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Text of the page (random words):
cebook wednesday april 19 2017 shouldn t i be past this i thought i had moved on so many times i ve been able to share my story to struggling mothers and offer them a shred of hope at the very least i was able to let them know they were not alone and were loved but for the first time in a very long time i cried for my babies tonight an ugly vehement sobbing cry i think it was a culmination of several triggers throughout the day but it really surprised me i thought i was past that i am choosing to say past it and not over it for i never intend to be over loving and missing my babies chain of events 1 yesterday i registered lincoln for pre school he s missing the kindergarten cutoff by 2 weeks he s ready momma not so much 2 while we were at pre school registration he saw a couple of kids he knew and went off to play with them apparently he told the aide that they were brothers she came out and asked me if i was enrolling them both or just the one i apologized explaining that he doesn t have any siblings 3 at church tonight a sweet couple requested prayers because they ve had trouble starting their own family and i already knew this have even offered any assistance i can give and have been praying for them to have the desires of their hearts cue flood of memories 4 the moment i got home from church i had a message from one of my dearest friends announcing baby 3 i am so so happy for her she s known her share of grief on this journey 2 losses in 5 months i m still not ready to be done but i don t think it s in the cards for me i know i sound like a cd stuck on repeat we re talking about checking on foster adopting a colleague of j s is doing this and has been giving him the run down of all that is involved since i ve been thinking of my angels so much tonight i ll leave this little quote i came across the other day maybe i can get it together and make a more eloquent post soon until then hugs and love to all posted by angie at 9 26 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook monday february 13 2017 not ready to be done so it appears that i told a fib i said i wouldn t stay gone so long before posting again well you re not getting rid of me that easily i m not ready to be done but alas life happens and it appears that i can no longer blog from my phone so it took a little longer than i d planned or hoped to actually manage to squeeze in some time to blog from the actual computer i m amazed myself that i only managed to write in once during all of 2016 maybe i m just that boring in the middle of june one of my wisdom teeth chipped the one i tried to have removed right after lincoln was born but was told that it wasn t worth the risk given my age the very next day while i was debating whether to call the dentist or tough it out until my regular appointment in a couple of weeks the cyst on top of my head ruptured so i had bigger problems to deal with while it was kind of scary no harm was done i did freak out just a little bit but it finally stopped oozing and now i can wear headbands again i did make an appointment with the dermatologist though i couldn t be seen for 5 months and she said it was nothing to worry about unless they bothered me last week i revisited the dentist for another checkup and mentioned the off and on trouble the broken wisdom tooth had given me there were moments when i d have cut it out myself if i knew how the next day they got me in to see an oral surgeon for a consult since i didn t want to be out of school our district was already closed for 3 days due to excessive illness they allowed me to schedule surgery for may so i ll be starting my summer break with having all 4 wisdom teeth removed at age 37 a few weeks ago lincoln started packing a bag as soon as we got home for the day i asked him where he was going and he said he had to get ready to go live with his new mommy and daddy when i asked why he was leaving he said because he needed brothers and sisters talk about a knife in the heart we ve worked so hard to give him things and we play with him but the one thing he asks for i can t give my heart shattered we ve casually mentioned looking into adoption there s still a lot of love in my heart for the large family we always wanted i guess we ll see where it goes i m not ready to be done it s been an exceptionally challenging school year some of my colleagues have seen personal and professional struggles and i ve tried to be helpful in all those situations we don t feel truly supported by our administration so it s up to us to support one another while i love my students dearly it s so very hard to meet all of their individual needs sometimes we re truly blessed to have each other one of my closest teaching partners is working on her principal s certification it pains me to see the lack of support she has received and i hope she knows i m sincere when i tell her how much she rocks i ve considered attempting the national board certification process to earn my rank i status but i m not convinced it will work well in our current school setup plus it s largely dependent on administrative support to meet deadlines etc i guess i m not ready to be done i suppose that s enough for today i m rambling i guess i named my blog appropriately posted by angie at 3 29 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook saturday june 25 2016 i m still here wow has it really been over 6 months since i last wrote here a couple of months ago i received a message from a friend checking in saying she missed my voice i appreciate it and i intended to stop by sooner but well life happens i m sure i haven t been any busier than anybody else and i ve even composed or at least begun about a hundred posts in my head i just never seemed to manage to make it to the computer before the thought was gone from my mind replaced by daily chores lists or pretend play with lincoln the truth is i ve missed this place so very much i won t begin to try to catch up on the happenings of the last 6 months nothing extraordinary has happened in our little home that merits a blog post this late i ll just talk a bit about the past week j had surgery on monday nothing serious he had a thryroglossal duct cyst removed for those non medical folks like me here s what that is a thyroglossal duct cyst is a pocket in the front part of the neck that is filled with fluid a child is born with this cyst it is formed from leftover tissue from the development of the thyroid gland when an embryo was forming it went a little deeper than they thought it would be and they ended up cutting into the base of his tongue all that really meant for us was an overnight stay in the hospital as he needed to remain npo for the night and we came home with a small drain tube protruding from his incision that had to be removed on thursday he s doing better now though and is starting to add some soft foods to the full liquids diet we came home with on tuesday i m a new aunt i was an aunt before but all of jeremie s brothers children were already here when we married and i claimed the title my brother and his wife welcomed their precious daughter on thursday evening 9 days late they were supposed to go in that evening to begin an induction so i m glad for them that she finally decided to arrive lincoln is in love and insists she is his little sister he held her 3 different times while we visited them yesterday at the hospital and requested to go back and see his baby frequently throughout the day if friends i have a friend that experienced a l0 week loss on thursday i know that pain but she has 2 other children to take care of as she mourns please help me remember her and the rest of her family as they trudge down this horrid path of grief i promise it won t take me 6 months to return if anybody s even still there to read hugs and best wishes posted by angie at 7 59 am 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook wednesday december 16 2015 it s just a clock we bought a new clock and i m having a hard time hanging it not literally although i ll have to pull out the step ladder what i m really struggling with is taking the old one down it was one of the first wall decorations j and i chose together for the family room after our house add on it s the clock that fell off the wall and had its glass shattered the morning of my 3rd beta when i was pregnant with lincoln and it s the clock that s been in the background of lincoln s 3 birthday pictures marking the precise moment well within a few seconds that he turned 1 2 and 3 but it s just a clock i keep hoping that i can convince myself of that if i keep saying it that old clock doesn t harbor those memories they live within my mind and thanks to this blog i can revisit them any time so i think the bigger issue here is why am i having such a hard time with change lately maybe just because there seems to be a lot of it this year i ve been an emotional wreck and i m not really sure why lots of other unusual symptoms too heartburn when i eat heartburn when i don t eat slight fatigue but it is christmastime and i have a toddler so go figure and the girls are prematurely tender it s normal when it s time for af i tell ya if i didn t know any better well i might allow myself to wonder maybe posted by angie at 10 12 pm 3 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook wednesday october 28 2015 how to lose a girl in one date this friday marks 10 years since j and i met a decade of us the following is a piece i wrote during a summer writing project during my master s program just a few months prior to that meeting i had a request from my sil to post it so she could read it maybe it will make you smile love doesn t come so easily to all of us how to lose a girl in one date for those single folks out there who just can t seem to grasp the whole dating concept consider these pointers i m offering them from experience yes you too can have a disastrous first date traditional first dates often include a meal and a movie sure there are a million books about what you should do on a date or what you could do to make the date enjoyable for both parties however we have all learned that sometimes the greatest lessons come from non examples so toss aside your dog eared copies of dating for dummies the following is a surefire way to mess up a date step 1 the arrival arrive late not only should you be late picking up your date but also it s not a bad idea to call her on the way to confirm those directions one more time for instance guy 10 minutes late i m almost there how far is your house from the taxidermist for extra credit make sure you drive the biggest truck you can find even if you have to go test drive one overnight this works especially well if your date is shorter than average make sure there is no step to assist her on her way up step 2 the meal take her to a crowded restaurant while you are waiting an hour for your table you can stand together in awkward silence be sure and divulge any idiosyncrasies you might have annoying habits fit nicely under this umbrella as well fellas now s the time to tell your date that you used to smoke but now you prefer to dip that cowboy boot lamp on the hostess desk would look great in your bedroom and don t forget to comment on the gorgeous woman across the waiting area step 3 the conversation make fun of your date when she pulls the movie listings out of her purse to help guide the rest of the night comments such as you actually cut that out of the paper work quite well oh and asking how her aunt died will really liven up the conversation they give you those big cloth napkins she might as well use the whole thing step 4 the extra time when you leave the restaurant make sure you have some time to kill before the movie starts that will give you time to explore those stores you ve never been to barnes and noble booksellers what do they sell there don t forget to take her to your favorite store as well do you like the home depot yes certainly there s nothing women like more on a first date than looking at power tools and plywood with a total stranger but remember home depot may close at 9 00 so you might still have to go early to that late show step 5 the theater part i before the movie upon arriving at the movie theater park that big monster truck as tightly in a space as you can so that your date not only feels she needs a parachute to exit but she also has to keep the door from slamming into the car next to it note this is even more effective if you can park next to a brick wall when you enter the theater be sure and ask your date you didn t want anything did you not only will she feel obligated to say no but that gives you plenty of extra cash to spend on an extra large popcorn and drink make sure you slurp the drink loudly in the theater before the movie starts so everyone else can look at you wait a minute this is the late show there aren t too many others in the theater when you ve finished your drink be sure and put it in a cup holder three seats down it helps if you explain to your date that s so i won t be tempted to dip just to help her understand also if you know all about the architecture of the movie theater or the contractors who built it be sure and share it with your date each time the advertisement slide shows on the screen i m sure she didn t get it the first three times you mentioned it step 6 the theater part ii during the movie after you ve paid big bucks for this late viewing of a popular movie make sure you fall asleep the sooner the better if you can t make it through all the previews it s okay at least you ll be refreshed for the drive home every time you wake up and catch her looking at you apologize and drift back off it drives girls nuts step 7 the ride home once your two hour nap is complete walk your date back out to the giant of a vehicle you drove comment on what a great movie that was maybe she didn t notice you missed it all assure her that you re perfectly fine to drive home after all you just took a nap it wouldn t hurt if you expressed your concern about the amount of gasoline in your tank as you drive her home gee i sure hope i have enough gas to get home to really push her over the top as you pass the last convenience store on your way back to her house take a long hard look at it and ask your date hey do they sell gas there if you follow these simple steps i promise you ll have a date she will never forget posted by angie at 4 34 pm 0 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook saturday october 17 2015 he turned me away for 1 156 nights i have done bedtime with lincoln there have been a few nights when jeremie tried to put him to bed or even that lincoln requested him but i always ended up taking over for the past several months that mostly meant getting him ready and sitting in the rocker until he d drifted off to dreamland some nights he d ask me to rock him some nights he d fall asleep quickly othe...