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Text of the page (random words):
m i s t x d i l z m i s t x d i l z simple yet complicated the absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw her says welcome to my saccharine sanctuary that s filled with eloquent silence and entangled take a sereptious look into my clandestine life this blog is mine reading it does not make you any wiser neither does it make you any smarter i appreciate your time dropping by but if you find what i wrote offended you im sorry i dun think you shld stay coz what i wrote in here are just my honest says thanks established since 28 january love qoutes follow dilameen at http twitter com follow meendila at http twitter com credits diah mastura 23rd monday november 07 2011 all around me i have these reminders these positive thoughts from so many good people and all i need to do is simply pause look around and i ll find a reason to smile and be happy for the most part almost all of us have these at any given time friends and family who cheer for us who love us and wish us well we sometimes forget about them in the scramble and busy ness of the day to day they re there those reasons to be happy those people who care for us it s just not oftentimes easy to remember they re there with much reflection minor fretting moments of fleeting excitement and admittedly a few mild panic attacks my twenty third birthday has passed with relative ease reflections monday december 20 2010 been two months since i last blogged in here many things happened and i have been doing some reflections many sweet things that happened and i smiled each time i think about them and forever shall i treasure them ok even im smiling again thinking about it now madness anyway the months of that enriching experiences was worth it s like i m learning to understand those parts of me which yet to be discovered it s like i m acknowledging my doppelganger to work hand in hand with the other me the yin yang the good and bad a balance of both worlds which resonates an ultimate self control it s like i was given a second chance rose right from the grave to battle it out yet again and fix things which i ve given up on i realized when there s a will there s a way everyone is born great yet it is up to us to exert our potentials vigorously to the fullest commentaries failures are mandatory along the way but what s more important is how we extract the final judgment out of it everything lies back on what we want to grasp on plus life is short so why waste it so for now lets aim for 2011 to be a better year and a year that will be filled with more happiness amin a nice story friday october 22 2010 found this story online and thought it was very nice indeed when i got home that night as my wife served dinner i held her hand and said i ve got something to tell you she sat down and ate quietly again i observed the hurt in her eyes suddenly i didn t know how to open my mouth but i had to let her know what i was thinking i want a divorce i raised the topic calmly she didn t seem to be annoyed by my words instead she asked me softly why i avoided her question this made her angry she threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me you are not a man that night we didn t talk to each other she was weeping i knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but i could hardly give her a satisfactory answer she had lost my heart to jane i didn t love her anymore i just pitied her with a deep sense of guilt i drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house our car and 30 stake of my company she glanced at it and then tore it into pieces the woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger i felt sorry for her wasted time resources and energy but i could not take back what i had said for i loved jane so dearly finally she cried loudly in front of me which was what i had expected to see to me her cry was actually a kind of release the idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now the next day i came back home very late and found her writing something at the table i didn t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because i was tired after an eventful day with jane when i woke up she was still there at the table writing i just did not care so i turned over and was asleep again in the morning she presented her divorce conditions she didn t want anything from me but needed a month s notice before the divorce she requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible her reasons were simple our son had his exams in a month s time and she didn t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage this was agreeable to me but she had something more she asked me to recall how i had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day she requested that every day for the month s duration i carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning i thought she was going crazy just to make our last days together bearable i accepted her odd request i told jane about my wife s divorce conditions she laughed loudly and thought it was absurd no matter what tricks she applies she has to face the divorce she said scornfully my wife and i hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed so when i carried her out on the first day we both appeared clumsy our son clapped behind us daddy is holding mommy in his arms his words brought me a sense of pain from the bedroom to the sitting room then to the door i walked over ten meters with her in my arms she closed her eyes and said softly don t tell our son about the divorce i nodded feeling somewhat upset i put her down outside the door she went to wait for the bus to work i drove alone to the office on the second day both of us acted much more easily she leaned on my chest i could smell the fragrance of her blouse i realized that i hadn t looked at this woman carefully for a long time i realized she was not young any more there were fine wrinkles on her face her hair was graying our marriage had taken its toll on her for a minute i wondered what i had done to her on the fourth day when i lifted her up i felt a sense of intimacy returning this was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me on the fifth and sixth day i realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again i didn t tell jane about this it became easier to carry her as the month slipped by perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger she was choosing what to wear one morning she tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one then she sighed all my dresses have grown bigger i suddenly realized that she had grown so thin that was the reason why i could carry her more easily suddenly it hit me she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart subconsciously i reached out and touched her head our son came in at the moment and said dad it s time to carry mom out to him seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life my wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly i turned my face away because i was afraid i might change my mind at this last minute i then held her in my arms walking from the bedroom through the sitting room to the hallway her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally i held her body tightly it was just like our wedding day but her much lighter weight made me sad on the last day when i held her in my arms i could hardly move a step our son had gone to school i held her tightly and said i hadn t noticed that our life lacked intimacy i drove to office jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door i was afraid any delay would make me change my mind i walked upstairs jane opened the door and i said to her sorry jane i do not want the divorce anymore she looked at me astonished and then touched my forehead do you have a fever she said i moved her hand off my head sorry jane i said i won t divorce my marriage life was boring probably because she and i didn t value the details of our lives not because we didn t love each other anymore now i realize that since i carried her into my home on our wedding day i am supposed to hold her until death do us apart jane seemed to suddenly wake up she gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears i walked downstairs and drove away at the floral shop on the way i ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife the salesgirl asked me what to write on the card i smiled and wrote i ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart that evening i arrived home flowers in my hands a smile on my face i run up stairs only to find my wife in the bed dead my wife had been fighting cancer for months and i was so busy with jane to even notice she knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son in case we push thru with the divorce at least in the eyes of our son i m a loving husband the small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship it is not the mansion the car property the money in the bank these create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves so find time to be your spouse s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy do have a real happy marriage many of life s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up perfect purple thursday october 14 2010 i saw this on the net recently and i almost fell in love with it them i am not a watch person but because both are purple and look too nice i cant resist them it would be a perfect 6 years gift right dear hahaha either one of this would be perfect to have winks saturday october 09 2010 reality struck me and i wondered where have i been i don t praise a guy just because he is my partner cause i dont believe in those sweet talks and too much praises simply because we never want that to be the reason why we fall in love in short i have realised it many moons ago but i never told him nor praised him for his heart made of gold at least i did make efforts to thank him through sms or giving him small surprises this boy he has a heart of gold i never think i ll be like him no wonder everyone adores him so much whenever anyone is in trouble or need help you can count on him for he ll be there whenever anyone is short of cash he will be treating them and never ask for the cash back whenever he does his photoshoot for his clients he usually gives them additional items and at times i do grumble for he is ever too nice attitude but what to do didnt i say his heart is made of gold or perhaps he takes after his parents and for that thank you love im always thankful for having you