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ecked in contractions were still 10 15 minutes apart and fairly mild pete and i kept looking at each other saying how strange this was this labor was nothing like the last 2 an hour or so passed with contractions i could breathe through i would slowly breathe air out through my mouth take a quick breath back in through my nose then slowly exhale and repeat until the contraction passed pete massaged my hands with peppermint lotion in between contractions which was a nice distraction the hospital had a birthing ball so i decided to try sitting on that and i never got off in between contractions i circled around on it as i sat and it felt like a massage on my hips when contractions started coming with more intensity i put my hands on my legs closed my eyes bowed my head down and eventually started humming through the contractions it felt like i was meditating letting out a long deep hmmmmmm over and over until the contraction was through then ending with a long exhale all the while thinking about my cervix opening up and the baby getting lower i tried hard to work with my body and let it do what it needed to do but felt very in control at the same time as contractions grew more intense my closed mouth hummmm turned into a low pitched uuuuhhhh but i still felt like the pressure and intensity were manageable i felt like i needed to pee so went and sat on the toilet and immediately had a contraction and felt like the baby s head was really starting to bear down when i was done and got up i was barely able to waddle back over to the ball pete held my hand as every step took effort i felt extremely uncomfortable i then resumed my position on the ball and within a couple more contractions my body started pushing i knew it was close but the pushing contractions took me a little by surprise i was expecting to go through transition and get a short break before the pushing started but my body went straight from an intense contraction to pushing pushing while sitting on the ball was almost unbearable the ball was pushing up and the baby was pushing down but i couldn t move during the contraction my uuuuhhhh s grew much louder and i quickly told the nurse that i thought i was ready to push as soon as i could move i took my skirt off and crawled onto the bed onto my hands and knees in the same position i delivered sam and will i felt completely removed from everyone else and in my own little world and knew the end was near the nurse asked a couple times if i wanted the doctor to check me and see if i was at a 10 my first answer was what then what did you say and i never answered my brain couldn t process the question or at least couldn t generate a response before i knew it my body was pushing again i was yelling with my face smothered in the pillow and i could feel my perineum start to stretch meanwhile pete was reassuring me by telling me how well i was doing and cheering me on which helped a lot after one series of pushes there was a short break with the next series of pushes and a lot more yelling into the pillow i was able to push out the head quickly followed by the body and then the relief and what a relief it was i was so happy to have our baby girl here the doctor immediately handed me the baby through my legs then i rolled onto my back so i could snuggle with this sweet babe she was beautiful and perfect what a miracle truly a miracle posted by jessica jackson at thursday august 25 2016 2 comments the days go by my days go by so fast lately i feel like so much is packed into every day and find myself wanting to record so many things that happen or things that the kids say but then never quite get around to it and of course after a few days or weeks those memories fade as they are replaced by new ones but i guess it s not always about remembering everything in the past it s about living in the moment and enjoying life as it happens deep i know today was a pretty normal day woke up to sam crying at 5 45 got him a bottle and laid him in bed with pete so i could make the kids lunches and get breakfast ready woke up the kids at 6 15 for breakfast and scriptures followed by each of the older 3 practicing piano before before rushed out the door for school then pete was off to work and i was off to the ymca with the younger two to workout when i got home i had big plans for the day as usual laundry grocery shopping cleaning the house scheduling a time to get our car fixed i recently backed into a car across the street all really fun things so instead of doing all the things that needed to get done to make our family house routine run smoothly i chose to not do any of those things and i made a shelf to go above our stove to hold fruits and vegetables it was one of those projects that was supposed to take an hour and then took 3 one of those projects that completely consumed me and that i wanted to throw away after 2 1 2 hours because it still wasn t turning out the way i wanted it to then will started saying mom you should just take a break but i couldn t because i was so close to finishing sam wanted me to hold him half the time and by the time the older boys were on their way home from school tools and wood were scattered all over the kitchen the rest of the house was a mess and i still had nothing to show for it grrrr i really was frustrated but i did end up getting the dang shelf up and i really am quite pleased with how it turned out but probably not worth ignoring my kids for a couple hours for we ate an early dinner took john to soccer practice then met pete at home for family home evening it was a really fun night john prepared his own lesson on baptism and renewing our covenants when we take the sacrament he owned it he has the sweetest spirit and such a good heart then we made pumpkin donuts for dessert and dipped leaves in beeswax for the activity i love the fall john pulled out the game zobmondo a question game while waiting for the donuts to get done the game has would you rather questions and you have to pick which thing you would rather do would you rather be stuck in the forest and have to eat a teaspoon of termites or eat a live dragonfly as pete and i were working on the donuts we heard daniel in the other room reading one of the cards would you rather be in constant pain during se seeex what s sex or have a what s that pete and i looked at each other and waited then daniel said let s just go to the next one whoops not child approved later when we were all together dan read some more would you rather live in a house with no windows or no doors pete and i both said definitely no doors we couldn t live without the light and would climb through the windows daniel finally agreed and said he would definitely want windows because if it snowed a lot you might not be able to open your door and wouldn t have any windows to crawl out of good point dan then he read the next one would your rather be really smart and really boring or really dumb but funny and entertaining joe didn t even have to think twice he confidently replied dumb and funny posted by jessica jackson at monday october 26 2015 1 comment here we go again pete told me he d be on cleanup duty for dinner tonight and said i was free to go upstairs and rest so i m taking him up on his offer seeing if i can write a quick 10 minute update boy a lot has happened in the last couple months we enjoyed a wonderful week in bear lake with the marcum family tubing hiking rope swinging sailing playing on the beach 4 wheeling fire works shakes chatting reading and finishing the day off with a game of mafia or the name game it was so nice to be with everyone mckenzie had just recently gotten back from her mission in california and everyone else traveled from all corners of the country to make it the week of course flew by and was over way too fast the next two weeks were spent in salt lake pete flew back to boston to work and i stayed with his parents and spent a lot of time with his siblings and friends we went up to park city a couple of times to swim played at nearby parks did a few hikes and helped lizzie with wedding preparations we finished off our trip out west with a week in san diego spent a lot of time at the beach john and dan mastered boogie boarding james rented a surf board a couple times we went on some beautiful runs spent a day at the san diego zoo and finished with lizzie and jason s wedding rehearsal dinner on a ship sealing at the temple ring ceremony at a park overlooking the beach and dinner on a patio a few hundred yards away it really was a picture perfect setting and a lot of thought went into every detail it was a busy exhausting exciting and fun day so so happy for those two so here we are finally back at home i feel like we hit the ground at a sprint we had only one day to recover and unpack before school started and are now in the thick of the busyness that comes with school sports church events and piano it s not a good sign that i m already looking forward to next summer i really do love summer but in a way it s good to be busy again life feels purposeful and the kids enjoy any downtime they have it s been interesting ever since we got back one week ago no one has really asked for movies or screen time the kids are so good at finding fun things to do together it s not unusual to come downstairs and find john and dan playing a card game will dressed up ready for battle looking for someone to fight or joe playing quietly with the zoob pieces creating all sorts of crazy things when they get bored with those things they ll all run out and hop on the bikes doing lap after lap around the dead end street i often look at each one of the boys and think how much work it was getting each of them here and how much physical sacrifice those first couple of years were and how happy i am that i have each of them and that they have each other so worth it posted by jessica jackson at sunday september 06 2015 no comments summer it s been a really great start to the summer i really love summer i love not feeling stressed to get the kids to bed at a certain time and letting them sleep in as long as they want or until they re woken up by noisy brothers i love waking up to an unscheduled day and letting the kids determine what we do and where we go i love being able to go outside without helping anyone put on a jacket or boots or gloves or a hat i love spending the day at the pool or a park with friends i love going to the library and helping the kids pick out good books i love weekends with pete around camping or swimming or hiking by the end of the summer i m usually ready to get back to more order and routine but for now i am thoroughly enjoying these lazy and carefree summer days sam is at such a fun age he s not walking yet but he loves to climb he has now mastered climbing on top of the kitchen table and would play up there all day if i would let him he s up and down the stairs a lot following his brothers wherever they go he s taken a few good falls but i m pretty sure the falls have made him more cautious and careful he knows what happens if he slips or goes too fast he s my sammy my sam baby my sam bam and my bam bam and i love him to pieces will currently lives for playing the ipad and being naked most mornings he wakes up wanting the ipad it really drives me crazy i often find him hiding under a blanket or under a table with the ipad playing games and i don t normally keep the ipad out he ll go to great lengths to find it often climbing on top of the kitchen counter and getting it down from on top of the fridge or sneaking into my room to search for it i pretty much only have educational games on there so i don t feel too bad about it but if will gets to play then of course all of his brothers insist on playing being naked is his other passion when he changes clothes he makes sure to announce to everyone that he is naked i m naked this especially bothers joe so will makes an extra effort to go find joe and tell him joe i m naked tonight he had a little accident in his underwear after i told him multiple times to go potty in the toilet so was left with no bottoms after he peed it was mostly because of my laziness to go get him new underwear but he happily spent the rest of the evening wearing nothing playing in the sandbox eating dinner and wrestling with his brothers he fought me when i finally made him get on pajamas this has been a big summer for joe he has mastered the 2 wheeler and has learned how to swim my goal for him was to be able to jump into the water and swim to the side by himself and he finally did it last week we went to the ymca outdoor pool and i had him go with pete to the deeper end where he couldn t touch to practice he did it on his first attempt and was so proud of himself joe can be very cautious and careful when trying new things can t be pushed and has to go at his own pace but once he tries something and realizes he can do it he takes off joe will also be starting piano lessons in the fall i m so excited for this but i actually think he might be even more excited than me i ve been teaching him since february and he s doing really well but i m really excited to see where he can go with a private teacher who actually knows what she s doing daniel came up with an ongoing bike challenge for john and joe they do laps around our dead end street and back up to our house to earn a random toy from the drawer under his bed for each level they add on one more lap john and joe are both up to 17 laps i feel like dan is kind of the bridge between john and joe he still loves to play legos and make believe with joe but is old enough to go along with pete and john on little adventures pete took them biking on the minuteman trail last week and is planning a camping trip with them this weekend john got wrapped up in harry potter this last school year and has brought all of us into it as well he is currently reading the 7th and last book has us all listening to the 3rd book on cd and just finished watching the 4th i often catch john combing his hair he ll get it all wet slick it to the side then put a little wave in the front he did his hair like this in a grocery store restroom yesterday before we went shopping but most often does it right before bed i ve been on a major decluttering and organizing kick lately i ve heard a lot about the books essentialism the disciplined pursuit of less and the life changing magic of tidying up and have the audio books on hold at the library without even reading them which i can hardly wait to i have gone through all our clothes books toys and kitchen stuff and boxed up everything we don t use anymore or never did use or don t need my bedroom has bins of kids clothes everywhere and piles of clothes to get rid of in the corners in our basement i have 6 large boxes full of toys clothes books and kitchen stuff ready to be donated it feels so good you really don t need much to be happy in fact i think we are all hap...