the shutter release continuously over the span of the fireworks display my rationale was that as long as i don t miss any part of the display i ll definitely get some shots which will turn out right and i usually do have a few shots which are decent this time round i ve stopped shooting this way i realised that i usually have to expose my frame for an average of 6 seconds to capture the full burst of the fireworks this is a very long period of time where a lot of things can go wrong the shot could be overexposed underexposed or just simply look outright messy i realised that i actually have the complete control over what to expose in my frame i now open the shutter manually and block out the light entering the lens using a cardboard i ll only remove the cardboard to capture the explosions that i want to record i realised that it is an art by itself of when to open up my frame to expose the explosions timing is critical asthetic judgement is critical patience is critical calmness is critical the percentage of usable shots for my fireworks has now increased a lot it s about knowing what i want to capture and not about thinking i have to get it captured it s a very powerful realisation it s in fact a freedom that i ve gained a paradox again because i gained this freedom from having good control over my equipment and self posted by master choco in dry ice at 3 07 pm 1 comment saturday august 13 2005 the fight 2 or was there ever a fight hamster and doggie were scheduled for a round of fight hefty registration fees were paid and lucrative prizes were in store for the winner the competent boxers were prepared for a good fight and the date was all set and the boxing ring was booked and the referees were selected and trained and the bell ringer was picked and the drink sellers were on standby and announcer has practised his lines and the media was informed and basically the hype was there for a good fight but close to the day of fight they realised that doggie doesn t fullfil some of the rules of the match he doesn t have the brand of gloves that was a pre requisite to fight also doggie has a habit of fighting naked as is all dogs and was therefore scorned by the organisers who incidentally from time to time praised the way hamster carried himself in his behaviours and turn out in the ring and incidentally too the brand of gloves was solely distributed by members in the organising committee and their sole customer incidentally yet again was hamster hence there s no fight hence the referees bell ringer drink sellers announcer and the media basically have the scheduled day free to themselves again to their relief hence doggie was left in dismay hence doggie felt that he was dealt with another blow under his belt which was ironic btw as he fights naked anyway posted by master choco in dry ice at 8 55 pm 1 comment the fight i think i m gonna get myself into trouble with some book publishers soon but i can t help it i read another rather thought provoking paragraph from the zahir while i was fighting i heard other people speaking in the name of freedom and the more they defended this unique right the more enslaved they seemed to be to their parents wishes to a marriage in which they had promised to stay with the other person for the rest of their lives to the bathroom scales to their diet to half finished projects to lovers to whom they were incapable of saying no or it s over to weekends when they were obliged to have lunch with people they didn t even like slaves to luxury to the appearance of luxury to the appearance o...