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that i feel like 2020 me needed all that exercise and discipline and what 2021 me needs is self compassion and kindness i m now working on being okay with the body i m in it s taken me everywhere up to now and i m grateful for it what i ve taken from this experience is that i enjoy running and working out generally but that i don t need to work so hard for some version of me that is a certain size or weight that someone else says is what i need to be the body i m in is a story of what i ve done what i ve been through and i m okay with that story and i m okay with me written by anonymous at 21 44 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday november 15 2021 thinking about careers it s been awhile so in case you need a recap i have two children one is 16 this month and the other is 13 the eldest is sitting his gcse exams and the youngest is choosing his gcse options this year both are pretty scary to be honest helping my eldest revise for his exams having those conversations about what he might want to do after gcses a level choices have an impact on what he can study at university talking about how he views his adult life after education he s still only 15 and these are the conversations we re having i get that people change track that even if he follows one route doesn t mean he s locked into that path forever and ever but even so was everyone making those decisions at such a young age was everyone else having these thoughts about their entire futures at 15 i sure wasn t i may have been going through things that other teenagers weren t possibly more on this at another time but i definitely never considered having a job i never even considered what i wanted out of life or pictured myself as an adult if you asked 15 year old me what she d look like or dream about 20 years down the line 15 year old me probably would have shrugged and said dunno i ll get there when i get there i guess i actually didn t progress in schooling after the age of 16 it wasn t a lack of ability or desire it was more about the circumstances of it all i did go to university eventually and i have a degree now but i feel like i was floating in the wind for so much of my life it really was only 4ish years ago when i was working as a supervisor at accessorize where i decided what i didn t want to do work in retail work weekends work shift patterns be forced into working every christmas i ve talked about it in a previous post but it really was only then in my 30s having only ever worked in retail that i sat down and considered what a proper career might look like for me and i was lucky i found that hr might be something i d enjoy doing took a qualification in it and was able to get my first hr job off the back of that qualification and now here i am 4 years into my new career and i couldn t be happier i m not sure i even knew what hr was when i was my boys ages i certainly didn t think of it as a career prospect i didn t study for it at university it wasn t touched on in my education prior to that would it have occurred to me if i had my support as a teenager if there were other people in my life looking out for me helping me to ask the questions maybe one of the things that i ve considered lately is becoming a mentor to young people going to them via systems in place not just randomly approaching young people and speaking to them about the work that hr does or at least about my experiences whilst i find it a lot of pressure speaking with my 13 year old about his future and what prospects lay ahead of him at least we re broaching the subject he s giving things thought and in having these conversations with my boys with any future mentees who knows maybe things won t be so scary i sure hope so did your job prospects follow a straight line did you work in an area you studied in have you ever been a mentor this subject fascinates me i d love to hear from you written by anonymous at 13 28 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday november 14 2021 new directions i haven t written on this blog since 4 january and if i m honest i think for several years now i ve considered just shutting the whole thing down drawing and line and saying that s it fluttering butterflies is over now but something has stopped me from doing it it s funny how i talk to new people about my blogging days as though it was a different lifetime as though i was a different person and i guess it is sort of true i ve gone through a lot of changes lately including a great deal of personal growth which does make me feel like i m a different person and i ve given a lot of thought about what i take with me into this new version of myself i ve also struggled with this blog because i love it but it s been about books for so long that i ve forgotten it wasn t about books for a long time too and i think i ve worked endlessly trying to recreate the success of it when it was a book blog forgetting that books don t bring me joy in the same way anymore not in the same way that my dog brings me joy or netflix or my job or figuring out this new person i m becoming i m not the quickest person but i think i ve finally gotten it i enjoy writing and i want to keep this blog i just don t want to write about books anymore or at least i don t want to restrict my thoughts to just books that i m not really reading lately so hopefully you ll stick around anyway if any of you still read this i promise cute dog pics if nothing else written by anonymous at 20 18 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday january 04 2021 2021 goals happy new year everyone i hope that 2021 is a better year for us all personally i am very happy to see the back of 2020 and i am quietly hopeful that this year will be a fresh new start for me i ve read that a lot of people aren t making goals or resolutions this year or are going down a self care sort of route i am all for that having said that though i m a planner i love making goals i love my lists and keep track of my progress with stuff so if that s your sort of self care then do read on i was running this morning and as i was running i ended up feeling super motivated to accomplish all my goals this year it s a nice feeling please also enjoy this photo of me in one of my christmas presents reading goals read 12 non fiction books read 6 classics read and review all my netgalley books currently 0 13 books health lose 20 lbs run a 10k join a local exercise class when safe to do so blogging booktubing upload regular content to bookish brits gain more subscribers currently 724 subscribers post regular content to this blog get more involved in the book blogging and booktubing communities personal goals new job board game nights with the family get a haircut keep up to date with personal development within hr have you set yourself any goals for 2021 written by michelle fluttering butterflies at 12 59 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday august 05 2020 review harrow lake by kat ellis i have to be honest it was the cover of harrow lake by kat ellis that had me intrigued i saw it on netgalley and horror isn t really my jam but i was too tempted to pass this one by and you know what it s become one of my biggest reading surprises of the year harrow lake has such a fantastic old school horror film vibe to it small town old fashioned clothing the creepiness in everyday items and places there s such a low key creep factor to it that really builds throughout despite it not being my usual reading material i found it really easy to fall into the story and into these characters harrow lake is a pretty unsettling place a small town that has been cut off from everything not updated for decades and obsessed with the horror film that was filmed there and that made the town famous our main character is lola who is the daughter of the film director who chose harrow lake as his film s setting and it s where her parents met on set but her mum has disappeared and when her dad is brutally attacked lola is sent to harrow lake to stay with her grandmother in this town that has not moved on i kind of loved how lola doesn t really know who to trust or what to make of her grandmother and those she meets in harrow lake the jitterbugs in her mum s old room the puppet in the town s museum the abandoned sets used for the film all add different layers to how unsettling the book is i read bits of the bone tree out to my family and they were all suitably horrified i think my favourite thing about harrow lake aside from how easily entertaining it is is that it digs deeper than i was expecting into the buried secrets of their family into those unanswered questions at the heart of lola s and harrow lake s story and for that i found this book utterly fascinating just you know keep an eye out mr jitters is coming written by anonymous at 17 56 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels books celebrating british authors contemporary horror netgalley penguin review ukya ya sunday june 28 2020 review camp by lc rosen well how good is camp by lc rosen when i first saw the book on netgalley my first thought was i love the cover and i still think it is very eye catching then i saw it was written by lc rosen and i recently read and loved jack of hearts and other parts by the same author so that piqued my interest then i found this book is about queer teenagers who go to a summer camp specifically for a safe space to celebrate their queerness and that was it i was sold the premise of camp is such that readers must know from the outset that things will go wrong but i m here for the journey so that didn t bother me so randy has been going to camp outland for years he takes part in the summer musical it s where he s met all his best friends and it s where he fell in love from afar with hudson hudson who doesn t even know randy exists because hudson only likes straight acting masculine guys so randy has a plan this year he s come to camp with a total make over he s cut his hair lost weight and he s trying out a new masculine look to woo the heart of hudson he s even abandoning the musical in order to take part in all the sports activities that hudson does he figures it ll be okay to just have cosmetic changes and it s not that bad because who he is inside is the same and if he stops wearing nail polish just until hudson falls for him that ll be okay right despite the inherent mess that the premise causes what i loved about this book is the very idea of such a wonderful supportive summer camp i love the idea of this safe space for queer teens who need a place to unwind and have fun without negativity or judgement i loved that this book included a wide representation of the lgbt community and that randy s friends support him but also question him like crazy about this pretty dumb plan i think that camp is pretty focused on this relationship between randy and hudson but there is also a pretty great character development between these two main characters with each of them learning a great deal more about themselves and what they re about randy s friendship group was another major strength of the novel though and i was living for them calling out randy s behaviour throughout the book i loved the exploration of toxic masculinity internalised homophobia and gender roles i loved the core message of be and love yourself i also loved that lgbt history is subtly woven through the story camp is definitely one to look out for written by anonymous at 10 00 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels books contemporary lgbt netgalley penguin ya saturday june 27 2020 review boy queen by george lester well what a lot of fun book boy queen by george lester is thoroughly entertaining from start to finish and i really had thoughts and opinions on some of the characters one in particular no spoilers promise and at times i really just wanted to shake robin our main character and be all girl what s with all the lies so robin is just turning 18 and he is surrounded himself with an incredible assortment of supportive people his mum his drama teacher his dance teacher and his friends i love how much support robin has in his life also as an aside i loved his relationship with his mum so much robin doesn t have it all figured out but he has his besties and he has this secret boyfriend and robin plans to go to drama school in london but when he faces rejection after rejection for everywhere he applies he goes through a bit of a tailspin honestly i just loved poor robin he s so talented and lacking in confidence he s so awkward and he keeps telling lies instead of just talking to the people who love and care about him the dialogue in this is hilarious because all of the characters are full of sass but i wanted it all there was some great messages about the importance of treating the people in your life like they are important and finding those things that make you stupidly happy about picking yourself up after set backs i wanted robin to get there quicker with his interest in drag after seeing a local drag show with his friends not going to lie loved every bit of make up and high heels and the transformation of all singing all dancing theatre nerd into on fire confident drag queen it was a joy to behold as were the drag queens themselves especially kay bye who shines as robin s drag mum this was george lester s debut book and i cannot wait to read more by him preorder boy queen now or add it to your wish lists publishing on 6th august written by anonymous at 10 00 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels books british books challenge contemporary lgbt macmillan ukya ya friday june 19 2020 mini reviews the great godden the gravity of us and giant days the great godden by meg rosoff i was really looking forward to reading the great godden by meg rosoff i ve really enjoyed her books in the past and the description of this one sounded really appealing a big family spends the summer at their holiday house by the sea and they re joined by these two boys one of whom is the mysterious and charming kit godden and what follows is this summer of love everything about that appeals to me summer beach house love i thought the great godden was written really beautifully written as is to be expected from meg rosoff and i loved the lazy summer days and the quirks of this family but certain elements of the book just didn t work for me as well 1 we are never told the name or gender of the main character the reader i guess is left to make any conclusions on their own as i did but i don t think this worked very well 2 i think maybe my expectations of this book based on the description versus what actually happens within the story were vastly different which hampered my enjoymen...