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Text of the page (random words):
age why do people say she died too young or it wasn t his time if somebody dies while they are young lots of people die while they are young their life ended it was over it finished did this death cut their life short somehow i don t think so i think their death came at the exact time it meant to their life did end it wasn t interrupted so why do they say such and such will increase your lifespan or if you do this you will live longer well you won t you will die exactly when you were expected to you might be hit by a ship one day as you kayak the sea on a spontaneous whim or you might have your leg chewed off by a crocodile and die from the infection you might even die when you are ninety six and three days old peacefully in your sleep you might die after two weeks of heart failure your organs slowly deteriorating as each hour passes your daughter next to you nodding off to the gentle labour of your slowing breaths you might die one day far away from all those you love because you didn t spend enough time with them you might die when you are a child shattering the hearts of your protectors how will something increase your lifespan then it won t you might try to live a stress free life to be happier healthier live longer but ultimately you will die exactly when you are destined to and that is why they should say decreases risk of disease rather than increases lifespan because that is what it does isn t it it lowers the risk of you dying of a disease that is what they really mean nobody wants to die from a disease so if you eliminate disease what do you get you get death from another cause share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading impression of heat april 7 2026 april 6 2026 ocean bream the story of lenny tags air con creative writing desert gcc gulf heat life living in heat love luxury personal saudi arabia thoughts tired uae writing leave a comment there is deep exhaustion everywhere the kind that climbs onto your shoulders places warm sweaty palms on your eyes and rests its long tentacles along your bones you can t shake it off no matter how much you sleep you long for the respite of the cool night air but it never comes perhaps there is a moment of happiness in a new ice cream cafe a walk with a friend sipping iced lattes at 11pm the discovery of a new book to take you away from this fetid existence a moment maybe two of them air conditioning units humming through the night causing your throat to dry out like sandpaper causing your cough to hack you awake from restless and clammy dreams then you decide enough is enough you will venture out bring the world to your eyes so they may drink make the most of where you are but it is a concrete wilderness house upon house bridges stretching over gleaming highways bloated with traffic the kind that has sharp hot exhaust fumed edges and dogged determination every exit is a game of chicken cars coming out of intersections at the speed of bullet trains do i brake do i carry on do i assert myself do i give in so much at risk though so much so ultimately do i really want to be outdoors fighting for my life against these metal machines driven by people who believe they will live forever it s a gleaming shining sterile city if you choose to look at it that way malls and shopping complexes five star dining and the most luxuriant cosmetics and decadent foods women dressed like queens men smelling like musk and oud pristine polished smooth convenience on a plate someone will take your groceries to your car for you happy to carry your children clean your home cook your food you don t need to lift a finger if you don t want to if you don t have a maid or nanny there is shock in their eyes and dust everywhere brown sky brown ground plants wilt and die death rises up to meet death a bed of luxury at death s doormat do we walk away from omelas share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading wuthering heights april 6 2026 april 8 2026 ocean bream reviews tags book review books emerald fennell emily bronte literature margot robbie movies pop culture wuthering heights leave a comment i staunchly defended this emerald fennell s right to create an interpretation of a lauded classic for many weeks before i actually sat down to watch wuthering heights as it is so named i said people must be allowed the freedom of expression to express their creativity on a piece of literature such as this mind you i am a purist i love emily bronte s dark and insane work it spoke to me at ten years old in one particular way and then over the years as my ever growing brain revisited it it spoke to me differently each time the older i get the more weary i feel towards it but it still has its inexplicable pull as younger me put it i finished a re read of jane eyre last month and yesterday i turned the last page on that chaotic nightmare that is wuthering heights it s my fourth time reading it and i tell you it s emotionally unhinged it tells me a different story each time i read it this time it spoke of futile hope when love and kindness are not given freely also that people ought to socialise with people other than their own families sometimes lest they all marry each other for want of better things to do so i watched this controversial wuthering heights i was prepared to put aside all judgement and criticism and just attempt to enjoy it for what it was but i fear i could not oh i could not oh how disgusted i felt how stunned and how witheringly irritated i felt as though it had been stripped bare of all of bronte s painstaking intricacy only leaving the haunting imagery of a weak sexual fever dream of what a fifteen year old over twenty years ago would have imagined it to be not having understood it at all we have a tortured love story consummated towards the end but never satisfied with an everlasting union and a set decked for conquest adorned for gaudy exuberance attired for extravagance we are shown so much visually but are told so little i see feeble attempts at deeper analytical exploration but it all falls so terribly flat we have the brilliance of a woman who lived a short life over 150 years ago stripped to bare primal essentials and dressed in modern day fluff oh it was awful i tried to detach from wuthering heights to watch it as it was meant to be an entertaining piece of pulp but i could not i found it lacking substance empty like a vanity cake decorated so vibrantly nothing inside a rotten core no core at all where is that rich decadent yolk we just have a cracked shell the film did fantastically well of course so i expect the makers got what they desired from it and that is all that matters isn t it i do wish they had named it anything other than wuthering heights because they could have made it any story at all they didn t need to say it was what it wasn t share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading savoury life april 5 2026 april 5 2026 ocean bream motherhood musings the story of lenny tags ai ai takeobver ai takeover anxiety blogging childhood family iran war life love mental health middle east motherhood personal smooth brain thoughts trump war world of ai world war 3 writing ww3 4 comments i don t know if my brain is becoming smooth ideally it should be more wrinkly the wrinklier the better i am told ai usage mental convenience and delegation and short form content on the regular are making my attention span shorter i feel any information i do consume stays in my short term memory box and i am left on a weird intellectual loop saying thinking planning the same old things month in month out year in year out with no significant change occurring this is where i say it will all stop but i guess i am just fooling myself at the very least i am aware being aware is one step closer to making a change is it not i am based in the middle east currently since the 11th of may 2025 actually the situation here is stable but volatile people are going about their daily lives while missiles are being intercepted every day sometimes you hear them and the house shakes and alerts go off on your phone that you can t turn off saying to head to a safe space except there are no safe spaces no basements or bomb shelters so you have to think where is the safest place in my house where i won t get crushed i am more worried for my kids than myself if this war escalates to something nuclear i think we are all screwed no matter where we are in the world and i think it s safe so say we all know this is a war fuelled by ego epstein file cover up the us being in israel s pocket israel furthering it s greater israel agenda and keeping netanyahu out of jail the us is ruled currently by an illiterate madman but hey are we surprised no we just hope to be safe i think we can all agree on that i am just really sad and shocked and worried for my kids future the world we seem to be bequeathing to them is chaotic frightful and full of smoke and mirrors what is real in this age of ai and corporate lies i shall try my very best here in this torrid place summer is creeping back in for there is no winter here no spring and no colourful autumn just summer hot hot burning summer and then gentle summer or what people here call winter i used to dream about this place for it is where i grew up but i am back now and i long to escape once more just as i did as a child rose tinted glasses folks we are at the mercy of electricity here if it goes out the cool air goes and we are left to bake in an aching dryness that feels like death it is death it s death how can i raise my children in death like i was raised in death taught to fear everything never to feel secure but i see people here and they are so secure they are secure from the bombs falling not even gasping or running when the shopping mall booms and shakes from interceptions above swishing around in their expensive clothes heels clicking on polished floors they feel secure their children are secure no anxiety nannies running after them adhering to their every whim why then am i insecure why are my children worried afraid to fall asleep because a plane sounds too loud afraid to go on a school trip because they may be left behind are they swallowing my insecurities if so that is very very bad i long to be back in a nature that envelops me and does not seek to devour my moist flesh i long for my children to run in fields again to climb trees to fish for frogs in puddles and to collect the sweet scented roses that are abundant in my garden i long for my little girl to pick up worms again kiss them fondly and name them to cherish the ladybirds that infiltrate our house through the seasons hibernating in the corners of the ceiling for months on end i miss the old oaks the spring explosion of magnolia and cherry blossom but i don t know what this future holds and perhaps seeking financial stability that comes at the cost of health and happiness and a cool breeze is just not worth it share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading thirty two march 30 2026 ocean bream the story of lenny tags birthday life love mother motherhood personal thoughts writing 12 comments i am thirty two today it slipped my mind entirely i am expecting guests and a baby i am also so exhausted and burnt out i feel like i don t know where i begin and end where does daily life meld into anything to do with myself am i just a blob drifting through this life do i want to live this kind of life maybe it s got to do with my perspective anyway i didn t mean to get all morose i am thirty two today the only person who ever remembers this fact is my mother she is not well at the moment mentally she is there she is aware but at the same time she really is not it s such a strange experience i miss her dreadfully i miss her voice her little isms even the things that used to annoy me about her i want her to have a go at me for complaining about the smell of cooking on my clothes anyway she isn t well so of course nobody will remember this doesn t bother me because i don t bother about birthdays nor have i ever bothered about them so it s fine of course it s just a thought i have though that even something insignificant to me would have been significant to my mother i just really miss her i also now have a deeper understanding of mental illness a deeper appreciation of it and people who go through it in a way i never did before there s thirty two share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading post navigation older posts search for recent posts ape august 3 2026 spirit of the night august 2 2026 on making it through august 1 2026 ramblers may 14 2026 on being low april 27 2026 life discontinued april 12 2026 recent comments parikhit on on making it through james on on making it 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