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g rockferry strangely blank and duffy a pretty doll propped up by opportunistic industry shills is horribly out of line didn t nickelback release an album this year surely that must have been more devoid of well crafted songs than duffy s album and if the words strangely blank were to be applied to any album from 2008 wouldn t it be i am sasha fierce don t people realize that between the two discs there are only two songs single ladies and radio that are above average the rest of the filler tracks range from dull to simply god awful how anyone can find this the second best album of the year is simply beyond me posted by dame james at 1 32 am 4 comments labels beyonce duffy friday december 26 2008 an open letter to elizabeth taylor circa 1963 dear elizabeth i love you dearly and think you are a fantastic actress no matter how good susan hayward was in i want to live that oscar should have been yours for cat on a hot tin roof and only you could have made the heavily censored and camp tastic suddenly last summer work as well as it did and that scream at the very end still gives me chills by 1960 you were so popular that you jokingly accepted to star in the remake of cleopatra for 1 million and actually received it the highest sum of money an actor had ever received upfront to star in a movie at that time over the course of a grueling three year shoot in which you nearly died you made an additional 6 million bringing your grand total to 7 million which equals about 44 million in today s dollars after witnessing cleopatra tonight the catastrophe that you and 20th century fox call a movie i have only one thing to say you need to return every last cent of that ungodly paycheck i m not going to blame you entirely liz for the crime against humanity that is cleopatra the saying that film is a communal effort has never been more apparent than here but honey standing around reciting lines like you were back on butterfield 8 and staring blankly at both of your co leads rex harrison and richard burton all equally lost and atrocious does not qualify as good acting i don t care if you donate that money to charity finance another movie version of cleopatra that doesn t suck or place it in a rocketship and shoot it to the moon just get rid of those ill gotten gains as soon as possible thank you xoxo dame james posted by dame james at 12 41 am 2 comments labels elizabeth taylor le cinema open letter monday december 22 2008 random top 10 sexiest movies ever entertainment weekly recently picked the 50 sexiest movies ever in their november 28th issue and predictably the list sucks major balls not only does it skew newer as their greatest ever lists always do but some of their entries don t make any sense at all his girl friday at 2 really i know it s been awhile and i m really not it s biggest fan but i seriously don t remember anything that screamed sex at me once at 11 you mean that movie in which the main guy tries to woo the girl in the first scene finds out she s married gives up and spends the rest of the time making his average indie music yeah i couldn t keep my erection down during that one since ew s choices sucked so much i have decided to offer my picks for the 10 sexiest movies ever 10 it happened one night 1934 coming at the beginning of the hays production code which limited the amount of morally objectionable content on screen to absolutely zero it happened one night managed to sneak in almost undetected by the censors not only is the witty repartee brimming with sexual tension but the individual moments the walls of jericho clark gable taking off his shirt the dreamy moment in the hay claudette colbert trying to catch a ride make it even steamier 9 cat on a hot tin roof 1958 sure brick paul newman is a sexually confused alcoholic who wants nothing to do with his wife in heat maggie elizabeth taylor but cat on a hot tin roof captures the sweaty lusty atmosphere of a hot summer day in the deep south unlike any film i ve ever seen through maggie s constant pleading every slight touch and gaze between her and her unresponsive husband radiates more lustiness than you could possibly imagine 8 the lady eve 1941 barbara stanwyck practically glows with sexual prowess everytime she appears on screen no matter the genre but she was never more lust worthy than when she seduces a nerdy henry fonda who was just returning from a year long expedition studying snakes in the amazon in her cabin purring into his ear and slowly running her fingers through his hair this is one sexy scene that would straighten any anaconda 7 romeo and juliet 1968 i ve already talked about this one at length but let me just reiterate forbidden love tight 16th century pants leonard whiting s naked butt hot hot hot 6 black book 2007 carice van houten is a sex goddess whether she s being rescued by a hunky sailor or saving her ass from the concentration camp by sleeping with a high ranking nazi van houten always knows how to turn on the audience in black book i should know that first sex scene between her and sebastian koch turned me on in ways i never thought a straight sex scene could 5 bonnie and clyde 1967 normally guns and violence completely turn me off but with warren beatty and faye dunaway behind the guns and perpetrating the crimes murder and bank robbery has never looked more stylish and glamorous 4 flesh and the devil 1927 when people complain about old movies especially silent pictures being completely irrelevant and sexless they should be pointed towards flesh and the devil as a counter example to this stereotype real life lovers greta garbo and john gilbert are so intimate in their first alone moment that i swear that they were only moments away from penetration and no one but garbo could make drinking from a communion glass so erotic 3 breathless 1960 the relationship between jean seberg s papergirl and car thief jean paul belmondo is charming throughout the entire film but it is during the 20 minute interlude in seberg s apartment that the sexiness really emerges belmondo clad only in his boxers and seberg sit around and talk about nothing in particular but it s all charming and sexy in it s own french way 2 brokeback mountain 2005 okay so although i ve scene rape scenes in other films that were less uncomfortable than the first sexual encounter between ennis and jack in brokeback the facts are the rest of the little time they spend together over the next 20 years include some very hot moments case in point their first real love making scene in the tent or their first embrace after meeting for the first time in four years 1 y tu mamá también 2002 i know that the celebrated three way which turns into a full on diego luna and gael garcia bernal makeout session part way through is the piece de resistance of this film lord knows i ve rewound that scene a good 10 or 15 times however many of the other sex scenes between either gael diego and maribel verdu are just as hot dirty and erotic as that scene i ve never seen a film before that has celebrated sex in such an open way and actually made it look sexy without depicting it unrealistically diego finishes way too early for maribel s liking during their scene together y tu mamá también is the rare film that will turn you on but also make you think and feel for these characters beyond the sexpots they are posted by dame james at 11 23 pm 3 comments labels barbara stanwyck bonnie and clyde boys boys boys breathless brokeback mountain carice van houten clark gable elizabeth taylor gael garcia bernal greta garbo jean paul belmondo paul newman random top 10 friday december 19 2008 in case you think i ve forgotten happy 28th birthday jakey no matter what people magazine says you ll always be my sexiest man alive posted by dame james at 8 47 pm 1 comment labels birthday boys boys boys jake gyllenhaal well you know that angelina s a bitch exact quote from my mother while we were discussing jennifer aniston s latest antics and how she s probably going to either hold brangelina hostage during a random premiere for benjamin button in japan or just kidnap pax either or i m still on her side angelina can suck it posted by dame james at 9 30 am 2 comments labels angelina jolie friends and family say the darndest things jennifer aniston starting to look backwards i ve been trying to reboot my film logs and diva cup awards page for a few months now figuring out a way to meet my demanding standards i hope to one day post my film logs for as far back as the 1910 s and along the way integrate my retroactive diva cup awards on this site as well i m going to work out the kinks as i go along but for now here s what i have done so far just click on the pictures to be redirected posted by dame james at 12 32 am 1 comment labels le cinema thursday december 18 2008 horton hears the voice of god my parents rented horton hears a who the other day and since i had nothing else going on i decided to watch it with them the film ended up being not that bad which was a huge surprise given the fact that the beginning is mostly jim carey doing his same stupid shtick that he s been delivering for years albeit this time in the form of an elephant steve carell comes in at about the 20 minute mark and proceeds to make it a better film but that s because he s a comedic genius and carey is only interesting if you re 12 while watching the film i caught on to a hidden subtext that when i brought it up neither of them had caught on i don t know if it s supposed to be there or if i m just reading too much into it but i felt like horton hears a who is really a thinly veiled religious tale straight out of the bible don t believe me let s take a look at the mayor of whoville the mayor hears a strange voice coming from the sky that he can t see or touch he must put his faith in this unseen presence to get him though difficult times and save whoville from destruction he has to pass on the word of god to a crowd of unbelievers he tells them you can t see him or feel him but he s there and must convert them to save their lives once the unbelievers are converted they must chant we are here to this and any unknown forces above them to let them know just that they exist and need him them and while we re at it let s discuss horton he hears a voice coming from some place he can t see and automatically has a blind faith in this voice he must contend with a non believer who ridicules his belief in something in he can t see the non believer goes so far as to resort to violence in order to squash horton s beliefs in bible terms this non believer would be equivalent to the romans horton stays true to his beliefs even when everyone is telling him to give it up and he is rewarded in the end with the knowledge that believing is better than seeing who knew you could find this much subtext in a deceptively simple story meant for children posted by dame james at 1 28 am no comments labels le cinema steve carell wednesday december 17 2008 riley s next move i finally caught up with anton corbijn s widely acclaimed ian curtis biopic control a couple of days ago and i actually enjoyed it a bit more than i thought i would it avoids biopic clichés for as long as it possibly can and actually invokes an atmosphere instead of following the typical paint by numbers trajectory of something like walk the line for the most part i was struck by the fact that corbijn lingers so long in the realm of the sad and uncomfortable countless scenes went by in which i just couldn t get over how sad i felt for these poor people i felt bad for samantha morton when she tries to get sam riley to open up to her and he just can t won t answer her i felt bad for sam riley when he admits that he s not a good father and when he couldn t express himself i felt bad for the rest of joy division because they had no idea how to handle ian s epilepsy and increasingly erratic behavior sam riley s performance in control is what really makes the film for me however throughout the course of the film there s something completely haunting riley s ian curtis and no matter how happy he is at a given moment that dead look in his eye never goes away corbijn relies on riley to do a lot of his acting with his eyes and he is more than up for the task he s so good at this he really could have been a silent movie star all he needs to do is stare soulfully and he conveys everything he needs to do i really would love to see a movie with him and kristen stewart in which they just stared at each other since i was so blown away by riley i checked out his imdb page to see what he was doing next since control he s only done a couple episodes of law order svu say what and something called franklyn i have no idea what caught my eye however was a film he is currently working in that s supposed to be released in 2010 called 13 it s a remake of some italian film and has quite an eccentric cast in addition to riley there s jason statham mickey rourke ray liotta ray winstone and 50 cent seriously sam riley you are so talented you shouldn t even be watching a movie with fiddy in it let alone working on one with him this is the only thing listed on the website so i hope that he finds a good film soon that will challenge him and prove yet again what a fantastic actor he is posted by dame james at 10 00 am 7 comments labels 50 cent boys boys boys le cinema sam riley tuesday december 16 2008 hsm4 casting in a perfect world we all know that hsm4 is a given right no matter how much we protest the fact that they ll continue the east high legacy without troy sharpay ryan and the rest of the original cast it s going to happen and we need to accept it with the cast they introduced in hsm3 which includes the rocketman whom a lot of people can t stand tiara whom i can t stand and the rocketman s little friend who looks like he s 8 seriously did i really need to see him without a shirt on longer than i saw zac efron s naked torso i totally understand why no one is excited for this film this afternoon however i totally thought of the perfect way to make hsm4 less excruciating and maybe even slightly enjoyable while banking on the talents of a up and coming pop act who could use the exposure to make their big american crossover who am i talking about why same difference of course seriously can t you just imagine how amazing this would be sean and sarah can be tiara s school mates from the london dramatic academy who transfer to east high when they hear how great their dramatic department is minor detail doesn t matter in the hsm movies since she was so amazing at that school according to the film anyways in real life we all can see that she sucks major balls she didn t even pay attention to these up and comers but now that they re invading on her newly claimed turf she s scared for her position imagine her and everyone in the drama department s surprise when they turn out to be the sweetest people imaginable and would never do anything to backstab ...