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t we humans are created with hardship and with every hardship comes ease whether it s work raising kids etc we will be judged on how we deal with it a powerful reminder so i don t get full steam ahead of myself thinking i m better than anyone i m definitely not but again just looking back at all the assignments computer projects and 10 exam paper in 2 semesters passing all was huge huge enough to move me to tears i definitely wouldn t say it was entirely my effort even now i still think my efforts don t worth the marks i got i believe in divine intervention my parents late night prayers asking for whatever is good for their children and he wills it it s already ramadhan tomorrow i think i started this blog some time around ramadhan 5 years ago i ve definitely come a long way all thanks to allah he certainly knows what s best posted by closed note at 11 02 am 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday may 22 2014 23 at times there are no updates on instagram none on twitter the same shared news on facebook hardly on blogs no one texts you nothing yet i kept on scrolling and scrolling and again nothing and i throw myself on my bed thinking of my miserable life thousands of miles from home feeling so messed up ironically couple days ago i blogged about my recitation frankly i haven t read nothing the past two days there you go it s not like you don t know the reason to it but hey get back to it just get up and get back to it while there s still time posted by closed note at 4 18 pm 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday may 15 2014 revelation finally left with juz amma to complete my recitation of the holy qur an in which i started a year ago i m not sure how many times i ve completed reciting but insyaallah i ll be finishing it once tonight and start again tomorrow consistently bi iznillah last time i actually read the qur an with the intention to finish reciting the entire book was when i was 12 which shows how ignorant i ve been the past 13 years i might ve tried but for some reason i could never do it consistently the qur an is the ultimate revelation from god the people of isra el witnessed the splitting of the red sea and walked past it later only to disobey god miracles upon miracles which couldn t be sought with human s intellect were shown by allah throughout the course of human history yet disbelievers still exists what difference does it make between the ignorant people of the past and the people of today who disregard the greatest revelation from allah himself may he grant us all his blessings jzk notetoself posted by closed note at 7 35 am 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest wednesday april 23 2014 letting loose just wanna shake it off real quick 4 years ago i underestimated the ib exams i thought it was spm all over again the guy who thought he was good in physics yet answered βeta particle as a sterilizing agent but still got away with an a i thought partial understanding was enough in fact my whole life i never fully understood anything disillusioning myself that i was going to pass and was even convinced by it my head was busier thinking about celebrating than studies guess i was too carefree always am but life isn t a movie it s not what we always dreamt it to be not without any effort and failing was awful especially when your relatives never stopped bugging and asking lucky enough i still have like 10 friends who don t judge me at the time next week is my final exam 4 papers that kinda determines the outcome of this degree all the efforts the sleepless nights etc it all comes down to this to be honest if i got a job offer by now i wouldn t be too worried about it problem is i don t i m turning 25 later this year and i think i m mature enough to know the difference between fantasy and reality no more delusions the future holds infinite possibilities and i wouldn t constrain it not to myself if you re reading this do make du a for me for my upcoming exams and hopefully we all benefit from it insyaallah posted by closed note at 12 59 pm 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday april 13 2014 a visit great hall christchurch college university of oxford 6 4 2014 as a kid i was fascinated by the harry potter world even had this official hogwarts textbook quidditch through the ages after more than a decade i finally get to see the remnants of hogwarts scattered around the uk but this one to be honest was kind of a let down knowing hogwarts dining hall was actually a recreation of the great hall in the film studios technically means emma watson was never there but it wasn t a big deal those days were long gone i ll tell you one of the many places i wanted to go and i think it s really worth going to holy land jerusalem to masjid al buraq where rasulullah ﷺ tied the buraq during the night journey and the ascension to the heavens i m nowhere close to call myself an alim let alone someone pious but i can read sirah s about it all day it is so overwhelming if you re reading this do make du a for me so that i get to go there someday insyaallah posted by closed note at 5 14 am 1 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday april 12 2014 cold heartless finally after a long hiatus though to be honest i m not in the mood of writing but for the sake of an update i ll put it short my routine really haven t change much the past 7 months except i finally bought a bowl and now i m eating cereals like all the time each day goes by i can t help but to scroll my timeline only to be bored with the same stories of friends and people back home getting married friends who ve started working are slowly getting the hang of it etc maybe coz i m still that jobless and hopeless dude sitting in front of the computer whose only concern is getting a ps4 and i felt like some of the people i kinda care for are slowly keeping a distance i m not blaming anyone it s just that feeling when you let go somebody your heart grows thicker and i think mine s thick enough to be bothered sorry if i treat you ppl like shit and what s worst is that feeling of being so left out in basketball i guess i m really good at nothing eh sigh _ posted by closed note at 9 28 am 1 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday february 17 2014 laughter a genuine laugh is when you re with your buddies acting silly the best laugh this is where i was pretend to laugh is when you bulge into a random group to avoid loneliness try to smile and laugh but your mind is elsewhere although not contented you try to hold them and keep yourself accompanied this is where i am but the ultimate laughter has already been described to us more than 1400 years ago as for the blessed ones their faces will be radiant showing their extreme joy and delight because they know that they have been successful laughing and rejoicing 80 37 38 prayers to allah may all of us be part of these exclusive people this is where i want to be insyaallah posted by closed note at 11 41 am 1 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday february 1 2014 childhood friend we have done so many stupid things growing up together and you call me by the name only my family calls me that s why i always think of you as my brother if you ask me to name one childhood friend that is still a good friend it has got to be this guy congrats shafiq things like this happening makes me feel like i m get more and more lonely haa posted by closed note at 7 19 pm 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday january 20 2014 horizon geophysics is so frustrating the workload is pulling me apart at times made me feel like giving up maybe because i m too concern of getting a job out of this mess or too concern to pass or too concern about my uncertain future every soul will taste death and you will only be given your compensation on the day of resurrection so he who is drawn away from the fire and admitted to paradise has attained and what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion 3 185 take a step back and reflect say my prayers my sacrifice my life and death are all for allah the lord of the universe guide me to the straight path the path of the ones whom you have favored amin posted by closed note at 4 45 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday january 18 2014 shahada i bear witness that there is no god except allah and i bear witness that prophet muhammad pbuh is your messenger posted by closed note at 5 52 pm 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday january 11 2014 realiti usah bercerita hendak menjadi tetamu allah ke tanah suci jika rumah allah berhampiran pun susah untuk pergi usah bercerita hendak menderma ketika bergaji besar jika sedikit dari apa yang ada pun susah untuk keluar usah bercerita untuk mengajar anak al qur an ketika sudah berkeluarga jika untuk diri sendiri pun tiada masa usah bercerita untuk menghunus pedang demi islam jika nafsu sendiri pun tidak terdaya melawan sedarlah insaflah notetoself posted by closed note at 6 34 pm 1 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday january 7 2014 resolution this blog has recapped so many events of my life the joy the happiness the loneliness success and ultimately failures despite what people think of me i will never forget my past that will always bring me back down to earth believe it or not it has been 5 years and all i hope for is all those time haven t gone wasted posted by closed note at 11 35 am 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday december 16 2013 random 2 0 final year math couple months back i don t even know what i m writing the recent kitchen talk was a bugger people were telling me at this age i should ve everything planned unfortunately no for all i care titanfall s coming up in december and i m contemplating whether i should get a wii u to play x anyhow those two are gonna be massive new year naah my mind is way ahead i can t wait for the 27th of january it would be the start of a new term and all the exams and coursework this semester will be over regardless but for now its a struggle people are eurotrip ing and i m here in my room blogging and will be off to the computer cluster in a bit i wanna go to switzerland though a friend told me trout fishing in alps was fun i ve google d it up and it seems like a nice to place for a getaway and that s probably the only place i wanna go while i m in here de ja vu it s coming back at me again posted by closed note at 1 49 pm 1 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday december 7 2013 post bday post i ve sent quite a few people to the airport and i ve always been curious what its like from getting your passport checked boarding the plane etc and now here i am back then people were saying one year is too short it is actually short for such a massive program but not that i care coz i have a pretty contented life back home soon i ll be packing all my stuffs with a boarding pass to go back home will come i don t need to start counting days i only need to keep doing what i m supposed to be doing and i couldn t be any happier to all my friends who recently got married i guess everything will be a lil later for me like how i went abroad when everyone has come back home people would ve eventually settled down by the time if i live long enough to get married i might be up to date with current computing technologies than most average people but when it comes to relationship matters i m somewhat old fashioned but i m up to date with computers i know i said it twice geophysics is just a small step before i could do something bigger for the ummah insyaallah throwback scarborough yorkshire posted by closed note at 3 41 pm 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday november 4 2013 i miss its almost unreal to think of what i ve been through the past month considering who i am a clueless young adult who once never really give so much thought of what s his future is going to be like reminiscing my undergrad days is was all happy even though at times we ve so much to do in certain weeks i could still slot times for basketball gaming lil bit of piano and hang out or i could just wonder around driving aimlessly i miss going out late night with dad i can talk about anything and he never fails to respond he talks to me like i m his friend yet acknowledging me as a kid when i m not in the mood sorry dad i spent so much time on the road listening to nouman ali khan s tafseer on juz amma while driving and i never fail to look up the distant sky trying to connect his powerful words with his creations i miss that moment i miss driving to the library and just being so passionate on getting my homework done i miss driving to the gym for basketball practice and games over the weekend working hard to be better that s what i call living life though at times i wish i have someone i can really share things with but the more i walk the more i see the world the more complicated my thoughts become and the more i find it difficult to find such person who can crack up my brain open what if i decided not come here what if i choose to stay at the bottom where i sank what if i choose not to raise my head up high what if i choose to live the simplest life so long i think i m happy because he has plans for me he knows what i can endure he knows i m capable of something bigger and he wants to give me more that s why he gave me the chance to look at the world i thought i already knew notetoself a glimpse of heaven at ty cerrig north of wales posted by closed note at 12 06 pm 1 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest saturday october 12 2013 far far away every time i open my blog with the promise playing at the back as i browsed through old posts i can almost re live those moments captured in words the urge to write a new one is always there even before i go to bed i wish i could just write something up back then studying abroad was huge yet i screwed up my chance imagine forcing to smile like its all good for god knows how long earlier when i said going abroad is nothing i was in denial i don t wanna lose to myself but it always came down to those sleepless nights where i d just stare at the ceiling and burst to tears reflecting my past now it s all business i just can t think of any other reasons for being here than getting my msc everything that i ve always been dreaming of doing everything that i said was just not enough during undergraduate all the skills that i think i lack the job opportunities and...