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about places i lived i remember how proud she was of me when i finally got that education when i received my masters degree she had my diplomas all my diplomas matted in a huge display at what must have been a significant expense i remember her constantly helping my children navigate through life s issues they would regularly call grandma for help often before calling me i remember her refusing to give any of those same children any christmas or birthday present other than a book readers are leaders michael she would say i remember her turning every conversation back to children s literature hey did you know xyz author wrote a book about this no mother but why don t you tell me i remember many political discussions my mother and i were opposed to many things politically and sometimes it got heated but never disrespectful and she always listened to my side sometimes even changing her mind i remember her talking about her trip to switzerland for years afterward for a small town girl from iowa it must have been an exciting experience i remember people asking her how can you have 6 only children it was obvious she treated us all with her full attention every time i remember her excitedly talking about her grand children and great grand child it was another chance for her to personally influence young lives it was her mission for them to not accept the boundaries they set for themselves i remember talking to her 2 weeks ago the last time i talked to her she was in the basement because of a tornado warning i had called to see if she was ok she assured me she was fine i told her to stay safe and we hung up it was a short conversation i wish it would have been longer i remember this past wednesday i was hiking with my dog and i thought of her every time i saw a butterfly or purple flowers your mother is always with you by deborah r culver she s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street she s the smell of certain foods you remember flowers you pick the fragrance of life itself she s the cool hand on your brow when you re not feeling well she s your breath in the air on a cold winters day she is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep the colors of a rainbow she is christmas morning your mother lives inside your laughter she s the place you come from your first home she s the map you follow with every step you take she s your first love your first friend even your first enemy but nothing on earth can separate you not time not space not even death posted by mikemac356 at 16 24 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday june 13 2021 ego a few weeks ago i was in a very dark place i don t often let life get to me and outwardly people would say i appear to have my shit together but internally i allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the totality of my perceived failures what are those failures i felt like i wasn t progressing professionally intellectually or athletically i have attended some training classes in the last 6 months where i perceived i didn t met my own standards i am doing a job i love but maybe there is no where to go from there my workouts are no less intense however the volume is waning as recovery is not only essential but mandatory to maintain the status quo i have essentially quit running an activity i used to be obsessed with ultimately i felt that at 57 years old i have peaked and things will never progress farther after a literal lifetime of setting and conquering goals i am struggling to keep from sliding back down the hill this is very hard to accept the more we value things out of our control the less control we have marcus aurelius i became acquainted with stoic philosophy a few years ago and have read most of the famous texts i try to apply the tenets to my life the best i can as happens to all of us while seeking self improvement i tend to do this imperfectly after moping about for a few days i realized my descent into depression was all due to ego i was feeling down because of what i perceived others thought of me and my failings what i realized is that i cannot control others perceptions of me quite honestly the majority of people are too worried about their own life and problems to think about me at all those friends and family that reached out to me were kind and uplifting my entire focus was wrong we suffer more in imagination than reality seneca making a conscious effort to control the ego has been liberating the last few weeks trying very hard to no longer care what others think about me but to continue down the path as best i can has lightened my mood and increased my enjoyment of the day to day a small example i have always had body image issues i have not been gifted with the most natural physique or most athletic skills i have worked hard over the years to maintain fitness and develop skills but genetics being what they are age and time have blessed me with what most would call a dad bod recently i mowed my yard with my shirt off because it was hot no big deal right to me that was huge i can count on my fingers the times in my life when i have been in public without a shirt on after the age of 10 i decided to not care what others thought i quit worrying about what i couldn t control their thoughts and worried about what i could control my comfort its a small step further down the path i will continue to fail going forward but as ryan holiday said in his book ego is the enemy the work is enough posted by mikemac356 at 13 18 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels ego marcusaurelius ryanhilliday seneca stoicism sunday january 17 2021 blog update in an attempt to contextualize and revitalize my literary output i will be stopping the mission creep here at the former action guy blog going forward this blog will only contain war stories and random thoughts to follow my instructional posts go to www eighteenzulu blogspot com to see posts on my personal training go to https formeractionguytraining blogspot com ciao posted by mikemac356 at 17 15 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday december 31 2020 2020 by the numbers seventh annual yearly numbers recap physical activity 500 00 miles ran rucked or walked did not hit my goal of 1000 miles that s about 238 less miles than last year my movement suffered this year for a lot of reasons none of them that are good excuses making my goal 700 miles for next year with a pie in the sky goal of 1000 192 workouts that s an average of 3 69 a week did not hit my goal of 4 workouts per week going to keep this goal the same i think it is attainable 5330 push ups 5335 sit ups 2320 burpees and 1127 pullups for the year none of these hit my goals the derecho we had really put a cabash on things due to the loss of my garage gym still no excuse i was just lazy the original goal was 10 000 pushups and situps 5000 burpees and 2500 pullups i hit those goals in 2019 so i will keep this goal for next year 113 bjj sessions and 210 50 hours of training that s an average of 2 17 sessions 4 04 hours per week hit my goal of at least 2 session per week my unbroken attendance streak was stopped at 137 weeks due to covid shutdown i will keep this goal at 2 times per week 21 no gi bjj training sessions for the year my original goal was 2 session per month i averaged 1 75 times i will keep this goal the same no bjj competitions or go ruck events this year i am probably done with both of those no races either due to covid cancellations mental activity and personal training 13 books read my goal was 20 i will keep this goal the same 11 audiobooks listened to my goal was 10 i ll keep this goal the same 1 bjj seminar conducted by 7 time world champion xande ribiero 1 shivworks edged weapons overview class 1 land the plane class my 11th time attending this curriculum 1 minnesota ccw class renewal 1 wilderness upgrade for the medical professional certified as a wilderness emt 1 shivworks vehicle combatives and tactics course 1 flight medic course not complete yet i didn t get a pure shooting course in this year due to covid hopefully next year plan to continue the flight pm class attend ecqc and ewo again as well take a basic survival class as a refresher teaching activity and classes taught 1 community stop the bleed class 2 cpr classes 2 pre hospital trauma life support course 1 advanced medical life support course 2 emergency medical technician courses 1 advanced emergency medical technician course 1 paramedic course 1 active shooter response course 3 casualty care 1 courses 3 casualty care 2 course 5 introduction to defensive pistol classes 2 fundamentals of home defense handgun classes 3 intuitive defensive shooting classes 1 managing unknown contacts class 1 co taught an ice training defensive firearms coach instructor development course 1 seminars spoken at benton county ems day 1 episode as a podcast guest writing and podcasts 7 podcasts episodes produced 10 personal blog entries 11 professional blog entries 1 published article on self defense tactics ems and pd 256 ems calls attended this year was the reverse of 2019 i left my full time teaching gig and went back to being a full time paramedic about 3 4 through the year i also quit my pt medic service director job and went down to just one ems job 106 hours worked as a reserve police officer random numbers 38 years since army enlistment 16 years since army retirement 32 years since ranger school graduation 30 years since special forces qualification course graduation 14 years since becoming an emt 6 years since becoming a paramedic 33 years since marriage that s it another great year posted by mikemac356 at 19 12 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday october 30 2020 vehicle combatives and shooting tactics vcast 10 9 10 12 2020 earlier this month i traveled to the council bluffs area to participate in a shivworks alumni only class hosted by lghk and taught by one of the nation s foremost experts on entangled weapons fighting craig douglas of shivworks i have attended craig s extreme close quarters combatives and edged weapons overview courses multiple times and he is one of my favorite instructors and favorite people quite honestly his classes are a mixture of good humor good information and good ass kickings day one was a short friday evening session of approximately 2 hours we spent those two hours learning the proper way to debus from our vehicles as is usual with craig s coursework i gained a depth of knowledge i didn t even know i needed to know we exited our vehicles starting belted and un belted drivers side and passenger side passenger side from the drivers side and vice versa we exited with weapon in hand and without time well spent on a subject that seems pretty straightforward day two was saturday day two is primarily a range day we spent the majority of the day engaging targets from inside our vehicles using your personal vehicle sure heightens the attention to detail both passenger side and drivers side side and front facing with a passenger and without on your side and acrossed to the other side after working on engagements from the inside we moved outside and used the car as cover to engage targets and each other using simunitions and tguns finally we wrapped up the day with a scenario using tguns and vehicles this scenario tested your muc skills and your decision making as well as your markmanship day 3 was sunday day 3 was the most physically demanding day day 3 started with 4 hours of in car grappling craig and his assistant instructor scott oates compared this block to bjj and rock climbing in a vehicle we explored many options both as passenger and driver with the agressor inside the car and out this culminated in another 1 on 1 evo between students in the car the afternoon of day 3 was more of an experiment as we shot various rounds of various calibers and from varios platforms into some vehicles to see the effects day 3 ended about 1600 as usual this shivworks offering was fantastic i learned alot that i was able to apply immediately i also gained knowledge that will allow me to articulate my reactions if i get caught in a situation similiar to the ones in class thanks to craig and scott for the time and instruction posted by mikemac356 at 14 53 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels shivworks vcast nols wilderness emt the final scenario on the night of day 4 was one of the most realistic and well guarded secrets i have experienced in my time as an ems student practitioner and educator day 5 was final testing both written and practical leaving as a certified wemt is a highlight of an otherwise crappy year in early august i traveled to western north carolina to attend a wlderness emt course i had been trying to take this course for almost 2 years and was finally getting the chance the course was held in cullowhee nc at the landmark learning campus ll has a great campus and the instructors are top notch i spent the week attending what was essentially an accelerated emt course with a wilderness slant the course was limited to medical professionals so the learning curve was sharp i was housed in my 2 man tent surrounded by the woods at night every day followed a pattern of scenario and lecture as we covered all aspects of emt scope of practice we delved deep into consideration for remote medicine and how to make do with what you have posted by mikemac356 at 14 53 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels landmark learning nols wemt thursday july 9 2020 yellow river forest and backbone july 2020 my labrador and hiking companion mel went with me on a short overnight hiking trip this past week we took off on tuesday about 0800 for the 2 hour drive to yellow river state forest in northeast iowa once we showed up we geared up signed in and headed out this is the same place we did some hiking last year so i was familiar with the area we decided to do some exploring and go a different route from last year that lead to our first tactical error the first mile on the trail we selected was super steep it took us about 45 minutes and mel was blowing pretty hard being a black lab she gets overheated quickly and its was over 90 degrees we rested ate and i took her pack off for awhile we drank about half our water so my next plan was to make towards the camp we had stayed at last year be because i knew there was a creek there so we hiked that way drinking the rest of our water enroute when we got there i refilled water and let mel drink her fill i also got her soaked down from the creek we then made our way a short distance to the camp site to take a break when we got there we ate again and this was about 3 30 in the afternoon i decided to take a small nap and let us both cool down after about 15 minutes i heard what appeared to be t...