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Text of the page (random words):
purpleborough bits and pieces of life skip to content primary menu purpleborough bits and pieces of life search for close menu home about copyright rss posts rss comments follow purpleborough on wordpress com follow blog via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow join 202 other subscribers rain rain falling gently now i do not sleep freddie said i love to hear the rain and i said i do too to walk through his house again to smell the smell of his house and the redwood trees to visualize him pushing his walker down the hall stopping briefly at the living room door where i slept on the couch to say mom i am sorry about the things i said last night and i would answer i am sorry as well for my behavior i love you and he would go into the kitchen to make his breakfast or take his medicine to see him feed his worms work in his tomato pots on the gorgeous deck in the sun eat watermelon with his friend ron who came for an hour each wednesday he did not have many visitors dropping by because of his illness i wish i had not said stop playing with your phone and try to sleep the phone was his connection to the world i should have known because it was my connection to the world as well then as now oh that hind sight could be zero and present sight could be 20 20 to hear him call me during the night mom i am going to be sick to hold the basin and clean it after he vomited to pull up the syringes for him even though i simple could not bring myself to give him the shot rescue shot in the abdomen i wish i could have but it hurt me to much to think about it my fear of hurting him he hated giving himself the shop but he needed it to live i could have learned on an orange i must tell all the stories before i forget i have to write my way through this if i am going to live share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading 17 comments featured purpleborough camcer home mother the seed packets the zinna the seed packets dr manh dang author the seed packets over the years she brought them home those seed packets to plant someday each one a bud of dream alive that in due time flowers will bloom petals of red on stems of green pistils of white with hearts of gold colors abound in fragrant scents that calm one s soul and soothe all pain but time has passed with life embroiled her garden stayed a barren soil duty and work and cancer came though hope besought what life couldn t give those seed packets remained within kitchen drawers planting deferred pensive moments remind her when her sweet mother grew flowers then and taught her well what each would mean symbols and signs love may presume her most cherished is this small bloom zinnia the name in its glory enduring love is its symbol assumed like a river life swiftly flows through the seasons leaves come and go mom has long gone into god s arms sweet smiles of hers are shadows now and her soft touch is revery her voice echoes in memory then on one day by chance she found the seeds burried in corners there believing that they ve aged so long the life within dried up by now she threw them out for birds to glean some scattered in the summer breeze some landed where their fate may please decends the rain from summer clouds a few weeks pass her garden greens one morning as the mist just clears she steps outside to greet the dawn her eyes behold what she held dear a zinnia in a planter blooms reaching heaven is a bridge too far but love sets sail from heaven s stars so this morning as the sun climbs from an old seed comes love abloom from high above mom comes a smile despite the fog the years may bring love finds its path into the clear heaven and earth love has brought near reaching heaven is a bridge too far but from a seed of love without she sees within love still abounds she sees within love blooms year round photo credit the zinnia by linda bourgeois phd i have modified what dr dang wrote about me in his post on facebook he was my oncologist until he retired and now writes beautiful poetry i was honored he chose my humble little zinna for a poem this poem is written in dedication to all cancer survivors it is inspired by ms bourgeois relationship with her mother the true story she shared with me about the chance zinnia and her journey as a neuroendocrine cancer survivor she is a psychologist an author a patient and a friend of cci in her previous life she was an administrator of a women s community health center a university instructor in psychology and her last position was as a diversity director at mississippi valley state university an all black university in the ms delta representative bennie thompson s district and the poorest of the poor in the united states live in this region her message to fellow cancer survivors is always believe you are living your best life thank you linda for sharing your journey and for your service dr dangs words are within quotation marks mine are not share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 27 2022 august 28 2022 purpleborough united methodist voice united methodist church usually i hear every word but today i only heard your voice i fell asleep yet your voice stayed in my head so clear distinct and perfect pitch thank you for coming to this church each sunday so i may hear your voice share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 21 2022 purpleborough cancer family life cancer today has been a sad day one of my friends husband was just diagnosed with cancer he is just starting his journey with a rare disease i have five years into my journey with a rare cancer diagnose it is hard to believe five years have passed i lived my life took care of my son took care of my sister and brother in law holding his hand as he transitioned to the other realm i like to call heaven purpleborough is my heaven here on earth because i can just write and write and know few will read which is the point i believe that you must write for yourself first if other persons find something that touches them and i have helped just one person one is enough the journey has not always been easy but as one of my soul mates said you have to bloom where you are i have retreated from the world but am slowly making my way back i had have prolonged grieving which is now in the dsm as a mental disorder i am not crazy i never was just lost i am sure i will write more about my journey because i think i have written so much about freddie i think if i write about him it will be all the good memories my heart hurts for my friend like me she has no family over here unlike me she has a good support system her church family and others she has met along the way through all her varied activities will be there for her all i can do is listen and hope that anything i have to say will be helpful share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 20 2022 purpleborough i miss the chats i miss the word games i miss my friend share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 20 2022 purpleborough crossover do you live in an alternate universe is your day filled with thoughts of things undone you wish you had broken out of the mould to do do you dream of yesteryear i went to purpleborough to find my answers and discovered once again the beauty of not living amongst real people these little people gathered throughout my life were my people i was not invisible to them the train still ran the circus had grown to every corner of the world much to my dismay it was supposed to be for children and grown folk who still had that child hidden deep within so really all i could do in purple borough was to see the stars and watch the clouds as they burst out from the tumbling world to be seen on our side not the other side purpleborough was still in my heart and head and it was where i belonged among the cockle berries and sunflowers i wondered if my ancestors who had gone on before me were watching over purpleborough and me i wondered if they would understand the loneliness i had created myself but now the game the but game i did the best i could did you i knew i could have been better but indeed had lived up to the expectations of everyone who thought they knew me no one ever did because i kept me locked away and said i m fine it was what the other person wanted to here not the litany of how i really was or thought i was outliers are so out of step with the in people no you cannot go home again no one is there share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading 3 comments august 18 2022 purpleborough life excuse me what did you say life is living what is living thinking playing crying over things unchangeable things unknowable kindness to strangers changeable each day life share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 18 2022 purpleborough education life life in six words sent birthday gift maple syrup dripping share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 18 2022 purpleborough family home life beginning life in a cotton field linda and homer share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 16 2022 purpleborough va tech walking and living with grief december 18 2016 never goes away in my head or heart however i have learned to look at the good memories and to laugh oh yes i still cry but not every day as i use to do every night i say goodnight freddie god and all my loved ones after 5 1 2 years it is a habit habits are hard to break how am i doing fair to middling as my grandmother would always say she lived to be almost 96 without doctors and medicines i do not ever remember her being sick she would have the thumps whatever that meant i think it meant her heart would be beating to rapidly but it would go away and grannie would always keep going her first born son died at an early age with a burst appendix a second son died with i do not know what a daughter died with breast cancer and her husband died with stomach cancer they think back them who knew how did she survive by keeping on with her life and her love of visiting distance kinfolk i only remember her coming to our house one time when freddie was 2 before he had his first surgery before i knew i was not crazy and there was something wrong with him mother s first husband died death calls on all of us in some way or the other in time i was not going to write about death my fingers did this post my brain is still alive and i am doing some things to make sure it can still read think and remember i am taking a c s lewis course from hillsdale college called the abolition of man i took the first test and missed one question that is not saying much since there were only ten and they were multiple choice dumbed down i guess for those of us taking it for free but who knows the professors have been interesting i think i am having a hard time writing again i think a lot of things it must be reviewing my life before death i have so many things i would like to do but find i am a little weaker than i use to be but why did i ever think i had to pick up heavy boxes much better to ask someone for help i often wonder if i ever had a soul mate i wrote a five page story about whom i think my soul mate was but he and his wife are still alive so i cannot publish the story true though it may be i took all my wordpress blog post and made books with draft2digital i do not know why i thought i had to do that when they are all right here for anyone to read but i am getting royalty checks i wonder who is paying for these thoughts of mine not many but one was too many i shall stop today do i eat sometimes but no longer a fat granny as i once was and today i finished packing two boxes of things to go to my grandson at va tech had them put in the car by my delightful yard person and the guy at the post office said they would go out to my car to carry them in isn t that nice in today s world when so few people work so tomorrow i will take them to the post office after my chiropractic visit at 10 15 where are the photos why on my iphone of course nothing to see here share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading august 16 2022 august 16 2022 purpleborough earth life united states wisdom can you go back home again photos tell stories i am not a good photographer and i sure do not understand this new wp why do tech people think we need to upgrade the wheel is not broken why fix it when i trimmed my daughters bushes trees out back jackie wanted to clear out these bushes because they were all tangled together so i said i would do it because i knew how after a trip to home depot and new trimmers this is the result she took my trimmers away and said i could never trim again at home i trimmed my bushes i do not know why i became trimmer happy can t say i blame her they look kinda bad good news they grew back we still laugh mad trimmer strikes again share this email a link to a friend opens in new window email more tweet like loading image 4 comments april 16 2022 purpleborough posts navigation older posts blog at wordpress com purpleborough blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed purpleborough join 200 other subscribers sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy purpleborough subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email name website d design a site like this with wordpress com get started