Meta tags:
description=A place for everyday creativity + life-documenting. There ll be paper, stripes + plenty of tales. And if you laugh along the way then all the better.;

Headings (most frequently used words):

september, 2017, thursday, book, review, the, having, pages, filed, away, 21, 14, tuesday, subscribe, red, ribbon, by, lucy, adlington, how, anxiety, is, like, funfair, goldfish, thrust, upon, you, and, other, stories, letters, page, vol,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (243), you (188), and (167), that (94), for (53), with (47), like (43), they (41), about (41), this (39), can (38), just (33), not (32), #goldfish (32), but (30), anxiety (30), something (29), how (29), who (28), your (27), funfair (27), from (25), there (25), have (23), out (23), #letters (22), are (22), which (22), book (21), know (21), plastic (21), bag (21), all (20), because (20), don (20), what (19), then (19), think (18), them (18), page (16), september (16), someone (16), while (16), now (15), say (15), when (15), was (15), get (14), feel (14), really (14), may (14), red (14), ribbon (14), any (13), well (13), some (13), through (13), people (13), story (13), one (13), having (13), share (12), other (12), own (12), little (12), could (12), things (12), adlington (12), way (11), going (11), their (11), might (11), find (11), will (11), read (11), idea (11), life (11), january (11), february (11), here (10), over (10), yourself (10), into (10), before (10), around (10), december (10), june (10), july (10), october (10), review (9), more (9), his (9), been (9), stories (9), being (9), try (9), lucy (9), history (9), fashion (9), november (9), march (9), april (9), august (9), would (8), thing (8), vol (8), bit (8), time (8), also (8), carry (8), those (8), why (8), stop (8), tell (8), ella (8), her (8), comments (7), via (7), look (7), kind (7), 2017 (7), want (7), mind (7), each (7), inside (7), anyone (7), only (7), anything (7), isn (7), still (7), got (7), were (7), thinking (7), does (7), hold (7), facebook (6), julie (6), its (6), design (6), new (6), reading (6), than (6), work (6), even (6), back (6), copy (6), she (6), right (6), made (6), did (6), didn (6), let (6), adult (6), need (6), happening (6), camp (6), posts (5), journal (5), social (5), end (5), where (5), website (5), published (5), feeling (5), books (5), articles (5), piece (5), much (5), too (5), concentration (5), colour (5), once (5), instagram (5), explain (5), same (5), very (5), fact (5), day (5), first (5), probably (5), always (5), never (5), such (5), today (5), help (5), take (5), situation (5), experiences (5), put (5), suddenly (5), had (5), sure (5), doesn (5), anxious (5), young (5), holocaust (5), home (4), chetty (4), literary (4), online (4), letter (4), media (4), see (4), style (4), details (4), found (4), order (4), perhaps (4), both (4), has (4), though (4), yes (4), entire (4), inspired (4), these (4), name (4), yours (4), better (4), after (4), doing (4), novel (4), making (4), start (4), sent (4), our (4), part (4), until (4), genuine (4), good (4), understand (4), shit (4), struggling (4), ignorant (4), make (4), won (4), best (4), give (4), table (4), real (4), panic (4), experienced (4), wardrobe (4), fairytale (4), narrative (4), list (4), dressmaking (4), atom (3), pinterest (3), blogthis (3), email (3), labels (3), machina (3), plagiarism (3), posted (3), kirk (3), touch (3), homes (3), most (3), maybe (3), further (3), taking (3), variety (3), issue (3), enjoy (3), short (3), hot (3), thought (3), theme (3), discussion (3), rather (3), focus (3), art (3), approach (3), begins (3), several (3), volume (3), different (3), collection (3), particular (3), certainly (3), appreciate (3), yet (3), turning (3), sort (3), exactly (3), happens (3), post (3), eyes (3), wouldn (3), itself (3), soon (3), simply (3), talk (3), submitted (3), mental (3), health (3), analogy (3), chat (3), course (3), else (3), twitter (3), others (3), head (3), defining (3), everyone (3), attention (3), company (3), together (3), ever (3), person (3), themselves (3), ideas (3), actually (3), kill (3), off (3), handle (3), ask (3), wanted (3), fine (3), towards (3), sensation (3), looking (3), support (3), door (3), everything (3), fully (3), non (3), attitude (3), individual (3), current (3), fiction (3), auschwitz (3), christmas (3), events (3), clothes (3), periodic (3), subscribe (2), jon (2), mcgregor (2), darren (2), andrew (2), mcmillan (2), influence (2), although (2), appropriate (2), fresh (2), creative (2), hop (2), turn (2), doormat (2), envelope (2), roll (2), love (2), wide (2), accessible (2), academic (2), magazines (2), takes (2), provoking (2), steal (2), offer (2), explore (2), example (2), existing (2), act (2), music (2), creates (2), especially (2), snippets (2), gives (2), tricky (2), couldn (2), slightly (2), urine (2), mean (2), substantial (2), refreshing (2), curated (2), days (2), backstory (2), single (2), footnotes (2), influenced (2), directly (2), exploring (2), set (2), caless (2), plus (2), blog (2), called (2), project (2), none (2), felt (2), absorbing (2), subject (2), university (2), school (2), special (2), small (2), comes (2), printed (2), object (2), cover (2), reveal (2), paper (2), already (2), contents (2), pages (2), publication (2), link (2), heard (2), submission (2), old (2), mail (2), begin (2), giving (2), particularly (2), lover (2), mine (2), understandably (2), should (2), consideration (2), place (2), full (2), disclosure (2), year (2), enough (2), chilly (2), sit (2), subtle (2), hey (2), mentalhealthblogger (2), anxiousgoldfish (2), hello (2), thanks (2), leave (2), unlike (2), holding (2), useful (2), using (2), please (2), use (2), describing (2), relate (2), orange (2), reckon (2), pass (2), floor (2), control (2), deal (2), last (2), shits (2), kiss (2), forehead (2), vulnerable (2), silly (2), whole (2), business (2), less (2), come (2), carrying (2), remind (2), fault (2), says (2), used (2), feels (2), rational (2), matter (2), whether (2), frightened (2), said (2), loud (2), shove (2), talking (2), getting (2), simple (2), seriously (2), easy (2), job (2), happened (2), heart (2), myself (2), awkward (2), struggle (2), along (2), normal (2), worrying (2), without (2), living (2), sweat (2), prevent (2), event (2), hard (2), experiencing (2), locked (2), left (2), gas (2), window (2), under (2), times (2), thrust (2), upon (2), two (2), upset (2), sometimes (2), trying (2), grab (2), past (2), write (2), consider (2), sharing (2), wobbles (2), workshop (2), away (2), writing (2), thursday (2), key (2), bonnier (2), camps (2), gift (2), esque (2), elements (2), based (2), true (2), darkest (2), heroine (2), category (2), white (2), younger (2), readers (2), atrocities (2), space (2), self (2), ideal (2), rest (2), presentations (2), great (2), war (2), add (2), pretty (2), within (2), light (2), general (2), likes (2), dressmakers (2), learning (2), fictional (2), accounts (2), care (2), gradually (2), talks (2), hare (2), amber (2), tells (2), edmund (2), waal (2), levi (2), sewing (2), role (2), women (2), sister (2), skip (2), older, newer, boook, copying, guess, intelligent, publications, recommend, closer, gracing, arrives, dressed, perfectly, form, fitting, box, brown, impossible, parcel, tape, sight, previous, issues, available, pre, 7th, treat, feed, satisfying, cravings, smart, clever, pleased, absorb, smell, physical, introduction, inclusively, broad, writers, tackled, viewpoints, manageable, occasionally, regular, click, bait, interested, manifesto, similar, ground, covered, interesting, angles, austen, kleon, artist, stayed, longest, thou, shalt, rewarding, starting, scratch, produce, combines, coherent, sampling, hip, folk, borrows, collage, needless, perspective, drawing, chimed, working, him, planning, compose, peoples, tried, delving, point, parts, highbrow, asks, careful, equally, chart, evens, tone, beautifully, digested, breakfast, leisurely, pace, dipped, twice, since, thoroughly, enjoyed, summary, snipped, tales, meets, finds, lost, correspondence, tucked, secondhand, keeping, community, obsessed, possible, behind, hoard, vintage, papers, recently, hashtag, thewhitbypapers, rowena, macdonald, contribution, delete, exact, uses, vowel, univocalism, structural, exercise, acknowledges, oulipo, group, georges, perec, joe, dunthorne, poet, following, father, poetic, footsteps, feature, knows, origin, consists, series, account, borrowed, documenting, carpets, wetherspoon, pubs, tumblr, considers, nature, copyright, age, multi, platforms, expect, across, platform, claim, alone, kit, genres, styles, interpretations, ten, stylistically, contributors, publisher, editor, bookend, pieces, produced, hosted, topic, dive, paste, copies, bad, embraced, smarter, reminded, research, adored, indulging, researching, brings, continued, delight, english, nottingham, partnership, specialist, edition, runs, high, level, detail, surprise, refer, celebration, agonised, extra, touches, embossed, front, folds, beautiful, stamp, smitten, begun, haven, explained, suppose, describe, essays, musings, satisfyingly, kinds, clicking, mixture, magazine, purposes, complete, esoteric, edited, writer, discovered, hopping, snail, majority, intimate, niche, show, stationery, swoon, handsome, sturdy, kraft, card, presented, except, came, hallway, partly, dangling, letterbox, tantalising, hang, shown, packaging, squealed, linked, process, merely, evidence, interest, move, exchange, honest, independent, free, settling, blanket, pair, socks, long, bits, raining, imposition, autumn, nudging, against, bare, ankles, tuesday, understanding, storytelling, explaining, given, drop, heels, attempt, opening, closing, mouth, manner, regardless, declaring, dash, later, vanishing, stuff, done, functioning, harmed, article, letting, hope, sticks, welcome, join, responses, tag, benefit, adapt, amorphous, confusion, version, shape, pretend, reflects, experience, paying, quicker, longer, bursting, ruining, helpless, again, caring, unpredictable, shared, uncomfortable, gets, big, obvs, depends, ruletoliveby, cuppa, pat, hand, tired, usual, wait, outside, somewhere, quiet, owner, shall, happen, joke, fiddle, rid, distract, lonely, nice, options, eventually, carrier, looks, eye, realises, helping, cry, thoughtful, another, ridiculous, worthy, matters, reframe, mistaking, standing, bastard, spend, dreading, enter, bags, awkwardly, panicking, considering, proportion, breathe, leak, burst, fish, die, worse, staring, wondering, god, sake, anybody, wobbly, down, opt, stopped, sinks, bump, embarrassed, confessing, fix, second, kindred, spirit, worked, change, frown, tense, sarcastic, seems, managing, everyday, cking, arm, saying, thrusting, slippery, wispy, spectre, wafts, unbidden, importantly, unseen, emerges, peripheral, vision, win, breath, distracted, keep, shoulder, dumped, literally, tangible, concrete, witnessed, accepted, sweated, stuck, reality, calmly, escalation, clean, yeah, during, episode, switch, productive, niggling, doubt, increased, rate, whirring, prickle, armpits, definitely, walked, popped, occurred, occur, gem, stone, polishing, tumbler, sat, morning, lock, actively, often, situations, nose, helps, hear, quite, believe, wonder, hob, bathroom, open, unlocked, dread, turmoil, descends, formed, nowhere, creeps, hits, washes, sources, body, external, loss, baffling, folks, pull, problem, solved, couple, comparisons, forest, gump, ism, meaning, helpful, aiming, admit, led, desire, respond, nothing, worry, etc, comprehend, explicable, reason, hasn, learn, record, medical, diagnosis, relating, phobia, frequent, episodes, thankfully, few, far, between, however, summer, gave, slight, attack, afterwards, crossed, emphasise, fear, tale, questions, anyway, battling, generalised, necessarily, wobblers, ungainly, grabbing, least, reaching, keeps, hitting, next, month, oct, hosting, charity, introduce, blogging, shy, contains, swearing, content, notice, zaffre, publishing, fondness, budge, known, historical, man, places, silk, satin, learns, chosen, serve, whims, wives, officers, survive, handles, carefully, respectfully, guessing, deliberate, remove, therefore, washing, brutal, realities, moments, aim, educate, safe, contained, feisty, teenage, leading, character, alongside, every, step, reader, compelling, illuminating, focuses, happy, speak, return, saw, publishers, seeking, reviewers, forward, familiar, seemed, fit, asked, discuss, words, arrange, invent, catch, theredribbon, historywardrobe, 21st, lists, title, wish, cross, interpretation, nod, sex, attraction, spoil, frisson, spark, wasn, huge, overly, laboured, natural, inclusion, indeed, dismissive, important, hell, proves, messages, absolutely, lot, passion, expression, absorbed, follow, grotesquely, fascinating, worth, clearly, spelled, offset, drawn, appreciating, telling, involved, unfold, horrors, device, naive, narrator, realise, likely, impact, entirely, period, stripped, fighting, lives, terminology, locations, numbers, hindsight, documents, photographs, films, scale, child, explanation, mythical, furthermore, almost, fable, choice, language, despite, centre, 20th, century, world, heightened, conditions, cinderella, restrictive, lifestyle, future, generations, continue, heed, lessons, valuable, personalise, case, loves, resents, authority, figures, hopes, grandparents, excitement, friendship, members, author, family, albeit, various, usually, told, terms, millions, similarity, vast, unfathomable, beyond, comprehension, zooms, incomprehensible, pay, aspect, wider, picture, colours, method, approaching, similarly, codes, sections, green, yellow, grey, pink, dress, including, surviving, building, blocks, connect, element, blurb, preview, puts, boy, striped, pyjamas, diary, anne, frank, either, related, narratives, primo, spoiler, progress, captors, recruitment, room, structured, female, infinitely, dark, setting, unsurprisingly, continues, themes, mention, attended, delivers, seen, gothic, girls, jolly, hockeysticks, shone, clothing, played, politics, practicalities, costume, society, attend, mam, militant, feminism, nicely, burnished, larger, ww2, historian, george, bernard, shaw, creating, finding, crack, funnies, tea, pot, 165, 173, 153, 151, 103, goldfi, filed, shop, sidebar, main, notes,

Text of the page (random words):
ogging for and about mental health and while i don t consider myself a mentalhealthblogger as such i don t shy away from sharing my wobbles through life and while sharing can t necessarily prevent wobbles it s good to know there are other wobblers around they give us something to grab on to and even if we feel ungainly and awkward while grabbing at least the reaching out keeps us from hitting the floor and the only way to learn that there are other people experiencing these things is for one of them to talk about it and today it s my turn if you need to grab on right now this post is for you so yes anxiety for the record i don t have a current medical diagnosis of anxiety i have had in the past and these days while anxiety relating to my phobia is frequent the more generalised anxious episodes i m talking about today are thankfully few and far between however this summer i experienced something which gave me a slight anxiety attack afterwards when it crossed my mind to blog about the event it really made me stop and think about how we talk about anxiety how we emphasise battling through it getting over it feeling the fear and doing it anyway which to me doesn t feel like always the best approach but before i write that post before i tell that tale and consider those questions i ve been trying to think of a good way to explain this particular kind of anxiety to someone who hasn t experienced it because sometimes people are anxious for no fully explicable reason which can be hard for both the individual and those around them to comprehend if we admit to feeling anxious the people around us led by a genuine desire for us not to be upset can sometimes respond with things like well don t be or there s nothing to worry about you ll be fine etc and while the don t be upset attitude is genuine and well meaning it s also less helpful than it s aiming to be of course there are also people who are just ignorant shits who think you should just pull yourself together but i don t think they re reading this right now but if you are hey just don t be a shit eh and that s that problem solved what i want to do now is offer up a couple of comparisons an analogy or two a forest gump ism if you will something that might help non anxious folks appreciate how baffling a sensation anxiety can be how it can feel like a loss of control and how external it can feel even though it s happening inside your own body if there s someone in your life who you d like to get it a little better than they do now shove this under their nose and see if anything helps them understand you know how people like to hear things from several sources before they quite believe in it so here we go how anxiety is like having a funfair goldfish thrust upon you and other stories just like that feeling when you suddenly wonder if you ve left the gas hob on the bathroom window open or the back door unlocked there are times when a sensation like dread panic or turmoil descends on you fully formed from out of nowhere it just creeps up on you hits you washes over you that s anxiety because often in those situations it s not like you ve actually been sat there all morning actively thinking about the gas the window or the lock it s not like you ve been turning the over the idea in your mind like a gem stone in a polishing tumbler it s just something that popped up something that suddenly occurred to you and try as you might you can t un occur it and just because you tell yourself of course you ll have locked the door why wouldn t you when have you ever just walked out and left it you definitely did it really doesn t stop that niggling doubt that increased heart rate that whirring mind that prickle of panic sweat in your armpits and if i tell you that everything s fine that i m sure you ll have locked the door that you can just stop worrying about it will you can you exactly that s anxiety because someone experiencing anxiety can t just switch it off simply because that would be the most rational and productive thing to do once you ve panic sweated you re stuck with panic sweat it s a reality thinking calmly might certainly prevent an escalation but it s only a clean up job after the fact the event still happened it s still something you need other people to take seriously if their support is to be of any use to you and yeah it s hard for someone to put themselves inside you head especially when during an anxious episode you yourself may not be too sure why you feel that way and it s not always easy to ask for support so in order to explain to others this slippery wispy spectre of a sensation that wafts in unbidden and more importantly unseen let s try thinking of anxiety as something tangible something concrete something that can be witnessed and accepted as real something we can hold literally how about we think about anxiety as a funfair goldfish that s been dumped on you ok ok then say you re going about your business one day doing your thing living your life and then someone emerges in your peripheral vision carrying a goldfish in a plastic bag the kind you win at a funfair and they re a little out of breath a touch distracted they keep looking over their shoulder and then they hold out their arm saying here hold this this while thrusting the plastic bag towards you and you take it because of course you do it s a goldfish in a plastic bag what else are you going to do let them drop it thanks for that they say while turning on their heels to leave and you attempt to object opening and closing your mouth in a manner not unlike the goldfish you re holding but they carry on regardless declaring i ve got to dash i ll be back for it later before vanishing and you don t really know how you got into the situation you don t know the backstory why you why now all you do know is that you re suddenly on your own with a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag to handle and you ve got shit to do you ve got to go about your day get stuff done act like a functioning adult and as if everyday life isn t tricky enough you re now going to have to try to do all of that while taking a f cking funfair goldfish along with you that s anxiety then you bump into someone you know someone who doesn t have to carry a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag with them and they ask how you are and although you feel silly embarrassed and awkward confessing it you do you tell them that because you ve suddenly got a goldfish in a plastic bag that you have to carry around you re actually struggling a little to do all the normal things that everyone around you seems to be managing without issue that s anxiety and this person who isn t an ignorant shit doesn t like the idea of you struggling so they try to fix the situation they say things like well just stop having a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag then and it ll be fine you can get on with things like i do and you can stop worrying oh you say thinking for a second that you ve found a kindred spirit so you know what this is like then have you also had to struggle along with a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag what worked for you how did you change things and get back to normal and they frown a little and tense up and think you re being sarcastic no they say i ve never had a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag myself but if i did and if it stopped me doing the things i wanted to do then i d just stop having a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag and your heart sinks a little while you try to explain that it really isn t as simple as all that that you didn t ask to have a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag today it just sort of happened to you that you didn t opt for one for the attention and you did try to get out of the situation and yes you do know that you could put it down but that seriously that s not as easy a job as you re making out because it s vulnerable and wobbly and you re not sure what s the best approach and well it s in a plastic bag for a start it ll probably roll off the table or leak or burst and the fish will probably die and then the whole situation will be so much worse and it ll all be your fault and everyone will be staring at you and wondering why you can t just for god s sake handle something as simple as a goldfish in a plastic bag like anybody else would and they look awkwardly at you like you just said all of that out loud because you just said all of that out loud and they say oh so are you like frightened of funfair goldfish or something is that why you re panicking do you think it s going to kill you or something because it won t kill you you know i think you re getting this all out of proportion just breathe it s only a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag don t think about it and after considering the best place you could shove the goldfish in order to stop them talking you explain that no you re not frightened of funfair goldfish in plastic bags you don t think they re going to kill you they re not something you spend your life dreading in fact most of the time they don t enter your head but that actually none of that rational thinking matters right now because right now no matter how you try reframe the situation whether you think about it or not there s no mistaking it you re still standing here holding a bastard funfair goldfish in a plastic bag you just are it s happening and it s happening now that s anxiety and eventually the person who really isn t an ignorant shit they just don t get it because unlike you they ve never had to carry a funfair goldfish in a carrier bag around with them looks you in the eye realises they re not helping and says is there anything i can do and at first you want to cry a little because part of you is just not used to people being so thoughtful while another part of you feels ridiculous and not worthy of their consideration but you have a think and you give them some options some ideas of things they could do to help you while you ve got to hold on to a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag well you say you could maybe just sit with me for a bit it might get a bit lonely what with me being the only one here having to hold on to a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag so some company might be nice or you could try to distract me tell me a joke give me something to focus on or fiddle with until i can get rid of this thing or you could tell me that you know it s not my fault that i didn t think my way into this that anyone can find themselves suddenly having to hold a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag that it can happen to the best of us or you could remind me that this too shall pass that goldfish don t last for ever that the owner will come back soon that i won t be carrying this for all time or if i m really struggling with this whole having to carry a funfair goldfish around with me thing you could tell me that if i can t carry on with business as usual you won t think any less of me if i just take it outside home somewhere quiet and just wait it out and then you say oh and when it does pass which will probably feel quicker now i ve got some company but when i m no longer struggling to hold this thing together and stop it bursting all over the floor and ruining my entire day after that i might feel a bit tired a bit vulnerable a bit silly so maybe then you could make me a cuppa pat my hand kiss my forehead obvs that last one depends on who they are don t let the ignorant shits kiss your forehead ruletoliveby and then we could just carry on like it was no big deal and then the person who didn t get it before gets it a little more and where before they were uncomfortable with you having a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag because they felt helpless out of control they now begin to feel useful like there s something they can do if it ever happens again which it might because that s just caring for funfair goldfish for you and anxiety they re both unpredictable but better when shared and orange anxiety isn t really orange i just put that in to see if you were still paying attention so what do you reckon i don t pretend this analogy reflects everyone s experience of anxiety yours will be different if you have your own way of defining describing giving a shape to you own experiences of anxiety do share those too someone else may read your version and relate to it but if this one does help you or someone you know get their head around the amorphous confusion that is anxiety then please take it use it adapt it and let me know what you think in the comments or via any of my online homes and please if you can share it so others might find and benefit from thinking about anxiety as a funfair goldfish and any time you re welcome to join me with your own responses or stories using the tag anxiousgoldfish instagram twitter facebook website thanks for letting me chat about this with you today i hope something sticks in your mind and comes in useful when you need it to julie no funfair goldfish were harmed in the making of this article posted by julie kirk at 14 56 15 comments labels mental health anxiety understanding anxiety analogy storytelling mentalhealthblogger anxiousgoldfish email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday 5 september 2017 book review the letters page vol 2 hey you i don t know about where you are but from where i sit it s raining it s chilly and there s more than a subtle imposition of autumn nudging up against by bare ankles today so it s probably about the time of year i start settling in with a blanket a pair of socks long enough to cover my chilly bits and a good read such as volume 2 of the literary journal the letters page full disclosure i was sent this copy in exchange for an honest independent review i know and there s me always going on about how i never get anything for free i should probably also say that i have submitted a piece of work for consideration in volume 3 but this review is not linked in any way to that submission process if anything though the fact that i ve submitted something is merely evidence of my genuine interest in the publication because why would i have submitted to it in the first place now let s move on to the journal itself but hang on though because i simply can not talk about the book s contents until i ve squealed over shown you the packaging this how vol 2 arrives in style dressed in its own perfectly form fitting box envelope not a roll of brown impossible to find the end of parcel tape in sight show me any lover of stationery or mail art who wouldn t swoon when a handsome sturdy printed kraft card envelope like that presented itself on their doormat i certainly did except when i came into the hallway mine was still partly dangling from the letterbox which understandably didn t want to part with it too soon and so it was tantalising from the very start and from then on its design continued to delight the letters page is published by the school of english at the university of nottingham in partnership with book ex machina a specialist ...