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sassertations skip to main skip to sidebar tuesday november 16 2010 she s back www sassertations blogspot com with a whole new set of abandonment issues from blogger s inexplicable deletion of version 1 0 posted by maggie at 12 02 am no comments thursday november 11 2010 i m working on it i don t know who or what murdered my blog in the night but i m going to fix it posted by maggie at 7 52 am no comments wednesday october 13 2010 dilemma i m sick of my pc at work asking me if i want helpful tips but i can t bring myself to check the no do not ask me again box because there has got to be a kinder way to tell the computer that while i appreciate him for doing his job i m not interested in any of his advice now or ever posted by maggie at 4 48 pm 3 comments tuesday october 5 2010 franzonomics i like to go to dollar stores every now and then just to check out what s in there i don t like the thought of dropping 11 dollars on olive oil when there could be a dollar tree somewhere distributing the same bottle and i grossly overpay just because i didn t know or didn t remember i like to know what s what so a periodic revisit is the only way i can stay on top of the value of the american dollar it s kind of like how my basis of u s capital knowledge relies so heavily on how frequently my friends and i quiz each other about them which usually relies solely on how frequently we take long hikes with nothing to talk about which is why hikers always win final jeopardy always and why i can never remember the capital of north dakota in february so yesterday i m taking inventory at dollar tree great kitchen supplies sub par wrapping paper mystery paper grab bags that still call to me like the sirens of titan etc and i don t see anything i need more than i want to wait in a line with no conveyor belt so i leave and go to a real store at the real store i fall right into the dollar goggle trap and can t shed the idea that everything for sale is a dollar product quality goes up price mentality remains at washington wait a second the only thing that saved me from buying everything in sight was being so stoked to have solved the economic crisis in a mere monday evening i checked my supermarket sweep mentality and came up with this equation more dollar store exposure more real store purchases better economy dollar stores on every street corner i call it the dollar tree stimulus package i m working on the name posted by maggie at 12 17 pm 2 comments thursday september 30 2010 aabbccddeeffgg i understand handwriting is an art and piles upon piles of notebooks filled with writing is not only cool it s psychotic and psychosis is cool to the power of a bukowski novel and dissing it is definitely not cool so call me uncool but give me a sans serif typeface over my own handwriting any day in the past six months i ve demonstrated acceptable handwriting maybe twice one of those times was a to do list that i ve been featuring on my monitor for three weeks all the letters on the list turned out uniform sheep like and at my mercy not at all common i usually get at least one to two rogue letters per sentence who feel entitled to make themselves a couple times larger than their brothers reproducing the neatness of the to do list has actually become more stressful than the list ever was in the first place but i can t throw it out because it s too pretty and i can t live with the inferiority complex change oil in car plagues me with on a daily basis so i just want the world to know that while i respect the moleskin i use an iphone app for my to do lists now and i hope we can all just accept one another for it i also reserve the right to keep any small hemingway endorsed notepads with me at any time to make my purse the hip sexy storage i want it to seem posted by maggie at 3 48 pm 1 comment wednesday september 22 2010 it was cool but i don t wanna do it again i ve kept this for over six years after seeing it in the jacksonville journal courier back home right in the middle of a great tornado season and the story still gives me goosebumps text bob mulquin sips a beer while looking at his tornado damaged shed recently in rural franklin mr mulquin was hanging out in the shed with his cat tank march 12 when the tornado hit when one of the windows blew out me and him tank decided we were in trouble he said he was picked up and thrown over the lawn mower then thrown back across the room he grabbed onto a bench but the shed had moved off its foundation and was pushing the bench then i got whacked with an aerosol can don t ever leave aerosol cans in front of a window they were humming i never knew an aerosol can could hit you that hard mr mulquin was knocked out and woke up with tank tucked under his arm and his wife yelling out the door to see if he was ok i woke up and smoked a cigarette he said one of the shed s walls had buckled and the door rested on his truck s bumper an adjacent silo was blown away mr mulquin was worried that he was going to lose his beloved shed which is at least 67 years old when he moved the truck but it survived it was cool he said but i don t wanna do it again posted by maggie at 10 54 am 6 comments thursday september 9 2010 twinkle twinkle little zo i ll always appreciate my niece zoe for the way she single handedly has eradicated most memories of me as a child by carrying just enough of a resemblance to my photos to pass off as my own who s that loud looking child with the patchy hair i don t know some orphan with a rash hey here s a cute picture of me with flowers in my hair but i ll always love zoe for crawling into my heart like a little tick refusing to leave and i accept she ll out eat any adult at the dessert table she s always brushing the hair out of her eyes the only thing i see her do more than laugh is lie and she calls all her stuffed animals by the same name except for the one that was named kari on the tag that one she calls maggie zoe s been working her way up the rankings as my favorite niece nephew we really need a gender neutral term for this unit already for the last five years but five years to the day and she s done it happy birthday zoe on the seventh sorry tuesdays and thursdays are very easy to confuse posted by maggie at 3 28 pm 2 comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom contributors maggie maggie cause for pause brotherhood 2 0 found grammar girl ted the satorialist this i believe bloggers and friends ssbazodi serunya permainan lego 9 years ago a creative catastrophe 1 17 2014 11 years ago a fatal attraction to cuteness ice cream and north shore 12 years ago jane says jane jumps 13 years ago abo shamaa 13 years ago while busy making other plans this corner of the earth 13 years ago coco dependence this is a real hard post and my last one 14 years ago tony s blog test 15 years ago willard sars 15 years ago a touch of unreality shaq fu 17 years ago rotary phones and oxbow lakes blog archive 2010 22 november 2 she s back i m working on it october 2 september 3 august 2 july 2 june 2 may 2 april 2 march 2 february 2 january 1 2009 37 december 1 november 2 october 5 september 3 august 2 july 2 june 4 may 2 april 4 march 4 february 4 january 4 2008 43 december 5 november 5 october 4 september 2 august 4 july 4 june 5 may 4 april 3 march 1 february 4 january 2 2007 7 december 3 november 3 october 1