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description=A place for everyday creativity + life-documenting. There ll be paper, stripes + plenty of tales. And if you laugh along the way then all the better.;

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notes on paper october 2018 skip to main skip to sidebar pages home website shop filed away 19 3 february 1 january 2 18 7 october 1 50 shades of nay chapter two my two biggest fear september 1 july 2 june 1 february 1 january 1 17 31 december 1 october 2 september 3 august 1 july 3 june 4 may 3 april 5 march 2 february 4 january 3 16 45 december 3 november 3 october 5 september 3 august 4 july 3 june 3 may 4 april 3 march 4 february 6 january 4 15 79 december 6 november 4 october 7 september 8 august 8 july 8 june 9 may 7 april 3 march 8 february 5 january 6 14 103 december 6 november 9 october 5 september 8 august 14 july 11 june 11 may 10 april 11 march 6 february 5 january 7 13 151 december 8 november 8 october 21 september 12 august 16 july 19 june 9 may 11 april 16 march 11 february 9 january 11 12 153 december 7 november 7 october 8 september 14 august 16 july 13 june 8 may 20 april 15 march 15 february 23 january 7 11 173 december 8 november 14 october 15 september 17 august 18 july 18 june 18 may 13 april 11 march 12 february 15 january 14 10 165 december 14 november 9 october 13 september 10 august 16 july 10 june 18 may 15 april 19 march 20 february 12 january 9 09 72 december 8 november 3 october 7 september 5 august 9 july 4 june 4 may 6 april 5 march 7 february 6 january 8 08 8 december 3 november 5 i m here to write make crack the funnies and share ideas and experiences you can make yourself at home there s tea in the pot life isn t about finding yourself life is about creating yourself george bernard shaw friday 12 october 2018 50 shades of nay chapter two my two biggest fears about growing out my grey hello hello i know i know i m never here i treat this blog like a hotel i never call forgive me i won t waste time making excuses and hey i m here now and while i am you can check out how much more of my grey is showing since the last time i was here ok before we begin you should know i drafted out this post a few months ago before i d lived with the grey for any length of time and at this moment in time i don t feel quite the same unlike my roots my original feelings have been coloured by experience since then as of today 12 10 18 it s 25 weeks since i began my no dye experiment but my original thoughts which you can read below are from around the 6 12 week point but i thought they were still worth sharing in case someone reading is only just now setting off on a greying adventure and might be glad of the company welcome aboard i ll try to get around to writing an update soon and share my experiences from further down the grow out line 14 weeks without dyeing fear no 1 perhaps the the most obvious fear that i ll look older when i considered halting the sisyphean cycle of covering up my grey the idea of looking older wasn t actually my biggest concern still isn t but hey it s big enough and it s probably the most obvious so let s deal with that one first shall we all my life people have mistaken me for someone younger than my actual age when i first started working at the university supporting students in and around campus i was told that some other students on the course had asked why is that girl always hanging around with x in his classes i was 31 just this month a colleague asked if i d ever had trouble turning down students requests for me to go for a coffee with them seeing as how i was so much closer to them in age than she was i m 42 and had no idea how to break it to her and at least once in my 40s i ve been ided while buying wine maybe it s because i m small 5ft 2in size 10 or softly spoken or child free or psychologically unwilling unable to dress like a proper lady but whatever it is there s something working to embellish me with a thin veneer of youthfulness or maybe it s genetics when my dad retired from work people asked him why he was taking early retirement he wasn t he was 65 so apart from using this as an opportunity to boast joke i wanted to explain how i ve spent a lifetime correcting people s assumptions about me my age my status my experience all of which has led me here to wondering how will having grey hair change all of that 13 weeks without dyeing surely once my grey s on public display those kind of mistakes which were once frustrating but are becoming more flattering with time will cease who will i be then a grown up yeah first world problems crack out the violins right but while this all may sound privileged and indulgent i m really just trying to be honest so that anyone reading this who feels similarly knows that at least one other person out there is feeling the same trepidation i won t gloss over these concerns for fear of sounding superficial that s how women are systematically kept in place through fear of sounding frivolous childish not serious think how many things associated with traditional femininity clothes make up rom coms are also considered less worthy than masculine pastimes and it s good to recognise the purely socially constructed embarrassment that persuades us to not dare to admit we d still like to look young all while being sold products that promote that exact idea then we re tapped between either being scared of looking old and reaching for the hair dye or quietly going grey while scared of looking old when we do hence me talking about it here to contribute to the growing conversation between women experimenting with what grey means and looks like to them check out the grombre hashtag on instagram for all kinds of gorgeous greying inspiration so yes looking older is absolutely a concern of mine going grey is possibly the most ageing change in my appearance since my front teeth grew back in when i was 7 or that time in the 90s when i thought boxy jackets were a worthy style choice 13 weeks without dyeing however as i ve mentioned looking old is not the biggest fear i have not the most immediate not the one that makes looking in the mirror the hardest because first place in that race is taken by fear no 2 fear no 2 the biggest fear the fear of looking like i don t care i dare you to admit it that there s been a time when you noticed a woman with visible root regrowth of any colour not just grey and you thought to yourself hmmm has she seen herself in the mirror lately i ve thought it i m not proud of it but i have thought that kind of thing in the past i honestly try to not be judgemental about appearances at all any more but because i ve thought it i know that when a percentage of those most likely women who ll witness to my current amazing technicolor dream hair it will absolutely cross their mind that i m letting myself go that i must not care what i look like when i do oh how i really do again as with the fear of looking older the fear of sounding vain about your appearance is similarly not something we re encouraged to openly confess i know that hair makeup clothes and shoes are not everyone s priority but to a lot of us how we physically present ourselves to the world is equally a huge part of how we construct who we are for ourselves and if there wasn t some truth to the idea that many of us enjoy putting our best selves forwards then we d all only ever take just one quick selfie rather than pausing to pose for several many dozens and yet once again women young women and girls in particular are frequently vilified for caring too much about their appearance but for some it s a critical part of who we are i know there are those whose only interest in clothes begins and ends with the practicalities to fit with social convention to keep warm to keep from being arrested for indecent exposure in the cereal aisle of asda that s not me my personal style is my creativity worn on my shoulders on my feet in my ears my look is how i tell you who i am who i want to be and not just you it tells me the same things about me it creates and reinforces the person i am who i ve always been since i started picking out my outfits and attempting to dress myself at 18 months old so the idea that someone might clock my grey grow out and interpret it as evidence that i no longer care about my appearance that s aw hell that s a sharp dig in all of my soft places and i know that for however long my hair s in this untidy muddled inbetweeny neither one thing nor the other stage the risk of looking a little dishevelled will be the thing that bugs me far more than the idea of looking older older is not something i can help but looking put together like i care is something i should have control over and control could look like marching into a shop and buying a dye and mastering this unruly and ragged head of mine and yet that s not the experiment is it the experiment is seeing what this mop looks like once there s no longer a trace of dye amongst it and all my control right now is channelled into not dyeing it and fortunately while looking like i ve stopped caring is indeed my biggest fear i think maybe there s something a few things even that i can do about it a quick wardrobe restyle a haircut something anything to give the impression that i still care will hopefully do the trick if you ve seen my instagram account withjuliekirk at any point in the few months since i wrote this you ll know i definitely gave the hair chopping thing a go so there s that ray of hope and while i m growing out these silvering locks i ll take all the silver linings i can get do join in the conversation when i shared my first 50 shades of nay post all about how i tried a hair dye stripper to speed up the greying process which you can find here there were some great responses in the comments section and on my other social media too and i really enjoyed hearing your stories and thoughts on the greying process so please don t stop there are you happy to share any of your own greying fears is your biggest fear the fear of looking older or looking like you don t care or something else entirely or maybe you ve got tips on how to survive the months years it takes to finally grow it all out any advice on how to talk yourself out of ogling the packs of dye in boots like how you eye up the rotisserie chicken when you go to the supermarket before you ve eaten lunch whatever you ve got to share and wherever s easiest for you to share here insta facebook sky writing i m all ears let s keep the grey chat going julie posted by julie kirk at 14 28 2 comments labels grey hair 50 shades growing out grey hair dye going grey hair styling over 40 style grombre email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest newer posts older posts home subscribe to posts atom subscribe posts atom posts all comments atom all comments