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oncrete stairway and a small veranda with its smoothly finished wooden bench the kitchen was rather large with ample space for a corner to wash fish meat and vegetables a small aluminium plated charcoal stove a steel and formica dining table and mismatched chairs a pandanus mat and kapok mattress to lie down for afternoon siestas an indoor bathroom with its tempayan porcelain water vessel and kolah concrete pool to retain water from the tap and the creepy bawah kolong or space under the stairs i recalled one night a few years ago when i was thirsty and mak went down to get a glass of water while i waited at the top of the stairs that led to the main house with its larger and smaller bedrooms on the right and left i thought i saw my second brother jamal dashing out from the dark cell and called out his name but the figure just vanished into thin air since that incident i dared not venture down to the kitchen at night the kitchen held both pleasant and unpleasant memories jamal yat and i could not wait to lap up mak s hot chicken broths spicy fish curries or asam pedas hot and spicy gravy beef rendang or the golden honey combed baulu suri traditional malay sponge cake on those rare rare occasions or just plain gruel with margarine and sugar on the usual lean days abang hatta and kak aida were already working in the city so they only returned in the evenings once in a blue moon when mak returned from wedding invitations we would get to taste ghee rice or briyani and hard boiled eggs that the hosts had packed for us special treats like murtabak middle eastern bread with meat fillings from islamic restaurant in arab street were few and far between like when wak enah mak s eldest sister appeared through the kitchen door which most womenfolk and children did then along with pricy imported fruits and delicious desserts red and green globes of juicy grapes shiny crunchy apples and tangy oranges moist marble cakes and wobbly green and red jellies that mak could not afford to buy or prepare when abang hatta started work as a police constable he bought cake remnants from the bakery on his way home that we devoured in a jiffy and then there were the days and nights that we dreaded whenever bapak took his place at the head of the table not only we were not supposed to help ourselves before him but we have to be extremely careful not to ruffle his feathers mealtimes with bapak were tense and sombre affairs one evening we were all seated and waiting at the dining table to tuck into mak s steaming fish ball soup when mak said to bapak please use the ladle not your own spoon to scoop the soup to your plate bapak suddenly flew into a rage got up and thumped the table i m the head of the family why do i have to use the ladle why can t i use my own spoon are you afraid that i ll spread my germs whack mak raised her palm to cool her burning cheek we just hung our head and squirmed in fear and prayed silently for his temper to cool bapak s fury was unpredictable it can be triggered by any slight from any one of us one day when a hot water flask that he flung at kak aida missed her some of the scalding water spilled on my thighs and the time when he bent three copper coins with a pair of pliers and twisted jamal s arms for failing to buy him cigarettes with those three cents i just cringed whenever i heard bapak s footsteps on the wooden planks of the main house my heart would sink and i would quickly leave the kitchen to escape outside posted by baitibadarudin at 2 14 2011 10 36 00 am 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels hearth n home saturday september 18 2010 salam aidilfitri 1431 2010 kejam celik kejam celik dah hampir setahun blog ini tidak dikemaskini terasa janggal juga memblog semula bila dah lama ditinggalkan tapi jaringan sosial seperti facebook dan twitter lebih sesuai untuk soundbites daripada catatan lamunan renungan dan perkara perkara yang dirasakan lebih berat dan serius lantas digamit semula untuk berkongsi pengalaman dan pandangan dengan siapa jua yang sudi membaca sementelah dua belas bulan merupakan masa yang terlalu lama untuk berdiam diri menjadi pemerhati dan pengguna biasa bahan bahan multimedia di ruang siber dah banyak kali air bah dan banyak kali pantai berubah dalam setahun yang telah berlalu penulis penulis blog baru muncul menggantikan mereka yang tidak lagi aktif atau yang telah pergi buat selamanya penulis penulis lama pula menyerlahkan peningkatan dari segi kualiti analisis situasi sosio ekonomi politik semasa namun apakah yang dapat saya sumbangkan sebagai seorang pemerhati pengguna dan pensyarah sambilan pengajian media yang pasti menjadi guru mercenary atau soldier of fortune di salah sebuah negara teluk bukan opsyen yang memuaskan walaupun gajinya lumayan syukur alhamdulillah setelah lebih tujuh bulan berada di tanah air saya senang melakukan perkara perkara yang sebelum ini tidak dapat dilakukan seperti terlibat sebagai sukarelawan untuk pertubuhan pertubuhan bukan kerajaan atau bukan keuntungan ngo npo disamping mengajar sambilan dan membuat terjemahan untuk membayar bil bil tnb astro p1 dst pun begitu salah satu penemuan menarik yang ingin saya kongsikan di sini ialah teori out of sundaland yang dikemukakan oleh ahli sains genetik dr stephen oppenheimer 1999 yang menyangkal teori out of taiwan anjuran ahli bahasa peter bellwood 1984 1997 teori bellwood yang juga dikenali sebagai teori china selatan mengandaikan bahawa nenek moyang orang melayu indonesia filipino hawaii polynesia madagaskar dan maori berasal dari china selatan melalui taiwan ke nusantara dan seterusnya ke madagaskar dan pulau easter kira kira 5 000 tahun lalu bagaimanapun penyelidikan genetik mengesan migrasi penduduk yang lebih besar dari nusantara ke arah tanah besar asia china selatan korea jepun india dan mesopotamia dan filipina madagaskar new guinea seterusnya menjajah kepulauan polynesia easter hawaii dan new zealand melalui titian tanah atau dengan perahu disebabkan banjir besar kira kira 10 000 tahun lalu jadi tidak hairanlah jika orang asal taiwan dan jepun mempunyai ciri ciri orang melayu dan orang champa kampuchea serta funan selatan vietnam boleh berbahasa melayu walaupun belum pernah menjejakkan kaki di semenanjung tanah melayu asal usul bahasa bahasa austronesia melayu tagalog malagasy dll dipercayai tumbuh dan berkembang di sundaland landasan benua yang meliputi geting kra di utara hingga ke garisan wallace di timur yang memisahkan bali dari lombok borneo dari sulawesi palawan dari mindanao dan luzon revolusi neolitik permulaan pertanian menggunakan batu untuk melumatkan bijiran liar juga dikatakan bermula di sini seawal 24 000 tahun yakni 10 000 tahun sebelum di mesir dan palestin untuk maklumat lebih lanjut sila baca http www newstatesman com blogs paul rodgers 2008 05 sundaland spread taiwan http koenraadelst bharatvani org reviews atlantis html http sahultime monash edu au fullscreen html http pl net keithr rfc2001113originseden html posted by baitibadarudin at 9 18 2010 08 59 00 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels alien nation tuesday september 22 2009 kepulangan kali ini selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir batin selamat hari lebaran minal aidil wal faizin eid mubarak eid said kul am wanti bi khir meskipun terlewat pun begitu keterasingan semakin terasa setelah 8 bulan berada di oman juga belum ketemu cara ringkas untuk berhubung dengan saudara mara dan sahabat handai tiada pusat celcom yang dibuka untuk dapatkan reload ditambah pula hampa yang teramat sangat kali ini lantas ku pandu terus ke utara melewati jalan kampung dan desa berlatar kehijauan banjaran titiwangsa begitu jauh berbeda dari gurun sahara kuubati luka dengan senyuman anak anak tak berdosa bagai sirih pulang ke gagang atau sekadar lawatan singkat sebelum ke perantauan apakah esok lusa penentu fitrah atau segalanya lantaran tindakan kita jua posted by baitibadarudin at 9 22 2009 09 29 00 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels heart too hard monday august 03 2009 selamat jalan sayang dear i i m taking a day off today in memory of sayang n s teen cat who was put to sleep at about 1 20am after the xrays showed that she was paralysed due to a spinal cord injury i had a pleasant day yesterday and day before ferry cruise to liberty and ellis islands caught up with mak p at macy s on 34th st slept over her place then shopped for grocery and cooked dinner for n since she was fasting after dessert she decided to show me sayang who spent most of her time in n s bedroom naturally she was afraid of me and hid under the dining table jumped on the other two window ledges before she jumped on the ledge of the opened window out into the airwell and three storeys down to the landing in the basement we went down and found her dragging her hind legs and unable to stand took her to the emergency vet at downtown brooklyn and cried our eyes out while waiting for the xray results and told of the options a surgery that would cost usd5 6k but will not guarantee recovery or put her down and end her misery i know this is the umpteenth time i witnessed a kitty pass away from brownie to elsa to whitey to patch but this is the first time i saw a cat being put down and finally understood the meaning one minute she was responding to n s touch narrowing her eyes turning her cheeks and raising her chin and the next minute her head was down her soul had flown her body stiff wrapped in her favourite red blanket and taken away by the nurse to be cremated and buried n found her as a stray when she was about two months old in june 2008 an exotic french breed with velvety dark grey coat and yellow eyes she hardly mewed or whimpered even after the tragic fall throughout the bumpy 15 minutes taxi ride downtown and the heartbreaking final moments such a loyal and stoic character such a short and cloistered life salam sayang hope you are happier now than you were before posted by baitibadarudin at 8 03 2009 11 48 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels hearth n home friday july 31 2009 whole foods more dear i yesterday y and i started our day at mid day so we didn t get to cover much of nyc s attractions plus i m trying to apply for a job here so i spent some time surfing for vacancies i m getting used to the subway rides and crowds both the underbelly of the boroughs as well as the well heeled madison and park avs people we walked along madison fifth and park avs to the trump tower the apple center and columbus circle in the evening trump tower was strangely deserted unlike the apple center where you can see people of every age group and skin colour congregate the focal points at columbus circle are the fountain and whole foods you know how crazy i am about advocating organic food and stuff finally i got to taste the no bacon clam chowder and the in season cherries are really yummy and succulent you will surely fall in love with the store too i bet insyaallah later today i ll take advantage of the free entrance at moma from 4 8pm and catch a free concert at central park sorry about the pixs will post latest this weekend salam update joined the friday eve crowd at the target sponsored free entry into moma and scrutinised ensor s work then off to times sq with y s m a to have dinner at a tex mex restaurant and watched kathrine heigel in the ugly truth posted by baitibadarudin at 7 31 2009 12 19 00 pm 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels hearth n home thursday july 30 2009 a bite of big apple dear i today i followed y to her office in midtown manhattan e 56th st on lex av to be precise the subway ride from brooklyn to the city was worse than the lrt or komuter in the klang valley most malaysians would have complained about the dirt and stench long ago in any case i was able to appreciate and absorb the sights and sounds far better this time around than the last time when i had to either push you in your stroller or hug y close to my heart in her carry on in fact i managed to get acquainted with most of the main buildings shops and cafes from 56th to 59th st along lex ave within several hours inspite of the intermittent summer showers and thunder storms citibank around the corner chrysler building in the distance bloomingdale s like a siren luring compulsive shoppers via it window displays straight to its revolving doors gap banana republic victoria s secret oxford cafe fusia you ll find yourself drowned in a sea of consumer bliss in the evening we went to webster s hall to watch v or her glam stage name zee avi perform the opening act with numbers from her new cd i must admit that i felt very proud that this diminutive sarawakian gal could wow the giant new yorkers with her sensous guitar moves and lilting voice i hope to go to bryant or central park tomorrow if it doesn t rain there s something about being here nyc that made me blog again sure i had planned on doing so many things like learning indigo dying and other traditional crafts when i arrived in nizwa late january but only managed to get to know the locals in my neighborhood and the places that i visited such as sohar and sur will post pixs soon til then u take care posted by baitibadarudin at 7 30 2009 12 03 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels hearth n home wednesday july 29 2009 are you going to san francisco be sure to wear some flowers in your hair m y assalamualaikum i miss you guys so much at the same time m y i m glad you re over there far away from the craziness i go thru here y had no idea central park was so big anyways i really hope to go there soonest needless to say it s been a pretty strange week here all the good people are leaving i m quite distraught yasmin ahmad passed away on saturday night i really really need to see you soon i played an mtv concert thing and an hour later she passed at damansara specialist she passed because of stroke after she fainted on thursday and was hospitalised allah maha menyayangi and life moves so fast you don t know how happy i am to know that your days are long in nyc and you re with each other and god knows more people around you there who are different from the ones here believe me it s the one reason among very few others that give me hope the fact that you guys are there together now and probably happy as can be the other day i saw an auntie get robbed by rempits in broad daylight right behind me at the traffic light right in front of our house i reached for my steering lock but i hesitated for three seconds and that was enough for them to get away poor lady she was fine though everything seems to remind me of my family and just how short life is i find myself caring about good people more so much i can t take it and hating bad people even more i immediately called r to...