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half half tit tat half half tit tat about me name e my first blog focused on me as a closeted gay black male navigating my life during my 30 s part two now finds me in my 40s and now my 50s and beyond as a somewhat out gay male still navigating myself through all the issues thrown my way and as always handling it in true e fashion view my complete profile previous posts moving on dashing date how it is done it is done taken over ain t that the truth ruth yeah i know cruised or profiled 2 you go ricky there is the love 5 profound rambles ego tripping off to the d with a bang catering to mf s tango with murder am i guilty of murder must see blogs the e li ti st archives april 2005 may 2005 june 2005 july 2005 august 2005 september 2005 october 2005 november 2005 december 2005 january 2006 february 2006 march 2006 april 2006 may 2006 june 2006 july 2006 august 2006 september 2006 october 2006 november 2006 december 2006 january 2007 february 2007 march 2007 april 2007 may 2007 june 2007 july 2007 august 2007 september 2007 october 2007 november 2007 december 2007 january 2008 february 2008 march 2008 april 2008 may 2008 june 2008 july 2008 august 2008 september 2008 october 2008 november 2008 december 2008 january 2009 february 2009 march 2009 april 2009 may 2009 june 2009 july 2009 august 2009 september 2009 october 2009 november 2009 december 2009 january 2010 february 2010 march 2010 april 2010 may 2010 june 2010 december 2010 january 2011 october 2011 saturday october 15 2011 moving on this marks my 400th post on here should ve been more than that but my blogging has become sporadic at best despite that i ve realized how important it s been to document what s been going on in my life also today marks my 39th birthday i figured since i m a year away from 40 and this blog was on my life in the 30 s i should start a new one focusing on my ongoing experiences now that i m closer to the big 4 0 visit my new blog hear e goes again again thanks for all those who ve read my blog in the past and made helpful comments labels last post shared by e 11 24 am 1 shared back thursday january 06 2011 dashing date happy 2011 everyone it s been more than two years since i broke up with rock i ve dated here and there and hooked up more times than blanche elizabeth devereaux bed hee on her sluttiest night well it wasn t that frequent and my sex life has mostly been famine but there were times when it rained it poured but i m coming to the point now where i m ready to find boyfriend 2 my limited ways of meeting guys haven t been working i m looking for an alternative method with that said i ve looked into the possibility of a speed dating service the concept is that a group of folks are together in a room and you have anywhere from 1 5 minutes to spend getting to know someone before moving on to the next person at the end of each session you would mark yes if you re interested in that person or no if you re not then at the end of the night all mutual yes pairings would be identified i ve heard of the concept mostly for heterosexual couples and wondered if such a service existed for the homosexually inclined as luck would have it i did find one it s from a company called date and dash the company claims a 90 match success rate but i don t know if they just mean two people mutually saying yes to each other in which case i m sure most folks would have a mutual match initially whether it leads anywhere is a different story i keep having this thought that i ll be told that nobody was interested in me i don t know though i think it should be fun if nothing else it would be a different avenue i haven t tried before so i might sign up the one gay date and dash they have in chicago is on january 21st at a bar on halstead if i do it i ll definitely let everyone know how it goes labels dating rock shared by e 10 15 am 3 shared back wednesday december 29 2010 how it is done hey ladynay thanks for still checking me out even after my six month hiatus lol i was waiting to see if i d get any reaction i m actually off from work today and back in chicago my work life has been hell at the company i ve been vowing to leave since 2006 lol i ve fallen a bit off the gym track and am doing my best to maintain myself though january is near and i may do another cleanse my love life has consisted of hot sex with an occasional fwb who s deep in the closet and a few dates and hookups with other guys nothing significant though i long to find boyfriend 2 maybe 2011 is the year hemingway classic lol now i m going to do something i haven t done in ages give a blow by blow account of an event that recently happened i m referring to my coming out to my parents on the 24th the day started innocently enough fast forward to 12 30pm it s day 3 in detroit at my parents crib my dad s sitting by his laptop playing spider solitaire and listening to the radio my mom s laying on the sofa watching cnn and i m sitting in a chair not far from her at the dining room table texting so i m texting with eugene who s also in detroit visiting his family about his recent high school reunion that he attended of course he s rambling on and on about how everyone there was telling him how young he looks i started strumming to myself the bars to beyonce s ego god i imagine she has a huge one too lol his date for the evening wasn t feeling all the comments from his classmates from what he said my mom sees me texting and asks me with whom i m texting i love my mom but sometimes she s too nosey for her own good and yeah i guess mamas are like that i sighed and told her it wasn t anyone she knew that of course didn t stop my mom she asked me if i was texting a special friend it didn t help that moments before cnn was once again talking about the repeal of the discriminatory military practice of don t ask don t tell that finally received approval from the house and senate and was signed into law by obama i was in shock but only for a moment if i were a more direct person i would ask her what she meant by special friend but i knew exactly what she meant no explanation required i told her no it s not a special friend that wasn t enough of course for my mom she dug deeper and asked me if i was seeing anyone i got up from my seat and told her i wasn t seeing anyone and made a beeline for my bedroom well the guestroom lol a wave of emotions was coming over me i texted about this recent exchange to eugene he asked me what she meant by special friend and then was amazed my mom knew about texting my mom is not into texting or using the computer but obviously she knows when someone s doing it i then told eugene that i would need to tell my parents officially that i m gay but would wait until the day after christmas as to not spoil the holiday eugene asked me what i was going to tell my mom and i said i m going to tell both my parents that i m gay and dating but don t have anyone special the weight of what i was contemplating doing came over me and i started to cry luckily since i was texting eugene he had no idea i was doing so i mourned again the hopes and dreams that my parents may have had of me one day getting married to a girl lol and starting a family i mourned that i didn t have a special guy in my life that i could tell them i was seeing i worried that i would be seen as a failure by my parents my mom came knocking on my door asking me if i was okay i did my best to swallow my tears and told her i was fine i didn t hear her walking away so i went and opened the door she wasn t by my door but was in the back kitchen i walked towards her and she asked me again if i was okay she was looking out the window and not directly at me i was still wiping the tears from my eyes telling her i was fine but i lost it and started crying again she turned around and looked like she was about to cry to but instead she asked if she made me upset asking about any special friends i lied and said no but the tears wouldn t stop i then hugged her and repeatedly said im sorry my mom shooed my apology and had a smile on her face she asked if i had a boyfriend directly and i told her no but yes i m gay she told me that she knew and just wanted me to say it she displayed a strength that was hiding under her parkinson s disease ailment and told me to go to my dad with one hand she touched my hands and the other she wrapped around my waist as we took the longest walk towards the living room with each step i kept thinking it s finally over i hoped my dad s reaction would be as good as my mom s honestly my mom surprised me the most since she s so black and white about things and i imagined she d have a more difficult time about it but on the other hand my parents i m sure had lots of discussions about me in private and likely she s had more than enough time to accept the reality hence her relentless pursuit of the truth she didn t want another moment obviously of knowing but not receiving my confirmation my dad aside from any disappointments that his 1 son his only son was gay i felt would have a better grasp of the situation and come to terms to it sooner as far as personality my dad has done a complete 180 whereas in my childhood he was stern and downright scary my new dad over the years has become friendlier approachable and downright emotional my mom and i reached the living room and she told him that i was crying he turned around looked at me and immediately started crying himself as he told me that they ve known about me and no matter what they still love and care about me they just wanted to know what was going on with me since i never talk about my love life and the last girl i bought over to the house was in 2001 he was still crying and i went up and hugged him then he started talking about his own experiences about how folks at our church actually thought he was gay since he hadn t seriously been seeing any women prior to my mom but he told me that at the time he knew that he ultimately wanted to marry a woman from the caribbean similar to himself which is exactly what he did i recounted the teasing i had gotten growing up sans my molestation story he rambled a bit more but i heard all i needed to hear when he said that they still loved and cared about me and then it was over we later went back to our normal routines and my fear of christmas being ruined didn t come to pass my only question now is who ll be the lucky guy that ll get to meet my parents someday labels dating family friends health work shared by e 4 30 pm 3 shared back friday december 24 2010 it is done it officially happened around 1 30pm est the moment i ve been building on for several years now a moment i was nervous as hell about but knew had to happen sooner or later a moment that drove me at one point to write a letter it is done now merry x mas everyone labels family shared by e 4 30 pm 1 shared back wednesday june 30 2010 taken over i never seen this video prior to last night thanks yet again youtube i love me some chante and that s vintage chante at her best shared by e 9 00 am 0 shared back