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Text of the page (random words):
rn for that hug perhaps another day as i get him ready for bed we read some books and by the time we are done he is lying beside me head on my lap engrossed in the little blue truck completing the sentences for me i feel gratitude and i pray for his long life i kiss him good night and remind myself the next time i do get to hug him i will hold him just a little tighter perhaps just a little longer ps lest i forget my good fortune i am distraught at the tragedy unfolding for the citizens of israel and gaza i am sad for those children and their mothers i hold them all in my heart and i mourn their losses with them share this share email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading leave a comment filed under life parenting thoughts tagged as challenges conflict on both sides feelings humanity life mothers and their children mourning personal privilege reflections war september 23 2023 12 25 pm you continue to inspire me i was already in medical school when i was asked what is the one thing you never want to do my immediate response was let my father down the raised eyebrows and snickers didn t escape my attention these people didn t know the sacrifices my father had made to get me into medical school and despite my failures the faith he had shown in my ability we all need that one champion who believes in us my champion was my father he always told me it isnt the results that matter it is the journey as long as i didn t give up and i had that fight in me i would be okay his faith me in me has guided my many decisions even today 12 years after his passing away the thought of letting my father down will pick me up from the trenches of my despair motivate me to do what i have already decided is impossible every success and reward i get i think of my father i wish he would be here to see that his faith in me was not in vain i think of the strentgh it takes in a parent to have that conviction i think of the faith one has to have in their own ability to be a parent i wonder where that determination comes from having one champion is sometimes is all it takes to be successful hhow does one do that consistently for their children as i hope to grow my family i miss my father immensely i continue to battle the daily grind personally and professionaly yet i keep going because somewhere i believe my father is watching my journey if ever asked again my answer will always be the same i never want to let my father down papa you still continue to inspire me share this share email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading leave a comment filed under emotions parenting personal relationships thoughts tagged as champions fatherly love life personal reflections august 31 2023 10 21 am breaking stereotypes when our child was born in march 2020 we were living through the worst week of the pandemic in the us people were dying the hospital systems were so overwhelmed that bodies were being stored in garbage bags make shift hospital beds were being installed in central park and no one had any idea what they were dealing with or what the next steps needed to be everyone was scared as the governments were playing politics with human suffering and public health systems were crashing in the most established of countries then there was us after 12 years of being married i was alone in a hospital giving birth to our miracle happy we made it through our infertility and losses to finally become parents me unaware of my husband s fear and he unaware of my loneliness but both happy that we have a child in our arms at the end of the our own personal ordeal there was no help we could avail of there were travel bans fears restuarants were closed building in nyc weren t allowing non essential personnel to come into the buildings so there were no cleaning cooking help allowed we brought a baby into our bubble with no one but our pediatrician in our lives my husband and i took turns with sleep feeding cooking cleaning and learning to be parents seeing our now 3 year old we know we survived the worst time in the pandemic with the most beautiful experience of parenting we took on non traditional roles i went back to my work my husband decided to continue his work form home even though we both knew that it would make his career suffer he wanted to support my career and not let the traditional motherhood tax impact my career growth trajectory while i struggled with mom guilt i leaned on my husband for everything to raise our child to be my support and keep us together and he did people often say that homes are built by women and there is a lot of truth to it but my husband is the one who has kept me and our family together he is the default parent he is the default partner his contributions to all things domestic are so obvious that our mothers who have experienced and live with traditional patriarchy struggle with our family dynamic so much so that they keep commenting on it sometimes affecting our harmony however i then see how much my 3 year old already contributes to being a helpful member of the family doing chores come naturally to them they are loving caring kind compassionate while i d like to take credit for some of the goodness in my child i know that my child emulates the biggest influence in their life their father being a present kind compassionate true partner and heforshe takes concious effort it takes practice and consistency my child is seeing experience that everyday of their life they watch their parents being happy and in harmony and wont know what tranditional patriarchy looks like while i sometimes wish i would not have to hear the taunts of our elders i also know i could not have given a better gift to our child we are breaking the stereotypes and we are hopeful our child will learn to live on their own terms share this share email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading 2 comments filed under a first celebration challenges conversations culture experiences living my life marriage new york parenting partner personal relationships society thoughts tagged as breaking stereotypes heforshe raising a child undoing patriarchy august 9 2023 7 51 am no one told us they say babies should come with manuals i have agreed for most part the range of normal in child rearing is rather infinite for folks that follow logic and science the lack of binomials can be unnerving i wish i had a go to we don t nor can there be different people find different stages of a child s life difficult the adjustment to the addition of a new variable in your equation takes a lot of work relationships change some for good some for bad the place you hold in society changes what can be done vs what cannot be done changes some people like to go with the flow and some change themselves for the sake of their child along the way one realizes there is no right way or wrong for that matter each family along with thier child is on a unique path of a parenting journey social media and the excessive knowledge at hand is excessive not one post makes you think your child is normal one is always on the edge wondering ones child is on the path to becoming a socio path leaving many parents on the verge of constant paranoia and worse still mental break downs from feeding specialists to behavioural gurus to motor skill specialists one will find an over load of everyone teaching you how to parent then you look at your child and wonder why they don t fit any mould you then stop to think how would your parents handle this child if they were around now you will be accused to continuing the age old cycle some toxic some perhaps not to toxic but no matter what you decide to take forward from what is the only reality you know is deemed wrong would it then be enough to ask oneself if you think you turned out alright if yes follow your parents i say i am no expert i must add i had no idea how much i would enjoy being a parent my joy at your presence in my life was unfathomable all along so far i was told wait until insert age here you will really struggle i have been waiting for those struggles all i have felt is immense joy and gratitude that you chose us to be your parents your learning and growth curves have been exponential with each different and progressing stage you have amazed your parents at your resilience and determination we enjoy your expanding vocabularly and how expertly you weave in newly learned words into your everyday conversation we marvel at your audacity to exert your independence even though you continue to be fully dependent on th adults around you for survival you are coming into your own person and we are loving to get to know you better you are funny determined kind and considerate you can be stubborn and get easily irritated when you don t get your way you are loved by your teachers and friends alike many parents that engage with you tell us what a lovely person you are and how grateful they are that you are their child s friend i celebrate your existence and continue to be grateful that you are part of our family i often worry how will you be placed in the world what values will you finally get from your parents how will you contribute to society why didn t anyone tell us that parenting will be about a lot of joy with always living worried and in fear share this share email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading 2 comments filed under parenting personal questions relationships society thoughts tagged as challenges happy life journey parenting personal raising a child reflections toddlers july 25 2023 4 09 am if i had to be honest do we just tend to hang onto toxicity in our lives because it is familiar i used to enjoy an instagrammer unapologetically indian lots of home cooking lovely sarees reminded me of home a lot and kept me close they also have a side to them that i d find jarring and abrasive sometimes contradictory as well to each their own i d say and continue consuming their content i wasn t enjoying it i would dread posts which would be negative based on poorly understood facts it s taken me a while but i finally unfollowed them i ll miss the food posts or posts on india but i won t miss the negativity the complexity of emotions i feel right now make me question my priorities i ve managed to negotiate a change in clinic location that in itself is a huge accomplishment i m aware i should be proud on one hand i m glad to leave the clinic that s been toxic unprofessional unkind on the other i am struggling as i know coming to this clinic gave me an edge above all else when no one else wanted to come here i did it made my efforts stand out i won t miss a soul if i had to be really honest i won t even miss most of my patients some i know won t be taken care of as i did that isn t my responsibility to uphold and yet i feel a sense of worry for them all i need to let go and move on and be proud of my achievements even if toxic something s are hard to let go if i had to be honest share this share email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x like loading leave a comment filed under challenges communication decisions experiences fears life personal society thoughts tagged as challenges making a change personal reflections standing up for oneself thoughts older posts don t want to miss a post follow me via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow join 544 other subscribers recent comments det res on adjustments debum on adjustments det res on breaking stereotypes bum on breaking stereotypes det res on no one told us debum on no one told us det res on mother s day debum on mother s day recent posts 6 24 2025 dear second child adjustments welcome my darling god have mercy hug them a little tighter you continue to inspire me breaking stereotypes find here search for archives archives select month june 2025 1 january 2024 1 december 2023 1 november 2023 1 october 2023 2 september 2023 1 august 2023 2 july 2023 2 may 2023 1 april 2023 1 march 2023 1 october 2022 1 december 2021 1 november 2021 1 october 2021 1 august 2021 2 july 2021 1 may 2021 1 april 2021 1 november 2020 1 september 2020 3 august 2020 4 july 2020 3 june 2020 1 may 2020 3 april 2020 2 march 2020 3 january 2020 2 october 2019 3 june 2019 1 april 2019 3 february 2019 2 january 2019 1 december 2018 1 may 2018 1 april 2018 4 march 2018 3 february 2018 3 january 2018 2 december 2017 2 november 2017 3 october 2017 4 september 2017 3 july 2017 1 june 2017 5 may 2017 5 april 2017 3 march 2017 2 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