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up with being good girls as i saw it they were joining me i was no longer alone with my anger p132 133 it was beautiful to hear about newton s transformation from insecure girl to confident adult thanks in large part to the women s movement later newton got somewhat involved in the lesbian s m movement that emerged after lesbian feminism had enforced a politically correct sexuality on the lesbian community regular readers of this blog know that i oppose the sex positive movement on the grounds that it s more positive toward abuse than sex however newton is mature and reasonable and doesn t demonize any group not like the overly dramatic queer activists of today she learned from and respected both movements and used what she learned from them to accept herself and express herself more fully come to think of it i ve actually done the same thing myself after diving into a purely historical as the movements have already ended study of the lesbian feminist movement and the sex pozzie movement i ve also retained those lessons that i value and rejected those ideas that i thought were erroneous and assimilated all i ve learned into my conception of myself before newton accepted herself as a lesbian she had a lot of relationships with men and this was shocking for me to read i had a moment of wondering if she is actually bisexual but after finishing the book i understand that she is truly lesbian but pre stonewall life was so anti gay that she feared getting kicked out of school and fired from her job if anyone thought she was gay she felt she had to date men in order to survive this was an important lesson for me as a lesbian who came of age right around the time when same sex marriage was legalized in my country where gsas are common in high schools and where gays and lesbians can usually be out at work with no negative repercussions esther newton is one of the people who changed things so that i can live the safe life i live and i m extremely grateful for her newton succeeded in becoming an academic after much struggle i was moved by reading about how she struggled with sexism and homophobia on top of the usual setbacks and frustrations that occur when a young person embarks upon a career and how she pushed herself through the pain and succeeded despite it all she studied gay topics in anthropology when no one else was doing so and become a pioneer of gay and lesbian studies newton is definitely a lesbian hero and her story will inspire any lesbian particularly those who struggle with being a non conforming woman in a sexist society please read this book read it for the important lesson in lesbian history for the gorgeous and sexy writing and to celebrate one of our important lesbian pioneers posted in lesbian lesbian books lesbian feminism reviews tagged butch butch femme femme lesbian lesbian books 8 replies a question about social constructionism posted on january 30 2019 by purplesagefem 23 commenter generalheinz57 asked a question this week and i always answer a question if it s sincerely asked i thought i d write the answer as a post because i tend to be long winded you talk a lot about gender roles and unless i am misunderstanding your position you seem to be of the opinion that they are almost completely if not 100 patterns of learned behavior women are submissive timid fragile nurturing sensitive empathetic while men are domineering gregarious combative independent courageous assertive my question is if you are willing to believe that there is an innate basis for mbti personality types and that you have to heed your nature in order to care for yourself why do you believe that so called gender roles are simply socially constructed toxic for both sexes and that they should and must be shed do you think there is no value to the idea of balance between the sexes in a yin yang sort of way do you not think that rather than shedding the roles entirely there are healthy ways of embodying both sets of traits and that it is okay for men to find feminine women desirable or women to find masculine men desirable as regular readers are aware my views have shifted a lot over the last few years some of my views have adjusted a bit and one of them political lesbianism did a complete 180 the topic of social constructionism is something i ve shifted on i see a continuum between social constructionism and biological determinism where many feminists are pretty far to the side of social constructionism and many conservatives are pretty far to the side of biological determinism although there are lots of exceptions and nuances feminists tend to believe that gendered behaviours are socially constructed and if we construct a different society we can construct different behaviours however there are a lot of different versions of feminism out there and there are some feminists who are biological determinists those are the men are inherently evil variety and from what i ve observed they re fairly rare generally it s understood among our movement that people can change and we don t have to embody stereotypes and male violence can be solved by raising boys differently and holding criminals accountable for their behaviour feminists will sometimes point out that if we did believe that men were inherently evil there would be no need for feminism at all because there would be no hope of changing anything i would say that around 5 years ago i was pretty far on the side of social constructionism and i ve been steadily drifting away from it however i m not going to drift all the way to being 100 biological determinist either surely both nature and nurture are factors in our behaviour and nobody is unaffected by either force where this leaves me in terms of gender roles is that i do think women tend to be more nurturing and more emotional and men tend to be more aggressive and violent due to the effects of estrogen and testosterone on our bodies and minds after having listened to trans men talking about how they change going on and off testosterone injections it s hard to deny that a person with more testosterone in their body cries less often feels more anger and has a higher sex drive this doesn t mean i m giving up on feminism though i don t believe that men are hopelessly violent with no possibility of reform i think they are competent people able to control themselves and behave properly and i don t think women are too emotional to be in positions of power we may cry more often but that doesn t mean we can t use our brains we certainly can there are some people who would probably want to burn me at the stake for saying there is a biological basis for masculine and feminine behaviours but i think there is i think we can acknowledge that while still calling for a culture that is less misogynistic and that doesn t constantly promote stereotypes about men and women to the benefit of us all this might sound contradictory because i always say that masculine and feminine behaviours are complete bullshit when i come across as contradictory i m always willing to examine what i m saying to try to make it more clear there is a tendency in popular culture to present people as very one dimensional and stereotyped and we are actually a lot more complex than the way pop culture presents us for example it is probably true that women purchase more chocolate than men do that s fine and i don t need to pretend that difference doesn t exist however if you look at a tv commercial women are senseless chocolate obsessed animals who will run in front of a truck trying to get their hands on some chocolate this is a silly example but i think you can see what i mean about the difference between a a real life difference that exists between the sexes and 2 that difference turned into a ridiculous spectacle by pop culture i don t have a problem acknowledging a statistically proven difference between men and women but what really makes me angry is when people expect others to behave just like the over the top stereotypes that pop culture sells to us if masculine and feminine behaviours are biologically determined that may appear to justify trans people s claim that they have the mind of the opposite sex based on the fact that their natural personality reflects the usual gendered behaviour of that sex but i m not buying that line of thinking because there are always exceptions there are men with feminine traits and women with masculine traits and this is because humans are all unique just because a person is an exception to a rule doesn t mean they are literally a member of the opposite sex if i was born with a personality called infj then yes that does mean i believe other people are also born with personalities they might be born with certain traits that are classifiable as masculine or feminine and they might be born with tendencies to be violent and they might be born with tendencies to develop dysphoria and any number of other things when someone describes what infjs are like they are definitely generalizing about a large group of people stereotypes can definitely emerge sometimes when i see a narrative posted online about how an infj would behave in a certain situation i identify with the overall message but disagree with specific details we are all of course individuals i d say about 95 of what i ve read about infjs deeply resonates with me and that s enough to make me unlikely to worry about a few details i don t identify with i hope that answers your question and if anything is still unclear feel free to ask i m going to throw in one more subject i ve been shifting on lately just for the fun of it it s regarding the subject of how much blame should be given to structural and external problems versus our own attitudes and behaviours in creating our personal life problems i used to be really far over to the side of blaming structural problems such that i d be full of rage when anyone suggested that a change in attitude and behaviour might help a person my blood would boil and i d shout that there s no way that the way a person thinks has any effect on what bad things happen to them in life bad circumstances surely are born from the physical world around us and are not created by our thoughts ridiculous i think that s partly because people are not sufficiently nuanced for my taste when they talk about this it s pretty easy to scoff and dismiss someone who says that the physical world is literally created by our thoughts because the physical world is literally not created by our thoughts but if these people would stop being so simplistic about it and say something like if you keep expecting bad things to happen you ll be super sensitive to anything that can be perceived as bad and you ll feel as though bad things are always happening then i would be able to buy into that with a bit more life experience i ve come to see that some people react to bad experiences and circumstances by milking them for all the suffering they can get rather than trying to rise above it and overcome and i ve come to see that i can heal myself and gain a better quality of life by changing my limiting and negative beliefs i ve actually started doing some new age healing methods that i would have dismissed as ridiculous bullshit not too long ago however they are working well since i ve already wandered down a tangent into the topic of other things i ve been thinking about lately here s something that ll feel kinda random to leave you with i ve been researching how people lived in historical times and it s been giving me amazing perspective on life today for example i watched some youtube videos of people making soap out of ashes and animal lard our ancestors had to collect ashes from many fires mix them with water boil them strain them mix them with exactly the right proportion of animal fat from animals they had to hunt and kill themselves stand at the pot stirring for hours and then end up with a finished product of one bar of soap which they then had to use to wash with these days we just buy detergent at the store pour it into the dishwasher and press one button voilà instant clean dishes this just shows you so much about why people are the way they are these days people have become much less resourceful and brave and strong and they ve become much more entitled lazy and spoiled i don t know if i ll ever manage to write a historical novel and maybe i won t but the journey so far has been so rewarding i m fascinated by human behaviour and learning about the past is really quenching my thirst for cultural analysis i have even more disdain for people who think misgendering is violence these days these overprivileged college kids sit in their ivory towers with all their modern conveniences and cry oppression over nothing when their ancestors experienced more hardship every day before breakfast than they ll ever experience in their whole lives what a disgrace well thanks for the question generalheinz and sorry about the long tangent posted in uncategorized 23 replies merry christmas friends posted on december 23 2018 by purplesagefem 9 hello here is an actual post this is a little christmas present for any of you who still might be lurking on wordpress even though most of the feminists have been kicked off for a personal update over the last few months i actually haven t been working on fiction as i was supposed to be doing instead i was taking care of a lot of tough stuff in my personal life after making some massive changes i am now living in a new location working at a new job and newly single i ve matured a lot this year and i m much more aware of my boundaries more aware of my needs and limitations and more likely to give myself what i need in life it hasn t escaped my notice that i ve also developed some new lines around the corners of my eyes hopefully they make me look distinguished as they say my latest research obsession is the myers briggs personality types i started reading more about my type infj and it s been making so much sense and it s been so validating to actually see my whole self intricately and accurately described by other people because of my personality type i am easily over stimulated by noise chaos and people and i need a lot of quiet alone time and if i don t get this i literally lose my shit and can t function instead of thinking there s something wrong with me which is what i ve always done now i know that i m just wired this way and i have a right and a responsibility to organize my life in a way that gives me the environment i need so that i m not continuously losing my shit i m in a much healthier state now and i no longer feel like i need to be medicated so let s talk complaints about christmas i ve made peace with the dumb political comments my extended family makes when we all get together i ve perfected the strategy of suddenly having something important to do in another room whenever someone brings up fun topics like how great a job conservative politician...