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jumpin on the blogwagon jumpin on the blogwagon i like to cook with wine sometimes i even add it to the food w c fields friday june 18 2010 motherhood one definition a time period in a woman s life where she will walk through the day with randomly placed stickers on her shirt they may be in the form of fruit brand chaquita or monster trucks or princesses but all were placed there with love from a small sharing hand and usually forgotten about until someone says do you know you have an apple sticker on your shirt the mother will look down smile and reply yes posted by diane 2 08 pm 6 comments monday june 14 2010 my struggle to get that which is inside out i ve come to the realization that once god creates the 48 hour day i ll be in much better shape i am just seriously struggling getting completed that which needs to be done much less that which my soul is yearning to express i know i have things to share creatively a lot that is however when to do it because something of creative nature is never a squeeze it in between loads of laundry and t ball thing they take time they take pondering thinking tweeking a few months ago when the hubby and i went to az for a few days i realized that i had a lot to say to share not with him per se though having uninterrupted conversations was amazing yet it was the first time in a long period that i had time to sit and think and process thoughts anyone who is a mother gets where i am going here the incessant mom mommy i need fill in blank i want is like well being pecked to death by a chicken so to sit for a couple hours without anyone speaking to you is almost alarming i realized i can do anything i want and then realized i had no clue what that was i picked up a notebook and started writing and this is when i still have a lot to say to share to express and now i realize i struggle to find a moment to do it i fully realize this chaos is temporary and i will miss it one day i am not wishing it away in the least just taking the struggle in processing it and trying to figure out how to slice a bit of time for myself so once i get the memo that a day will be extended to 48 hours you will see some rejoicing posted by diane 12 56 pm 0 comments thursday may 20 2010 untitled the other day i was hanging clothes on the line the sun shone in my face and the bird a mourning dove not a morning dove as the hubby clarified sang i felt this strange connection to my mother at this moment maybe it was standing doing a task that i had witnessed her countless times doing a chore a domestic duty required of her at that moment i felt that as she did this task she too was probably filled with thoughts considerations maybe even doubts of her role as a mother a wife a friend not that i am assuming she felt resentful or anything just that being in that moment being surrounded by simple beauty of nature and hanging size 6 pants with holey knees and worn out cuffs i am sure she pondered life just as i did as i clipped the little mermaid jammies on the line i contemplated where i have been what i have learned and where life is yet to take me it is strange how in the most obscure moments i can feel so deeply connected posted by diane 2 31 pm 2 comments wednesday november 04 2009 missing her i realized the other day that i miss mom more than i realize i realize that she was the cheerleader in the family the nosy one the one who of course checked up on you and what you were doing she was the mom we have done a lot to the house already and thank god for friends that are curious about the changes i just know that if she was still alive i would be getting phonecalls checking up on the progress of the kitchen or flooring or painting or the big guy in kindergarten or the underling that is permantly attached to my leg the friend making has been very slow i was spoiled in residency with 17 instant friends who showed up at your door with gifts their kids were your kids friends whether they liked it or not so it has been an adjustment now i must go my domestic goddess duties call posted by diane 9 57 am 4 comments thursday october 29 2009 it s amazing the older i get the more and more amazed i am at how god brings people in and out of your life posted by diane 11 49 am 2 comments thursday october 01 2009 life happens when you are planning something else holy schnikes november november was my last post that is bad so anyway i have realized i need to write more i need to be creative and put my thoughts that run through my head out there so today there was a stray cat in my house yup a stray had been hiding in the basement for a couple days i find that rather creepy realizing that another alive being was unaccounted for in the house is a bit disturbing i discovered him as he tried to snipe the left over mac n cheese out of the sink this afternoon i had been in the basement earlier in the day and yes had a feeling of being watched but chalked it up to the probably high emf check out ghost hunters if you don t understand field that probably exists in the basement nope it was eyeballs boring the back of my head the little critter was hiding high up in the corner of the basement many calls later we located a live trap and thanks to some chicken of the sea he is now free back in the wild hopefully the word won t get out amongst the animal world that i am oblivious to my basement or before i know it there will be a zoo living down there oh and one last point how worthless are my own cats for not detecting another of their kind camping out in the basement definately didn t earn their keep today posted by diane 7 56 pm 2 comments thursday november 13 2008 reflection as i have entered my ehem mid 30 s gulp i have come to love myself i mean yeah i have my fat days and the days i would give my children to the first passerby on the street for a moment of silence but overall i feel at peace i think i was blessed to grasp the live each day fully because it could end instantly thing early in my 20 s starting out in an icu seeing teens die because of a freak accident or young moms stroke or hard working dads be declared brain dead was a cold bucket of reality that life is fragile and it is not something out there waiting to happen but it is now today its the ins and outs and struggles and joys of everyday i think i got that a while ago what i don t think i realized would happen as i got older is that i would get better what i mean is i know i am physically and mentally stronger now than in my mid twenties lighter no stronger yes can t have everything i guess i have learned to never say never it will come back to bite you in the ass just to prove you wrong i have learned to just let go to roll with life and to truely believe i am not in control of this crazy journey if someone would have told me on my wedding day you are going to move 10 times in 9 years live in the middle of the ocean lose a parent have two kids but not until you are 30 fall in love with an artform involving a big hot torch give up your nursing career feel like a single parent due to the demands of medical school and residency run a couple 1 2 marathons and end up back where you took your vows i think my answer would have been a big fat hell no but it has all happened it has not been easy but it has all been worth it i joke that i stopped planning about 7 years ago back when we took a leap of faith to an island called saba a dot in the middle of the caribbean ocean since then since believing god has a plan for me life has been one heck of a wild ride and i am not looking to get off of it any time soon posted by diane 1 01 pm 3 comments about me name diane location united states i am a stay at home mom sahm as the kids say these days of 3 kiddos 4 cats 1 dog and a goat throw a wonderful hubby in the mix and there is always chaos sometimes i create sometimes i run so far they can t catch me view my complete profile links diani designs jobean glass edit me previous posts motherhood one definition my struggle to get that which is inside out untitled missing her it s amazing life happens when you are planning something else reflection boy 2 30 26 the jerkification of kids archives november 2005 december 2005 january 2006 february 2006 march 2006 april 2006 may 2006 june 2006 july 2006 august 2006 september 2006 october 2006 november 2006 december 2006 january 2007 february 2007 march 2007 april 2007 may 2007 june 2007 july 2007 august 2007 september 2007 october 2007 november 2007 december 2007 january 2008 february 2008 may 2008 august 2008 september 2008 november 2008 october 2009 november 2009 may 2010 june 2010