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side of a canyon that looks eerily similar to the canyon james franco is climbing in the trailer for 127 hours hm maybe britney cutting off her own arm would have made this video watchable and would have gotten me to a theatre to see britney do her thing on screen previous installments baby one more time sometimes you drive me crazy the stop remix from the bottom of my broken heart born to make you happy oops i did it again lucky stronger don t let me be the last to know i m a slave 4 u posted by dame james at 12 15 am 1 comment labels britney spears britney s videography music videos pop music wednesday december 15 2010 top 10 worst songs of 2010 the time has come to start honoring the highlights of 2010 let s begin by getting the worst songs of 2010 out of the way last year i complained ad nauseum about the unholy horrors unleashed upon us known as boom boom pow the climb and fireflies but i feel like 2010 offered up even worse dreck that i was forced to hear repeatedly on the radio every goddamn day like clockwork please let s get this shit over with so i can put these songs behind me and hope that 2011 offers less horrific music dishonorable mentions eminem teamed up with rihanna on a song about an abusive relationship something they both know a little bit about and dragged her down to his level of shitty musicianship if you think love the way you lie gets to the heart of abusive relationships you seriously need to listen to rated r a few more times usher s omg was yet another will i am creation that sounded like it took thirty seconds to put together why do we keep acting like usher is the great artist when he keeps releasing lazy garbage like this 10 katy perry featuring snoop dogg california gurls there s no denying that california gurls is catchy as hell i know i found myself singing it more than once while at work this summer but the song is as plastic as a lot of people accuse pop music of being california gurls is a lazy soulless piece of music designed solely to be the summer anthem of 2010 katy company succeeded in that respect but completely failed in nearly every other area 09 mike posner cooler than me a whiny mopey loser writes a song whining about all the people in high school who probably think they were cooler than him grow up and get a real problem mike 08 b o b featuring bruno mars nothin on you the first entry for both b o b and bruno who both memorably contributed to this year s parade of shitty music nothin on you would probably be an okay song if you heard it once while drunk at the bar but after hearing it over and over and over and over again sober it s clearly just a shitty song b o b is clearly the least interesting rapper in the game 07 olly murs thinking of me just think olly has managed to get two equally shitty songs in the uk top 5 while joe mcelderry the winner of his season of x factor and an all around more interesting entertainer can t catch a fucking break if you have no idea who olly murs is first of all thank your lucky stars secondly think john mayer but with even less personality and absolutely no musicianship add in the most trite lyrics ever committed to music by a dude with a guitar and you have thinking of me 06 b o b featuring hayley williams airplanes every time i see an airplane in the night sky i pretend it s a shooting star and wish that b o b and this disgustingly stupidly obvious song would go back into the hole they crawled out of and die this song is only deep if the most complicated movie you ve ever seen in your life is the dark knight 05 various celebrities trying to cash in on the haiti tragedy we are the world 25 for haiti everybody hurts haven t the haitians suffered enough i think they would rather endure another earthquake than be forced to have to listen to either of these turds again 04 travie mccoy featuring bruno mars billionaire just like airplanes this is another song about something that is just as superficial as something like california gurls so if travie mccoy was a billionaire he d help needy people who have a shitty life how fucking original and clever why fucking waste my time with this song when you re just going to make up shit come on we all know what bruno mars would spend a billion dollars on and it s not kids 03 kiely williams spectacular williams of disney s cheetah girls fame tries to shed her good girl image in the worst way imaginable i definitely do not have a problem with women singing about one night stands and embracing their sexuality if you re going to do it however please be either clever about it miley s can t be tamed or just go balls out lil kim s how many licks spectacular falls in neither of these categories kiely comes off as nothing but a trashy disgusting ho especially when she fucking brags about forgetting to wear a condom i hate to sound like an uptight soccer mom but that s just irresponsible 02 black eyed peas the time dirty bit the black eyed peas used to make music don t lie hey mama and my humps were jams back in the day but somewhere after they took a break while fergie went and did her solo thing and remember how delightful that all was the black eyed peas decided to completely sell out and just speak random words over the most horrible sounding beats imaginable that was how boom boom pow came into existence but now the peas have reached an all time low in terms of laziness now they re just ripping off 80 s classics instead of writing their own hooks the time shits all over the dirty dancing classic i ve had the time of my life and then surrounds it with the most nonsensical obnoxious unmusical heap of garbage that s supposed to pass for a tune that i ve heard in ages i didn t think the black eyed peas could surpass boom boom pow in terms of tuneless aimless drivel but the time if nothing else proves that anything is still possible when it comes to this hacky group 01 yolanda be cool vs dcup we no speak americano when i saw a couple months ago that this song a recent 1 hit in the uk was threatening to make a presence on the us charts i freaked the fuck out i can kinda sorta understand someone buying the black eyed peas since people will always buy easily accessible and ungodly awful music by big artists but who the fuck ever thought that buying this song was a good idea this song is so pointless and just plain ugly it makes it look like the time was written with the purpose of making good music thankfully america was spared from this song but my ears are still recovering from this atrocity posted by dame james at 10 30 pm 7 comments labels black eyed peas god save the british katy perry pop music random top 10 monday december 13 2010 the bitch is gone today s announcement that zac efron and his longtime girlfriend vanessa hudgens had called it quits was like an early christmas present no wait it was actually more like a hug from baby jesus actually it was like a hug from our lord and savior oprah after appearing on her favorite things episode and winning a trip around the world on a plane piloted by betty white and mariah carey he s finally free of that soul sucking harpy y all let s take a moment to let it sink in feels good doesn t it now he can go out and do what boys his age should be doing going out to the bar getting drunk and scoring some hot pieces of ass we hear that joe mcelderry is ready and willing your move efron posted by dame james at 10 30 pm 1 comment labels boys boys boys celebrity couples vanessa anne hudgens zac efron why couldn t they just fucking talk about marlon brando i just pissed my pants and maybe jizzed a little posted by dame james at 12 10 am no comments labels diva faye dunaway marlon brando hammer my hoover poor armie hammer the man has the body of a greek god and was poised to be the breakout heartthrob from this year s the social network unfortunately he had the bad luck to be cast alongside the one the only andy garfield aka the sexhair and honestly who could remember anything about armie both of him after sighing oh andy for the millionth time i know i couldn t and it s not as if the boy doesn t deserve at least some of the adulation andy received he s an incredibly good looking dude he was just really really unlucky until now that is rumor is armie has gotten himself cast in the upcoming j edgar hoover biopic once known as hoover but now going by the title j edgar i guess they didn t want people to confuse it with the vacuum this is big news for mr hammer as the film is set to be directed by academy award winner clint eastwood written by academy award winner dustin lance black and starring academy award nominee leonardo dicaprio not exactly grown ups is it when i first heard about this project i was not exactly foaming at the mouth for it not only is eastwood not usually my cup of tea the film also focuses on the alleged homosexual relationship between dicaprio s hoover and his second in command clyde tolson the original rumor circulating was that joaquin phoenix was all set to play tolson and i was all set to vomit in my mouth listen dicaprio and phoenix are fine actors in the right situations and are even kinda sexy in a certain mood but i definitely don t need to see those two frumpy dudes making out not that i have any faith that eastwood is going to focus any more than the bare minimum on their sexual relationship mind you call me shallow but i like my men making out with each other to be attractive is that too much to ask i should hope not by adding armie into the mix it makes the hotness of this couple increase tenfold it s the price you must pay to get on the a list darling posted by dame james at 12 00 am 1 comment labels armie hammer boys boys boys clint eastwood dustin lance black leonardo dicaprio oh andy the social network thursday december 9 2010 i ve got loads more to say about the trial but for now shirtless anthony perkins will have to do not that shirtless anthony perkins should be considered settling by anyone just look at those shoulders the dude has some power bitch shoulders that mildred pierce would be jealous of posted by dame james at 11 45 pm no comments labels anthony perkins boys boys boys joan crawford le cinema britney s videography i m a slave 4 u britney spears i m a slave 4 u new album new britney if there s one thing i ve noticed while reevaluating britney s videos these past months it s that she was the master at minor reinvention madonna has always been cited as a major influence on britney s career and it s easy to see how both of their careers parallel each others whereas madonna gets much deserved credit for drastically molding herself into something new with each album britney hasn t received any credit for how she has changed her image album to album video to video the britney you see in baby one more time is not the britney you see in i m a slave 4 u the first single from her third album in this video britney has all but abandoned the innocent schoolgirl charm of just a few years ago she s not yet a woman but she s clearly graduated from parochial school the idea behind the i m a slave 4 u video britney in an unnamed exotic extremely humid city parties with a group of friends who plan on beating the heat by bumping and grinding and having an orgy is far better than the execution not that the video reaches born to make you happy levels of awfulness mind you but you know a lot more naughtiness could have come about from britney romping around with shirtless boys panting in time to the beat britney though tries her best to make the video work and any positives can be solely attributed to her she s sultry slinking around the maze of a hallway or leaning against a mirror checking out her hot reflection britney looks great as well making perspiration sexy and not like someone has dumped a bucket of stinky water all over her body as perspiration tends to do to us mere mortals she can t save the video however and with such a middling video it makes you wonder why no one thought to bring in the infamous yellow boa constrictor previous installments baby one more time sometimes you drive me crazy the stop remix from the bottom of my broken heart born to make you happy oops i did it again lucky stronger don t let me be the last to know posted by dame james at 8 54 pm no comments labels britney spears britney s videography music videos pop music wednesday december 1 2010 theology henry style who knew that house could produce such an in depth theological discussion between my family the latest episode concerned a man who grateful for a miraculous cure to his daughter s brain cancer every year crucified himself on a goddamn cross as a way of showing his appreciation the man s devotion to god blinded him to reality and it was this devotion that got my mom and brother started this may not be word for word what was said but i swear on a stack of o magazines that this happened mom if god created the world in seven days it was at this point that i started laughing uncontrollably then why didn t he just write the bible himself instead of spreading the world through other people he could have just invented paper wrote it out and people wouldn t have misinterpreted everything brother i have my own theory about the bible who was jesus mother dad mary brother who was jesus dad dad god brother and how did he get a virgin pregnant dad the immaculate conception brother nope i think that jesus was some kind of alien think about it he had to come from some planet where all the things jesus did that were so magical like walking on water are normal yeah chew on that one i am nearly in tears from laughing so hard my father is shaking his head as he normally does after everything my brother says my mother is still trying to get everyone to agree with her view and my brother s girlfriend is probably wondering what the hell kind of family she s gotten involved with posted by dame james at 10 25 pm no comments labels friends and family say the darndest things newer posts older posts home subscribe to posts atom forget eve it s all about me dame james kalamazoo michigan united states a child of marx and coca cola who strives to be dame judi dench when he grows up or kristen stewart i haven t decided yet view my complete profile contact me email rantsofadiva at yahoo dot com facebook twitter recent film screenings cleanflix andrew james joshua ligairi 2009 b dr kildare s strange case harold s bucquet 1940 c pitch perfect jason moore 2012 c les misérables tom hooper 2012 d nobody lives forever jean negulesco 1946 c the secret of dr kildare harold s bucquet 1939 c django unchained quentin tarantino 2012 a liberal arts josh radnor 2012 d beasts of the southern wild benh zeitlin 2012 c ted seth macfarlane 2012 b almost normal marc moody 2005 f hope springs david frankel 2012 c paranorman chris butler sam fell 2012 b life of pi ang lee 2012 b steel magnolias kenny leon 2012 tv movie c carnival in flanders jacques feyder 1935 b week end jean luc godard 1967 a x2 liz...