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t s them unfortunately the script by aubrey k rattan hit list doesn t do anything beyond trudging through the most basic tropes you expect and cohen doesn t manage to find much energy momentum or style in it much less humor unsurprisingly but crucially the score by vladimir horunzhy elves could not hold a candle to the worst and most generic of 70s studio musician jams and the modern songs we hear bits of don t do much even though they got ice t geto boys and mc ren to contribute this movie has the most famous faces of the genre but not a single drop of the juice read the rest of this shit may 12th 2026 4 comments twister may 10 1996 they re scientists but they re cowboys and they follow the wind when they get the call they strut and they smile at each other knowingly as they hop into their jeeps and trucks slam on the gas and hurtle toward the danger thinking nothing of it except ha ha what a fun time we re having here they playfully exchange lingo filled banter over the cb as they look up to the sky or down to the dots on their computer screens they each have their own quirks and their own styles of musical accompaniment and their own ways of yelling wahoo in the face of god s mighty wrath they are the wildpeople of weather the maniacs of meteorology the tornado terrorists the thunder jockeys the doppler demons the hell s angels of nerds they are the storm chasers and they absolutely will not stop ever until they deploy their new device designed to release hundreds of small floating sensors into a tornado to measure it from the inside and obtain data that could potentially help improve early storm warning systems in the future read the rest of this shit may 11th 2026 22 comments one spoon of chocolate one spoon of chocolate the new movie written and directed by the rza is a little bit deranged i say that in a neutral way i kind of like that it s crazy but i don t overall think it s a movie that works when i describe what it s about to you it s going to sound like a pulpy exploitation movie a 70s style revenge thriller with a modern get out type edge something that could ve been branded as part of a grindhouse double feature if those had become an ongoing concern like v h s in fact it has a quentin tarantino presents credit and an appearance by red apple cigarettes but most of the time the tone is very earnest kinda dour sometimes feeling like a psa and when the hero finally gets to fight the lead villain the score by tyler bates and the rza chooses not to hype us up like it s the big pay off but just give us some synth textures like it s sad it s kind of a downer read the rest of this shit may 7th 2026 2 comments the pallbearer may 3 1996 the pallbearer is not a movie i was interested in in 1996 because it was as far as i could tell a romcom starring david schwimmer i didn t even watch friends why would i branch into his cinematic efforts but 30 years later i was curious because it turns out this is the directorial debut of one matt reeves whose subsequent works have been the following cloverfield let me in dawn of the planet of the apes war for the planet of the apes and the batman apparently he also created and directed 5 episodes of a television show called felicity and it would be interesting to know if this kind of has a similar feel in many ways including the way it integrates the score by stewart copeland fresh but you d have to asks someone else for that information i only know that i liked all of those movies he directed as well as his one credit prior to this under siege 2 dark territory which he co wrote with richard hatem reeves debut here is produced by his pal j j abrams credited as jeffrey abrams and written with jason katims a story editor from my so called life who later developed roswell and worked on friday night lights with its ugly poster and dvd cover i always pictured the pallbearer as some shitty uncinematic comedy reeves would be embarrassed of but actually it s a good looking indie type of movie shot on location in new york by motherfuckin robert elswit who had already done hard eight and would go on to not only shoot most of paul thomas anderson s other movies but also michael clayton redbelt the town nightcrawler and many other fine films the guy seems to know camera stuff pretty good in my opinion so it looks like a real movie read the rest of this shit may 6th 2026 18 comments the craft legacy the craft legacy is in my opinion a remaquel it technically takes place after the events of the 1996 film with new characters but the basic setup is intentionally a repeat and the sequel part plays like it was meant to be a surprise at the very end i believe that if they cut that scene and the subtitle then everyone would ve accepted this as just a remake with some nice twists and changes in details whatever you want to call it it works best as a companion piece a compare and contrast exercise and there s quite a bit that lines up once again we have a new girl moving to town with her single parent she befriends the three outsider girls who are in need of a fourth person for their witch s circle they successfully cast some spells on their tormenters including a mean jock boy who she causes to start following her around being nice to her a small difference is that it s not a catholic school this time so they get to be straight up goth without taking liberties with the school uniform a bigger difference is that the newcomer s family is central to the story read the rest of this shit may 5th 2026 4 comments the craft i saw the craft when it came out 30 years ago i m a little younger than the actors so i was a little older than the characters and thought i was above it going to see it for a laugh this is what they think teens think is cool ha ha ha but i was not as removed from that life as i imagined i was i was practically the target audience i just didn t want to admit it watching it now of course there s an added layer of nostalgia for when music sounded like that even though that wasn t the stuff i was listening to for when i would definitely have had a crush on nancy even though she s a psycho and rochelle is way nicer and prettier for when they made movies like this which is code for when i was young and the horizon was widening instead of narrowing the good old days obviously i know i ve seen bits of it on cable over the years but i think this is the first time i ve seen it in full since the theater it s an interesting type of teen horror because it s not a body count movie and it doesn t exactly have an antagonist it s timeless teenage girl material like the sisterhood of girls who don t fit in at school revenge against bullies and exploitative boys etc and then they add the supernatural into that i guess you could say some of that about carrie though couldn t you so maybe it was nothing new but in 1996 it felt a little different to not have a freddy to worry about we are the freddys mister read the rest of this shit may 4th 2026 22 comments apex apex is a solid made for netflix picture nice looking to the point occasionally surprising and a good showcase for its star who happens to be one of my favorites when i revisited æon flux recently i mentioned how ever since that movie i ve thought of charlize theron as one of those rare actors who s exactly as serious about the physical performance as the emotional and excels at both so you know she wins an oscar for throwing herself into monster and then when she does atomic blonde she goes just as hard at fight training and stunt work as she did at portraying the inner life of a serial killer here she says you know what i m gonna learn how to climb rocks i m gonna climb so many rocks in this movie not that that s the entire topic her character sasha enjoys extreme sports in the opening she and her husband tommy the motherfuckin hulk eric bana are tandem climbing the troll wall in norway you know climbing until they get tired hanging a tent from the side at night it s fucking terrifying who does that sasha and tommy that s who though tommy is getting wary that maybe he s past his prime read the rest of this shit april 30th 2026 11 comments the christophers the christophers is the latest steven soderbergh ed solomon collaboration after the mini series mosaic and full circle and the movie no sudden move and it s another great one it feels weird to say that it might be the best of them because it s so simple in its elements it revolves around two characters talking in one location it could definitely work as a play but it feels much bigger than presence soderbergh s 2024 limited location movie that could absolutely only work as a movie it contains many marks of a soderbergh movie the efficient editing the david holmes score the elevation of a really interesting but not yet superstar actor a confidence in the audience being able to figure things out but it doesn t feel like a repeat in a way it s a caper movie but not at all like out of sight or an ocean s or logan lucky it s a serious character drama but i laughed quite a bit it s full of suspense and twists but i wouldn t call it a thriller it s a story that brings up ideas about art and people but in ways that aren t too specific for us to interpret and puzzle over like one of the paintings the movie is about and if you enjoy the powerhouse acting i came out thinking no one will see this and ian mckellen will still get nominated and that michaela coel might deserve one in a role that s more about just reacting to him read the rest of this shit april 29th 2026 1 comment older entries hey bud thanks for reading don t feel obligated but here are some ways you can support the shit out of vern outlawvern com if that s your thing 1 patreon toss me a couple bucks a month support the good shit also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing this is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job thank you 2 buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody amazon com widgets click here for my amazon author page note my ten year contract has passed on the titan books so i don t get residuals on them like i do worm on a hook and niketown but i would love for you to read them because i m proud of them extra credit review them on amazon that would really help me out unless you didn t like them in which case forget i said anything 3 if you ever buy from amazon go through my links or search engines you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice i also have an amazon uk one amazon co uk widgets i can t get the search box widget to work anymore so click on moonwalker and then search for what you want 4 my exciting line of fashion and leisure products i get a couple bucks per item you get a cool t shirt mug or lifestyle item 5 spread the word tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything only cool people though please we don t need a bunch of suckers and or chumps around here thanks everybody your friend vern recent commentary and jibber jabber curt on mortal kombat ii i apologize for adding to the sequel that s being made with the understanding that nobody liked the first one very may 14 14 57 curt on dead man lance henriksen was of course in both aliens and alien 3 so we do in fact have the first four may 14 14 48 burningambulance on dead man william and nobody also encounter some trappers named salvatore sally jenko iggy pop tank girl benmont tench jared harris natural may 14 14 27 kevin w on mortal kombat ii would undisputed 2 qualify as that type of sequel the original isn t hated exactly but it doesn t seem to be may 14 13 39 zikade on mortal kombat ii mmmm sequels that have something to prove is just a giant list of comic book movies honestly the incredible hulk may 14 13 35 mr majestyk on mortal kombat ii it s one of those sequels that s being made with the understanding that nobody liked the first one very much may 14 12 32 borg9 on dead man yeah i love this one too jarmusch does indeed seem to have real respect for genre film making and film may 14 03 17 cj holden on dead man this was my first jarmusch movie it was on tv pretty often and one day after work i just blind may 13 22 37 hammer time on original gangstas i forget if it was ebert who said that a mark of a bad movie is if you d rather watch may 13 20 46 hammer time on twister vern all of your reviews are great but i feel like you were really on the jazz with this one may 13 20 39 jts on twister helen hunt played rafael casal s mom in the blindspotting tv show that casal and diggs co created which came out in may 13 19 53 bob vila on dead man 20 or so years ago this guy raife a dour russian lit major said he had a great movie he may 13 19 16 alex r on dead man this is a great review i ve never thought of the acid western anti western distinction but it s definitely acid i haven t seen may 13 16 36 mr majestyk on twister hunt was in three trancers movies so twister doesn t seem like that much of a stretch to me may 13 12 54 alex r on twister rra mentioned that hunt and paxton hated each other which reminded me that in the universal studios attraction the actors may 13 12 39 recent commented on posts mortal kombat ii dead man original gangstas twister kill the craft the pallbearer terminator 2 judgment day 30th anniversary revisit michael jackson the immortal world tour apex mission impossible redline 2009 they will kill you æon flux project hail mary most comments jurassic world rebirth 90 comments send help 26 comments twister 22 comments the flintstones in viva rock vegas 22 comments the craft 22 comments kpop demon hunters boys go to jupiter 22 comments the wrecking crew 2026 21 comments heart eyes 20 comments the pallbearer 18 comments war machine 2026 16 comments badass studies badass cinema the badass 100 outlaw awards 1999 outlaw awards 2000 reviews index alphabetical by release year timeline topics by year dtv slashers icons arnold schwarzenegger bruce willis clint eastwood dolph lundgren jean claude van damme nicolas cage steven seagal steven spielberg sylvester stallone wesley snipes topics of note 3d adventure arnold schwarzenegger australian cinema blaxploitation bruce bruce willis cannon films christmas christmas horror clint eastwood danny trejo dolph lundgren dtv dtv sequels george lucas ghosts hip hop jason statham jcvd marvel comics mel gibson michael jai white netflix nicolas cage ninjas post apocalypse remakes revenge robots sam raimi samuel l jackson samurai scott adkins seagalogy slashers slasher search steven spielberg summer of 98 summer of 1985 summer of 1991 sylvester stallone vampires wesley snipes zombies literature elmore leonard official websight hard case crime the violent world of parker titan books the films of cinema billy jack cannon films archive direct to video connoisseur dolph ultimate kiai kick kung fu cinema man with no name com motion captured moving picture trash richard pryor steven seagal s official sight th...