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e d had dreams of being on a train with communist soldiers this caused tremendous fear in her i remember it being near my birthday and we were on the phone with not premeditation on my part i asked if she would like to accompany me back to romania there was an immediate and emphatic yes from the time i met her until this point i was more than a mentor she was also enrolled in some bible courses she was like an eager baby bird taking in each morsel of the knowledge of the lord and his ways her spiritual life was as if it had wings of its own although she was an adult i knew if her parents were not in agreement with this i would not take her with me you see there was still much turmoil in that nation i was well aware of the dangers and knew if she was unsure of herself that it could spell big trouble she needed to know too that she had the full support of her parents i spent much time with her folks letting them know exactly what i had been doing i spelled out all the pro s and con s i also let them know that there were areas we would be traveling that could be potential problems they asked me many questions it only took a short while before they knew they could trust me with making sure we both got in and out of romania safely that first time she accompanied me to romania was like watching a newborn take their first steps the broad boulevards in bucharest the chaotic way they drove was unlike anything she had seen mesmerized is the only word i can think of that comes close to describing the way it was for her i had to literally hold her hand as we crossed those broad streets due to the fact she was looking at all the buildings and different types of architecture she was paying no attention to the traffic we had an apartment that was nothing like here in the usa there was no hot water and only cold water for a few hours of the day much time there was no gas for cooking the differences between the usa and romania at that time were polar opposites much of the infrastructure that had been damaged during ww2 had never been repaired the subsequent earthquake only worsened the situation now i m going to jump through several years she was my constant traveling companion she also traveled with me here in the usa when i had ministry engagements she would go to the auditorium or conference room and make sure everything was set up properly for me before i began to minister to the people her actions were invaluable the closeness we shared truly was like a mother and daughter again i had to return to romania this time she met the young man that was like a son to me i had met him the first time i was in romania he was like a guide and translator for me until i began to gain some footing in that nation i knew his entire extended family due to the fact there were many areas of the nation i had to travel he went with me this led to him meeting many of my contacts new friendships were formed between him and the others i was there to serve in ministry and in the medical field by now my young daughter and i were like one person even to the point of finishing each other s sentences when my young daughter and son met you could see they were interested in one another again jump with me through a few years there was a dinner that he invited her and i to with his family in attendance it was to be at the home of his parents we had been here many times but this time it felt different during the course of the meal he became very serious and said he wanted to ask me a question i told him to go ahead and ask he said since you are marie s spiritual mother i want to ask if i can have her hand in marriage i already knew that they most likely would marry at some point yet i must say i was not thinking he would ask me the two of them looked at one another then quickly looked at me i was in tears since i recognized this as a union made in heaven yes yes yes was my answer everyone at the table exploded in laughter and tears the next question would be when would the marriage take place again i want to remind you that things in romania did not work as they do here and since this time things have vastly improved there were hoops we needed to jump through including bribery the two of them wanted me to perform the ceremony this was an impossibility as my ministry credentials were not recognized in romania needless to say the marriage was certainly not going to take place while here at this time planning and precision made me feel like a spy in fact my young son always referred to me as a spy for god the following year they were married in romania it was most definitely the hand of the lord that worked out all the details however it also meant that when i returned to the usa i would be going alone marie being married to a romanian had a mountain of paper work to be filled out allowing him an exit visa it was like being in a spy movie to watch as all of this unfolded it took several months but they both made it safely back to the usa he is now a citizen of the usa a few years later they had a beautiful son although i do not live in the same city as they do we could at least talk on the phone and emailed almost every day most of you that have been following this site know that i had been in an abusive marriage for 25 years it took the action of the police to help me get out of that situation however the years of abuse had finally taken a toll on my health i have struggled with significant health issues since 2005 rarely am i even able to leave the house at this point i have had two major surgeries then the discovery of brain lesions and now another issue has reared it s ugly head most of you know too that i am now remarried to the most amazing guy on the planet finally i feel safe for the first time in a quarter century unless one has suffered chronic illness and pain it is difficult to explain how it affects you you see marie knew of the abuse too she had witnessed it and at times would try to come to my defense all this did was cause my abuser greater outrage when she would leave our home again i need you to jump through a bit of time with me i never told my young daughter to the extent of my physical limitations however i told her enough that she understood it was very serious last year she had told me about a doctor that was into alternative medicine she even set it up for us to talk on the phone they things he recommended to me i relayed to my own doctor due to the severity of one of my physical problems if i had followed the advice of this other doctor it could have killed me you see one of the physical issues that were found was a heredity defect and needed to be surgically corrected in the mean time marie and i continued to talk and email almost constantly then three days in a row there was no communication at all this was odd i wondered if something was wrong with her her husband or the baby i began to panic then i thought to email him at his office still no response getting no reply from him was unheard of until now i made the decision to call her parents her mother answered the phone and told me that they were fine we chit chatted for a few minutes and hung up i asked her to give marie the message that i had contacted them as i was worried about her she agreed now weeks had passed and still no contact by this time i learned that i was going to be having yet another surgery that was quite significant i thought i would call her mother again to let her know i was going to be in the hospital and what the surgery involved this time there was a noticeable coolness in her voice i just chalked it up to her possibly having had a difficult day when i came home from the hospital there was still no contact i reread through dozens of emails nothing was out of the ordinary in any of them literally from one day to the next all communication from her had stopped this made no sense but the heartbreak i felt was beyond what i have words to express it felt as if someone had cut out my heart the only thing i could possibly think of was that she was angry that i did not follow up with the doctor involved in alternative medicine i know this is a stretch but there was absolutely nothing else i could think of since the surgery i had was so serious i decided to contact her mother again i thought surely she would have wondered if i came through ok i decided to call her mother one more time when she answered the phone i let her know that since i still had not heard from marie i asked if she would let her know that i was home and the surgery was successful these were her mother s exact words to me she s a grown woman and lives in her own house that s it nothing else keep in mind that both her parents were people that i had gotten to know well over the years this created great stress and heartbreak as i had no clue as to what was going on prior to all this marie had asked me if i had duplicates of certain items from romania that she could have she was making a memory book for their son i told her that i was unsure and if i did these items would most likely be in our storage area i eventually found all the items she had asked about and mailed them to her with a letter these items were very important to her yet in the letter i poured out my heart letting her know that i do not even know why she broke off all communication i ended it by letting her know that i will always love her after all she was the daughter that the lord had given me i know that she received the items i mailed but still no contact from her to this day there are people that the lord will put into our lives for but a season however i know this was relationship was not one of them this one was for life tears tears tears when will they end will the pain in my heart ever diminish many times i thought about writing about this situation yet it was so painful i could not bring myself to put it all down for anyone else to read simply put it hurt too much however now there has been a bit more time between now and then the heartbreak and pain is still there but now i can at least think of it and not feel so grief stricken i must confess though there is a crack in my heart that feels it will never heal i am still struggling with significant health issues and i need to focus on regaining my health at the end of this post i am deciding to put this whole thing on the shelf for now since emotionally i do not have the strength to deal with it maybe at a later date although i have reached the end of this post i need you to know there is so much more to this the absolute joy and growth in her that i witnessed was a remarkable sight i m sure there are many of you that have experienced a broken relationship such as this how did you survive it michelle 4 comments posted in friends history hope illness life personal thoughts tags family friends history hope illness life love personal relationship thoughts travel posted by michelle2005 august 3 2009 never argue with a woman somebody sent me this email a while back i have no idea of it s origin however it was so funny i decided to post it here to give all of you a good laugh one morning a husband returns the family boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap although not familiar with the lake the wife decides to take the boat out she motors out a short distance anchors puts her feet up and begins to read her book the peace and solitude are magnificent along comes a fish and game warden in his boat he pulls up alongside the woman and says good morning ma am what are you doing reading a book she replies thinking isn t that obvious you re in a restricted fishing area he informs her i m sorry officer but i m not fishing i m reading yes but i see you have all the equipment for all i know you could start at any moment i ll have to take you in and write you up if you do that i ll have to charge you with sexual assault says the woman but i haven t even touched you says the game warden that s true but you have all the equipment for all i know you could start at any moment have a nice day ma am and he left moral never argue with a woman who reads it s likely she can also think 2 comments posted in comedy friends funny humor tags comedy funny humor personal women posted by michelle2005 july 26 2009 when will the racism end those of you that have been following this blog know my grief over the lingering racism that still exists in our nation those that think that racism has ended simply have never had to deal with it the below article i d gotten from the southern poverty law center from their hatewatch division the hatewatch is listed in my blogroll splc site is http www splcenter org old south slavery defender to speak at conference hosted by major christian right leader posted by heidi beirich on july 22 2009 12 01 pm in christian right the senior pastor of 1 bethlehem baptist church a major minneapolis based congregation with more than 6 000 worshipers has 2 invited extremist preacher 3 doug wilson to speak at an upcoming national conference commemorating the 500th anniversary of john calvin s birth 4 john piper who preaches at bethlehem and runs desiring god an outfit that promotes his religious beliefs is regarded as a mainstream evangelical and bethlehem is a member of the baptist general conference wilson based in idaho is anything but mainstream he has written that old south slavery was a life of plenty and has said he believes adultery should in certain circumstances be punished by execution this is the second time this year that wilson has found favor in mainstream christian circles in june on the 5 bill of a conference wilson hosted was charles colson recipient of the 2008 presidential citizens medal and a revered christian right leader for decades dating back to 1975 when he founded the prison fellowship ministry after serving time for obstruction of justice in connection with the watergate scandal wilson runs an extreme right religious 6 empire in moscow idaho that includes a church canon press and new saint andrews college popular in neo confederate circles as well he co wrote a partly plagiarized 7 booklet southern slavery as it was defending old south slavery his co author was 8 steve wilkins a founding member of the neo secessionist and racist 9 league of the south southern slavery as it was is a repulsive 10 apologia for the enslavement of black americans among other things the booklet contends that slavery as it existed in the south was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence there has never been a multiracial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world when a university of idaho professor revealed in 2004 that wilson s booklet contained 22 passages plagiarized from a discredited 1974 academic treatise wilson scoffed deriding the local banshees who criticized him over what he portrayed as a mere citation problem canon press then issued a corrected version of the boo...