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Text of the page (random words):
uched ye sleeping hero s brow with a dab of purple tintillated lightning davy crockett rocketed to attention saluted angelic lulu gritted cruel cruel i m sorry david we have received for you a mission from god we must move quickly come in the blink of a black hole the flash of 1 000 stars so to speak they wisped across the bardo of our other more tranquil side of life and life and more life the euphoric discarnate side where we rest recuperate and are judged between lives and that s where the duo was now the judgment place which resembled a cathedral made of shining galaxies misty clouds wait here david i must go find bishop tumor polynesian phil no not them again c mon lulu where s jesus i never see jesus in due time coyly curved angelic lulu in due time david you re not spiritually evolved enough yet to see master jesus and poof she was gone a timeless moment later crockett observed 3 pecks of light floating way endlessly out yonder in ye expansive fathomless space tween little islands of incarnate breathing that space of no space no time called el bardo closer closer bigger more life like grew the 3 forms til davy with a forlorn sigh recognized that his judges had arrived the old dumpy dwarf bishop tumor the goo goo eyed block head polynesian phil and the irresistible lulu thank god for angelic lulu after a few informal howdy do s they commenced the judgment let us be brief lulu was impressed with crockett s love of family phil liked the way the frontiersman led about 100 volunteers in a tense highly justified desertion of general andrew jackson his regulars during a winter lull in the creek indian war and bishop tumor generally speaking thought crockett should go straight to hell well it doesn t matter one way or another admonished lulu with one eye brow demurely raised because david is going on a mission from god phil click clacked his wooden tongue excitedly the bishop boisterously guffawed but said nothing then out of el bardo no where moses appeared moses gaped crockett in a small voice ye olde patriarch s eyes were fierce like an eagle s and he rumbled like a bear david crockett ye are beseeched by god to reinstitute the 10 commandments in the united states of america so that a new generation knows right from wrong are you willing crockett stammered turned to lulu with a beggar s lack of coin a drip in his eye lulu threw back a haughty look that let him know she had no spare change for him so to speak and crossed her arms over her breasts c mon lulu help me out here begged crockett the divine damsel slightly smiled it is a mission from god david yeah but but whined crockett he fell to his knees i don t wanna go back to planet earth i wanna go back to sleeeeeeep he tearfully kissed lulu s knee davy she blushed then the desperate american folk hero sprang to his feet and took off running moses angelic lulu watched him futilely seek oblivion in el depthless bardo the 2 divinities looked with dismay at each other they slowly shook their heads i don t know what s wrong with him he used to be so brave sighed lulu he just has a case of jonah itis mused moses he ll be okay i ll sic the earth demon on him and ye olde patriarch raised his miracle staff in response a beam of brightness ricocheted thru a stained glass galaxy of the judgment place and transformationed into said demon a rollicking creature actually full of menace mischief resembling a dragon of medieval yore plus the critter was very large and swift the earth demon took off after crockett like a locomotive polynesian phil bishop tumor who were still hanging around clapped with glee although phil s clapping was a bit spastic since he was made out of wood angelic lulu more gently placed her hands together and prayed for poor crockett as he ran like a rabbit like a deer like a shock stricken squirrel thru the brush the gullies that weren t really there when the demon was close enough it hurled planet earth which it had been clutching in its claw at the back of crockett s head and the planet with all its dirt rock trees critters cities peoples rivers of joy valleys of sorrow plains of justice mountains of liberty this planet spun thru the bardo toward its target the back of davy s head as he rapidly fled then and then an awesome splash of light was all that was left of the panicked frontiersman our spinning football earth an instant later nothing nothing but the fabulous bardo was all around part two t hy kingdom come davy crockett reincarnated 52 now baby now pulled the makings outta his shirt pocket rolled himself a cigarette he leaned against a porch beam of veterans campus ye olde historical root lit up inhaled gratefully t was a crispy sunday morning in the early spring of 2003 he was trapped now baby now by lady poverty in this live in facility that assisted homeless military veterans in their heroic transition into a formidable workforce crockett still didn t have a real job he d been slacking here for nearly 2 years but it wasn t his fault he slowly exhaled before his raggedy face a meandering smoke sculpture of an angel with a halo around her head with a trumpet pressed in a most immaculate fashion to her lips how amazing whispered the eternal frontiersman under his breath to whatever invisible entities might be hanging around how d i do that now baby now across the asphalt parking lot plaza the head honcho of this transitional zone stepped out of his office gazed up at the clear blue sky as if having spied something strange floating around up there then he shrugged got into his truck drove out the gate which was attended by homeless military veteran fire guards wearing neck ties the brief appearance of this gentleman got crockett to thinking about his failed campaign for mayor of the queen city of the rio grande how close he had come to winning the election how it had been foiled by this uh gentleman who d just driven out the gate this crusty old javilina who was none other than andrew jackson god have mercy reincarnated the eternal frontiersman had already had in his previous life time enough of this crusty critter as an unreasonable hot headed general a cheatin lyin political opponent the shadow of what crockett took to be a jet or a crow or plain irritation crossed his brow as he remembered more recent events sure the campaign had been somewhat of a rickety old jalopy so to speak but it had got to rollin and although crockett was a penniless stranger to the city he knew he could have won the election yes sir that is if andrew jackson reincarnated hadn t thrown this politically ambitious program of crockett s out the window and with lies deceit fandango ed him instead into fire watch 12 hours a night 5 nights a week at the rs vp office how could crockett run an adequately cranked up campaign for the best job in the city when he then had to stumble around everyday a graveyard shift zombie the eternal frontiersman foamigated into a seizure of coughing he staggered over to a trash can spat into it several times returned to his supportive porch beam against which he leaned once more he inhaled more tobbacky smoke into his trembling lungs not so gratefully this time and what the albushmurkee was that floating above crockett s head it looked like a weathered wooden ammo box descending from heaven perhaps carried by a couple of invisible cherubs and finally placed at crockett s feet a breeze carelessly caressed his cheek and ye olde settler felt so mysteriously meek what in the name of saint pete was going on here looks like you got special delivery davy announced frank joe hardy a resident of veterans campus who had 2 first names he happened to have been strolling by in his church clothes when the box landed now he stood along side crockett peering dubiously down at it on the top of the box which was oblong these words were written to davy crockett reincarnated from angelic lulu yeeeap that s definitely special delivery said hardy crockett had nothing to say which you might call speechless well you going to open it it s addressed to you said hardy crockett squatted undid the simple latch lifted the lid which had squeaky hinges he stood back inside were two stone tablets with writing on them crockett gulped strange memories began stirring the biscuit mix in his brain but he wasn t quite sure what was frying i am the lord your god you shall not have strange gods before me read out loud another resident who went by the name of gon weeners who had approached out of curiosity had been standing there for some time my god said hardy that s the 10 commandments you just received the 10 commandments from heaven davy crockett scratched his head and had a sudden urge to run away but didn t destiny he mumbled wha chorused hardy weeners about 7 or 8 more residents in their church clothes rags who had curiously gathered around crockett looked up beheld that he was surrounded by homeless dry drunk abstaining crack head military veterans who were all never do wells of absolutely no account it s my destiny explained crockett in a voice many many miles away he blinked why should you fellers care why don t you all leave me alone yeah but but you just received the 10 commandments from heaven said frank joe hardy who you may remember had two first names it s a miracle added gon weeners there were roughly 30 residents of veterans campus gathered around now that s about half the people who lived in the place which incidently was a spread out 100 room ex motel that had been partially refurbished by other homeless veterans who had come gone anyway the residents began voicing their opinions resonately until finally one of them michael jackson a buff unemployed boxer from boston said whahhh don t yuh jus go to a skoo somewheh hang dem dings in duh fwont of a classwoom n be done wit em davy wha said crockett jackson repeated himself more or less and did so about 3 or 4 times that s a good idea said crockett he tossed his cigarette butt into a nearby tin can lifted the two tablets which were made of sinai stone out of the box here he thrust the stone tablets at jackson you do it davy hold on spoke up hardy he extended one hand in a pleading manner they were delivered to you so you should do it yeah damn democrat said weeners who was republican a damn republican now there were about 50 curious residents gathered around here and they all started voicing their opinions louder louder and they all had the same opinion that is that davy should hang up the 10 commandments in a wilson middle school classroom which could be found nearby on san pedro avenue and we ll all go with you to make sure you do it right declared james praitoree a french immigrant from texas his sidekick an artist also from texas wil gauguin slapped crockett on the back hollered let s go patriots all the suddenly god fearing homeless veterans pushed out the gate before them the dubious davy crockett who verily verily reluctantly cradled in his arms the laws of almighty jehovah and without signing out alleluia alleluia antonio lopez de santa anna remember the alamo remember who led the mexican army that killed all the defenders of the alamo reincarnated and 2nd in command at veterans campus came running out of his office hollering hey banditos none of you signed out you re all getting extra doo teeeeeee santa anna s words bounced off the neo empty walls faded away so much mulch in the wind carmelita granada 1 of 2 worried women staying at the campus caught up to crockett at the head of the marching column down the sidewalk a ways she handed him a coonskin cap long barreled flint lock musket she said these also were in the box from heaven but nobody noticed thank you carmelita stonily said crockett as he shuffled along he handed the 10 commandments to somebody else donned the cap hoisted the musket this too the little latina pulled from around her neck a dangling powder horn gave it to him and this she poured several small lead balls into the palm of crockett s hand here s some more she almost whispered as she poured some more into his other palm thank you carmelita good luck davy she then took off back to the compound all the marching men noted that carmelita seemed pretty plump these days which was kind of strange for a woman who claimed to be of the 3rd persuasion never the less she was a cute little stinker they also noted as waving adios she flurried by the ringed tail of the coonskin cap on crockett s head swayed back n forth in such away now baby now that all the homeless veterans marching behind this crown of the column couldn t help but burst out in jubilant song and as the swinging raccoon tail kept the beat this is what they sang off down the street he s sneakin along gettin all embarrassed as we sing this song he s gonna show em what s right so they won t do wrong an he s startin to shine as we spirit him along davy davy crockett king of the wild frontier san pedro avenue led them to the back of wilson middle school where they brutally broke down the fence continued marching singing across the athletic field then ferociously smashed in the door to a classroom bungalow it was indeed an ethereal sunday morning then after they solved a few complications and then after too much ballyhoo and thennnnnnn crockett hung up the 10 commandments in the front of the classroom there said he they all hurrahed and forgot to pray on their way out of the bungalow a young police officer standing tall square in their path pulled his revolver and davy crockett realized he hadn t loaded his musket yet and the perfect knee of angelic lulu suddenly explosively was illuminated in his memory as the cop shot him in the forehead a bull s eye you re all under arrest baritoned the cop fifty homeless veterans stood still still and silent as death the mass media of the united states and of the entire world grabbed the ball and ran with the story a subsequent tumult of debate led to legislative change in washington d c it became legal to hang the 10 commandments in the front of every classroom in the public schools of america as long as the bill of rights was hanging next to them after that with these two origins of law glaring back at them the young men women in the classrooms of the 1 super power bully nation of the planet knew exactly what their rights were what was right what was wrong meanwhile women of all ages all over the country became infactuated with homeless veterans because of the handsome way the residents of veterans campus had helped crockett fulfill his destiny as reported in the media but before all that happened there was davy crockett reincarnated s funeral they held it in the little park that james praitoree wil gauguin had just built planted in the middle of the asphalt parking lot plaza of veterans campus in the middle of crockett s funeral a helicopter piloted by russ hyder an ex resident of the campus landed next to the park and out stepped u s president george w bush on a break from his avengement of september...