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c mothers posted on october 1 2012 leave a comment this is teresa perales just after winning 100 free style gold medal at the paralympic games in london 2012 this is her 22nd medal same number as michael phels i like how she kisses him talks to him and shares with him how happy she is of getting the gold medal another way of looking at motherhood and sport competitions olympic mothers natalia leave a comment posted in sports tagged paraolympic games perales why am i crap at maths well because i am a woman posted on august 29 2012 2 comments some writing about coaching women that i submitted for my certificate in coaching i thought i would like to publish it in our blog just a warning a bit long since baron cohen s book the essential difference 1 was published in 2003 there has been passionate debate on whether neuroscience can explain differences between genders that is whether men and women are different because they have different types of brain in 2010 cordelia fine published her book delusions of gender 2 which attacks baron cohen and others main assumptions and labels them neurosexism the study of brain differences between genders started with several researchers including baron cohen becker 3 and goldstein 4 developing their theories in the field of disease pathology these authors emphasize in their studies that sex differences exist in various chronic diseases such as schizophrenia rheumatoid arthritis and alzheimer s among others however the field moved quickly into another arena that is one of measuring different gender behaviour and innate skills associated with the female and the male brain some of the adamant supporters of these theories include anne moir who proposes treating boys and girls differently in school based on their different skills and learning capacities according to this author boys and girls brains mature at different stages to reveal different skills at different times 5 her theories have already had a certain impact on the british educational system with at least one school blackawton primary school in devon adopting them 6 the question addressed by these researchers is whether male s and female s brains are really so different that they condition their behaviour and innate skills if they are what are these differences and can they be proven scientifically according to baron cohen they can addressing the question of gender brain differences baron cohen says the female brain is predominantly hard wired for empathy the male brain is predominantly hard wired for understanding and building systems 7 reading this statement may lead one to think that baron cohen follows a strict gender biological determinism in which there is no room for social or cultural constructions of gender something that he absolutely denies biological determinists don t dismiss the importance of culture they simply don t deny the role of biology it is a moderate position recognising the interaction of social and biological factors nor in my opinion is biological determinism necessarily sexist it can be sexist if it is used to claim that all women do x and all men do y since sex differences don t apply to all individuals of one sex or if it is used to perpetuate social inequalities such sexist applications of biological determinist theories are abhorrent 8 in his mild approach to biological determinism not all men have a systematizing brain and not all women are endowed with an empathizing one these are just tendencies in fact a brain type that leans towards strong systemising for example is more common in males but there are plenty of men who don t have this profile and quite a lot of females who do 9 not surprisingly this statement can make one wonder about the truth of a scientific theory that tries to explain differences between genders as valid in some cases but not in others this field is full of controversy as different researchers report different results in their studies for example a study conducted among children at school shows that they are very sensitive to gender language and division with children exposed to gender divisions more likely to present gender stereotypes such as that only girls should play with baby dolls 10 other studies show that believing in stereotypes undermines girls performance in maths 11 interestingly enough it seems that not all verbal abilities in toddlers are gender determined a study conducted among 80 families in two small cities in kansas revealed no gender differences in verbal interactions among toddlers 12 and finally a study conducted in the us between more than 450 children of different backgrounds socio economic status gender and race found that young children think that certain attitudes or inclinations such as playing football or playing with dolls are innate to boys or girls 13 these are just a couple of examples to illustrate how understanding of male and female brain differences is still very controversial and far from conclusive as barnett and rivers put it baron cohen s work on empathy is a distressing example of sweeping generalization based on almost no credible data he doesn t bother to ask whether women s empathy is a product of their brain structures or more likely of the fact that society assigns them the job of caring for others 14 supporting the lack of scientific conclusive evidence on brain gender difference theories deena skolnik weisberg affirms remember that neuroscience as a method for studying the mind is still in its infancy we should remember that it has this promise and give it the time it needs to achieve its potential without making too much of it in the meantime 15 accordingly fine tries to alert us to the danger of elevating speculation to the status of fact once in the public domain these supposed facts about male and female brains become part of the culture they reinforce and legitimate the gender stereotypes that interact with our minds helping to create the very gender inequalities that the neuroscientific claims seek to explain 16 taking this warning seriously into account requires analysis of how literature on social science has been exposed to and influenced by popular science taking for granted certain assumptions that are still debatable in the scientific community natalia 1 baron cohen s 2003 the essential difference men women and the extreme male brain allen lane london 2 fine cordelia 2010 delusions of gender the real science behind sex differences icon books london 3 becker jill b berkley karen j geary nori hampson elizabeth herman james p young elizabeth eds 2008 sex differences in the brain from genes to behaviour oxford university press new york 4 goldstein jm 2006 sex hormones and affective arousal circuitry dysfunction in schizophrenia hormones and behaviour vol 50 issue 4 pp 612 22 5 for more information see dr anne moir s webpage at http www brainsexmatters com learn php accessed 2 nd january 2012 6 see should boys be treated differently at school 2011 at http www educationmatters ie 2011 01 28 should boys be treated differently in school accessed 2 nd january 2012 7 baron cohen s op cit p 1 8 baron cohen s 2010 it s not sexist to accept that biology affects behaviour the guardian http www guardian co uk commentisfree 2010 may 03 biology sexist gender stereotypes accessed 2 nd january 2012 9 ibid 10 hilliard lacey j liben lynn s 2010 differing levels of gender salience in preschool classrooms effects on children s gender attitudes and intergroup bias child development vol 81 no 6 pp 178 1798 11 beilock silan l gunderson elizabeth a ramirez gerardo levine susan c 2010 female teachers math anxiety affects girls math achievements proceedings of the national academy of science of the united states of america vol 107 no 5 pp 1860 1863 12 lindsey eric w cremeens penny r caldera yvonne m 2010 gender differences in mother toddler and father toddler verbal initiations and responses during a caregiving and play context sex roles vol 63 no 5 pp 399 411 13 taylor marianne g rhodes marjorie gelman susan a 2009 boys will be boys cows will be cows children s essentialist reasoning about gender categories and animal species child development vol 80 no 2 pp 461 481 14 barnett rosalind c rivers caryl 2005 biology destiny and bad science dissent vol 52 no 3 p 70 15 weisberg d s 2008 caveat lector the presentation of neuroscience information in the popular media science review of mental health practice vol 6 no 1 p 56 quoted in fine cordelia 2010 delusions of gender the real science behind sex differences icon books london p 154 16 fine cordelia op cit p 186 see also barnett rosalind rivers caryl 2011 the truth about girls and boys challenging toxic stereotypes about our children columbia university press new york 2 comments posted in gender uncategorized tagged cordelia fine determinism simon baron cohen still around posted on july 22 2012 2 comments yes still around and trying to find some time to get back to blogging in the meantime these are the things i would like to write about why me different levels of tiredness when baby and toddler refuse to sleep and you need to find the courage to keep on going the whole day an article from anne marie slaughter on why women still can t have it all many women of my generation have found themselves in the prime of their careers saying no to opportunities they once would have jumped at and hoping those chances come around again later many others who have decided to step back for a while taking on consultant positions or part time work that lets them spend more time with their children or aging parents are worrying about how long they can stay out before they lose the competitive edge they worked so hard to acquire given the way our work culture is oriented today i recommend establishing yourself in your career first but still trying to have kids before you are 35 or else freeze your eggs whether you are married or not you may well be a more mature and less frustrated parent in your 30s or 40s you are also more likely to have found a lasting life partner but the truth is neither sequence is optimal and both involve trade offs that men do not have to make you should be able to have a family if you want one however and whenever your life circumstances allow and still have the career you desire if more women could strike this balance more women would reach leadership positions and if more women were in leadership positions they could make it easier for more women to stay in the workforce the rest of this essay details how commenting on two fantastic blogs i ve found mama nervosa and first the egg i like mothering as meditation practice from first the egg and also this from zanna yardas i was a serious meditation practitioner before kids and i wasn t going to let the having of kids get in the way of this precious link to self awareness and sanity but how where when like most mothers it was quite natural for me to just sit with my baby while we gazed into each other s eyes but i yearned for more connection and less mentation then i remembered the famous zen saying before enlightenment chop wood and carry water after enlightenment chop wood and carry water so nursing could be become a time a place and a way to meditate infusing this natural expression of mother infant bonding with the practice of watching the breath would ultimately serve to heighten my awareness and tune me into to my baby rather than to zone off or complete a bunch of mental lists that could wait as you can guess i spend a lot of time thinking on how to find the time to meditate instead of just being present in the moment currently in bilbao enjoying the sun the company of my family and adapting to the fact that people don t respect a queue don t drink coffee while walking and never arrive on time natalia 2 comments posted in feminist mothering meditation uncategorized tagged articles blogs naming things keep it simple when it comes to toddlers posted on june 13 2012 leave a comment e was hungry he had a whole plate of broccoli and still wanted to eat more so i asked him kindly what do you want yogurt or fruit i suppose to do this because emotional responsible parents that care about their toddlers needs always allow them to choose if it s possible and my emotional responsible son says i want fruit here we go i m allowing him to choose how smart and loving parent i am me ok maitia basque word for dear do you want banana or apple e no i want fruit me maitia banana and apple are fruits which one do you want e i want fruit now he sounds angry and puzzled me but banana and apple are fruits like strawberries or oranges e nooooooo i want fruit fruit fruit screaming the house down in a tantrum 9 on richter scale me sh t natalia leave a comment posted in toddlers tagged naming simple lactancia prolongada y guerra de mamas posted on may 17 2012 leave a comment hace ya unos días que the time sacó en su portada la foto de una madre amamantando a un niño de 3 años la cuestión en principio no debería ser algo que causara tanto revuelo pero no ha sido así podemos decir que todavía hay mucha gente que se escandaliza ante la lactancia prolongada que la considera una locura e insana para el niño pero la verdad es que la portada de esta revista nos hace un flaco favor a las que sí hemos amamantado hasta pasados el año cuando la vi me sentí ofendida y no sólo porque la chica es guapísima delgadísima y no tiene ojeras y yo estoy hecha un asco sino porque la foto y el título estaban diseñados para polemizar entre mamas amamantar es una decisión privada y personal y no se es más o menos madre en función de los años o meses en los que has dado pecho a veces quieres y no puedes y otras puedes pero no quieres y aunque estoy en favor de la lactancia y de que no se nos vendan historias que no son tipo la leche materna es más ligera y menos nutritiva y a partir del tercer mes hay que dar biberón complementario lo cierto es que no me gusta que a las mujeres se nos quiera enfrentar en estas cuestiones quién soy yo para decidir y ponerme en la piel de la madre que no quiere amamantar qué razones qué sentimientos qué vida es la que tengo juzgar la de la madre o la de la madre de la madre que nunca amamantó o la del pediatra que le dice que no tiene suficiente leche o la de las revistas que nos empujan a recuperar nuestro peso y figura a los tres meses de dar a luz además la imagen esta sexualizada a límites insospechados el niño subido en una silla como si quisiera ser mayor mirando a la cámara y ella en actitud ligeramente sexy en fin yo en mi vida he dado teta a mi hijo así siempre le he tomado en brazos o a lo mejor tumbada en la cama pero la imagen no refleja lo que es amamantar a un niño pasado el año así que de nuevo la representación del cuerpo de las mujeres es utilizado para provocar debate y enfrentamientos no para un mayor conocimiento del tema al sexualizar la imagen se permite que la gente opine desde el lugar de lo indecente que es dar de mamar a un n...