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Text of the page (random words):
making my way through the universe still in one piece though the pieces are wearing or worn out i m writing a lot i m working too hard the world is crazy i m still whatever the hell it is i am i do feel responsibility for some of the chaos out there some would say that s irrational some would agree all i can do is try to make amends with the universe i ve been working hard on that i ve barely scratched the surface so i ll be at this the rest of my life however short or long that may be for now suffice it to say i am back whether one person reads this or many i am here and i will close this by saying my mantra be good to each other j posted by james o meara sr at 7 24 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday december 20 2021 coming soon on kindle vella the amazing colossal thingalopoulus a walnutwood tale release date christmas eve 2021 christmas eve i release my first kindle vella story the amazing colossal thingalopoulus this is one of my walnutwood tales walnutwood is a fictional town in pennsylvania i ve used as a setting for several short stories and a novel in progress at least six episodes will be available christmas eve with new episodes weekly we begin in a very special hospital in walnutwood our destination the heart of africa we ll have many adventures along the way plus pirates there must be pirates i think that s an unwritten rule for adventures so what exactly is vella it s an exciting new way to create and publish stories episode by episode i think the medium has potential and has a lot of room to grow how does it work you unlock vella story episodes with tokens a story s first 3 episodes are free and free tokens are available via this link to get you started my gift to you this christmas is the first 3 episodes and don t forget you can read more with the free tokens available at the kindle vella site i hope you enjoy it where s the link to the story it won t be available until it s published on christmas eve i couldn t risk you forgetting to get aunt clara s present because you got wrapped up reading the doggone story as soon as the story is live i ll give a shout stand by theamazingcolossalthingalopoulus posted by james o meara sr at 8 15 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday august 17 2020 fringeville 224 all of those tomorrows my name is charles i m an alcoholic tonight i m drinking he glared at his reflection in the cracked rear view before punching it hard snapping it off the windshield and sending loose shards of mirror showering into his lap a tap came on his window one of the security guards who pointed to the gate and motioned him to leave the other security guard stood in front of the car with arms crossed trying her best at one hundred twenty or so pounds to look intimidating charles started the car backed out of his spot flipped them the bird and left the premises where he was apparently no longer essential he eased out onto main street and began mulling his meager finances as he drove through what passed as the heart of town a church a coffee shop and a beer distributor all the fast food places were up by the highway now everything else the few small shops and restaurants were corona casualties in hibernation open under restrictions or just plain gone forever he had forty one bucks and change in his checking account until his last full paycheck hit on friday the check after that would just be for today but he wasn t thinking that far ahead he only cared about this day and what he could do with what little money he had left if he spent twenty five bucks on gas that left him enough for a cheap bottle of something he didn t much care what he just wanted to do as much damage as he could as quickly as possible it was a year and three days since he d last had a load on and he needed this one he wanted this one the gas station was two miles down the road where his small town began giving way to open country there was a state liquor store in an otherwise all but abandoned plaza a quarter mile further down the road a pair of swipes with his debit card for gas and booze and then home to disappear into oblivion for a while fired over a fight about jelly who does that stupid stupid he hadn t thrown a punch since junior high and he d lost that fight too and earned three days of in school suspension three days of shooting his mother s pencils into the ceiling of the auditorium with a rubber band for months afterwards his mother would search the house in vain for those pencils chuck have you seen my pencils i swear i had a bundle of them wrapped in rubber bands right here in the kitchen drawer did you take them to school are they in your desk no mom they re not in my desk are you sure i swear mom they re not in my desk i ve looked low and high she d said voice trailing off not high enough mom try the ceiling of the riverview junior high auditorium far beyond the reach of the janitor mister purvis and his rickety old ladder he and jenny went to a school board meeting in that auditorium a few years ago and he d glanced up still there a small thicket of pencils far more than he d shot over his brief internment his mom s collection of no 2 pencils in assorted lengths and at least a dozen others were embedded firmly in the acoustic tile apparently he d inspired a legion of pencil archers he d burst out laughing and had to leave the room jenny was not amused at the time neither was the school board jenny laughed later when he told her the story not the polite laugh she showed the world but the deep full throated laugh she only let loose around those she loved it ached to think about how much he missed that laugh today s fight got him fired they told him they d pay him for the day then security escorted him out of the building no second chances for probationary employees out the door you go and don t let it hit you where the good lord split you the fight started because there was just one grape jelly left in the break room and the guy behind him wanted it it s mine seniority the jackass told him pushing him aside and grabbing it out of the battered old straw basket on the counter without hesitation or warning he d knocked jackass mister seniority right on his tail but jackass mister seniority butch walker got right up and began pummeling charles until several coworkers broke up the impending homicide they both got shit canned charles because he was less than three months on the job butch because he had one fight too many he pulled up to the light at water street his mouth tasted like old pennies he rolled his tongue around in his mouth all his teeth were there but one seemed loose his nose felt puffy and he was sure it was bleeding down the back of his throat there was fresh blood on his right thigh which puzzled him until he realized his hand was bleeding and dripping on his leg rear view s revenge he wanted that first pull on the bottle he could almost taste it almost feel the razor sharp burn as it rushed down his throat he d remember that first one the rest would quickly become a blur and no sir he wasn t calling mark to keep from falling off the wagon no indeed he was hurling himself off no sponsor needed for that no sir the abyss beckoned and he d rush into its embrace the water street light changed and he drove to the next light at columbus circle where two old men were planting american flags around the columbus statue in the fading daylight almost there he looked down the gas needle lay flat on empty don t you run out you bastard the light changed and he eased down on the accelerator milking the fumes in the tank he wasn t surprised he d finally snapped the phone call to jenny two days earlier set everything in motion he d been on edge ever since he spoke to her a couple drives through the country did nothing to dull that edge it s been over a year he d pleaded a whole year and not a drop well it s not enough chuck we re not coming home yet she sighed into the phone well what is enough jenny two years ten in the end they were shouting at each other and she hung up he never even got to say hello to his boys later that same evening he heard heavy footsteps on his porch firemen a fire truck was parked in front of his apartment lights flashing got a complaint your car s leaking gas said the chief he hadn t denied it the taurus leaked if he put in more than half a tank he must have pumped in a hair too much someone caught a whiff and called the fire department they threw cat litter under the car to soak up the spill after confirming it was no longer leaking next time it s a fine and we ll have it towed he was warned his neighbors sat on their porches watching it all some chuckling and pointing some just shaking their heads and frowning he felt like a five star idiot he took the taurus to the garage the next day and got a used gas tank installed he d paid his rent earlier in the week so the repair chewed up most of his bank account he was a stick of dynamite with the fuse already lit by the time he crossed paths with butch in the cafeteria he frowned and shook his head as he dodged the endless succession of potholes why was every damned road in pennsylvania a mini ho chi minh trail he swerved to miss one and a new one that wasn t there the day before swallowed his left front wheel wham he looked up to the rear view to see if anything had fallen off the car but there was only a ring of epoxy where the mirror used to be a year of aa meetings two a day sometimes standing and introducing himself hello my name is charles i am an alcoholic almost three months of slaving away at a shit job to show jenny he was back on track all that time dying for a drink but holding his own somehow and still it came to this his wife and kids remained a state away he was broke newly fired and driving a piece of shit car sporting a brand new used gas tank he couldn t afford to fill unless he stayed sober he had no such plans no sir in less than an hour none he d have half a bottle in his belly nothing would matter for a day or so lord yes tonight i will drink he d started each day for more than a year the same way staring into the bathroom mirror and swearing by god he wouldn t drink he ended each day standing before that same mirror and swearing he wouldn t drink tomorrow either last night and this morning he d skipped these rituals he d already made up his mind to break his vow he just wasn t brave enough to say it to his own face if jenny and the boys were coming home maybe he d still have a job he d probably be on his way to a meeting right now but they were in ohio when jenny got word about what happened this time and she always found out somehow she d stay away all the longer why jenny he d asked the day he came home to find her packing she said it was the abuse what abuse i ve never laid a hand on you well sometimes i wish you had chuck i d have done this a lot sooner maybe you don t hit us but you certainly hurt us you re a nasty drunk your words do more damage than your fists ever could she was taking the kids to her mom s place in ohio she said he could call her there in a month or so she said not before she said he didn t know what to say and figured it was wisest to stay quiet while she packed it simply wasn t possible to move jenny off a decision once she d made up her mind her baby brother hank a bench warming linebacker at ohio state stood next to her as she zipped shut her suitcase hank put a supreme effort into looking as menacing as possible while his sister packed he ignored hank when she closed the suitcase he walked past hank who twitched a little and softly pleaded for jenny to stay to give him just one more chance she ignored him and called the boys into the bedroom give your daddy a kiss he kissed them circling his arms around both and hugging them they looked confused tears filling their eyes they were herded away to hank s silver honda where they waved as hank pulled away from the curb he watched as the car disappeared down gouge street before turning onto abbot he d seen his two boys just three times in the year that followed their birthdays and at christmas he d driven to ohio each time stayed in a cheap motel and spent a few hours with his boys before driving all the way back he d worked so hard since then to convince jenny to come home again she always took his phone calls and that always gave him hope he swore he could hear that same hope in her voice as well he was sure of it she d never once told him she no longer loved him that counted for something it had to now his family seemed farther away than ever the gas held out he made it to the station pulled up to the small pump island and got out of the car a swipe of the debit card and he started pumping the regular he kept his eyes on the pump s screen he had to make sure he didn t fly right by that twenty five dollars mark the sound of wheels rolling over pavement creeping up behind him pulling up close don t rush me jackass a car door opened footsteps someone approaching he refused to look at whoever it was until he was done whatever they wanted well they could damn well wait he finished pumping and slowly placed the nozzle back in its cradle sir came a woman s voice trembling and raspy like dry leaves in a stiff october wind despite himself he turned and looked blonde about thirty he guessed dark sunglasses above her mask can you lend me five dollars for gas i just ran out i hate to ask but i left my purse home who the hell did she think she was trying to cut into his bottle money what woman goes anywhere anywhere without her purse he was set to dress her down when he saw the car seat saw the sleeping child tightly clutching a stuffed animal the battered suitcase on the front seat of her car the small spot of crusted blood on a corner of her plain blue mask his anger evaporated her car had drifted to a stop at an oblique angle the gas tank too far to reach with the nozzle first thing we need to get you closer to the pump he said calmly let me move my car after he parked the taurus in front of the convenience store he asked her to get back in her car and put it in neural he told her how to cut the wheels and then he started pushing the car backwards as he pushed he had her cut the wheels a few times until she was lined up with the island he moved around behind the car and leaned into it harder work this time because the ground wasn t quite level he inched the car forward until she was next to the pump he opened the gas cap swiped his debit card and started pumping she reached in her glove box and grabbed a small notepad and pencil she held them out through the open window please give me your address i ll mail you five dollars when i get home you re not going home he said and five dollars won t get you far enough he looked away and kept pumping until he squeezed in every cent he had left he put the gas cap back on closed the fuel door and walked...