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cut the frills v simplify cut the frills v simplify menu skip to content home about search search for just checking in october 18 2015 beth s leave a comment having fun with my ipad spent all day cleaning the apartment so i had to take a shot of it i know i have been a negligent blogger lately but i have an excuse i got offered temporary full time at my job for their peak season even though i like working part time because i had more time to relax and do other things i want to get my loans paid off and having the oppurtunity to make more money to accomplish that is great i am enjoying working full time as well i like getting up early and feeling accomplished with my day so overall things are busy but good i m hoping to find some time to blog more in the near future but for now the blog is on a bit of a hiatus there s only so much time in the day i do like to post on my instagram quite a bit more often than i do here so for now please follow me there cutthefrills until next post time flies august 30 2015 beth s leave a comment wow i cannot believe it is almost september already and with that almost three months of no blog posts how very minimalist of me haha truth be told i actually got a new job in june which changed my life quite a lot i went from having a variable random schedule to having a nice set weekday only schedule where i can work up to 24 hours and week at almost double the pay i was making at the retail store plus i only really have to interact with my co workers and pretty much am left alone all day just how i like it i cannot believe how much of a difference it has made for my stress level and even though my family keep pushing a full time job i like that i only work 20 hours a week i don t want to spend all my time at work it does leave a sense of purpose to be desired but i know i can try to find that elsewhere and while it definitely won t make me rich by any means i am just barely over the poverty threshold for a single income but at least now i have some steady income whereas before i never knew what i was going to get and i have been able to make bi monthly payments to my loans which is great i mean when i look at the full amount and it doesn t seem to change at all that s a bit depressing but at least i know i am getting there and that makes me feel good the downside to this new job is the extra consumption that seems to have happen since i noticed this a bit when i got the retail job last year when i got the new job i just had to get new clothes to wear and a work bag etc etc which i really didn t need and now with this job i have noticed the same thing happened to be fair i did need some new clothes since this is a much more professional business setting versus the uber casual clothes need for the retail job so i did need some nice clothes i just wish i had been more mindful when i bought the ones that i did i feel like i just went for things to get quickly even though they didn t fit perfect or were clothes i really liked i am really trying right now to be conscious of what i like and stick with it for example i have discovered that there are two different types of shirts at kohl s that i love so instead of shopping all over the place trying to find new clothes i look at kohl s for the one dressy shirt type i like and will get that right now i have two of the nice tops and would like to get three more over time so i have a full week s worth and donate the rest of my work tops that i don t like as much i just bought a few more of one of their casual shirts because they are super comfortable and flattering for my body type and pretty durable since i bought the same kind last year and it s still holding up and it s 3 4 sleeve yet not too heavy so i can wear it all year long i plan on sticking to those shirts i like them and i wear them and i don t need any others so as always minimalism is a work in progress i just really need to be aware of my shopping problem i think another part of the issue is shopping is pretty much the activity that my mom and i do together we don t do much else and that does make me sad but i just enjoy spending time with her so if shopping is what we are doing than that s fine with me but it definitely makes it easy to accumulate more things it also doesn t help that i feel like shopping is a national pastime whenever i am bored or i want to go out we always seem to go shopping and that makes me sad and most of the time when the boy and i do go shopping i am either mixed with guilt if i do buy something or i am depressed because i told myself no and i didn t and then i just think i wasted time and neither of those are good things to feel so self be aware of the urge and be disciplined enough to say no go for a walk or go shopping at the library be mindful of what i already have and know that it is enough don t be afraid of new things but know yourself and what you like and be honest with yourself i think that is all for now apologies if this post is a bit scatterbrained i need to get back in the groove of writing more often short post simple joys morning routine may 30 2015 beth s 1 comment sadly this picture is not the breakfast i had this morning but it is a nice picture today i did something that doesn t often happen i accomplished a morning routine i woke up a little after 6 30 and thought that maybe it would be nice to go for a walk and for once i actually did i spent a wonderful hour walking running short break watching the river i took a nice cold shower when i got back then i hand washed my exercise clothes since i only have the one pair after that i made a healthy breakfast of egg white omelet with some avocado and some coffee of course and then somehow managed to meditate for 20 minutes and followed that with reading a bit all before 11 am i am definitely one of those people who can never seem to get into the morning routine so this morning was refreshing instead of just spending the whole morning staring at my computer screen or tv i actually accomplished some things i need to remember how good it feels especially the morning walking i never want to do it but when i do i feel very good afterwards so i will have to try to remember these things to keep it up accepting limitations may 20 2015 beth s leave a comment there are a lot of days where i tend to beat myself up for my past choices i hate that i do it because i know it really doesn t do me any good lately i ve been trying to allow myself to accept that there are just some things i cannot do so what if i went to college to study nursing and couldn t hack it that i couldn t make it work as a veterinary technician either does that make me a bad person no did i just not try hard enough maybe could i have pushed through my anxieties maybe but maybe not i probably could have forced myself through nursing school or i could ve failed out i ran towards vet tech as a career because i thought maybe i could do nursing if it wasn t with people but with animals boy was i wrong note to social anxiety resources that have vet tech as a good option it isn t you interact with people a lot shelter work is better social anxiety wise end note but i am tired of running i am trying to accept that i m not that great at many things sure i m a decent artist might be able to make a little chump change with that skill but i m no professional i m not particularly social obviously i get anxious easily i get overwhelmed easily i cry easily i m not competitive sometimes my memory is horrible i don t have any great skills or connections i don t have any great dreams or grand desires to be in charge or run the world or be famous but you know so what being all of those things does not make me a bad or less worthwhile person it just makes me who i am i m tired of trying to fight that i feel it is time i start accepting my limitations and from there try to better them little by little rather than scrutinizing my entire being completely constantly yeah if modern society collapsed or the zombie apocalypse came i probably wouldn t last long but maybe i would not constrained by the way the world works now in it s competitive materialistic culture or maybe i am idolizing ancient ways of living and or farm life that s completely possible i probably wouldn t survive a zombie take over though that s for sure i am not less of a person because i am not perfect i was not meant to be a nurse for either people or animals and i shouldn t feel bad about that even though i do feel bad about my debt from schooling i think i am much happier now that i have accepted this fact instead of trying to force it to work and stress myself to death in the process i don t know what i am meant to be and i don t think i should feel bad about that either i know many people don t find their calling until later in life maybe i will find mine maybe i won t but obsessing about the past won t help feeling bad about failing in life certainly won t make me more successful so for right now i think i just need to focus on the present and doing the best i can do and enjoying every moment i have since you never know the zombie apocalypse might come tomorrow and then i ll be dead anyways on feeling pointless may 16 2015 may 16 2015 beth s 2 comments right now i seem to be at a point in my life where i just don t know what to do with myself i am really struggling with that when i was in high school i had a goal to do what i was supposed to do and get good grades in order to go to college i did very well in high school went to college and majored in nursing because it s what i was supposed to do realized nursing and i were not a match meant to be and switched to art therapy because i loved art and psychology and it would allow me to graduate on time senior year began panicking because art and jobs aren t easy to come by so i gave myself a new goal i decided to pursue veterinary technology thinking it would be a more secure career path but that didn t turn out so great either and now here i am working a dead end retail job i just miss having a destination all my life i had one and now i don t i just don t know what to do with that feeling as the title of this post implies i feel pointless i feel empty and most of the time i don t know what to do about it i am not making any plans to pursue another degree in the near future only for that to turn out to be another failed attempt at something i need to pay my student debt off first before i do anything else i need to take responsibility for that i wouldn t even know where to start for choosing another path anyway i try to look for jobs until i feel so depressed i end up crying my eyes dry but most jobs require experiences i don t have acquaintances i don t know or education i cannot afford and that doesn t even include my anxieties so it is really hard but i am trying i try to live in the moment as much as possible i know i am not the best at it especially when my brain continues to feel pointless all the time but i am trying more now i feel like i should maybe try and volunteer somewhere to give myself some purpose social anxiety just makes it really hard to put myself out there though i should also make more art i always say i should but then never get around to actually doing it should should should so yeah bottom line is feeling pointless and aimless sucks and i am still processing through these feelings i think but hopefully i will either find my purpose or make my own and for the time being i just have to focus on life one day at a time maybe that s all i really need to do posts navigation older posts welcome to my blog hello readers lizzie 24 searching for simple newbie minimalist and buddhist still learning every day archives october 2015 august 2015 may 2015 april 2015 march 2015 february 2015 december 2014 november 2014 october 2014 september 2014 august 2014 july 2014 may 2014 november 2013 february 2013 december 2012 november 2012 follow blog via email 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