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Text of the page (random words):
dishes for just the two of you including one with several small roast chickens do not make the foolish assumption that this is the main course pace yourself when you have assured your host that you have eaten all that you can manage from what is before you he will remove many dishes however he will return and replace them with an even larger selection of larger dishes carry on eating aren t you glad you are lying down it allows the stomach to distend more easily when you have eventually finished nb if you are the bellybuster champion at your local restaurant s all you can eat prime rib night don t try and eat everything they will only bring out more so that you won t leave hungry you get up as best you can and repair to the room you originally started out in where miraculously fresh coffee will have appeared resume the horizontal once more more guy talk there will be more sounds of rustling from next door as the evening draws to a close husband will leave you and return from the back room with your wife say your farewells put your shoes on waft the incense and out you go your wife will then inform you that your host also has a wife who did all the cooking and laid out and removed plates for the menfolk not to mention coffee as well as doing the same for herself and your wife and you thought it was just a miracle there is a slight variation to this routine if the guests are male relatives of the husband in that case the wife may emerge to pour coffee but she will have a cloth draped over her head rather like the cloth you would cover your parrot cage with to shut it up not that she s going to say anything of course she will just pour the coffee the cloth is thin enough to allow her to see the spout and the cups without curious male relatives being able to see her face the main point of that etiquette guide was just to show how little the typical saudi wife is able to get out and about in her own house when the men are around never mind get out and about in society at large if you re going to be confined to a backroom or under a parrot cloth how the hell are you going to go out and organize a social revolution i wish to god i knew the answer apart from collectively battering the men of saudi arabia over the head with a blunt instrument first the womenfolk need to get their attention as every woman knows there are two ways to get a man s attention 1 switch off the tv when his favorite sport is on 2 deny him his conjugal rights the advantage of the second one is that it does not involve going out into the street waving banners it can be done from the comfort of one s own home also it does not break any criminal law carried out resolutely it can be unbelievably effective ask the women of ancient sparta boeotia and corinth other societies where women did not have a voice in aristophenes play lysistrata the women encouraged by the heroine of that name went on strike in order to end the peloponnesian war here s some of the dialog it is a bit fruity the ancient greeks didn t go in for nuance or euphemism lysistrata we will all swear at once put your hands on the cup everyone and repeat after me i shall not go near my husband or my lover all i will not go near my husband or my lover lysistrata speak up no matter how big a hard on he has all no matter how big a hard on he has lysistrata i will be completely celibate all i will be completely celibate lysistrata and wear nothing but seductive clothing all and wear nothing but seductive clothing lysistrata and get my husband as horny as possible all and get my husband as horny as possible lysistrata but i will never willingly give in to him all but i will never willingly give in to him lysistrata no matter how he pressures me all no matter how he pressures me lysistrata and if he tries to force me all and if he tries to force me lystrata i will not do the thing where i put my legs up over his head all i will not do the thing where i put my legs up over his head lysistrata nor will i pretend to be a lioness he has caught in the forest all nor will i pretend to be a lioness he has caught in the forest lysistrata if i keep my oath let my cup be filled with nothing but wine all if i keep my oath let my cup be filled with nothing but wine lysistrata and if i break it let it be filled with nothing but water all and if i break it let it be filled with nothing but water lysistrata do you all solemnly swear this oath all we do there s my suggestion for what it s worth will it be the start of the great saudi sexual strike of 2006 1427 if anyone has any alternative suggestion please leave it in the comments also any advice on how to do the pretend to be a lioness he caught in the forest thing posted by alhamedi 8 57 am monday may 29 2006 not this time i m not going to be conned like many blogs i fell for the iranian color coding the infidels story and its subsequent retraction and duly ate humble pie i managed to steer clear of the two saudis on the school bus story because for me it didn t ring true as some sort of dastardly crime and this one is definitely someone trying to stir up trouble and give the muslim offense level a real boost ready for the soccer jihad it appears that this is some kind of world cup soccer ball with the flags of the various participating nations including saudi arabia so what well as you can see the saudi flag prominently features the shahada the islamic profession of faith there is no god but allah and muhammad is his messenger and people are going to kick that nice try guys except this is nothing to do with the 2006 world cup it looks like the tacky product of some back street third world sweat shop factory and the reason it has nothing to do with the world cup the flags of northern ireland and israel they are not in the world cup israel maybe next time but come on northern ireland have about as much chance of ever qualifying as the imam university team as the post goes on this one could rival the cartoon jihad but of course it is never possible to guess about what will be chosen as the next pretext to stoke the sense of grievance and rage that the jihadists need to garner support and recruits well i ll be the first to point to and make fun of contrived islamic outrage but let s concentrate on the real cases bloggers not try and stir up trouble with some tacky fabricated story about a tacky soccer ball update 30th may 2006 apologies to all probably the vast majority who are not soccer fans but with the world cup looming the temptation of writing about soccer exceeds even that of mme nicotine the next month could get really boring now might be the time to take that cryogenic vacation you always promised yourself anyway thanks to uwe the religious policeman s soccer correspondent in germany here is a photo of the official saudi team coach complete with the green hawks cannot be stopped slogan posted by alhamedi 11 44 am saturday may 27 2006 my first love we never forget our first love i was reminded of that on a day when the saudi press is relatively quiet not a lot happening nothing to tremble the muslim offense level meter not even an unctious story about thirty royal hangers on saying farewell to the king as he is driven all the fifty miles from makkah to jeddah with a bag of candy and his favorite comic then this story caught my eye with attitudes changing companies prefer to hire nonsmokers work attitudes are seemingly shifting in the kingdom with many companies that previously sought competencies in english and computer literacy preferring nonsmoking workers over smokers according to a report published by asharq al awsat newspaper job seekers need to brace themselves in ticking the nonsmoking boxes in job applications i had also got an email from thess who had been kindly doing some research into why snuff may be haram she had found this ruling islamic ruling on smoking it has become abundantly clear that sooner or later smoking in whichever form and by whichever means causes extensive health and financial damage to smokers it is also the cause of a variety of diseases consequently and on this evidence alone smoking would be forbidden and should in no way be practiced by muslims furthermore the obligation to preserve one s health and wealth as well as that of society as a whole and medical evidence now available on the dangers of smoking further support this view not snuff of course but near enough and my mind started to drift away as it can do at the weekend to a distant time when i was much younger to a time when as the craig douglas song should have said i was only sixteen only sixteen i loved her so but i was too young to fall in love and she was too old i know so who was she and why was this love forbidden for one of my tender years let us begin with her title definitely not miss because she had been round the track a few times and then some not mrs because that conjures up notions of domestic responsibility definitely not her and ms always brings to my mind ambitious female accountants in power suits no we have to travel abroad apologies to all respectably married francophones out there but for the rest of us this title is synonymous with gallic naughtiness madame but madame who i was first introduced to madame nicotine by a schoolfriend as i said she put herself about and for a sixteen year old in search of excitement and experience she seemed to be the answer to my adolescent prayers i remember the first time as though it were only yesterday it took place in a dark and secluded corner of course but i will never forget the excitement as she first brushed my lips her taste as she entered my mouth and then afterwards the exhilaration the guilt the nausea i decided there and then that this was a dangerous lady once was enough no more and so it was for a few weeks then we met again and i succumbed again but no problem i thought to myself i can take her or leave her so i left her but some weeks later i took her once more and so it went on and each time she grew on me just a little bit more less nausea more excitement more satisfaction until the day came that i realized we were inseparable we were meant for each other and i was her willing slave i began to spend more and more on her because she didn t come cheap parents would warn me against her say she was bad for me but i didn t care i would flaunt our relationship deliberately parade her in public as a student i would often spend money on her instead of food because when i was with her i no longer felt hunger she became a part of my every waking moment i left college and started earning money which of course i spent on her we couldn t get enough of each other we would consummate our relationship twenty times a day sometimes it would be eager greedy i would snatch gratification from her selfishly other times it would be gentle relaxed we would luxuriate in the quiet enjoyment of each other often though i would just take her for granted my hand reaching out for her unconsciously taking her while my mind was on other things but she didn t mind as long as i kept spoiling her with my money when i married she became part of a ménage à trois i felt guilty of course that she was taking money that should have gone into the marriage into the home when our children arrived i was even more guilty suspecting that she might harm them we confined our meetings to the garage the garden furtive once more who would want their own children to fall for mme nicotine s charms when they grew up many times i tried to give her up i told her so she just laughed in my face she knew my weaknesses only too well and of course i couldn t live without her before long i would come crawling back she always took me back for sure but not without making me feel inadequate humiliated she always knew how to humiliate me how many times discovering late at night that she was no longer there did i wander the streets searching for a place where i might find her or being somewhere where she was not allowed how often did she entice me outside for a quick and sordid liason in the pouring rain finally i decided enough is enough she was bad for my health bad for my pocket her scent covered me and told of our shameful relationship to the world at large i announced to her that we were finished how did she react just like that scene in fatal attraction where glenn close says that s alright with me if you want us to split up we ve had our fun you more than me but now your wife deserves to have you all the time don t worry about me i ll be fine on my own it ll be a good chance to learn cross stitch give my love to the rabbits as if hell hath no fury cruella de ville on steroids you ll never leave me she spat out in rage you are weak and puny and have no will power at all you won t believe how much i ll make you suffer she was right those first few weeks were a living hell i don t know what stopped me going back to her in desperation i flung myself into the arms of miss mint she was a sweet thing sure enough and for a few brief moments she could take my mind off mme nicotine but she didn t have the personality the depth or the sheer naughtiness of my former lover to make it a lasting relationship and i think she always knew that that when she had served my selfish needs i would throw her away like a candy wrapper into a trash can men are like that but she fulfilled her purpose and finally i was free that was a while ago time has been hard on mme nicotine once the companion of royalty and film stars she is no longer welcome in her former haunts at the movies or around the dinner table time has also altered my memories and i just remember her as dirty smelly her hand forever in my wallet occasionally i see her again in the distance in a cafe or bar and she gives me a look of sad reproach for a very brief moment i remember our good times together that first time she brushed my lips i sometimes agree with mme nicotine s fellow countryman marcel proust when he said there is no man however wise who has not at some period of his youth said things or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly if he could expunge it from his memory but then if we expunge the memory of our first love what else is worth remembering posted by alhamedi 3 17 am thursday may 25 2006 you re safe with me i m a policeman maybe just maybe there is a glimmer of light on the horizon maybe our modernizing father figure has had a little word in the shell like of baby brother prince nasty nayif minister of the interior prince naif curbs power of virtue commission interior minister prince naif yesterday curbed the powers of the commission for the promotion of virtue and prevention of vice in handling issues such as harassment of women such cases have now been brought under the commission for investigation and general prosecution the saudi press agency said so what does that mean the role of the virtue commission will be restricted to ar...