Meta tags:
description=Random musings and questions of The Ordinary Mammal;

Headings (most frequently used words):

what, oh, about, the, that, of, this, year, past, posts, navigation, random, musings, and, questions, ordinary, mammal, pain, walking, all, noise, lies, stars, ache, celebrations, weight, another, away, we, have, menu, new, get, to, know, me, these, archives,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (136), and (113), you (95), that (66), but (55), what (49), this (43), for (43), with (38), here (35), have (33), there (32), about (31), are (26), love (25), 2015 (24), all (24), 2016 (22), like (21), april (21), they (21), just (21), get (19), june (19), too (19), when (19), from (19), know (18), your (18), even (18), will (18), our (18), july (17), how (17), now (16), august (16), december (16), because (16), still (16), can (16), been (16), january (15), one (15), november (14), 2021 (14), not (14), 2022 (13), maybe (13), don (13), would (13), she (13), life (12), 2014 (12), 2017 (12), 2026 (12), time (12), ordinary (12), mammal (12), may (11), right (11), little (11), was (11), days (11), has (11), 2019 (10), things (10), much (10), posted (10), already (9), october (9), together (9), make (9), way (9), always (9), feel (9), her (9), home (8), 2018 (8), 2020 (8), feels (8), want (8), enough (8), tell (8), out (8), more (8), ourselves (8), over (8), them (8), other (7), september (7), february (7), march (7), pain (7), new (7), really (7), every (7), hope (7), yet (7), got (7), did (7), world (7), hold (7), day (7), celebrate (7), myself (7), some (7), 2023 (6), good (6), say (6), should (6), give (6), being (6), need (6), used (6), think (6), who (6), else (6), only (6), something (6), find (6), fear (6), never (6), away (6), seem (6), take (6), tom (5), past (5), lies (5), noise (5), long (5), sometimes (5), look (5), making (5), though (5), quiet (5), someday (5), needed (5), another (5), continues (5), hand (5), while (5), year (5), through (5), years (5), moments (5), part (5), exactly (5), left (5), laughing (5), hear (5), back (5), head (5), going (5), stop (5), today (5), everything (5), wordpress (4), com (4), walking (4), okay (4), happened (4), believe (4), forward (4), feeling (4), universe (4), lot (4), talk (4), wish (4), didn (4), around (4), matter (4), let (4), walk (4), first (4), without (4), remind (4), each (4), well (4), friends (4), see (4), reality (4), especially (4), hard (4), trying (4), found (4), same (4), heart (4), ahead (4), those (4), night (4), supposed (4), people (4), does (4), down (4), felt (4), its (4), strong (4), point (4), finally (4), must (4), tonight (4), ache (4), keep (4), secret (4), snapshots (3), footsteps (3), tidbits (3), facts (3), quotes (3), these (3), hopefully (3), bask (3), painful (3), future (3), sense (3), couldn (3), doesn (3), won (3), glance (3), inside (3), understand (3), come (3), watch (3), play (3), run (3), proud (3), share (3), course (3), big (3), often (3), exhausting (3), why (3), next (3), ready (3), sure (3), family (3), where (3), own (3), loud (3), laughter (3), space (3), than (3), yes (3), ever (3), into (3), end (3), avoid (3), nothing (3), could (3), then (3), darkness (3), again (3), moment (3), ones (3), guess (3), someone (3), quite (3), worry (3), alive (3), warmth (3), weight (3), light (3), which (3), listen (3), site (2), required (2), email (2), content (2), log (2), sign (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), address (2), posts (2), single (2), body (2), happy (2), true (2), short (2), miracle (2), ice (2), cream (2), randomly (2), said (2), honest (2), person (2), before (2), crushed (2), different (2), anyone (2), mean (2), less (2), children (2), move (2), decide (2), help (2), joke (2), place (2), hands (2), surrounded (2), owe (2), anything (2), worth (2), looking (2), clock (2), midnight (2), means (2), constantly (2), hiding (2), behind (2), both (2), crazy (2), decided (2), smiling (2), best (2), simple (2), wonder (2), distance (2), cooped (2), somewhere (2), catching (2), continue (2), dream (2), having (2), flowers (2), others (2), sing (2), art (2), songs (2), mind (2), under (2), lingers (2), holding (2), worst (2), music (2), safe (2), morning (2), peak (2), covered (2), looks (2), song (2), slowly (2), allowing (2), bubble (2), thinking (2), until (2), very (2), reached (2), hair (2), mine (2), their (2), christmas (2), waking (2), bed (2), presence (2), gift (2), fever (2), second (2), chances (2), finish (2), were (2), made (2), floor (2), nobody (2), once (2), thank (2), god (2), existence (2), month (2), most (2), also (2), isn (2), pun (2), grave (2), knows (2), crying (2), lost (2), kind (2), try (2), sleep (2), calm (2), uproar (2), tired (2), allow (2), keeping (2), easier (2), rid (2), getting (2), fighting (2), seems (2), ideal (2), thing (2), deal (2), times (2), respite (2), emotions (2), set (2), free (2), heavy (2), spirit (2), friendships (2), hours (2), might (2), sleeping (2), overwhelming (2), between (2), attention (2), choice (2), ways (2), intended (2), became (2), voices (2), thin (2), ago (2), random (2), musings (2), questions (2), started, design, website, name, write, comment, loading, comments, collapse, bar, manage, subscriptions, view, reader, report, privacy, account, join, 142, subscribers, blog, follow, archives, jul, 128, clicking, older, navigation, amor, deserve, cell, telling, cliche, scary, unpredictable, exciting, full, twists, turns, rainbows, butterflies, bees, wasps, sting, two, legs, craving, excited, building, conspired, many, hurt, cos, lesbi, trauma, bitch, meant, change, higher, chance, fine, impact, relationship, coming, any, story, poverty, education, accessible, disadvantaged, truly, important, fast, unchanged, decisions, walked, crowded, street, stealing, kisses, global, warming, hug, cure, cancer, regardless, choices, training, doing, bruises, battle, scar, celebrates, exhausted, key, attend, pride, reminded, blessed, everyday, aren, piled, diminish, beside, strikes, masks, remove, safety, net, arm, length, goes, generation, dear, friend, ariel, singing, 10km, longest, counting, race, knew, married, wedding, church, filled, hardest, spend, momentarily, forgetting, harsh, parts, broken, green, kitchen, couple, adopted, pets, movie, date, godson, museum, gallery, waiting, band, rush, terrible, trip, popping, balloons, bridal, shower, weekend, thrive, circumstances, disappointment, understanding, rings, louder, bolder, til, needs, valentine, climbed, highest, raced, mountain, sweat, mud, afar, pawssion, term, longer, headache, theme, park, flip, quickly, pages, book, hopeful, planets, finding, towards, able, capture, exploding, volcanoes, poet, wrote, begin, wrap, lives, beginnings, sand, salt, cheeks, matters, comfort, usual, places, far, live, solace, return, hiccup, virus, doorstep, ours, shaking, meals, makes, special, ask, greatest, priceless, high, nights, distant, hit, eve, kiss, immortalize, click, smile, experience, picture, silly, brainer, sip, hot, original, game, crowd, win, aspects, almost, turned, uncomfortable, culmination, runs, beginning, cross, line, dancing, speeches, party, racing, rode, magic, carpet, caring, fools, ran, limitless, color, lessens, off, adventure, ends, vomit, ringing, sitting, puking, toilet, care, gross, happening, browse, hundreds, shyly, brushing, basking, enjoying, celebration, mishap, pray, gives, healthy, plays, reminds, ghost, ghosts, loveliest, death, memories, muddled, feelings, vivid, ironically, cemetery, praying, brought, chose, beautiful, souls, twice, lifetime, read, excerpts, gosh, dickinson, quick, argue, quarter, brings, happiness, familiar, tighter, risk, losing, darling, alone, stronger, calls, notices, sadness, welling, eyes, amazing, currents, hearing, efforts, futile, lose, grateful, roof, food, eat, ups, downs, throws, snapped, rut, call, longing, parents, lately, reach, daughter, front, weighing, miserable, supportive, thought, master, living, absolutely, had, perks, holiday, season, approaches, breaks, knowing, heaviness, pinned, chest, wait, sucked, cry, laugh, whine, sad, seek, physical, exhaustion, bathe, escape, begs, soft, cannot, screaming, strength, carry, catch, dodged, million, asked, noticed, capacity, function, given, rare, adult, lucky, done, shared, favorites, mundane, says, hungry, daily, mornings, otherwise, rant, agenda, milestone, stories, heartbreak, favorite, showers, stifled, giggles, exceeds, number, complaining, brief, drown, heartache, heard, conspiring, covers, helps, needing, wake, shines, shined, dance, understatement, describe, chaos, torn, wouldn, embody, simply, put, situation, celebrations, hoping, subsides, born, overflow, imagined, grow, afraid, consuming, dictates, saying, goodbye, allowed, power, weaknesses, grasping, straws, wholeness, deep, crave, gone, remember, aware, inevitable, count, streak, hits, closer, promises, better, becoming, physically, ill, looming, eager, promised, probably, ridiculous, idiot, suggesting, bit, unsure, punchline, tricks, stars, nauseous, stay, protect, price, avalanche, anticipating, exist, among, shivering, survival, frozen, path, happen, truth, sun, pounding, spilling, seemed, least, replaced, albeit, dark, chloe, michelle, howarth, sunburn, wants, talking, brave, sentence, patience, unsaid, grown, romance, anymore, wanted, room, honesty, conversations, playing, conveniently, conjured, fill, whatever, gaps, filling, attain, form, closure, particular, pulling, except, lingering, thoughts, easily, pushed, depths, spilled, merging, overlapping, harder, comes, feet, blisters, sorry, tmi, fact, complain, soothing, step, release, anyway, grounded, skip, search, menu,

Text of the page (random words):
n aware of the inevitable for a while now but as we count down the days and a streak hits its peak we re closer to what we ve been trying to avoid and maybe the long hours together and the promises of better days ahead has got us cooped up in our own bubble but reality is catching up and i can feel myself becoming physically ill from just thinking about everything that has been and everything that s looming ahead which we ve been so eager to avoid and now this ache continues to grow and i m afraid it is slowly consuming me in ways i never intended it to because if reality dictates we should be used to saying goodbye i should be good at this already no one is allowed to have this power over me but i m here i talk about weaknesses and how i don t have one and yet i m here grasping at straws as i try to keep it together i feel the wholeness of this ache i so wish to get rid of but know deep inside will also crave once gone because it might be the only thing i can hold on to to remember exactly how you made me feel here s to hoping this ache subsides while the love born from it continues to overflow in ways we could ve never imagined and as we always say i love you more than you ll ever know oh what about celebrations posted on april 25 by the ordinary mammal overwhelming is an understatement to describe the chaos of the night to be torn between emotions you wouldn t want fighting over your attention at the same time it is exhausting to be strong but you re going to hear a lot of people tell you how much you embody this simply because you were put in a situation you didn t really have a choice but to be in you don t have to be that now i hope tonight the darkness covers you with its warmth that even though you might be sleeping with a heavy heart the night helps calm your spirit to give you the respite that maybe you ve been needing for a while now and when you wake up i hope the light shines on you the same way you have shined your light on others thank you for allowing us to dance in your light i hope today showers you with more laughter and stifled giggles that it exceeds the number of times you hear children complaining in a day even for a brief moment let the noise of life around you drown out the uproar of heartache have you heard the universe is conspiring to give you exactly what you want but only if you believe it too because today we celebrate you and in every little shared moment of every day we get to have with you we celebrate your existence today we re just making a big deal but still my favorites will always be the mundane a glance that says i m hungry our daily good mornings even though we already know it s going to be otherwise a rant here and there hours together with no agenda at all a milestone and even stories of heartbreak it s all part of my favorite things we get to share because i get to be just me with you without having to worry you ll ever see me less than what i am and friendships like that are rare especially adult friendships i don t know but i really did get lucky with you i must have done something right in my life for god to allow me to have this with you oh what about this weight posted on april 22 by the ordinary mammal it s been really heavy today how long has it been here i never quite noticed maybe i got used to it already and today my body and spirit too i guess just doesn t have the capacity to function the way i want it to the way i will it too it has given up on me i need it to stop being this way i need it to be quiet there s too much noise in my head but my heart cannot stop screaming there s so much that i feel and too little strength left in me to carry on the way i am used to is this how it feels for life to catch up with you when you have constantly dodged the million times it has asked you to stop for a respite and just hold on to all those emotions so you can finally set it free it s too much do it now cry laugh whine be sad i can t do it i ve lost myself i seek pain but not this pain i need the physical pain and exhaustion that s easier to deal with i ll bathe myself in this just to escape the part of me that begs me to be soft there is no space for that right now but how do i get rid of the heaviness it s like someone has me pinned on the floor and my chest is getting crushed under their weight do i give in do i just wait for all of life to be sucked out of me because fighting seems too much of the ideal thing i need to sleep oh what about another year away posted on december 16 2023 by the ordinary mammal i thought it would get easier and for years i was right i ve even reached the point already of being a master of living away from my family and being absolutely okay about it being away from home this long has had its perks but as the holiday season approaches a part of me breaks knowing that the warmth of my family s presence is just something i ll have to let go of for now something snapped and it s been hard trying to get out of this rut if you can still call it that i ve been longing for my parents lately but i can t seem to allow myself to reach out to them i don t understand what the point is of keeping this strong daughter front when it has been weighing down on me and yet here we are quite miserable even as i m supposed to be surrounded by my supportive friends and there are days when i just want to give up already because efforts seem futile at this point i m supposed to not lose hope people are going to tell me that there s a lot to look forward to i have so much ahead of me and i should just be grateful i m alive and well and i have a roof over my head and good food to eat and even someone to share all the ups and downs this universe throws at me and i tell you she is amazing there is nobody else out there alive right now who can calm me down when the currents of my heart are at an uproar the way she does but how do i tell her that i am tired of being strong without making her worry about me i am tired of hearing people tell me that i am strong because it is exhausting when does it stop she calls me to bed but notices the sadness welling up in my eyes she knows well enough that i do not want to talk about it right now maybe when i m ready i guess we re back to crying ourselves to sleep oh what about the past year posted on june 30 2023 by the ordinary mammal july we take back the time we felt was lost the day before when you think about it it felt too quick and yet it felt exactly as it should be who else is going to argue with us the new quarter brings a new kind of happiness one that feels familiar but quite different the same hope is there but we try to hold on to it tighter for second chances seem like a miracle of its own we can t risk losing this again because fear lingers it always will but don t you worry my darling see what i did there love you will never be alone so let fear come because our love will always be stronger august a song plays and maybe it reminds you of me this month is supposed to be quiet some people say it s the ghost month the only ghosts here would be those of the past things that remind us of the most painful moments but also of the loveliest ones i guess that s what death does memories seem muddled but feelings are vivid there isn t a pun here but we did end up by someone s grave not just anyone but her grave i can feel her smiling down at us she knows how happy you make me we celebrate my life ironically in a cemetery laughing and crying and praying we brought her flowers you chose them they re as beautiful as both your souls i didn t think i d get to have this twice in my lifetime we read excerpts from your gift gosh dickinson would ve been proud september nobody would take you here and you still couldn t believe that it was happening we browse through hundreds of art once in a while the back of our hands shyly brushing until one of us would take the other s hand it still feels new but here we are basking in each moment and enjoying every single celebration and mishap together this is how it s going to be from now on this time we celebrate you i wish i could tell you exactly how much you mean to me to thank god for your existence would never be enough but what else is there to do i continue to pray that he gives you more years like this hopefully more healthy years together october we rode that magic carpet that one night laughing and not caring that we were making fools of ourselves we ran with friends who made us feel limitless and in all this darkness there was color you make me proud of this love my fear lessens over time we go off into an adventure that ends with vomit on the floor but i can still hear the laughter from that night the ringing still at the back of my head just sitting there to remind me that again this is what love is puking on the toilet and you holding my hair i know you will take care of me no matter how gross i get november click and then a smile we didn t get it the first time but from experience we re good with second chances yes a picture it s silly but you like it so it s a no brainer i take a sip it s a hot day but we re out and about with my original love a game a crowd a new person to talk about a win for me in all aspects even as it almost turned uncomfortable a culmination of runs but it was just the beginning for you what a feeling to cross that finish line and then there was dancing and speeches and a party at 8 in the morning here s to racing through life with you december we ve reached the end of the year there s sand in my hair and salt on my cheeks but your hand in mine is all that really matters there s comfort in the distance from our usual in places far from where we live we find solace and as we return there s a little hiccup up ahead the virus we ve all been trying to avoid right here on our doorstep their 12 days of christmas has got nothing on ours waking and shaking right next to each other in bed meals are simple but your presence makes it special what else could i ask for when home will always be where you are and the greatest gift your love these 12 days are priceless and they feel like a fever dream though i did have high fever one of those nights for they seem so distant already i still can t believe they happened and when the clock hit midnight on christmas eve you give me a kiss and we immortalize some moments with your our little one too january here we are with yet another new year as if the years just flip by as quickly as pages in a book but still with the same hopeful love there s music all around songs of space and planets and and love and finding a home i look towards you and yes i think to myself this is it i found it you no song will ever be able to capture this feeling inside that sometimes my heart feels like exploding volcanoes a poet wrote about and slowly we begin to wrap each other into the lives of one another allowing more into our little bubble thinking that here s to beginnings with the one i want until the very end february the music s too loud but our laughter rings louder here s a safe space for us and here we get bolder i hold your hand without fear all through til 4 in the morning who needs to celebrate valentine s when i get you every day you climbed the highest peak here and i raced through some mountain covered in sweat and mud and of course your love even from afar we found a new pawssion and looks like it s for long term hopefully longer than my headache when we randomly found ourselves in that theme park march a movie date here and there some time with our godson there s a lot you can find in a museum especially love if you look hard enough we find ourselves in an art gallery waiting for the next band to sing they play songs of love and there s you in my mind you rush home from a terrible trip and we re popping balloons at a bridal shower what a crazy weekend but here we are trying our best to thrive under the circumstances as disappointment lingers so did understanding here s to holding on for the other even on the worst of days especially on the worst of days april we watch one of my best friends get married to the love of her life a simple wedding in a little church with friends and family i used to wonder if i d still have that but looking at you from a distance now all i see is a future filled with love even on the hardest of days we spend 4 days cooped up somewhere momentarily forgetting the harsh parts of reality but reality always has a way of catching up and here we are left in moments where we feel broken you remind me that you re here for good especially on days i find it hard to love myself and we continue to dream of someday having our own little home with your green kitchen some flowers here and there and a couple of adopted pets we and others used to sing to and for may we find ourselves constantly hiding behind masks we can never remove when we re around them it s our only safety net and often it can get exhausting with you just an arm s length away but sometimes just a glance from you would be enough we remind each other why we do what we do the future if all goes well the next generation should be okay someday when we re both ready we ll make our dear friend part of our world ariel won t be the only one singing because i m sure she ll celebrate us too you re crazy enough to run 10km with me your longest run yet not counting the race you re already on when you decided to love me i know she s smiling not just for me but for you as well as we celebrate her she knew exactly what and who i needed she was always right june here we are training for something we re doing for the first time we ve got bruises all over but what s a little battle scar got on us right we watch a play that celebrates us and we find ourselves in a place that will always make me feel right at home you re exhausted from another run but ice cream is the key we hold hands without fear we are surrounded by love all over i attend pride for the first time and i m reminded of how blessed i am to have you i am proud of this love we don t owe the world anything but we do owe it to ourselves to bask in the everyday moments we get to share of course the big moments matter but like what they say aren t big things just little things all piled together or something like that someday all this fear will diminish and that s something worth looking forward to i m here beside you as the clock strikes midnight you know what that means july it s been a year come hold my hand and let s walk through more years together oh what about what we have posted on november 1 2022 by the ordinary mammal it s quiet my love the world around us continues to move fast unchanged by the decisions we make for ourselves it doesn t matter that i decide to hold your hand while we walked in a crowded street it doesn t matter that you tell me you love me every day stealing kisses when we can won t help with global warming a hug a glance a little inside joke only we understand won t cure cancer...