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Text of the page (random words):
the porches of my ears trade paperback ebook lean closer let these stories whisper poison into your ears this debut full length collection from norman prentiss opens with the bram stoker award winning title story where an overheard conversation in a movie theater has unexpected effects on a couple s relationship in other unsettling tales suffer the consequences of an ill timed halloween prank encounter strange creatures in the woods or in an airport waiting room visit an abandoned amusement park or a secluded town of oddly shaped inhabitants confront a sinister murderer who seems to be everywhere at once or meet a man who simply can t be bothered to die the collection concludes with four legs in the morning the first appearance of dr sibley a mysterious college professor who enacts revenge on those who defy or disappoint him and the full text of the stoker winning novella invisible fences prentiss s understated style works excellently for the subject matter there s a creeping menace under many of his stories that worms its way beneath the reader s skin before it can even be noticed weird fiction readers will find a lot to love here publishers weekly the apocalypse a day desk calendar omnibus edition trade paperback 666 pages ebook in this eclectic assortment of flash fiction bram stoker award winner norman prentiss concocts a different end of the world scenario for each calendar day the stories range from humorous to bizarre to unsettling commemorating holiday and observance days new year s or valentine s day national pig day famous birthdays robert frost charles dickens or notable historical events the first computer and the first computer virus the sinking of the titanic or the great chicago fire other daily entries include a riff on the first and only golf game on the moon the milking of elm farm ollie which reinvigorates an in flight publicity stunt by adding apocalyptic results and occasional letters from the sardonic dear apocalypse advice column a handful of longer serialized stories include the hell of food that looks like other food the exterminator s visit and the child who ended the world this massive collection includes all 365 entries from an ambitious yearlong project more than 170 000 words of bleak or humorous vignettes stories serials poems and a few unclassifiable oddities ready to be sampled in small doses just like the pages of those desk calendars you buy for 50 off in february or available all at once for your immediate binge reading pleasure the trade edition includes dozens of illustrations by glenn chadbourne perfectly complementing the horror or gruesome humor as the apocalyptic year unfolds new book haunted attractions with your other father sequel to odd adventures with your other father now available from cemetery dance publications in a trade paperback edition or via amazon as an ebook currently discounted to 99 cents here s the details haunted attractions with your other father other father series book 2 death separates people from each other for a time this follow up to odd adventures with your other father continues jack and shawn s horror fantasy lgbtqa roadtrip chronicling their 1980s visits to out of the way attractions that amplify jack s mind projecting powers a theater where the performance of a classical tragedy leaves a disturbing aftertaste a haunted house that targets a specific type of victim a life size concrete replica of stonehenge that enacts a gender bending transformation to punish a disrespecting visitor and a boardwalk funhouse ride that brings about the end of the world in more ways than one meanwhile in the present day their daughter celia confronts challenges at her summer camp job while shawn arranges visits to his dead lover s spirit in a house he doesn t own the lovers could be reunited permanently if only jack s parents could be coerced into selling their home with this haunted sequel bram stoker award winner norman prentiss offers horror humor and heart in an unforgettable collision of bizarre adventures past and present cover art by lynne hansen new ebook apocalypse a day desk calendar vol 2 only 2 99 keep reading to learn how to get volume 1 for free for a limited time apocalypse a day desk calendar vol 2 only 2 99 in this eclectic assortment of flash fiction bram stoker award winner norman prentiss concocts various end of the world scenarios to match the days of the month volume 2 covers april through june the stories range from humorous to bizarre to unsettling commemorating holiday and observance days april fools day mother s day world turtle day or notable historical events the sinking of the titanic the anniversary of the first accused witch executed in salem this edition also includes a handful of longer serialized stories such as the hell of food that looks like other food and the 6 part boardwalk thrill ride volume 2 includes more than 40 000 words of doomsday fiction ready to be sampled in small doses just like the pages of those desk calendars you buy for 50 off in february or available all at once for your immediate binge reading pleasure to celebrate the publication of vol 2 i m also offering vol 1 of the series for free at amazon for a limited time now through may 8 volume 1 of the apocalypse a day desk calendar jan march offers another 40 000 words of flash fiction including a riff on the first and only golf game on the moon and the milking of elm farm ollie which reinvigorates an in flight publicity stunt by adding apocalyptic results you can also sample different entries by visiting the dedicated apocalypse a day page here on my website http normanprentiss com category apocalypse a day tree work in memory of my father james prentiss my father james prentiss passed away peacefully at his assisted living home yesterday march 28th i fictionalized a version of dad in my first book invisible fences but i d changed things to make it a horror story so the character became less admirable than the real life counterpart as a result i never let my father read that book however much earlier i d written a story that for most of its essential details is an autobiographical account of a summer i spent working with my dad i wrote the story during my sophomore year of college and gave it to dad as a fathers day gift it s not a horror story at all but i think it s the first good story i ever wrote the full text follows below and to keep it honest i ve resisted making editorial changes to the original story written when i was 20 years old tree work dad said his personality changed when he was up in a tree but i didn t see where it was any different he talked louder but that s because he was about 100 feet he d say about 30 meters above your head you want to drive by the chambers mansion he asked me one day sure i said i had no idea we were anywhere near it the beltway looks all alike to me but once he steered the car onto the turnoff i recognized the thin winding road we had traveled so many times last summer they don t pay your father for working twelve months anymore my mother had said whenever i told her i needed money for something because of budget cuts the county had decided to employ teachers for nine months out of the year so you re going to have to do without money for a while like the rest of us i ve got a 179 electric bill to pay and the phone bill i had to have a job but i had filled out applications for all the drug stores in the area and mcdonald s and their summer positions had already been filled i had waited until school was over to start looking i told my parents i wanted to make sure i got good grades and by then the stores had hired everybody it irritated me that mark jones he was always getting his english papers handed back because of sentence fragments and one time he was almost kicked out of school for gambling during lunch period could get a job at drug fair and i couldn t so i ended up doing the same thing my father did during the summer to earn money he did tree work and i was his ground man he said he d pay me three dollars an hour and i wouldn t have to fill out anymore applications not even a work permit most of the work we did was around our neighborhood where we lived they d cut down most of the trees to build the houses so there weren t very many big trees and the work was easy i had to send things up to him in the tree by tying this knot i don t remember how to do it anymore onto one of the ropes hanging down from where he was usually he d yell down for me to send up the little chainsaw that he could use up in the tree it was the same one i got to use on the ground sometimes while dad used the big blue one that i could hardly lift let alone cut wood with but sometimes he would have me send up a pole saw by hooking it into a knot in the rope or sometimes he would just need a regular hand saw and then there was a sticky paint can full of some kind of black tar that he painted on the tree where he d cut a limb off it was impossible to pick up the can without getting gunk all over your hands and it wouldn t wash out too well anything i touched would stick to me i ended up wiping a lot of it onto my pants or t shirt and after he d been up in a tree for a couple of hours dad would call down for something to drink he was never too specific about what he wanted until the one time i sent him up some really sour tasting lemonade that the lady who lived where we were working gave to me in a thermos container after that he always asked for water the hardest part of my job was dragging brush piles away from a tree i had to find some big limb with a lot of branches on it then stack some other limbs and branches on top of it so i could drag a bunch of them away just by pulling the big one on the bottom trouble was i could never stack the piles too well and they always fell apart halfway before i got them where i wanted them and i was always getting my arms scratched up by the branches but i loved the sound of a big tree hitting the ground it shook like an explosion and the tree left a dent in the earth i had to hold a rope tight to make sure the tree would fall in the right direction but one time dad misjudged and this tree crunched up an old wooden fence in mrs henderson s backyard while my father cut it down with the big chainsaw and when the tree fell down this meant the workday was almost over all that was left to do was to cut up the wood the blue chainsaw would growl through the fallen tree on the big sections i would have to hammer in a metal wedge above the cut so dad could saw all the way through to the bottom without the two pieces closing back together and stopping the chainsaw i had to stand right over where he was working and sawdust would fly up in my face and get in my hair then we would pile up the logs into a stack for that family to use in their fireplace i liked doing the work around our neighborhood because there was always somebody around to help me with my job people wanted to watch my father up in the tree but they would have felt silly just looking so they would make themselves useful doesn t he ever fall down they would ask me as they helped drag some brush out of the way nope i said that s what the ropes are for they hold him up there and sometimes i would run into people from school yeah i would them with pride that s my father up in that tree it was funny because whenever there wasn t anybody else around it never seemed like such a big deal just my dad doing a job but with those other people watching and making gasping sounds when he swung from one tree to another it really seemed like something special i would kid with dad that those were the only times when i ever really looked up to him after a job was done dad would tell clients to give me the check the gesture didn t really mean anything mother managed all the money in the end but it was nice anyway i always told dad that he never charged enough other people who didn t do half as good a job charged twice as much charge them more i said and you can pay me what i m worth dad would always laugh at this like he was paying me too much to begin with one time mrs wright gave me the check for my dad s pruning two trees and cutting down a dead one he only charged her fifty dollars i remember dad was standing next to me when i took the check to her it was the first time mrs wright had seen dad on the ground next to me you re almost as tall as your father aren t you she asked me oh he s still got a few centimeters more to grow my father said but i don t think he ll be as tall as i am how tall are you anyway roger she asked me i don t know i said about 180 centimeters my father interrupted i let mrs wright see my eyes roll up to the top of my head here he goes again i thought how much is that mrs wright asked 180 centimeters dad repeated dad s what you might call a metric system militant everything changed towards the end of summer when dad got this job to do a lot of tree work for some rich people before they moved into their new house it was more like a mansion the chambers had decided that their old house was too small so they had a new one built just down the road from it i didn t think it looked that great but it sure was big it had more windows than any house i d ever seen it was three stories high square shaped and made of brick in varying tones of red the front door was white with stained glass church like windows on either side of it they were still building parts of it when we started work and i told dad it was the kind of house that would probably never look finished we worked there every day for almost a month except on sundays and when it was raining hard this was a big change from the way the rest of the summer had gone we had never had any jobs that lasted more than two days and i always had a few days in between jobs to rest up for the next one with this new job i didn t like having to get up early every morning especially to put in such long strenuous hours i found myself looking forward to sundays or hoping that it would be raining in the morning when i woke so i could go back to sleep and at the chambers mansion there wasn t anybody there to help me the only people around were the servants they hardly ever came outside but every once in a while i would catch one of them peeking out of a window or something they always seemed to be looking at the most embarrassing moments like the time my father was yelling at me from up in the tree dad told me to pull on this rope until he said to stop but all the time he was yelling hold i thought he was saying pull and i almost yanked him out of the tree he called me a blooming idiot and a blockhead and i don t remember what else sometimes i wish he would learn to curse like any normal person and when he was finished i turned around ant there were two of those servants peeking through a ground floor window were you trying to kill me he asked when he came down from that big tree to eat lunch he never seemed to...