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Text of the page (random words):
piglet monster s blog just another wordpress com weblog piglet monster s blog just another wordpress com weblog aaaagh october 30 2009 i think the picture speaks for itself that bloody vc dragged me up to the lick district and pulled me up and down mountains and made me sleep in a ratty tent in gale force winds on a scrotty little mat with nothing but a fleece a down gilet and her down smock to keep me warm wtf now i ve lost fur and developed scabs on the front of my legs and there s a tick embedded in the side of my face we re off to the vet in 40 minutes and that s sure to mean poking and pulling and indignity still there might be a chance to sniff at some cats and dogs in the waiting room maybe there ll be a treat as a reward when i get home posted in backpacking vet leave a comment exciting off to licks in soft shell soon october 14 2009 me in my smart new kit heheh i managed to arrange for a very long walk in the lick district by doing a lot of whining and perfecting my please take me for a walk look vc has a lot of kit and it doesn t seem fair that i haven t and so i did some fairly sophisticated shivering on a few recent walks as a result of which i ve managed to guilt vc into buying me a new softshell garment and since i don t like that nasty collar thing i also insisted on a padded harness hee hee next i plan to steal vc s debit card and order my own gps online once i ve done that i m going to plan a long walk down to b ham to visit my beau buster posted in backpacking kit leave a comment trip to the lick district and ascent of scarefall pike september 19 2009 me on scarefall pike i finally managed to extract the vc from her comfy chair in front of the computer and drag her up to the lick district a few days ago it was lots of fun and i ran all the way to the top of scarefall pike the vc turned purple and i thought she was going to have a heart attack i was a bit worried about that because she was carrying all the food so i stopped for a bit of a rest on the top to give her a chance to calm down while she was resting i managed to open the top of the ruff sack and get out the biscuits yum burp i d selected a camping spot by a tarn in advance of the trip and when we got there i lay down and began to shiver to make the vc think that i was cold and exhausted it was all a ploy to get into her down smock though if she thinks i m going to make do with some girly polartec bed suit then she has another think coming me pretending to be exhausted heheh we re back at home now and i ve been reunited with my rat and the cat as soon as the vc goes to the bathroom what does she do in there i wonder i m going to make an assault on the kibble grrrrrrrrrrrr posted in backpacking 1 comment my pome about the cat september 16 2009 browsing the web recently when the vc was down in the kitchen doing something with dishes i read that not all dogs like cats wtf i know piss piss can be a bit of a trial but i love her really and so i wrote her a pome here it is heh me and piss piss i have a cat called piss piss we sleep on shirley s bed i try to lick her whiskers but she claws me on my head i like to lick her bum as well she isn t very keen i don t know why she hisses i m just trying to keep her clean she eats a lot of kit e cat it really isn t right i ve tried to take it off her but it ends up in a fight i found her sleeping in my crate and tried to pull her out she cried so i pulled harder but then shirl began to shout i have to go and chase her now she s smirking from the door she ll jump up on the table but i ll catch her on the floor i love my puss puss really and i think she loves me too and at least when she s stopped eating i can eat up all her poo piglet aged 9 months and 9 days posted in piss piss pomes 2 comments more filez september 15 2009 me and my rat me to m2 dear m2 i was reading over m1 s shoulder when your email arrived and noticed your use of the phrase bacon sandwich i ve heard that before but m1 refuses to tell me what it is i asked the cat but she just shrugged and turned away licking her lips what s it all about oh heheheheh and i put my puke puke puke plan into action last night that ll teach m1 to refuse me a bit of her tea heheheheh i have a crap crap crap plan in reserve for next time somebody comes to look around the house your loving wee scout xxxxxxxxxxxxxx m2 to me dear sweet scout i feel you re a little young to be told about such things suffice it to say it involves not only bacon but two sausages as well pay no attention to piss piss she just pretending she has no idea she just thinks a bacon sandwich is a bacon sandwich she s too literal you plan is being v well accomplished i could tell you were planning something cunning when i saw your picture with the rat btw does he have a name you must be a little careful and not let your evil face be captured on film because when the ultimate plan is executed we don t want any incriminating evidence of your insipient insanity to be disclosed now do we your loving tutor m2 xxxxxx posted in bacon chat with m2 leave a comment piglet filez september 15 2009 me and m2 when the vile camper went walking in scotland last may i went to stay with m2 she and m1 chatted about me in texts what a cheek just look at this crap i think they must be nutz thursday 7th may m1 en route to torridon m1 how is my wee darling dee who oh you mean my new babe dibley scout is a happy little bunny major prob at feeding time b b wanted burns and pm wanted bakers will feed at separate times tomorrow or maybe give my two sardines too m1 poor wee dibley scout pls give her a kiss from me and a wee smack of her little bum she enjoys that on train to strathcarron now kissy kissy to b b thurday 7th may arrived at torridon dee pm now back to being your babe she keeps weeing on the bath mat at least it s in the bathroom have you told her she s an uman beink m1 eep sorry about the weeing on the nar m1 oops meant to type something else there have been soaked and am now eating chocu kate i am so tired fell asleep texting you kiss for monster xxx dee no probs she s probably picked up the habit from you since you piddle in strange places too she s asleep on my feet under the desk hope the weather s not too bad and the mountain range doesn t scream too much dee pm says night night mummy m1 night night piglet xxx friday 8th may craig m1 dear pm i hear you ve been peeing on the bath mat naughty wee monster i wish to hear of no further such behaviour if it continues we may need to stop your rusk ration mummy sends kiss and cuddle and also for b b xxx me dear mummy i m trying to be very good but it s hard when b b are leading me astray i am ingratiating myself with aunty dee just like you said it s working your loving puppy pm xxx m1 dearest pm mummy sends kiss and a wee smack feeling sure you ll benefit from one have you stolen all of b b s toys yet i hope you re eating all your greens and drinking plenty of water no peeing indoors or else xxx xxx xxx mummy xxx xxx xxx dee it s official pm loves buster it s an all consuming sexual passionate longing buster in keeping with most males doesn t give a toss p s john s having a bit of a nervous breakdown not to worry m1 oh noes what s john worrying about is it the peeing not surprised pm loves buster strong silent dog that he is um she s not in heat is she eep dee well there is the peeing and the stealing and the mess she leaves in her wake from the stealing but pm loves him if she has a period i ll get her some tampax m1 dearest pm try to be a good dog for aunty dee and uncle john and leave buster s truncated bits alone spend time with blink mummy loves you and will beat you if you don t behave xxx kissy to aunty dee xxx sunday 10th may cannich m1 how s me monster first reception for 36 hrs hope all ok xxx me dear mummy having a ball how do you have safe sex will the fact that buster has no testicles make any difference dee where do i begin but as i text they re asleep together snuggled up in the duvet after sex with buster her main aim in life is not sleeping in her crate m1 eep i am horrified but not altogether surprised to hear that pm has taken control of the house she s done the same to me did u imagine the name piglet monster was a joke i think u should bannish her to kitchen with crate at night little monster xxx moi m1 she is precocious monster indulgent smirk weather amazing y day climbed 2 munros in snow sleet and hail oh and rain today about 70 degrees amazingly beautiful too ducking hot tonight on camp at cannich and tomorrow cross loch ness rain killed camera and mp3 player pack uncomfy now have aviemore shops plan hope y all okay eep house tomorrow xxx m1 dear pm pls text aunty dee s addy so mummy can send postcard xxx monday 11th may erogie me mummy dearest aunty dee thrashes me at least twice a day i enjoy the pain is that so wrong can t stop going out for tat tas which frankly is more enjoyable than texting love and kisses xxxx ps have learned to kiss uncle john to help with his mental health dee the doctor said that given time john and i should recover buster is leaving home to live with a homeless man and blink is going to live in a shelter pm on the other hand is absolutely fine we really don t mind sleeping in the crate as pm prefers our bed i have to be careful pm doesn t know i m using the mobile bye xxx dee she told me to tell you that i lied she found the text i d sent on the plus side errr there is no plus side dee no give me that phone you little brat no catch me if you can aaaggghhh hey these stun guns really work tuesday 12th may somewhere in the monadhliath dee omg house wilsie s eye v nearly and an epi to itself pm told me to tell you that she s being a v g girl now and everyone loves her m1 zomg can hardly wait for house relieved to hear pm less monstrous now will reward her with shorter beating when i get home heh xxx wednesday 13th aviemore dee it says on the news that you re having blizzards pm is v well and wishes to be remembered to you but then she said i haven t got time to chat i have to thursday 14th corrour bothy me i love buster and yesterday and today he has played with me and has hardly growled at me since aunty dee thrashed him talking about thrashing i did deserve it me p s i do miss you when i have time however i m spending so much time wreaking havoc and causing mayhem that i don t have much time for anything else except pooing in the back bedroom i mentioned the thrashing didn t i hugs pm xxxx sunday 17th may en route to ballater m1 piggly darling mummy misses you and sends a hug and a tickle pls say hello to dee for me and put her phone down wet here and exhausting ugh tuesday 19th may tarfside m1 zomg this is piglet s half birthday born 19th nov last year needs cake dee pm doesn t want to be reminded of her age she just wants to know if she s old enough to have sex with buster i haven t broken the news about his balls yet i didn t want to break her heart wednesday 20th may north water bridge m1 penultimate day of walking sunny and fun met wee border on hills y day wanted to grab him and take him home for pm the tart kissies to all the wee doglets xxx dee late walk tonight it s been pissing down all day i wouldn t call france a holiday more like a living nightmare whoops blink got lost in the grass panic dee she s used to the thrashings now in fact she may be a masochist kitchen is finished thursday 21st may montrose m1 dear piglet darling see if you can sneak upstairs while aunty dee is cooking and watch house for me then get train to montrose and come and tell me all about it mummy will give you kiss and gravy bones xxx mummy xxx me tough shit i can steal gravy bones anytime the cupboard s open and i ve got buster and uncle john to kiss you ve got to do better than that i m savvy to some life skillz now dee oh bless they re all playing together in the field m1 wee darlings dee little ratbags more likely friday 22nd may dee now en route to france dee oh noes forgot to take mem stick and pm s collar and lead to chris s house is still on dh and my friend over the road will send the lead in the post sorry btw pm settled in at chris s without a backward glance posted in chat with m1 chat with m2 leave a comment my first post september 15 2009 hello this is my blog everybody else seems to have one and so i feel that i should have one too grrrrrr wee fart goes off to chew a camera case posted in uncategorized leave a comment pages all about meeee bow wow grrrr backpacking bacon chat with m1 chat with m2 kit piss piss pomes uncategorized vet meta create account log in valid xhtml xfn wordpress com create a free website or blog at wordpress com entries rss and comments rss subscribe subscribed piglet monster s blog sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy piglet monster s blog subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment 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