Meta tags:
description=Things I wrote in my twenties and can t bear to archive;

Headings (most frequently used words):

the, and, my, was, in, to, you, it, of, fetal, meaghan, on, when, like, year, cried, cheesecake, an, me, did, by, probably, definitely, mcgoldrick, things, wrote, twenties, can, bear, archive, fifth, mother, day, without, 64, learning, love, ve, lost, how, only, kind, riding, bike, one, new, resolution, times, moms, versus, justin, bieber, thanks, spanx, ode, november, friends, family, ii, 21st, century, popular, culture, iii, amy, poehler, iv, roommates, lungs, legs, vi, parents, vii, wordpress, are, there, childhood, out, frying, pan, into, fire, life, lessons, listicle, sarah, movie, about, dying, girl, mom, first, learn, paralyzed, vacuum, alarmed, any, other, inanimate, objects, shriek, fear, or, lay, floor, accident, she, laugh, wary, george, foreman, grill, if, then, am, now, recent, posts, categories,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (203), and (181), that (97), for (73), you (56), was (52), with (44), because (36), like (33), but (32), one (31), this (29), out (29), not (28), all (26), just (26), her (26), there (24), time (24), year (22), mother (22), life (21), from (21), she (20), #friend (19), can (18), also (18), thankful (18), when (17), who (17), other (16), are (16), new (15), only (15), still (15), about (15), never (15), mom (15), been (15), your (15), say (14), how (13), years (13), here (13), would (13), old (12), what (12), even (12), first (12), will (12), some (12), birthday (12), love (11), day (11), last (11), did (11), more (11), than (11), good (11), though (11), comment (10), had (10), two (10), since (10), high (10), both (10), posted (10), bar (9), have (9), after (9), said (9), our (9), home (9), things (9), always (9), once (8), their (8), people (8), parents (8), they (8), father (8), his (8), little (8), every (8), get (8), school (8), leave (8), friends (8), those (8), any (8), family (8), death (8), meaghan (7), were (7), fifth (7), while (7), which (7), long (7), before (7), until (7), very (7), ever (7), movie (7), girl (7), neither (7), hard (7), think (7), words (7), see (7), 2015 (7), has (7), come (7), open (7), world (7), less (7), living (7), over (7), well (7), now (6), times (6), lost (6), without (6), down (6), wine (6), died (6), end (6), yes (6), nor (6), later (6), want (6), apparently (6), something (6), going (6), definitely (6), then (6), another (6), again (6), couldn (6), few (6), roommates (6), actually (6), really (6), baby (6), tiffany (6), mcgoldrick (5), account (5), learning (5), kind (5), bike (5), own (5), fucking (5), live (5), way (5), through (5), part (5), thought (5), around (5), where (5), train (5), same (5), don (5), self (5), shit (5), whether (5), often (5), november (5), moment (5), sure (5), instead (5), line (5), probably (5), piece (5), real (5), others (5), mine (5), left (5), person (5), gin (5), drunk (5), name (4), wordpress (4), com (4), found (4), cried (4), riding (4), these (4), dinner (4), losing (4), loved (4), keep (4), them (4), worker (4), cancer (4), ones (4), too (4), walking (4), back (4), mid (4), childhood (4), most (4), might (4), somewhat (4), music (4), into (4), called (4), should (4), five (4), care (4), make (4), college (4), being (4), morning (4), someone (4), off (4), give (4), beautiful (4), phone (4), idea (4), amy (4), poehler (4), best (4), much (4), moments (4), december (4), know (4), least (4), bad (4), maybe (4), comments (3), feels (3), learned (3), dead (3), why (3), dancing (3), game (3), photo (3), eight (3), him (3), turns (3), tiny (3), earl (3), history (3), greg (3), read (3), three (3), die (3), gray (3), informed (3), texts (3), sit (3), alone (3), offered (3), full (3), chicken (3), made (3), red (3), known (3), bank (3), savings (3), does (3), feel (3), annual (3), minutes (3), seriously (3), mail (3), doesn (3), tupperware (3), likely (3), present (3), human (3), its (3), stay (3), finding (3), fire (3), fetal (3), knew (3), haven (3), sized (3), told (3), hell (3), hands (3), took (3), went (3), four (3), set (3), presumably (3), bars (3), eyes (3), television (3), months (3), occasionally (3), thoughts (3), however (3), celebrating (3), street (3), mind (3), touch (3), anything (3), pizza (3), cold (3), didn (3), far (3), finally (3), cheesecake (3), looked (3), small (3), against (3), feeling (3), sorry (3), bieber (3), felt (3), got (3), wrote (3), missed (3), find (3), getting (3), list (3), makes (3), isn (3), talked (3), means (3), fuck (3), thing (3), scared (3), tricky (3), myself (3), enough (3), lot (3), wants (3), sadie (3), shower (3), dice (3), website (2), required (2), manage (2), log (2), sign (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), free (2), blog (2), instagram (2), lists (2), resolution (2), posts (2), ears (2), yet (2), stop (2), unfolding (2), gone (2), everyday (2), lived (2), loretta (2), dance (2), stars (2), deeply (2), broken (2), many (2), keeping (2), paperwork (2), matter (2), almost (2), ask (2), kielbasa (2), sunday (2), til (2), teensy (2), bit (2), plus (2), film (2), freight (2), somebody (2), itself (2), pay (2), towards (2), tells (2), tears (2), fall (2), seeing (2), please (2), loathing (2), senior (2), terms (2), everyone (2), forced (2), jewish (2), next (2), kick (2), bucket (2), grew (2), twice (2), stand (2), fond (2), sarah (2), under (2), showing (2), conquest (2), within (2), allowed (2), challenge (2), hypothetical (2), feelings (2), decision (2), dying (2), could (2), faintly (2), violently (2), dress (2), gets (2), fine (2), cheap (2), use (2), reason (2), equal (2), snack (2), percentage (2), rate (2), credit (2), dna (2), everything (2), tell (2), dentist (2), need (2), eat (2), paying (2), university (2), none (2), cut (2), kicked (2), nice (2), rug (2), pulled (2), underneath (2), tabs (2), below (2), poverty (2), featured (2), post (2), writers (2), reminder (2), lay (2), floor (2), vacuum (2), take (2), sentences (2), benefit (2), stories (2), fact (2), better (2), simply (2), household (2), object (2), terribly (2), afraid (2), plans (2), immigrant (2), parenthood (2), parts (2), ago (2), third (2), elementary (2), brand (2), pencil (2), ground (2), face (2), remember (2), trip (2), six (2), fixed (2), lukewarm (2), coors (2), light (2), happy (2), beer (2), perhaps (2), ability (2), may (2), buzzed (2), reached (2), pen (2), body (2), helped (2), coming (2), okay (2), each (2), tree (2), store (2), across (2), snow (2), entirely (2), able (2), seven (2), season (2), pretty (2), laundry (2), burning (2), deep (2), unless (2), between (2), picture (2), dirty (2), basement (2), eve (2), hangover (2), confused (2), second (2), else (2), weeks (2), truck (2), thanks (2), sweet (2), odd (2), raised (2), rolling (2), somewhere (2), terrible (2), mothers (2), justin (2), moms (2), boy (2), partner (2), minute (2), via (2), inside (2), half (2), brother (2), dad (2), arms (2), meeting (2), especially (2), shot (2), watching (2), child (2), member (2), past (2), choose (2), emotional (2), help (2), picked (2), moral (2), story (2), tomorrow (2), hair (2), support (2), nearly (2), forever (2), somehow (2), dropped (2), number (2), unexpected (2), above (2), outside (2), favorite (2), boyfriend (2), dig (2), ten (2), short (2), quite (2), damn (2), nothing (2), grief (2), pit (2), tuesday (2), heard (2), cute (2), together (2), significant (2), whom (2), drank (2), cry (2), met (2), white (2), period (2), meet (2), takes (2), 2018 (2), mountain (2), twenties (2), bear (2), archive (2), email, write, loading, collapse, subscriptions, view, site, reader, report, content, privacy, already, join, 871, subscribers, create, images, throwback, thursday, categories, recent, search, follow, questions, lives, licensed, fly, plane, boxes, photos, slideshow, requires, javascript, moreover, grandmother, grandfather, arrived, globetrotters, fullest, respective, breaths, seniors, class, grown, understand, placed, closest, friendships, pedestal, touched, dropping, ninth, inning, winning, ball, league, championship, grinned, badly, bone, sneaking, play, football, enjoyed, filling, albums, vignettes, girlfriends, drinking, jug, swore, distinct, pleasure, committed, memory, affinity, redheads, unique, inability, 1993, postmark, uncovered, cooked, unbeknownst, 2010, polish, swan, dive, figmental, dies, attention, tattoo, clad, teacher, madness, ensues, accidentally, cetera, dramedy, directed, alfonso, gomez, rejon, based, 2012, novel, jesse, andrews, let, takeaway, trails, gaines, awkward, low, key, hippie, coasting, behind, befriend, rachel, kushner, door, terminal, disease, remind, kept, cool, blocks, south, swear, reiterating, concession, clerk, wanted, butter, colossal, popcorn, sat, relaxed, character, hoped, wouldn, soon, umbrella, route, bam, afternoon, saturday, confines, group, chat, reserved, double, chin, selfies, screenshots, bitchy, strongly, encouraged, oddly, therapeutic, retracted, statement, completely, masochistic, company, schedules, sometime, summer, conscious, sober, hungover, schlep, atlantic, avenue, pouring, rain, slouch, itchy, seats, brooklyn, academy, modish, theater, sob, sleeve, indie, flick, teenage, leukemia, issuemagazine, carpe, dormio, seize, nap, cutlery, ain, checking, politely, threaten, strip, title, air, afford, cards, apr, stands, snoozing, yesterday, catch, eventually, fired, seamless, orders, haunt, pre, procedure, look, irs, spelled, check, microwaving, section, previous, tenant, cable, bill, mold, adulting, 101, sparknotes, edition, courses, cornell, maple, syrup, alfred, art, centre, sustainable, crap, must, naturally, itunes, habit, desperately, begged, curb, thrilled, fought, pension, step, video, goofy, soundtrack, nixed, cappuccinos, hopes, afloat, center, checkbook, blowing, mere, ish, expensive, pursian, paved, lavish, week, festivals, heroically, regrettably, recently, frying, pan, lessons, listicle, huffington, healthy, wary, george, foreman, grill, accident, laugh, usually, improvise, grievers, inherited, debt, dreadful, funeral, existed, writer, details, lack, thereof, break, grieving, missing, pieces, loss, shriek, fear, alarmed, inanimate, objects, learn, paralyzed, example, areas, proclaimed, parties, published, properly, checked, filled, unintentionally, stretched, versions, truth, grateful, deadhead, dream, gaps, anecdotes, stuck, pint, couch, water, try, stick, vcr, started, detail, thoughtful, embarrassing, molding, coinciding, admit, jealous, russia, sarcasm, interested, note, either, excommunicated, dark, chamber, brain, math, stored, hardest, memories, hear, thirteen, hormonal, monster, myspace, baggies, buttons, confiscated, looney, tunes, case, discovering, reported, informants, smoked, marlboros, marijuana, scarring, plummeted, bermudian, monkey, straight, believe, wasn, fan, doe, winded, sip, meal, sprite, straw, figured, posting, platform, share, riddled, comma, splices, readers, vii, humans, subtle, reminders, band, named, followed, twitter, purse, golf, tee, having, bottle, smirnoff, shatter, kneecap, worth, aggressive, medical, loves, health, lungs, legs, foot, bed, crying, offer, call, ambulance, boys, panic, attacks, splurge, cent, fake, asbestos, tiring, taxing, thankless, birth, selling, memoir, filing, divorce, hosting, golden, globes, closing, book, sitcom, throwing, clean, freshly, swept, bedroom, toast, writing, nightmare, soft, sensual, including, limited, chris, pratt, broad, city, iii, drives, fried, oreos, latergram, tights, built, spandex, strapless, bras, autocorrect, auto, enhance, oversized, sweatshirts, timers, lipstick, chemical, romance, rip, boats, wristbands, remembered, close, pour, stood, corner, falafel, snapchat, sensitive, dick, delaware, internet, ideas, viral, drugstores, carry, disposable, cameras, girls, dresses, photograph, mexican, corn, beards, booze, jenga, version, edits, therefore, emojis, fit, 21st, century, popular, culture, equally, aunt, barbara, used, respect, spent, thanksgiving, bawling, bitch, orphan, annie, nurse, subsequent, strong, powerful, clan, cult, understandable, mix, petty, inspire, opportunity, ticket, futon, odds, stacked, sleeping, days, mulled, giant, haul, lugging, est, 1991, celine, dion, karaoke, ripping, waistline, vaguely, inappropriate, grace, cooking, potatoes, boat, irish, unfolded, metal, chairs, pong, tables, tray, plastic, cups, apple, cider, sangria, cans, warm, rock, cheers, ing, inaugural, friendsgiving, feast, spanx, ode, buzzfeed, detest, resented, robin, thicke, surveyed, texter, arrest, confirmed, comeback, settled, opinions, billboard, hated, versus, mcdonalds, closed, taxes, playing, stranger, funny, promotion, looking, buffalo, macaroni, cheese, dear, gifted, groupon, tissue, massage, choice, hitchhike, cooperstown, entirety, parks, recreation, dragon, wild, episodes, wedding, christmas, saint, patrick, holding, giving, front, tooth, resemble, liberty, bell, singing, showtunes, scribbled, numbers, napkin, 000, unnecessary, complementary, jameson, concert, tums, mama, jeans, sex, anne, frank, unwrap, pair, raybans, fireball, eye, sworn, yonkers, department, tongue, tater, tot, doubt, seen, bawl, public, restroom, reduced, trainwreck, certainly, cause, drink, change, crier, written, hold, applause, hat, wear, flip, flops, grocery, winter, slim, shady, trade, slew, unkept, resolutions, stairmaster, become, scarf, rack, lone, vow, guaranteed, trust, whaddup, impulse, london, chase, 500, previously, inches, bold, move, typically, advise, sadness, fully, crippling, heartache, frankly, yolo, maxed, card, wakes, cemeteries, harsh, reality, pity, invites, thumbs, numb, finances, sympathy, signs, presence, grab, balls, changed, text, sent, actual, wisdom, anger, handle, circle, thrown, wind, devastated, younger, celebrate, tenth, weekend, frantically, spastically, typed, backspaced, crafted, drawn, novels, consisted, student, loans, trying, lose, keys, vague, introductions, adulthood, ripe, age, grip, expected, doing, pneumonia, tag, teamed, jaw, tolerance, uprooted, hinged, bleach, mike, lemonade, shook, souvenir, globe, lowered, magic, precedent, deliver, salutatorian, speech, graduation, grandparent, carcaterra, nee, johnston, 80th, passing, rattled, core, revolved, gel, pens, disney, channel, original, star, ryan, merriman, experience, grade, talking, sometimes, venture, box, failed, okcupid, courtship, circles, word, dabble, children, plural, labrador, retriever, carefully, mapped, fitness, journeys, newyearnewme, bloggers, chronicle, newest, show, worst, dates, spot, comfort, zone, wonder, shtick, berated, house, party, shirt, kidding, publicly, reading, safely, anvils, skydiving, thrill, alive, splat, wound, parachutes, backpack, comical, items, anvil, pots, pans, rubber, etc, advised, million, agree, drugged, paid, astronomical, amount, money, baptized, liquor, alright, cousin, gave, seal, approval, alas, seventeen, thoroughly, question, sweethearts, beau, himself, guy, higher, expectations, fiery, earth, breakup, welcomed, chilled, shots, patron, swift, esque, gang, morbid, hand, teaches, wonderful, reflection, heaven, knows, asshole, opposite, pun, unintended, provoked, fights, pick, remains, gnawing, gold, constant, trepidation, given, ripped, deal, meant, warning, letting, gravity, point, blank, peach, stomach, date, shake, put, proper, food, kidney, stone, worry, tequila, stuffed, brim, burrito, sobbing, smile, works, sleep, vice, versa, whose, pudding, jello, foreign, language, movies, came, field, convinced, cannot, bring, head, heels, nervous, chain, snap, semi, margarita, beard, dating, right, instinct, comes, expect, desire, shelling, effortlessly, relationship, worked, grasped, balance, subdued, crazy, startle, suiters, enjoy, thrills, adore, gotten, hope, relationships, shiny, barely, unpacked, baggage, wired, depending, definition, course, threshold, personal, space, spiders, vest, roller, coasters, falling, cars, turn, january, 2017, shares, local, breaks, heart, treasure, sixty, early, albeit, celebrations, absolutely, dangerously, cuddly, aprils, saw, former, imessage, framed, print, pennsylvania, gift, shop, match, room, hug, bow, suck, stupid, toyed, pacing, snuggling, ignoring, problem, exhaustively, repeating, process, risk, telling, themselves, boobs, hurt, tired, miss, away, particularly, unlucky, struggled, leaving, apartment, except, sides, says, happily, gambling, girlfriend, unknowingly, shared, hazy, sang, alternative, smokes, american, spirits, wears, bright, lip, stain, editor, pcp, cat, barista, important, april, mount, wycheproof, smallest, registered, standing, 486, feet, australia, conquerable, speed, bump, everest, roll, thankfully, worried, urgency, insist, manning, coffee, run, dressed, comparable, mile, legos, barefoot, sort, won, decide, hot, shoulders, icy, sting, dozen, social, media, mothering, influx, mails, promoting, flowers, discounted, patio, furniture, calmness, deciding, garbage, meld, beyond, realm, month, perpetually, nauseous, hours, expel, toxins, making, insides, anniversary, karate, gut, vomit, career, marriage, crapshoot, resumé, menu,

Text of the page (random words):
n a public restroom here s a list of just some of the things that reduced me to tears this past year burning my tongue on a tater tot last new year s eve watching a friend get sworn in as a member of the yonkers fire department getting fireball in my eye not once but twice celebrating our friend s baby s first birthday watching said baby unwrap a pair of child sized raybans that time a drunk friend of mine called my jewish co worker anne frank finding out the sex of my beautiful friend s baby seeing said mama to be open these teensy tiny baby jeans every time i was drunk and couldn t find my phone every time i was drunk and couldn t find my friend every time i was drunk and couldn t find the tums every 45 minutes at the annual benefit concert for my parents see especially when my best friend informed me via scribbled numbers on a bar napkin that we d raised more than 10 000 and after that terribly unnecessary complementary jameson shot because it was my best friend s birthday because everyone was singing showtunes on the train because there was no more gin because the dentist made my front tooth faintly resemble the liberty bell because he felt bad and fixed it for free because i missed my mom because i missed my dad because i missed the train finally meeting this beautiful baby girl holding her mother in my arms for the first time post giving life to a little human mom s birthday dad s birthday christmas and saint patrick s day my half brother s wedding at least three episodes of dancing with the stars the end of wild the end of how to train your dragon the end of parks and recreation the entirety of inside out finding out a friend s mom died at just 44 years old that time we had no choice but to hitchhike in cooperstown that time my co worker life partner dear friend gifted me a groupon for a 60 minute deep tissue massage via g mail while i wrote this piece buffalo chicken macaroni and cheese looking at this picture because i got a promotion because a stranger looked at me funny because brand new was playing because a boy didn t like me because it was cold because taxes because mcdonalds was closed wine moms versus justin bieber posted on december 7 2015 leave a comment my mother hated few people justin bieber was one of them since i ll never really know how my mother a once terrible texter who died just months before bieber s first arrest would ve felt about his billboard confirmed comeback i ve settled for the opinions of some other mothers one father was also surveyed but he was just confused she also seriously resented robin thicke though she likely just thought he was his father she d probably still detest him but really get down to sorry also featured on buzzfeed thanks spanx and cheesecake an ode to november posted on december 1 2015 leave a comment last november 20 some odd friends and i unfolded metal chairs around two beer pong tables a snack tray and a music stand we raised plastic cups of apple cider sangria and cans of warm rolling rock while cheers ing our inaugural friendsgiving feast somewhere between a under cooking the sweet potatoes with my best friend and her off the boat irish mother b ripping my dress at the waistline before a vaguely inappropriate grace and c celine dion karaoke i was once again mulled down by the giant hypothetical u haul truck that s been lugging around all the feelings i ve been feeling est 1991 and all the thanks i have left to give i friends family and cheesecake i m thankful for friends that still love and somewhat respect me even after i spent thanksgiving eve 14 bawling my eyes out at the bar because that bitch looked at me like i was fucking orphan annie and for family that helped nurse the subsequent hangover i m thankful for our strong and powerful clan not to be confused with cult though that is at times an understandable mix up however small and occasionally petty for friends that inspire me challenge me dance with me and actually like me i m thankful for the opportunity to be ticket 46 at a 45 person dinner at the home of my second family the one that offered up their basement futon for a few days weeks months because the odds were stacked against me and there was no one else sleeping on it at the time who are you here with oh i used to live in the basement i m equally thankful for said family s aunt barbara and her cheesecake but that s neither here nor there ii the 21st century popular culture i m thankful for tights with built in spandex strapless bras and pizza for autocorrect for auto enhance and for oversized sweatshirts for self timers red lipstick cheap wine and old my chemical romance rip i m thankful for bars that are also on boats open bar wristbands and all the open bar tabs that i remembered to close this year pour some out for the ones that i left cold alone and very much open while i stood in line for street corner falafel i m thankful that snapchat is time sensitive unless you re a dick and that i didn t die those two times i went to delaware i m thankful for the internet and the ability for someone s words thoughts and ideas to go viral i m thankful for drugstores that still carry disposable cameras and for those few and far between moments we get all the girls in one picture i m thankful for dresses that photograph well and for mexican street corn for beards and booze and bars with dirty jenga i m thankful that instagram version 6 4 0 finally allowed for edits and therefore for all of my emojis to fit on the same line latergram also for back up hard drives and deep fried oreos iii amy poehler i m thankful for anything amy poehler gets her presumably soft and sensual hands on including but not limited to chris pratt yes please and broad city writing is a nightmare amy poehler see also tiring and taxing and often entirely thankless but if amy poehler was able to birth a best selling memoir while also filing for divorce co hosting the golden globes and closing the book on a seven season sitcom i m pretty sure i can pencil it in with throwing clean laundry on my freshly swept bedroom floor and burning every piece of toast i touch iv roommates i m thankful for roommates who are also my friends i e roommates i want to come home to i m thankful for roommates who sit at the foot of my bed when i m crying and offer to call an ambulance because they re boys and are new to the idea of panic attacks roommates who splurge on a 15 tree from the 99 cent store across the street even though the fake snow might just be asbestos and roommates that don t mind that said tree s been up all year v my lungs and legs coming from a family with an aggressive medical history cancer loves us what can i say my okay health is something i m thankful for each year plus having not broken a body part since that bottle of smirnoff helped shatter my kneecap in high school is something worth celebrating vi my parents not only am i thankful for the time i had with these two beautiful humans but i m also thankful for the subtle reminders they re still here like the time my phone buzzed to tell me that a band named mom had followed me on twitter or the time i reached into my purse for a pen and pulled out a golf tee vii wordpress perhaps most of all i am thankful for this platform for the ability to occasionally over share my thoughts however self loathing and riddled with comma splices they may be with readers who give somewhat of a shit even when i go six months without posting are you there childhood it s me meaghan posted on november 23 2015 leave a comment there are very few things i remember from my childhood one being the time my six year old self with both doe eyes fixed on the television took a long winded sip from my mother s lukewarm coors light instead of my own happy meal sprite why she had a straw in her beer is something neither of us ever figured out apparently i wasn t a fan another the scarring moment four year old me plummeted to the ground off a set of presumably high end bermudian monkey bars later in life my mother would say with a straight face i can t believe that s all you remember from that fucking trip apparently it was a nice one a third in elementary school when my mother confiscated my brand new looney tunes pencil case after discovering that i d reported her to d a r e informants because she smoked marlboros not marijuana apparently those little baggies were for buttons one of the hardest parts about losing both parents has been losing the memories that went with them the stories i would ask to hear over and over again at thirteen but couldn t care less about come high school because i was a hormonal monster with a myspace to manage the little things that only they took note of and either a never told me or b told me so long ago that it s been excommunicated to the dark chamber of my brain where math b is stored the ones i m interested in now more than ever a good friend of mine just started a blog called from russia with sarcasm in it she plans to detail every thoughtful embarrassing life molding moment from her immigrant childhood and her parents coinciding immigrant parenthood a conquest i admit i am equal parts fond and jealous of sure there are the anecdotes that stuck like how to keep this pint sized human off the couch my mother would simply lay down the vacuum a household object i m told i was terribly afraid of or how come hell or high water i would try and stick my tiny hands in the vcr a household object i apparently was not though there will always be gaps there will always be gray areas because there will always be stories whether proclaimed at dinner parties or published for the world to see that haven t been properly fact checked some filled with unintentionally stretched versions of the truth was mom a grateful deadhead or did i dream that and others with sentences that could always be better sentences that would benefit from said little things take this piece for example when did mom first learn i was paralyzed by the vacuum was i alarmed by any other inanimate objects did i shriek in fear or lay fetal on the floor for a writer these details or the lack thereof can make or break a good piece and for someone still grieving the missing pieces are just another reminder of how real a loss is so like us writers usually do we improvise just like us grievers do with things like inherited debt and all that dreadful funeral paperwork we never knew existed it was probably an accident and she probably laugh cried i was definitely wary of the george foreman grill if i was then like i am now fetal definitely fetal it s all any of us can ever do also featured on huffington post healthy living out of the frying pan into the fire a life lessons listicle posted on november 17 2015 1 comment a friend recently informed me that i ve been living below the poverty line since blowing through my savings in a mere two ish years on my own i ve had the nice expensive pursian rug pulled out from underneath me the one that paved the way for lavish week long music festivals and all of the bar tabs i so heroically and regrettably offered to pay i ve kicked the itunes habit my stay at home mother so desperately begged me to curb in high school she was less than thrilled that my father s hard fought for pension was going towards things like the 1 2 step music video and the goofy movie soundtrack and nixed my morning cappuccinos all in hopes of keeping afloat and finding the center in my checkbook in a world where there are college courses on wine cornell university maple syrup alfred university and even the art of walking centre college but none on being a self sustainable human being learning to cut the crap must instead come naturally often on its own time and so i present to you adulting 101 the sparknotes edition 1 that s definitely mold you should definitely do something about it 2 make sure you re not paying part of the previous tenant s cable bill because you more than likely definitely are 3 never read the comments section 4 check that tupperware before microwaving 5 tupperware is spelled tupperware 6 the irs doesn t care that you also need to eat 7 open your mail 8 no seriously open your mail 9 never tell your dentist pre procedure that you don t care how it s going to look 10 your dna is on everything 11 snoozing five more minutes than you did yesterday every day will catch up to you and eventually get you fired in the same way that those seamless orders will come back to haunt your bank account 12 apr stands for annual percentage rate 13 annual percentage rate has something to do with your credit cards 14 which you should have apparently 15 say no if you want to 16 say yes if you want to 17 feel if you want to 18 snack if you want to 19 wine does not equal dinner and neither does air even if it s all you can afford at the moment 20 a savings account is called a savings account for a reason 21 if you use it like you would a checking account your bank will not so politely threaten to strip it of said title 22 cutlery ain t cheap 23 carpe dormio seize the nap also known as this is fine me and sarah and the movie about the dying girl posted on november 9 2015 1 comment photo from issuemagazine com sometime this summer i made the conscious and sober though somewhat hungover decision to go see me and earl and the dying girl alone to schlep to atlantic avenue in the pouring rain just so i could slouch down in the red faintly itchy seats of the brooklyn academy of music s modish movie theater and sob violently into the sleeve of my own dress at an indie flick about a teenage girl who gets leukemia her senior year of high school in other words to challenge a hypothetical freight train full of feelings to a game of chicken mid afternoon that gray saturday i informed two childhood friends of my conquest within the confines of a group chat most often reserved for double chin selfies and screenshots of texts we think are bitchy though both strongly encouraged that i do me and that it might be oddly therapeutic one later retracted her statement and said it would have been completely fucking masochistic to sit through that movie alone they both offered to keep me company if their schedules so allowed soon my friend sarah and i were under one umbrella en route to bam for the 6 45 showing after walking two blocks too south we grew up here i swear and reiterating not twice but three times to the concession stand clerk that we wanted butter on our colossal popcorn we sat back relaxed and grew fond of a character we hoped hard wouldn t die in the end whether or not she did is neither here nor there whether or not i kept my cool through the movie is also neither here nor there i did not i lost my shit but what is here and what is there is that for the first time since losing both of my parents to cancer a film about the disease did more than just remind me that other people s loved ones can kick the bucket too the dramedy directed by alfonso gomez rejon and based on the 201...