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Text of the page (random words):
aiting for all the better options to be chosen i went back inside where it s warm and cozy and i don t care if i get picked or not so there labels crankiness infertility posted by projgen 18 17 6 comments 26 july 2009 um hello anyone there warning babies ment hi i will make no promises about being back i still have all those blogs swirling around in my head that i can t seem to get out to my fingers but in the space of a few days i ve had various kinds of contacts with old friend if bloggers which has made me realize how much i miss our exchanges life goes on thank god so many of my if blog friends have gone on to have beautiful children but i ve started digging around the blogs again to try to catch up on everyone i miss you meanwhile i can comment on one thing since moving to israel israel is a very family friendly country nearly everyone has kids and nearly everything is geared towards children it has nothing to do with all the religious jews in israel non religious families typically have 3 4 or 5 children we live in a surburban town that is very family oriented i know why would we voluntarily do that to ourselves we were thinking in terms of convenience at the time not in terms of the kid centred community based on past experience of my friends having babies i wasn t too worried that i d have a difficult time and gratefully i was right i m surrounded by pregnant women babies toddlers little kids strollers playgrounds toys laughter ironically i live one building away from a daycare centre at daycare centres here kids spend a lot of time of outside so it s hard to miss the yelling and laughing and general kid like sounds but yet i am thank god fine i love playing with my friends children love watching them learn to walk and talk and interact there are still difficult moments and maybe i can get motivated to post about that another time meanwhile i m always pleasantly surprised to find that i m okay maybe oversaturation was the key all along labels blogging infertility israel posted by projgen 16 52 8 comments 12 september 2008 another one bites the dust jlo is off my celebrity list i was never a big fan but i can see the appeal but when i thought she had gone went public with using ivf to get pregnant with her twins i figured i might be able to swing buying a cd of hers you know to help her pay for her ivf anyhoo it now seems that she is denying using ivf in fact her exact quote is we knew nothing was wrong with either one of us i had been checked and he had kids already she says i knew something s not ready here in my head or in my life and when it is i know it s going to happen wow jlo told herself to just relax so apparently according to jennifer lopez if you pursue ivf that means there s something wrong with you being 38 and never having had children doesn t mean there s something wrong having a body that has gone too long without doing what nature intended and now doesn t seem to know how doesn t mean there s something wrong i don t know which story is true and i don t really care whether or not lopez used ivf to get pregnant but if she did use ivf why hide it why is there still a stigma attached to using ivf having worked in the industry tm i know for an absolute fact there are celebrities who have used ivf but they keep it under the rug very very far under the rug i think they re so wrong it hasn t hurt celine dion to be public about using art if other celebrities came out about using ivf maybe the rest of the world would be interested and the result would be lots of cosmo magazine stories about 10 ways to talk to your best friend about her infertility i suppose the downside to that is if you tell your family that you re using a fertility clinic you run the risk of your sister in law screeching oh my god i just read in people magazine that paris hilton is going to be an egg donor for her mother s ivf i know it s a personal private thing and wouldn t expect anyone to go on tv saying hey guess what we re using art to try to get pregnant but after the fact if you are successful and there are rumours swirling why not talk about it why not talk about the pain the suffering the emotional rollercoaster it s weird that if you re a celebrity it s okay to talk about being raped sexually abused a coke addict a heroin addict an alcoholic but using ivf to get pregnant implies there s something wrong with you and we certainly can t have that labels crankiness infertility posted by projgen 10 43 9 comments 09 september 2008 un decision 2008 with regards to my last post your responses were beautiful and thoughtful so i wanted to address some thoughts firstly there were a couple of suggestions that we consider mesa again for hubby it was very painful the first time around and as a result of that procedure and the attempted reversal hubby now has a fair amount of scar tissue hubby is not very interested in having more knives directed at his netherworld we ve discussed the issues ad naseum one of the issues was the recommendation of our re in canada that we use donor eggs i m still mad that we couldn t get an appointment until well after we were too disenchanted to want to discuss the reason behind that recommendation we had only had two cycles both of which were very aggressive yet left us with only 2 or 3 eggs we would have liked to talk about a low dose cycle which some doctors think produces stronger more viable eggs i know i m rambling here i m trying to get all the thoughts blowing around in my head into some semblence of order i made a joke about deciding by not deciding but in actuality we ve discussed everything so much that i think maybe we have decided but neither of us really wants to put voice to that decision because that will make it real as long as we don t actually say it out loud there s still always a remote possibility it just seems like the cards are stacked against us we need hubby s donation either from vancouver or a new mesa i m old we might need donor eggs which a is near impossible in israel for religious jews very problematic b is not something we re willing to consider at the moment c is also not something we can afford not even close usually when the odds are against me like that it gets my hackles up and i fight even harder this time i m tired it s hard work this making aliyah knowing how i am when cycling the idea of starting a cycle now or soon makes me want to crawl into a closet if we had closets in israel and hide it ain t over give me a month or two things may get re undecided labels infertility posted by projgen 16 00 4 comments 05 september 2008 yes no maybe i don t know ah so here s the problem with writing blogposts offline i write them save them but then forget to post them sigh i wrote this 4 days ago random thoughts here we are in israel where fertility treatments are free i am barely within the age range to get free treatments hubby s spermcicles are back in canada hubby s spermcicles were retrieved via surgery on demand contributions are not an option for us it would cost a fair amount of money to send our spermcicles from canada to israel we don t have jobs yet in israel and with ulpan hebrew classes it s likely we won t have any serious work for a few months yet money is tight don t you just love the irony before in canada when we were both going through rough spots with work and had no money we had to pay for ivf now ivf is free we again have no money and we have to pay to get the spermcicles from canada to israel crap in a basket for better or for worse i ve never been one of those people who would do any thing to have a baby i will do a lot spend all our savings undergo gobs of procedures stand by my man while he undergoes gobs of procedures including multiple surgeries but i m not sure if i m willing to put myself through all that again especially while i m trying to adapt to living in a different country with a new language and customs and beaureaucracies i keep thinking about how every stage of every step of every single thing we ve done to try to get pregnant was a battle first we have an expensive reversal that failed then we have mesa that cost a fortune then we both wind up unemployed using what s left of our savings to have one ivf that failed after we waited for months while i lost enough weight to satisfy the re and then we sit there for ages with all these frozen bits while we try to scrape up enough money to do another cycle that failed of course i m glossing over all the details of each cycle the cancel don t cancel you should cancel wait one more day one egg two eggs two blasts one blast drama and all i can conclude is that i m a big whiny weiner because so many other people have gone through so much more in their efforts to have a baby and they didn t give up as easily as i feel i m giving up although to be fair we haven t officially given up yet are all these challenges g d s way of saying sorry hon it ain t gonna happen and i m just not getting it or is it can you handle the challenges of raising a child let s see how you handle these tests first and oops i guess i m failing seriously i just don t know i honestly don t know if i can face another cycle the physical toll of doing a cycle is always very hard on me it takes me a long time to bounce back from a cycle and emotionally well the whole egg thing practically kills me each time and then of course there s the bfn i just don t know if i can take another no and then an infertile myrtle friend of mine successfully has a baby mazal tov changes her facebook status to is in love and it makes me wonder if i can face all the no s on the chance that maybe i can have a yes and feel like that too shabbat shalom labels infertility posted by projgen 18 03 7 comments 31 august 2008 blog interrupted how frustrating to finally get myself back into blogging only to have isp problems that keep knocking me offline at least we think it s isp problems we have a tech coming over today now if i were a logical person i would write all my blogs in a notepad and then during the few minutes i have online i would pop in and throw a post up that s if i were logical i guess i ll just have to learn to write my posts out before hand so i m not thrown off by being thrown off labels blogging posted by projgen 12 30 1 comments 21 august 2008 more ammo for the right wing of course she did sigh khamis who already has three daughters took fertility drugs in an effort to have a son the full article is here i know the story isn t so new but i m a little slow on the draw these days the first frustrating thing is the use of fertility drugs and having septuplets that one s just fuel for the fire for the folks who are all against reproductive assistance then she took fertility drugs so she could have a boy well now she s got boys four of em all at once thennnn there s discovering she was carrying multiples and not wanting to have an abortion it s called selective reduction people sure you could make an argument that it s a form of abortion but medically it s not there is nothing easy about selective reduction and i certainly don t mean to make it sound like it s just like cleaning out your closet thank g d her choice or lack thereof resulted in stable babies g d willing they should all grow to be healthy and strong yes there are odds for a reason someone has to be that one in 800 000 this whole story got my dander up could ya tell because situations like these do nothing to help the cause of art multiple births contribute to the difficulties in getting art funded by health care why should my tax dollars pay for all those babies multiple births in countries that are seen as third world but really aren t just perpetuates an attitude of backwards people not to mention making people with religious convictions look like fanatics because they wouldn t reduce a dangerous pregnancy so anyone with religious convictions is painted with the same brush and stories like this cause some women who could benefit from fertility drugs to shy away from using them out of fear of multiples eh you get my point i m done i m going to go off and stew in my coffee for a while note not an actually statistic i made something up that sounds very rare to make a point not to support a research paper labels crankiness infertility posted by projgen 11 23 4 comments about me name projgen i m an orthodox jew on the ivf road to well somewhere hopefully parenthood we re dealing with age male infertility orthodoxy finances in laws and one neurotic dog note please do not use me as a guideline for jewish practice i am always learning and what is okay in my community might not be okay in yours i m happy to answer your questions bearing in mind you should always consult your rav for the standards of your community also if you think you know who i am please don t wave hi my ability to speak freely is important to me so i don t want to know that you know todah rabah view my complete profile email me stop the genocide make a donation humanitarian aid for the people of darfur edah s fact sheet on darfur source sheets and downloadable learnings jews for darfur email to george bush million voices for darfur e postcard to george bush canadian students for darfur email petition to stephen harper save darfur action page csf darfur information and links for canadians previous posts it s like elementary school and kickball all over um hello anyone there another one bites the dust un decision 2008 yes no maybe i don t know blog interrupted more ammo for the right wing sperm donation leads to evil cruelty and sperm do revisiting the past took a wrong turn at albuquerque links fertility trying a barren island ms x has gone private cyclesista who s cycling and when go give em the love infertile fantasies bea mfi in singapore tales of a wessel wessel has left the blogging world kol tuv friend things get if fy lut c introduces us to her friends hope and ted what to expect when you re not expecting kirby judiasm and mfi julie s great big list of infertility blogs the ultimate blogroll trying to stay sane another infertility blogroll other categories adopting successful pregnancy included fertility with a bfp in the barren season persephone s journey to twins jenny from the infertility block male factor in canada journey to the centre of the egg ozzie male factor fertility bfp and then some a little pregnant julie s adventures with batboy after a long haul with if chez miscarriage getupgrrl presented gefilte and then crawled back in the jar we all await her return first fruits persephone after the barren season manana banana after many tries amanda presents adam ovaries on strike robber barren adds to the twinlets count so close tertia and her twins infertility blogs with an orthodox jewish perspective jewish aish hatorah jews for judaism jofa judiasm 101 mayim rabim mikvah and its laws mikolot mayim rabim mayim rabim message boards nishmat women s halachic information torah org other blogs i follow de...