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t when vaccines were new the bad guys viruses weren t prepared for the onslaught the vaccine anti bodies modified into injectables from natural antibodies fought off the unsuspecting viral invaders now the viruses have learned to change their structures adjusting themselves enough so that last year s body defense won t work against this year s virus so guess what you need another shot and yet another one every year and what happens instead of the body learning on its own to fight the invaders we have to teach it to do it or worse do it from the outside chemically again and again my only sport in junior and senior high school was judo my father wanted me to do some normal sports but i was spazzy and the last one to get chosen for any normal gym team i wanted to do a sport that was only me on one side and one enemy on the other side judo was it besides the general idea of the sport is little guys using the strength and weight of the big guys against those self same big guys kind of like viruses making anti bodies to match themselves my theory is that kids are closer to nature than adults kids have an instinct that adults spend years on destroying kids bodies would be exposed to thousands of viruses building up an immune system that allowed early european immigrants to america to avoid the same diseases they passed on to the american indians those bugs from europe the immigrants had but defeated through their own anti bodies the indians were never exposed and had no anti bodies to fight with kids are naturally attracted to dirt if a little kid sees a mud puddle she ll jump in parents will shout no dirty scaring the kid from the source of so many powerful immunostimulants when i was a child we had a 30 second rule if my sister or i dropped some food on the floor as long a s we quickly picked it up we could eat it this was mainly for fruit nuts and other stuff that doesn t change shape when dropped i don t remember eating ice cream or spaghetti that had been in contact with the floor but there s plenty more than that i don t remember i googled 30 second rule to check if that s still the case for most american families google told me that the rule had been shortened to a 5 second rule but wait that s not enough several health related websites said all such rules were bogus like this one they said even a little touch of food to the floor or heavens to betsy a picnic apple falls on the ground you shouldn t eat it at all ewwwww cooties one of the greatest evils of the modern world is delivery door dash instacart you know what i mean not only do those services increase isolation have the joy of a restaurant without the annoyance of other people but they weaken immune systems eating and drinking with other people exposes your body to all those things that build immunity the people at the next table the waiter who just picked up the dirty dishes from the people at the next table the menus handled by who know who some restaurants these days have qr codes instead of menus just point your phone and click saving all those those cooties my apartment building is 2 minutes away walking from a deli 3 minutes away from a chipotle 5 minutes away from two different poke bowl restaurants and ten minutes away from chinatown yet every day i see delivery guys coming into the building with bags of food for the tenants what the fuck i used to think that it came from laziness oh it s so much work taking that elevator to the first floor and actually walking out of the building but now i think it s cootiephobia people are happier in isolation or with one special person to share with it s safer that way no cooties and then there s us i m talkin about us old punk rockers i m talkin about 20 years with a guitar player like the guy in spinal tap you know the one who turns up to eleven the wheelchair bound get curb cuts to make it easier to roll across the street blind people get sidewalk bumps to tell them where the curb cuts are but we hearing damaged don t get shit well there are captions on the news programs if you have the right kind of tv but they don t work right they re always behind the speaker never catching up to his speed even with a break for commercials so what the fuck do you think it s like for us to listen to someone talking through a mask alstabibble stapsudi sap minglaku i get it you re scared of some bug flying on the magic carpet of someone s saliva flakes but you think those masks will keep you bug free the only people they actually help are street criminals who now feel free to be masked without anyone looking twice you re too young to remember the lone ranger he was a masked cowboy who was a good guy he wore a mask over his eyes yes there were slits cut out so he could see where he was riding the horse named silver i look out my window onto lower broadway i see old factory buildings now housing rich people artists and on the ground floor level nike and adidas face to face across the street the nike store just opened there is a line of people waiting to get in and spend their money note i don t know about other cities but here in the city for the last decade it has become fashionable to wait in line to buy something clothes ice cream sneakers any kind of shit there are scores of people mostly those 20 something females forming a line from the door around the block at first it seems like this is a rebellion against cootiephobia a taunting to prove to people i am not afraid a closer look however will show you that s wrong the people on line that s what we say in new york not in line don t talk to each other don t move up so patty s front touches brittney s back they space people who know each other make little circles in the line using their bodies to fence off their group from the pry of a stranger as the line moves up the groups move together keeping their distance from the next person or group that might breathe on them no few of the waiting people wear masks and i m happy to see that but they don t talk to strangers and they never touch as strolling people walk past the lines the line standers squeeze themselves against the store windows to get away as best they can and what about porn the ones where the naked extras don t want their parents to recognize them do they digitally block the mouths of the guys and gals you bet your hard on they don t they block the eyes a rectangle just under the forehead if they blocked the mouth you wouldn t be able to see them moan but porn sites themselves are bitten by the cootiephobia bug how many scat videos do you find on xnxx how much ass licking do you see on real turd flecked asses rather than baby wiped every sphincter visible brown holes as you read this do you stop to pick your nose do you transfer the errant snot hardened booger to your mouth like any kid would naturally do of course not ewwww cooties see you in hell mykel board endnotes you can contact me on facebook or by email at mykelboard gmail com through the post office send those er dvds or music or zines or anything else legal only to mykel board pob 137 new york ny 10012 0003 if you like my writing you can be notified when anything new is available send me an email with subscribe to the blog in the subject line back blogs and columns are at https mykelsblog blogspot com political contest of the year dept ok you got a contest that makes the world smile two politicians fighting to be mayor of an obscure french village one is charles hittler the other is antoine renault zielenskii you can make this stuff up but i didn t check out the details here cootiephobia on tv dept i guess monk was the tv show that was most concerned with cootiephobia before becoming commonplace it was considered a kind of ob s essive compulsive disorder i found an on line meme that casts doubt on that disease as being useful for a detective i m ocd about cleaning up there s never any dirty dishes in the sink the floors are spotless all the surfaces are wiped down i even do this if i m visiting somewhere if i see a fingerprint or a footprint i just have to take care of it it makes me a great roommate but a terrible crime scene investigator what bugs me is that it s not a disorder anymore but a way of life at least in the us the cost of cootiephobia dept besides the isolation caused by coodiephobia there is real har m done especially to kids here you can read about the epidemic of children suffering eye burns from hand sanitizer use you know spread it on get itchy eyes rub those eyes factcheck checks facts dept the fact checking site called fact check has published a report that says basically yes vaccines can give you nasty side effects but they re still okay among their notes are findings on adem the autoimmune neurological condition linked to first doses of the moderna and astrazeneca vaccines adem involves inflammation of the brain and spinal cord arising most often in children following an infectious illness it has a sudden onset with a full recovery in many although not all cases after the first dose of the moderna vaccine researchers observed seven adem cases when they expected two it primarily affects children and can lead to symptoms such as headache confusion weakness and vision problems you can read all their findings here still scary dept on an unrelated topic the magazine jacobin has a great article on the rise of the american right wing without jesus i s well written seems authentic but scary as hell you can read it here see you in hell redux mb links a few new ones this time note a ton of computer problems if you sent me a link and i didn t use it that s why try again and be brutal with me my pal matt shehan says you can link to my website www matthewsheahan com or my substack https politenewyorker substack com matt is a great musician and very funny guy my kenyan pal albert melody shares a facebook adventure in one of those great kenyan national parks guess who he shared the adventure with you can read about it here albert also has a blog at albertomelody blogspot com teddy labato has a lo fi noise link to his band check it out it s about time dept finally a book about hungarian punk put out by puke and vomit records great scene there and i was glad to have contact with bands like der trottel and tizedesz glad to have been a very small part of that scene here are some other contacts to make teddy lobato s band can be found at https www facebook com thebassmanspsychedelicnoise karl de winton sent me a link to his bandcamp dj stuff https share google 5stnxjgmkfbiwqvza nsfw but that depends on your job dan hetrick asked me how bout us punk rawk programmers and offers http merk chat free chat for the people i ve talked about bob cutler before but he has more to offer than dystopeka https chrometuna com https theklusterfux com riot division makes its musical offering at https www facebook com riotdivision barstool revolution zine is on facebook at https www facebook com people barstool revolution zine 61557909822199 rina borei shows off her inflatable octopus on instagram oona frost jim testa a long time friend journalist editor musician and wordsmith has an interesting substack about music and more you can find it here sid yiddish sent me this link to all his videos it s a great place to start especially if you don t know him i did a nice interview with the aither zine interesting questions complete and questions i ve never been asked before you can read it here it s a good one here s ricardo wang with a micro label in seattle specializing in 8 track tapes and cds wow check out one of their label staples the dead air fresheners best band name of the year also on bandcamp my very long time faves in nyc the blackout shoppers featuring pals seth and possibly the next vice president of the us sid yiddish has posted a video of a show done for wzrd in chicago great live performances and if you catch the video around the 20 minute point you might see a familiar face doing the lyrics to his songs some unrecorded as poetry you ll find it here and this sounds right up sid s alley the bilderberg jazz arkestra on bandcamp eric grayson has an online music review zine sobriquet full pictures of the sleeves too something missing from too many zines sometimes you can judge a er book by its cover steen thomsen is a dane i ve known ever since lincoln was shot i put his band the zero point on the great world class punk cassette for roir it must be worth a mint now i don t have any left i m afraid you can and should connect to the zero point on facebook tell em mykel s blog sent you sorry dorothy we are still in kansas and it s as weird as oz check out bob cutler s distopeka you already know murder mayhem zine those guys who did the mykel board centerfold no genitals shown and probably for the better their online version is here the clean boys from denmark are also longtime friends of mine in denmark we recorded as the bend over boys only one 10 inch available but at least now i can say i have a 10 incher finally for this month margaret o brien asked me to include the site anti war com they seem to be folks after my own heart i m glad they didn t call it anti defense oh yeah then there s me i have a blog of stuff i ve written mostly from last century you might enjoy it then again you might not it s here let me know if you have a blog or a print zine or a youtube and want to be added to the list you show me yours you ve already seen mine mykelboard gmail com at may 01 2026 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels cooties germs hypochondria nosophobia rfk jr toilet habits vaccines older posts home subscribe to posts atom cootiephobia or mykel s may 2026 blog post cootiephobia or mykel s may 2026 blog column you re still wrong or mykel s may 2026 blog column by mykel board cootiep security or you re still wrong blog post by mykel board you re still wrong or mykel s september 2025 blog column security by mykel board the more data we give the more they take a mrr column 363 never published never submitted note though this column was written before i was fired it was never submitted to mrr you re wrong an irregula fear and sadness in new york and nairobi july 2025 tuesday july 1 2025 fear and sadness in new york and nairobi you re still wrong mykel s ju ly 2025 blog column fear an search this blog home about me mykel board view my complete profile blog archive 2026 6 may 1 cootiephobia or mykel s may 2026 blog post april 1 march 1 february 2 january 1 2025 11 december 1 november 1 october 1 august 1 july 2 may 2 april 1 january 2 2024 12 december 1 november 1 october 1 september 1 july 2 june 1 may 1 march 1 february 2 january 1 2023 11 december 1 november 1 october 1 september 1 july 2 may 2 march 2 january 1 2022 12 november 2 october 1 september 1 august 1 july 1 june 1 may 1 april 1 march 1 february 1 january 1 2021 11 december 1 november 1 october 1 september 1 august 1 july 1 june 1 may 1 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