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Text of the page (random words):
ted every night wipe wipe rub rub at one stage i thought she d lost it well let s face it she s been leading up to it for months now in fact the moment i met her i privately placed her in the barmy category all was revealed however on sunday night when i came face to face with this hyperactive explosion of ginger fur apparently he s my new brother his name s mac and i don t like him very much in fact i hate him the reason muttie kept rubbing me with the tee shirt was that prior to meeting me she rubbed the ginger thing in it and believed some sort of transference would take place ie apparently cos the ginger thing smelled like me i d think it was my offspring doh just how much intelligence to humans attribute to cats out of sheer curiosity and immediate hatred i had a sniff at the ginger furball gads my instinctive and i reckon intelligent reaction was to rear my back spit hiss and growl i then showing my distaste fled the scene three days hence he s still here muttie spends her nights in the spare room with him and paw cuddles up to me in the double bed could cats cause relationship anxiety anyways i don t want the muttie and paw to split up on account of my dislike of ginger furball so i ve devised a plan to rid us of him once and for all i will eat all his food so he ll starve to death take him for some road sense lessons only forget to teach him the basics introduce him to the neighbourhood fox give him a bunch of lilly s to chew on any more suggestions welcome your not particularly friendly milt xx ps the muttie woman says if i don t put a link on here to her pinkvox column then in her words you think your life is bad right now in terms of a kitten conundrum let s just see how much worse it can get at this point i realise life is a compromise and i m willing to do whatever to get the old bat off my back ps the forthcoming text has no relation to my musings http www pinkvox com index php old reflection 47 humorrumor 120 feeble texts and feathered fluff posted by milton at 15 25 25 comments monday 14 june 2010 what s going on oooooh one does enjoy a good back scrub in dirt free exfoliation courtesy of mother nature meanwhile what to report there s an air of secrecy around the household these days i catch muttie and paw whispering away then when i stroll into the vicinity they change the subject muttie will say something like so petrol s gone up another 10p eh and i just know their current conversation isn t related to what they were speaking about previously also on saturday muttie bought a packet of hill s extra special cat food the kitten variety now i might be small for an adult male cat and rather muscular i might add but i ain t no kitten fatboy says i m just being paranoid and maybe they re just trying to keep me on my paws but i m not so sure also muttie s cancelled all engagements for the last weekend in june and she and paw are planning to sleep in separate rooms apparently i ve to sleep with paw but who s muttie going to be sleeping with not that i particularly want to sleep with her cos boy can she snore but it s the principle ya know anyway sorry i know this isn t a particularly informative post but i m just wondering if you blogging buddies can shed any light your much maligned milt x posted by milton at 11 57 26 comments saturday 5 june 2010 historical boobs my muttie s i ve been a bad kitty in more ways than one firstly i haven t been blogging as regularly as i should due to a fascinating big clump of wood and leaves in our neighbour s garden which the aforementioned has left lying all week she felled her two trees in one go well i feel it s my mission to inspect this now redundant huge piece of nature to ensure there are no mice etc inhabiting it and unfortunately there s not and believe me i have spent hours rummaging to the extent that muttie has had to come grab me to get me to come to bed at night she even ventured out in her pyjamas the other night shudder this is not a pretty sight especially as the complicated bone structured stuff she refers to as underwear no longer holds her in and the other reason i ve been bad well actually this is muttie s fault as usual i believe there was a historical error in my last post due to muttie s crap research yes the silly bint told me that queen elizabeth the first had an affair with ghillie brown when really everyone knows that ruffs only came into fashion after mary queen of scots defeated hitler at the battle of bannockburn in 1066 doh she s sacked again anyhows other matters me paw and the muttie one went to the local rspb centre at lochwinnoch the other day and we discovered all these wierd objects nailed to trees well they re not wierd objects in themselves but to find them nailed onto trees was pretty kooky yes that s a teddy bear and the other weird item er that ll be a hat then and the reason for this they re both birds nests recycling tastic another thing happened at the rspb reserve and i was soooo embarrassed but i believe the muttie bint is using it for her woman s mag column so no doubt she ll share the link in my next post she s so pushy and anyways i m so glad it s not being referenced to in this one one has standards obviously the next link will be a la her or however you say it in french i m a german scholar myself anyways sorry nothing riveting to report in this post although i believe future mailings may be more interesting for instance auntie jennifer she of the eagle eyes and bleeding first class history degree who of course noted muttie s boob and uncle steven are coming to visit next month hoooray they always give me loads of cuddles and strokes and i m hoping they might even bring a few packets of dreamies with them which were noticeably absent on their last visit by the way and the other potentially interesting matter according to muttie is that our household is about to increase by one in three weeks time yours in a curious and rather fretful fashion milt xx posted by milton at 13 55 9 comments labels bannockburn elizabeth1 lochwinnoch rspb monday 24 may 2010 ruffling up some fun life s never easy and in times of extreme adversity one finds it s easier to well go along with things particularly if those things involve one s muttie s bf s offspring insisting you dress up as elizabeth i complete with ruffles for all you non brits out there this was an english red haired protestant queen who had an incredibly long reign as well as an affair with her ghillie the brazen scot john brown oooer and there was a brill film on her reign starring the gorge cate blanchett still one can always turn a blind paw to misdemeanours and look to the future and the future is rosy my friends the muttie one starts a new full time commission tomorrow which means she s out of my whiskers five days a week for the next eight months meeeow i almost don t know what to do with myself altho it will involve a certain amount of bird watching and mousing that s for sure and i ll have the place to myself i wonder if fatboy might want to come over for some tuna i ve kinda missed bashing him while i was staying at paws i ve also heard there s a new dog on the prowl in our back yard i ll have to get my paw down and hopefully fatboy will give me a helping paw or two too in the meantime the muttie one is braying away tonight cos she got a beautiful colourful award from my old buddie max i got the award but the muttie has claimed it apparently we have to answer a series of questions then pass it on so here goes 1 what would your prefect day consist of a bit of tuna for breakfast the muttie one could go tramping around with her camera and a book and i d get peace then we d meet up again and there d be tuna for tea 2 how would you describe yourself if you were an item of clothing something luxurious maybe a faux minx stole 3 what hobbies are you currently working on well mousing is my main one i like to concentrate on this while muttie is doing her quilting and dreaming of getting her bony ass out on her bike 4 walking in the woods in wellies or bare foot on the beach oooh definitely bare pawed 5 have you ever hugged or sung to a tree i ve accomplished the odd recital as for muttie don t even go there remember a cat s hearing is six times as sensitive as that of humankind one tends not to encourage her 6 growing your own veggies or nipping to the supermarket growng my own one has fun gnawing the green bits off carrots 7 have you found anyone exciting in your family tree well there was uncle ignacius who as a republican cat during the spanish civil war brought many a nationalist mouse to its knees 8 slap up meal in a posh restaurant or fish n chips from the wrapper oooh def fish n chips 9 which element do you most resonate with earth air fire or water fire baby 10 do you believe in fairies i do of the whiskers variety and one that ll hopefully rescue me from muttie now apparently i have to pass this along to five of my cattie pals she s great and i ve learned so much from her ten lives second chances ok we re talking canine s here but he s a buddy terrierabouttown he s one of ours but has his own identity four furry friends muttie and me love lucky sillylupie muttie thinks this lady is as cool as a cat snifflesandsmiles miltonian xx posted by milton at 15 53 19 comments thursday 20 may 2010 a shellfish tale this is a scintillating side on profile pic as you can you see for yourself but regardless er can i just apologise to all you adoring legions of fans out there i haven t been able to blog recently cos the muttie one has been selfishly bashing away at the keyboard non stop having obtained for herself a wee commission or two journalism not fiction so don t get too excited still it means loads more dreamies for me hee hee this is a yummy kitty treat manufactured by mars now this is the second time i ve mentioned mars and the reason for that is being a smart kitty i m looking at the possibilities offered by product placement here hello 21st century i m going to send mars my two blog entries in which they re mentioned and ask if i can become an ambassador for them and hopefully they ll say yes milt we d sooo love to have you on board they d talk like that cos they re probably american all the big corps are and please take these 30 free packets of dreamies with our compliments as a token of our initial appreciation that way i wouldn t be reliant on muttie and could quite easily fend for myself this opens up all sorts of possibilities ie like me leaving home maybe getting my own place with furry furniture enjoying a foreign holiday twice a year boy are those french felines tres sexy it d maybe even result in me being able to afford that wee sparkly bling collar i spotted in cats r cute the other day actually the possibilities as i m sure you realise are endless of course it d also give me some bargaining power with muttie along the lines of me insisting tuna should be served every alternate day rather than just every friday independence is a great thing the other thing i wanted to mention in this blog is my r e s p e c t for cousin jenna i love jenna she s eight and so cute and smart the other day there she d been to the beach and collected a big bag of shells she d brought them to gran s home where she spends a lot of her days after school she wanted to clean them up count em then paint them in all sorts of gaudy rainbow colours ok said a reluctant extreeemely houseproud gran now let s organise this i ll fill the basin with hot water you wipe them then put them on the stainless steel draining board to let them dry later you can paint them cool says the jenster so gran retires to the sitting room with a cup of coffee and her mag leaving jenna to her own devices an hour later grandpa goes into the kitchen to see how the jenster s doing he immediately returns to the sitting room and alerts gran er i think you d better go through and have a look he says in a rather undecided manner gran throws down her mag and enters the kitchen only to see every single surface of her immaculate sanitised haven covered in shells in fact it was even quite difficult to open the door wow 305 shells gran who d have thought the jenster proudly announces who indeed not gran i d readily surmise i only wish i d been there to see the horrified look on muttie s maw s face hee hee milt the mean advertising man er kitty xx posted by milton at 12 02 12 comments monday 10 may 2010 kopywrite konfusion the muttie woman is really getting on my nerves like she s been commissioned to write a column for an online mag and she s stealing all my best blunders er lines to put on there we re at this crisis point it seems so i ve said to her all my stuff is copyright ie whatever i do whatever i meeow whatever it seems like i m thinking it s prone to legalese she s not happy about it obviously as she s such a boring individual herself it is moi who gives her inspiration she claims she ll be able to write a column minus my intervention i doubt it i mean this is what she came up with http pinkvox com index php old reflection 47 95 folks i rest my kittie kase your milt always xxx posted by milton at 12 57 17 comments friday 7 may 2010 mountains and mediation what a lonesome week it s been the skinny ass d one has hardly been home on monday she and paw went tramping up a mountain in an effort to reduce the circumference of paw s gut so his trousers won t cut into him when he s sitting at his desk at work he s a teacher for goodness sake shouldn t he be poised chalk in hand in front of the blackboard er whiteboard most of the time anyways the lumpy structure they ascended is around 2 900ft high and called ben arthur but everyone refers to it as the cobbler because of its shape ie on the far right of its peak apparently you can see the cobbler in the middle is his last and on the left is the wife supposedly nagging him to work faster he must be related to paw for once in scotland the sun was shining and it showed just how pretty our wee country can be halfway up the cobbler the parental combo encountered some snow and muttie just couldn t resist the opportunity to pummel paw sigh the day before they d gone for a walk to eggie park near paw s place where they encountered a medieval bandstand thankfully paw didn t have his g eetar with him and peace reigned for the entire afternoon but hey there s no piccies of me so far in this post what was i thinking you lot must be so bored viewing all those scenic shots so anyways this is my favourite place to sit in muttie s kitchen and means i can watch what fatboy s up to without too much difficulty there s been a big ginger tom hanging around our place for a few days now or at least it was until i returned for the past two months now i ve been spending two weeks at paw s house then two weeks at muttie s i wish the great female procastinater would just get organised and move into paw s for good he s dreading it of course cos she tends to be rather messy and she also has plans to modern...