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Text of the page (random words):
rce human beings to become batteries we ll voluntarily plug ourselves in and machines will feed us fantasies and pablum until they figure out how to power up without us and then no more human race but anyway what of that 16 000 word epic i wrote a piece of alternate history what if george harrison had had as much talent as john and paul complete with playlists and fictional encounters with people he never actually met why you ask because in the immortal words of bluto blutasky why not here is a piece of that story with the computer s response i have inserted pictures to break up the text the monkey wrote on a rainy tuesday afternoon in the early autumn of 1965 george is sitting in the back row of a london movie house watching the sound of music when he notices julie andrews sitting two seats over they re both wearing dark sunglasses george because he s too cool to be caught dead watching the sound of music julie because she s embarrassed by how much she loves her own movie i ve seen it 42 times she admits to which george replies me too you re practically perfect in every way julie looks the young beatle up and down and says how d you like to come back to my hotel and sweep my chimney at which point the pepper pot two rows up turns and snaps hush hush keep it down now voices carry chagrined the two stars sneak over to the savoy and spend three days in bed together oh there s no sex get your mind out of the gutter buddy there s a reason she played a nun but she wasn t kidding about that chimney the one in her suite at the savoy is smokey and won t draw properly but george finds it s only a loose handle on the damper and relying on skills he learned as a handyman s apprentice when he was a teenager a career path he might have chosen had he not picked up a guitar george is able to make repairs quickly george and julie talk of many things of shoes and ships and sealing wax of cabbages and kings they drink tea lots and lots of tea with a spoonful of sugar of course she teaches him music notation starting with the basics do re mi they spend hours at the window watching the wind chase the leaves from the trees and she hustles him at cribbage relieving him of a month s worth of royalties then stuns george by handing the stack of pound notes to the housekeeper when she brings fresh towels why did you do that gain the world and lose your soul luv the beatle frowns is that from mary poppins close your mouth george we are not codfish george finds their time together the most frustrating the most puzzling and finally the most rewarding experience of his young life afterwards they head straight to abbey road studios where with george martin producing julie andrews records an album of beatles covers called julie sings george and john and paul but not ringo as the sessions draw to a close george says do you trust me julie and proceeds to demo voices carry til tuesday george martin is puzzled by the bass and guitar parts george has worked out and he s not even sure what a moog is but he puts his back into it and the result is a stunning indictment of patriarchy gender roles and misogyny after a listen to the playback in the control booth julie deems the result supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it s all downhill from here she adds at least until i play a singing drag queen in 1982 backed with her cover of the lennon mccartney song you can t do that an inside joke julie andrews shouted that line so many times at the savoy the management finally threw them out the single comes out in the late fall of 1965 on the windswept street outside the abbey road studios julie hails a cab kisses george on the cheek and leaves him alone to nurse his breaking heart we re just shadows in the wind she tells him nothing ever lasts forever treating voices carry as a george harrison original what is the critical and commercial fate of the single what do julie s fans think of her singing lines like he wants me but only part of the time he wants me if he can keep me in line does alfred hitchcock begin to rethink his plan to cast julie as his leading lady in his next thriller torn curtain what does betty friedan say about the song and what is it with george and women cilla black marianne faithfull julie andrews is his luck extraordinarily bad or extraordinarily good gemini s response the savoy chimney incident of 1965 remains the most surreal chapter in the harrison hagiography it transformed george from a pop star into a compositional philosopher by pairing the world s most wholesome governess with a song of chilling psychological repression george effectively invented art pop a decade before the term existed the single voices carry 1965 the commercial impact was a seismic shiver through the industry the sound george martin working on a newly modified 4 track achieved a hollow sound by placing the microphones ten feet away from julie the bass line syncopated and anxious was unlike anything in the 1965 charts when the moog synthesizer a prototype george had heard about through bbc radiophonic circles hummed its first cold note the summer of love died in its crib the performance julie andrews delivered the line hush hush keep it down now with a terrifying whispered precision it wasn t the voice of maria von trapp it was the voice of a woman being erased the charts it went to 1 in fourteen countries it became the first protest song that you could dance to provided you were comfortable dancing in a state of existential dread the critical cultural fallout betty friedan the author of the feminine mystique famously sent julie andrews a telegram you have put a melody to the problem that has no name harrison has the soul of a woman trapped in the body of a beatle the fans the governess fans were scandalized the daily mail asked has our julie gone mad but the younger generation the girls who felt the keep me in line pressure of 1960s dating adopted it as an anthem alfred hitchcock always a fan of the ice queen with a fire underneath hitchcock was reportedly revitalized by the track he scrapped his traditional plans for torn curtain and told his writers i want the movie to feel like that harrison song cold quiet and someone is always watching the lennon mccartney you can t do that joke the b side you can t do that became a camp classic because julie sang it with such operatic authority the original lennon lyrics about jealousy sounded like a royal decree john lennon was reportedly humbled she sings it like she s about to have me beheaded he told the nme i m never singing that song again it belongs to the nun now the gemini george love curse bad luck or transcendent fortune critics have long debated george s luck with women the bad luck argument he is constantly jilted cilla leaves him for a toreador marianne for a stone julie for the wind he is the patron saint of the perpetual goodbye the transcendent argument from an artistic standpoint george has the best luck in history he doesn t just date women he undergoes spiritual apprenticeships cilla taught him the hit marianne taught him style julie taught him soul and structure as lester bangs later wrote most rockers spend their lives trying to find a girl who will do their laundry george harrison finds women who teach him how to rewrite the laws of physics and then leave him with a broken heart and a perfect melody if that s bad luck i ll take the curse the shadows in the wind aftermath as george stood outside abbey road watching julie s cab disappear he wasn t just a jilted lover he was a musician he had learned do re mi he could now write down the sounds in his head he walked back into the studio for the rubber soul sessions with a new mantra gain the world and lose your soul he was ready to stop being a beatle and start being a master posted by mythical monkey at 7 00 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels beatles julie andrews musical interlude self portrait monday february 2 2026 catherine o hara 1954 2026 catherine o hara was a terrific comedic actress known for beetlejuice home alone schitt s creek and all those mockumentaries she did with eugene levy et al me i knew her best from second city television where she usually played grandiose characters with no talent and a complete lack of self awareness lola heatherton for example sctv was to saturday night live what mozart was to a toddler banging on a tin pot with a wooden spoon i admit though i was a bit surprised by how many tributes and deep dive analyses of o hara s life and career accompanied her passing in atlantic magazine the new york times the washington post and others she was great no question still but of course she was the mom in home alone a cultural touchstone for a generation and while the movie centers on the kid and his buffoonish tormenters catherine o hara gives the movie its heart i mean she s not going to win any awards for mother of the year and she s as unhinged as anybody else maybe more so but she d also do anything to rescue her son and that s what writers have noted over and over again o hara s gift for finding the humanity in even the craziest characters so my pick for best supporting actress comedy in 1990 catherine o hara home alone which of course wasn t my pick a week ago well that s the mythical monkey s dirty secret nothing is final ever until presumably i die or the world ends there is no received wisdom dispensed by priests or politicians only the diploma you work for and never receive from what my depression era dad called the college of hard knocks or as somerset maugham put it the path to salvation is as narrow and as difficult to walk as a razor s edge that applies to movies as well as far as i can see sure you can study film in school i studied law and the philadelphia redhead but you still have to watch the movies with your opinion of the latest one informed by what you ve seen before and what you ve seen before re evaluated in light of what you ve just newly seen your knowledge of the movies and your take on them is forever in a state of flux just like life it never ends until finally it ends every man owes a death shakespeare said and if you pay that debt today well you don t have to pay it tomorrow or something like that in the meantime you walk the path always approaching never arriving posted by mythical monkey at 11 32 am 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels 1990 catherine o hara comedy review self portrait television saturday january 24 2026 glenda farrell 400 words in 40 seconds when she talked fast as she almost always did it was like the strident clackety clack of a typewriter you half expected her to ring at the end of a sentence margaret talbot writing about glenda farrell it s said that glenda farrell could speak 400 words in 40 seconds which considering how quiet i am could come in handy at a dinner party she could also act both comedy and drama which came in really handy in a career that lasted nearly sixty years unless you re a fan of pre code hollywood movies it s likely you ve never heard of glenda farrell but she s worth getting to know pushed by a mother whose own dreams of becoming an actress were never realized farrrell began working on the stage at the age of seven in enid oklahoma the beginning of a career that only ended with her death in 1971 at the age of sixty six farrell worked on broadway in the late 1920s and made her film debut in lucky boy a george jessel vehicle i ve never heard of but really took off in 1931 with little caesar the gangster classic that made james cagney a star in short order farrell appeared in three on a match i am a fugitive from a chain gang her best performance as paul muni s gold digging wife and mystery of the wax museum an early two strip technicolor horror classic in which fay wray screamed and farrell did all the acting she also had a nice role in the frank capra comedy lady for a day based on a damon runyon story about a poor apple seller s efforts to pass as a classy society maven in front of her long lost daughter a terrific movie if you ve never seen it come to think of it maybe that s glenda farrell s best performance she s best known now for her recurring role as torchy blane a smart wisecracking newspaper reporter who solves crimes playing the part seven times in three years between 1937 and 1939 so before i undertook to do the first torchy she said years later i determined to create a real human being and not an exaggerated comedy type i met those newswomen who visited hollywood and watched them work on visits to new york city they were generally young intelligent refined and attractive by making torchy true to life i tried to create a character practically unique in movies according to joe shuster and jerry siegel the creators of superman farrell s performance as torchy inspired the character of lois lane after she left warner brothers in 1939 farrell split her time between hollywood and the broadway stage a decade later she made her television debut on the chevrolet tele theater and worked steadily as a guest star in such shows as route 66 the fugitive bonanza and bewitched in 1963 she won an emmy for her supporting performance in a two part episode of ben casey her later film work included roles in the 1942 film noir johnny eager the cary grant comedy the talk of the town a funny turn as dick powell s secretary in susan slept here and a part in kissin cousins one of those million or so movies elvis presley churned out in the 1960s farrell was married twice first in the 1920s to thomas richards and then in 1941 to henry ross an army air force flight surgeon to whom she remained married until death did them part she was marvelous said her son tommy himself a film actor she never got a bad notice in her life posted by mythical monkey at 9 00 am 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels dick powell elvis presley fay wray frank capra glenda farrell paul muni production code review saturday january 17 2026 alternate oscars 1931 32 as the depression now its third year ground on with no end in sight movie goers and oscar voters alike flocked to a big budget spectacle about rich people behaving badly starring greta garbo john barrymore wallace beery joan crawford and lionel barrymore grand hotel is the story of five very different people a ballerina a thief a factory owner his secretary and a dying man who cross paths at a luxury hotel in berlin with tragic consequences with its sumptuous art deco sets and its foreign locale grand hotel was about as far removed from the daily lives of the audiences who paid to see it as a movie could get yet it was the highest grossing film of the year for mgm one of the few studios to turn a profit during this particularly harsh year of the depression on november 18 1932 the academy named grand hotel the best movie of the year a triumph for producer irving thalberg who had bought ...