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Text of the page (random words):
ot a licensed therapist or doctor while i do extensive research and strive for accuracy this blog should not replace professional advice hate misinformation and ableism will not be tolerated this is a space for education support and advocacy feel free to send an ask or just lurk i hope this blog can be a useful and validating space for others like me my main blog alexandraisyes mental health aspd actually aspd cluster b aspd safe mental health awareness pinned post disability pride 4 22 rambles of mental illness reblogged cuddlefsh loveridden1999 follow bring back shame loveridden1999 peer reviewed tags fox bright the worst person you could ever meet in your lifetime still has a favorite breakfast cereal i knew a rapist who was an absolute ride or die friend to his gamer bros like give the last dollar from his pocket to a friend who got a flat tire and then turn around and go rape a freshman that evening i knew a vicious child abuser who wept like a baby when her dog died the nastiest human being on the planet nevertheless feels obscurely melancholy sometimes or has high spirits when they step out doors on the first warm day of spring or has opinions on their favorite tv show and which side the toilet paper should hang on and whether or not the room should be cold or warm when you go to sleep we re all still just people complex with fully realized interior worlds none of that will save you from becoming a monster if you decide to do monstrous things none of it makes you exempt from the consequences of monstrosity 36 316 51 546 rambles of mental illness reblogged what even is thiss follow health classes really ought to teach people what the beginning stages of addiction are like because a lot of people don t realize they re addicted to something until they re years deep into it 321 14 057 28 545 rambles of mental illness reblogged alexandraisyes peerless outlaw follow the thing that bothers me about people trivializing aspd is not the self diagnosis not at all because i m supportive of that within reason what bothers me is aspd being reduced to unfeeling tough murderer disorder instead of the desperate understimulation that feels like you re behing crushed alive the uncontrollable anger that feels like it s going to burst out of your chest the ruining your body just to feel entertained for about a couple hours if you re lucky the severe struggles with money because you can t control your spending to save your life the loneliness because not only does nobody wants to be close to a psychopath but you also can t allow yourself to be vulnerable enough on that line the inability to form meaningful bonds even with those who are very close to you because your fondness is extremely muted and it vanishes as soon as you even begin to notice it the possibility that you might end up in jail maybe even die in there one day the childhood full of people who thought of you as nothing but a monster and someone no parent would ever want to deal with the inability to commit to things that you might otherwise enjoy because they inevitably stop being entertaining enough at some point all those things and more being lost and or ignored is what actually bothers me rambles of mental illness you guys can have this too sighs 6 66 226 rambles of mental illness reblogged alexandraisyes follow i ve been so nice about my disorder for so long the next time someone tells me i don t understand my own disorder that i ve put more time into learning about and understanding than most people with a psychiatric license is getting shot i remember telling the tsbs mods back when i was in the fandom but wasn t a mod myself that having aspd would make eclipse ruin dark sun aromantic and being told your disorder doesn t affect your romantic attraction sir i think of all the people who would know that i would be the person who would know that anyways i m so glad that since then the psychiatric community has finally published articles that back up that fact so i m not just trying to desperately convince people that i know what i m talking about since i m too young to know anything and i don t have a fucking phd lowkey i was only 18 when i started psychology posting in tsams and while there were a couple things i got wrong initially since i was still in the process of learning about neurology and whatnot and trying to apply it to a disorder i was also still learning about i really just haven t gotten that many things wrong and it s so gratifying to have solid fucking proof that i was right i was right and they sucked and you should listen to people when they tell you about a disorder that they have and you don t it s not your fucking place to tell someone that s not how your disorder works if you don t have the fucking diagnosis anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk 2 2 11 rambles of mental illness reblogged alexandraisyes follow it s midnight but i m here and i m unfortunately queer and i m thinking about how aspd is inherently tied into my romantic orientation romantic attraction requires emotional connection people with aspd struggle to form and may even be incapable of forming proper emotional connection with other people including their own parents which means that people with aspd struggle to feel or may never feel romantic attraction which means that all full blown clinical psycho sociopaths fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum the more you know vavafafadg alexandraisyes fun follow up since you ve reminded me this exists it s been almost 2 years since i made this post crazy and there s been actual research done to back this up finally so the tl dr and i ll spare you the hours of research article reading something that seemed obvious to me at the time but apparently wasn t to most people is that aspd changes the neurological structure of the brain down to a chemical or genetic level this varies this causes the metabolism of endorphins to be inhibited there is currently debate as to whether or not this next part is applicable to women since there s a gender disparity between afab and amab people with aspd but i m going to argue that the gender disparity is full of shit and that too many people get misdiagnosed based off stereotypes skewing the data as well as the fact that it s severely under diagnosed in the afab population also anything that says men and women are inherently different on a neurological level to such an extreme point when this is a traumagenic disorder that has literally everything to do with your childhood is full of shit in my opinion but essentially as a part of this the brain of someone with aspd struggles to either produce or metabolize again varies based off individual neurology oxytocin oxytocin for lack of a better term for it is the love chemical this really just means it s the hormone in charge of deep social bonding platonic and romantic but is more often referred to as romantic love if it s not being used to refer to a bond between a mother and child due to the fact that people with aspd automatically just do not do this this makes us biologically aromantic boom case closed and everyone who said i didn t understand my own disorder two years ago can suck my fucking cock 2 19 75 rambles of mental illness reblogged alexandraisyes follow i do not feel like typing it all out again 18 38 rambles of mental illness reblogged alexandraisyes follow merch shop opening shop detail acggoods shop detail acggoods com collaborative shop with zthesheep polaris stuff crees a psychorouge keep reading rambles of mental illness it s my turn to be obnoxious 7 14 rambles of mental illness reblogged alexandraisyes follow reminder chat any adult that expects minors to help them fight predators is a predator themselves repeat it with me any adult that expects minors to help them fight predators is a predator themselves this is specifically about adults in anti ship anti fic communities who send minors porn or 18 accounts to go harass creators because i m seeing a lot of that coming to light lately if you are a minor and an adult has ever sent you pornographic or nsfw content for any reason they are the predator nsfw content includes non pornographic depictions of adult minor relationships non pornographic depictions of incestuous content detailed gore or body horror if an adult is telling you they are the only safe adult if they are trying to make you distrust your parents if they are demonizing adult age gaps 18 21 for example if they are telling you to hurt people they are a predator adults who don t interact with minors not predators adults who send minors to harass other people predators adults who try to create shame around fictional topics predator adults who aren t predators keep interactions public or in moderated spaces they don t trash talk your parents or try to insert themselves as your real support system they don t share or link mature content with you period they don t recruit you for internet drama or harassment campaigns they don t make you feel special in a way that isolates you from peers or family and they shut down conversations that veer into personal sexual territory and redirect or disengage predators thrive on confusion they flip scripts isolate you and make their behavior sound normal or even protective predatory adults might tell you they re the only adult who truly understands you or keeps you safe push you to distrust or cut off your parents family they demonize totally legal adult relationships like 18 19 or 21 25 while simultaneously trying to get close to you they encourage you to hurt yourself or others they recruit you to harass dogpile or dox other people they create artificial shame around fictional topics to test your boundaries you re bad wrong immature if you like this ship they share or try to steer you toward nsfw content and act like it s educational or a sign of trust they love bombing you with compliments secrets or special treatment that feels intense way too fast they get mad or guilt trip you when you set boundaries i thought we were closer than that you re just like everyone else who abandons me if an adult is doing this shit to you or encouraging others to do it they re not safe block report tell someone offline you trust 19 22 rambles of mental illness anonymous asked nevermind i regret everything ignore last ask please sorry if i made your day worse tsk tsk i don t know you you are anonymous this is what this blog is for you are not wasting my time you are not making my day worse there is no reason to feel shame or embarrassment i just wanted to acknowledge that i saw it because i understand the feeling of sending a massive ask and then immediately stressing over it especially one that can be seen as embarrassing or vulnerable however random citizen i don t know you i cannot shame you i cannot call you out there is no reason for you to be embarrassed nor do i have reason to purposefully embarrass you that would be counterproductive i apologize if my acknowledgment furthered your anxiety that was not the intention and i do plan on answering it still because you might be a friend in need you might not be a friend in need but you are still a person who came to me genuinely asking for advice and a second opinion from someone who has experience with your question it should never be shameful to ask for help in general and if i did not have at least some semblance of an answer i would not waste your or my time bullshitting one i would instead send you resources to look into it yourself disorders like npd aspd bpd etc are hard to live with hard to understand and can cause a great deal of internal embarrassment and shame just for having them i try to discourage that in this space this is a safe space for disordered individuals and that includes their questions and insecurity mental health alex answers answered ask thank you for the ask generic tags blegh npd safe 7 rambles of mental illness let me get to my lunch break anon bc you left me a lot to unpack alex talks ask box related posting 3 rambles of mental illness regret remorse guilt accountability regret what it is wishing the outcome had been different focus the consequences of the action especially for yourself key traits self focused reflective sometimes selfish remorse what it is emotional sorrow for causing harm to another focus empathy and moral awareness key traits other focused internal suffering emotional heaviness guilt what it is a moral or emotional weight for breaking a personal or societal rule focus internal shame or conflict key traits internally driven can be irrational often causes rumination accountability what it is acknowledging and taking responsibility for your actions focus behavior consequences repair key traits can be rational does not require emotion how they overlap all four present regret remorse guilt accountability example i lashed out and hurt someone i care about i hate that i did it regret i feel awful about the pain i caused remorse i can t stop thinking about how wrong i was guilt and i ve already apologized and made amends accountability classic i messed up and i know it moment regret remorse regret remorse guilt accountability example i wish i hadn t said that it clearly hurt them and i feel bad but i don t think i was actually wrong and i m not going to apologize feels sorrowful and wishes things went differently but doesn t believe they re morally at fault regret guilt regret remorse guilt accountability example i broke the rule and i feel ashamed i just wish i hadn t gotten caught more focused on personal consequence and inner shame than on the harm done to others self loathing can show up here regret accountability regret remorse guilt accountability example this deal went badly i ll own it and fix the damage even if i don t feel bad about it professionalism do what must be done but don t get emotionally involved remorse guilt regret remorse guilt accountability example i had to make the choice i know it was right but i still feel awful for what it did to them and i can t stop thinking about it a moral dilemma they wouldn t take it back but they still hurt remorse accountability regret remorse guilt accountability example i don t think i was wrong but i hurt you i want to make that right the person doesn t think they acted immorally but still feels emotional pain for causing harm and they try to fix it a very mature emotional space guilt accountability regret remorse guilt accountability example i broke the rule and i ll face the punishment even if i don t feel bad about it or think it hurt anyone rule follower or someone trying to prove their morality they take responsibility purely from principle regret only regret remorse guilt accountability example i wish i hadn t done that it didn t work out often selfish or neutral there s no emotional weight just a reaction to negative consequences a wish that the situation ended differently remorse only regret remorse guilt accountability example it had to be done...