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Text of the page (random words):
rticipate i was trying to shield two young men and keep their attention focused elsewhere but i was thoroughly embarrassed and want you to know that not every rangers fan feels that way about you or your team as the game wore on and the score got away from the rangers my friend took his children back down to the centerfield area that has different baseball skill games though somewhat numb by this point imagine my amazement as i watched an adult man stagger into the children s area with bloodshot glassed over eyes and stop oblivious to anyone else he began ejecting every snack and beverage of his evening onto the ground at the entrance to the pitching cage with the speed gun attached not once repeatedly classy sir classy fellow rangers fans while our team has grown into a classy championship caliber team before our very eyes we have not made the same growth as fans i have seen experienced players encourage younger players after flashes of greatness or success act like you ve been here before the message translates the state of texas i grew up in was often characterized and applauded for its friendliness and hospitality for those of you who haven t had the opportunity to practice these traits in public situations let me encourage you to find some more experienced texans that can model this behavior for you in short act like you ve been here if you can t please don t wear rangers attire that might confuse the rest of our children or our guests that we condone your behavior game four is on tv now and i am screaming nap o li in my living room i still believe these rangers are made of championship stuff in spite of the off night they had yesterday it is my greatest hope that yesterday was simply an off night for the fans as well posted by adkillam at 5 53 pm no comments saturday july 3 2010 hello son it s been a long time coming but it seems just like yesterday today is going to be one of those days one of those days that you file away and remember and i m glad you could be here for it sometime in the last two decades a thought began forming when it first began forming it wasn t so detailed in fact it could have been characterized more by what i hoped against more than what i hoped for but as time has marched along more and more clarity has come this thought has never been so pressing that it dominated all others yet it has always demanded some of my thought life when i met my daughter for the first time my life changed there are three arrows in my quiver and i would fight for them all but there is this dynamic that occurs between daddies and daughters it has been a beautiful ride these last twenty years i can remember promising her on one of our late night walks through the house as i held her head in the palm of one hand and her bottom in the other that i would only give her the best i could give her it s a tricky business deciding what kind of man you want for your daughter it forces you to reevaluate how you ve treated young ladies in your own life i used to wonder why some fathers looked at me the way they did looking at my daughter i came full circle i also tried not to preconceive socioeconomic or even culturally profile yes sir it s a tricky business indeed eventually you realize it s not about what you want anyway i would like to tell you that i have enjoyed getting to know you i liked you pretty much from the first time i met you i m glad i had the opportunity to get to know you and see what a hard working and straight up young man you are i learned that i could trust you to do what you said you were going to do even in the small things and it s interesting that sk took to you even more quickly i have to tell you that i never saw it coming i never imagined that you might be the one early on but i also have to tell you that you have undoubtedly become the one good thing huh it s not important but you fulfill so many of the points on my twenty year old checklist but what is more important you have captured her heart i have watched you two closely and i smile so today life changes for all of us it has been easier than i imagined to learn to share her with you but still so hard to let go of her attention she has been daddy s girl it would be hard to find anybody to argue with that the truth is i have been girl s daddy too we have laughed until we cried about things no one else understood we have shared a love of music no one else would listen to with us we have communicated with out words for most of her life but i want you to know i welcome you i am excited for you both i can t wait to see the life you create together following the one who creates through you both you see the thought has gained clarity the man i was looking for turned out to be a little taller than i first imagined but god has helped me see you are the man he was looking for you make my daughter happy you aren t afraid to help her even to your own hurt you do have her best interests at heart you are all the things that i could have ever hoped for my daughter i know it s one of those weird awkward things all of us working together and trying to keep it separate from the family we ve become together but once again you have found a simple grace and walked it through so later today the rest of the world will get to publicly see you waiting for my daughter and i at the end of that aisle i understand and rejoice that you two will be impatiently waiting for that short walk to be over so you can get on with the rest of your lives together just be patient with me if i make it as slow as i can this day has been twenty years in the making for me and if in the hustle and bustle and activity that goes with this special day if everyone else wants your attention and wants to talk its fine but i don t want to miss the opportunity to tell you hello son posted by adkillam at 12 38 am no comments thursday april 1 2010 real life my heart is heavy tonight not the kind of heavy like there s something coming up that you know you re not going to like it s almost like it physically feels weighed down a baby left us this past week and it has affected me permanently i m sure that there was more than one baby that passed on this past week and each one needs to be noted and remembered but this baby this baby was different for me this baby was personal for me so up front to all the other families who remember their babies this week may the peace of god reign in your hearts and may you always remember the beautiful moments but i wish that you could all have known ben truthfully i was never introduced face to face but i feel like a real part of his life at least he is a very real part of mine and ben taught me lessons in his short seven weeks that i will never forget ben was a gift there are many verses in my bible that tell me that god agrees with me not only a gift but psalms tells me that they are a reward i believe that ben was a reward and a precious gift to his parents as is his twin brother his parents prayed and believed for them with great faith for so many years ben s gift was short but powerful he reminded me that nothing is permanent to take every opportunity you have to show people you love them don t settle for just saying make it real to them serve them love them with every moment may i parenthetically interject this please and i know you mean well and it is tough to find words to express some things but please don t tell me that god took ben because he needed another angel i think we make god look a little like an indian giver i know that s not politically correct when we say that the bible says children are a gift then we say god takes them away again let s agree to say that god welcomed him home i do believe that ben was a source of unity i was constantly amazed how many people offered ben words of encouragement offered his parents words of encouragement and offered to help in real and tangible ways a community of support grew from everywhere and without any regard to who it might associate one with it was all about what might help accomplish the goal wouldn t it be a fitting tribute if we could learn that lesson on a broad scale if we learned nothing else from my man ben could we learn that in proper perspective most things shake out less important than we ve made them maybe we could focus more on ways to come together and mend past grievances and less on grudges and differences not to take anything away from ben all of our lives are way to short to spend them all selfishly find some common ground learn the power of forgiveness make everyone feel welcome thanks for reminding me ben and ben was a fighter ben reminded me that real life isn t in the easy moments real life that s the moments you re scrapping to keep it all together real life is happening in those times when everything is resting on hope and prayers real life is found in those moments when you don t have any other answer but to keep swinging swinging with purpose and might grabbing for every precious moment and finding every precious moment its own victory yes ben is a very real part of my life ben is my nephew he and his twin brother were born to my beautiful sister and her husband on february 2 2010 and this is why my heart is so heavy i love my sister i know how precious these gifts were to her family but my sweet baby sister god s gift of ben will always live on in you and the incredible man god has given you to share this life i encourage you keep leaning on each other now as you learn what life looks like from this point on it s still a good life it s going to be different to be sure but it is still good i m so proud of the way you looked after your little man you gave everything spared nothing to make sure ben had the best life he could sister you gave me a new definition of grace in the way you took consistently overwhelming situations and made them seem like they were just today s to do list i can t remember one time that your thoughtful explanations and updates weren t markedly optimistic and positive you and your husband are such a wonderful combination of strengths that compliment each other perfectly so later today they will be celebrating ben s life in a church in virginia i won t be there at least not in body but my heart and mind are extended east as they remember that scrapper ben i take comfort that in heaven we will be known as we are known i m looking forward to meeting ben posted by adkillam at 10 03 pm 1 comment sunday march 7 2010 dear stella i got your back i suppose i should welcome my new granddaughter with an entry about how beautiful and amazingly wonderful she is well she is but i need her to know first and foremost i got your back you see because you are so beautiful and innocent and full of great potential you need someone you can count on to be there for you i m your guy this isn t the world grandad grew up in i m so glad you re here but this is a pretty hazardous time to arrive my love you ve arrived in the golden age of selfishness there is so little respect for other people one of grandad s favorite movies is blast from the past it didn t win any awards most people probably brush it aside as fluff but i love it adam the main character played by brandon fraser has lived separated from the world in a bomb shelter for the first 35 years of his life and then is suddenly thrown into the world without much explanation at one point in the movie adam explains to some of the people he has met that the short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible and he says manners are a way of showing others we care about them this isn t the world you have entered my tiny one this seems to be a world that is more and more everyday interested only in self what makes me comfortable a world that is so convinced that each person s personal interests are more important than anyone else s so manners are becoming more rare i would say endangered even you see it in the way people drive traffic laws are more about what is common practice than what is right or wrong if people think they can win a race between you and them to the place they want to be they will try to beat you or they just figure insurance will replace whatever they break so they turn in front you even if you have to pull off a trick worthy of houdini to avoid a collision speed limits are suggestions your uncle jared was told in driver s ed to stay the speed of the traffic around him regardless of the posted speed limit you see it in shopping centers be it the parking lot or the stores everyone is racing to be first and to get the best spots or sales you see it in the way kid s activities have become all too serious when grandad played youth baseball he was given a t shirt and a cap most of us wore jeans and tennis shoes it was not the focus of my life no one screamed at me and called me names laced with expletives if i struck out or missed a play and i usually went home happy just want you to know i got your back i m here for you kiddo and before you get to caught up in all the technology and we ve got plenty of it to throw at you don t ever forget that nothing takes the place of one on one face to face communication text me if you need to but hug me every chance you get it really is better i don t mean to paint a gloomy picture little one there are plenty of things to smile at and be encouraged about still around in this world i usually wear rose colored glasses myself but reality forces me to point out these small deficiencies your aunt kaylea is one of the greatest girls in the whole world she s always gonna be my baby girl but if you ask her i think she d tell you it s true from time to time you ll need me i ve had her back too you re beautiful baby stella your mom and dad will do great but if and when you need me remember i got your back posted by adkillam at 8 57 pm 1 comment sunday august 30 2009 the dark side of facebook is facebook here forever now before you answer remember xanga it took me way too long to let go of xanga and dabble in my space does anybody remember how to get to his or her xanga page then i remember thinking my space was the best that there would ever be it s amazing how quickly the world shifts sometimes so now we re in the age of facebook what a great tool to connect and reconnect friends from so many different places it truly is a great way to catch up and see how everyone turned out right there is a dark side as much as i enjoy making new connections as addicting as pushing the facebook app on the iphone can be there is a dark side and it leaves me somewhat uncomfortable sooner or later it happens you log in to see all the witty status updates and top news stories and there it is in your notifications someone you really don t care to reconnect with and they want to be your friend hasn t happened to you you say i ll add anybody fine the dark side has other ways to find you you are happily s...