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Text of the page (random words):
iled at me like the dumb rabbit in bambi i said that was not possible and asked her why she had to miss it court followed by tmi i told her you can take it the tuesday before which seemed agreeable to her exam iv came late dressed like charo still had face glitter from previous night flunked smiled like dumb rabbit again while pointing out things she didn t know because she cut class was surprised again that those questions still counted asked when the final was and said she couldn t make it court repeated tmi was told again that she could take it the previous tuesday the final is thursday tomorrow thumper is supposed to take the final just now she e mailed heyy professor xxxx i m not really sure when is the final is it on tuesday or thursday can u please let me know as soon as possible thank you case 2 record to date low ds on all exams low f on take home open book midterm on which students had 3 weeks including spring break to work cursed out lab professor on second to last lab class because lab professor wouldn t let her in over an hour late received extra credit practice final via e mail which has been opened printed and completed on various operating systems and versions of ms word including 2000 2003 2007 2008 and 2010 then this student sent me this email this afternoon what program was this created on because i am unable to open the file i want to write back i wrote it on super secret software that only cia operatives are allowed to use i never intended for you to actually be able to access the document but since you figured me out you get an a for the term even though you know nothing about chemistry and you were an asshole to your lab instructor saturday may 22 2010 macy from maize on the adult ifying power of the curse i don t do it every day but i curse in class oh noes oh yes why do i do this i do it because i could never get away with it when i taught high school i do it to make it easier for me to teach it s simply part of my everyday vocabulary i curse a lot and to take out something that easily comes to my tongue when i m trying to give real life scenarios off the top of my head is really difficult to do i do it because it makes my class just a little funnier more authentic i do it to share a tiny bit of camaraderie with the students but most of all i do it to make students realize that college is a place for grownups there are reasons it isn t exactly proper to curse in a kindergarten class there are reasons it isn t allowed in middle and high school there s also a reason people give you nasty looks when you say it out in public but i always hated those fuckers anyway back to my point where cursing is allowed not generated toward anyone but as a part of the vocabulary is considered adult space so in using this language i give my students an automatic message that they are in an adult space and they better damn well act like an adult because that s exactly what i expect the first couple of times i let it slip they tend to freak out not in the throwing bibles that they got from the creepy evangelist on their way into class kind of freak out but the oh mah gawd did she just say thayt 1 kind of way there are giggles snickers whispered comments and then i curtly quickly explain to them why i did so that it wasn t an accident and move on with discussion they get the hint pretty quickly and while few of them join me over on the cursing side of the line they accept it and start acting a little more like the adults i expect them to be in the process so what would i do if this was my student well first i d ask if the statement was directed negatively at me or was somehow incorrect and something that i personally needed to correct i e ms x is going to fuck up my gpa see this is incorrect the student is fucking up the gpa not the teacher so it passes that test in terms of whether i would say anything if it were my student in the hallway on their own time it seems rather idiotic to get into their conversation just proves you were eavesdropping and that you give a fuck about what they think which you shouldn t so no i wouldn t get in his face even to make a simple comment like come see me and we can talk more than likely i d make a comment the next class period reminding them that they should come to my office if they d like help with their papers or have questions concerns about their grade if i was really upset by it i d email the kid directly so this ms pyle first it seems like she thinks she s teaching in a monastery honestly i think everybody in this day and age could use a little more respect but screaming at a student because they cursed outside of your class is just over the line i understand that sometimes you just snap but seriously have a xanax slurp down a few strawberry margaritas and tackle life after that and while it s good to see the school stand up for the instructor for once everyone knows there are certain professors and instructors that are just bat shit ones that propose the stupidest things or who have a napoleon complex this was more about her feeling defensive about the grade that was given and whether the student thought he deserved it than whether said kid cursed in the hallway wednesday may 19 2010 perry from pennsauken goes old school and throws in a curve there at the end sad eyes solomon did next to nothing all quarter he rarely had a notebook he often slept in class he seemed completely disaffected by everything the he got a laptop and he was furiously typing on it every class yeah probably playing solitaire or facebooking or on im i am sure imagine my shock shock i say when he appeared 10 minutes late to the mid term sans writing implement he begged me for one but i refused at which point i got the full blown puppy eye treatment it was like looking into a dying dog s eyes a classmate generously loaned him a pen at which point he decided to climb over an entire row of students to take a seat in the middle having barely 30 minutes left to take the exam he started flipping pages i wondered why he wasn t writing anything on those essays hmmm it was actually a quick test for most of the class and everyone finished in about 30 minutes which left sad eyes alone for the last 15 minutes of class the pen loaner asked for his pen back before he left so for those last 15 minutes of class i got to see those sad eyes and frowny pout until i got fed up er i mean solly finally relented and handed in his half empty exam i had warned the class with both a stern oral pronouncement and a note on the board when the exam would be and to bring their own writing implement for the 3 class sessions beforehand sadly he wasn t the only one to forget but at least the others got there early enough to ask for a pencil from a classmate before the exam i am sure pouty mcpuppy eyes ran to his coach and told everyone he knew what a horrible nasty meanypants i was i just wanted to smack those sad eyes right out of his head live streaming video vincent was also in that class he also had his laptop everyday he never met my eyes once during class he handed in no papers all quarter when i showed video segments to provoke class discussion the lights on his face always screamed i don t care about my grade i tossed him from class gave him zeroes gave a midterm warning for possible failure nothing mattered well except those videos he was watching everyday during class i had never encountered anything like that at slightly better known university across town maybe he was smarter i have zero evidence to support that statement though i wish i could have tossed that laptop right out the window chatty cathy loved having little side discussions with her friends i asked her to stop but she couldn t help herself i heard noise saw her mouth moving and immediately jumped to the conclusion it was she who was speaking how dare i she wasn t talking at all maybe someone had their hand up her shirt and the two of them were just performing their best wayland and madame impression yeah that s gotta be it i tossed her from class but i wish i would have made her sit up in front of the class like she was in kindergarten maybe she would have cried that woulda been fun glossary gus was a super keener he was always on time he always paid attention he always took notes he completed two of the three essays best 3 of 4 see how fair i am for the class before most people had done one except well somehow he never learned what plagiarism is in both papers he used expertly worded definitions that smelled way above his ability to craft in prose a quick look at the textbook s glossary revealed he had lifted them verbatim from the book not even a citation or general reference he ignored the warning against plagiarism in the assignment instructions he skipped the warning and listed consequences in the syllabus no no no one had ever told him he couldn t do that no one sadly i believe him i cut him a break and let him re do one of the papers he whined and groaned and protested repeatedly that he would then have to do five papers for the class i thought this approach might actually teach him how to avoid plagiarism in the future i doubt it worked though i should have just failed him for the entire class just for being an asshole er i mean plagiarist then there was a alvin he was the only one to read the 10 page article i asked the class to read he was usually late but slinked into class and took the first seat available before he pulled out his notebook and took copious notes he read the textbook asked interesting questions and seemed to take the class seriously he didn t grub for grades he got a few middling grades here or there but he seemed to take them in stride he was great i wish half the class could have been half the student he was sadly he had only an a so i gave him the grade he actually earned i wish i had given him an a just for being a good student who obviously stood head and shoulders above the dumbfucks he sat amongst damn my sense of fairness and justice tuesday may 18 2010 paloma from pembroke pines posits a pox karma why worry crying caroline was in several of my classes the year i taught at her school she was both a flake and a shameless brown noser an utterly hellish combination when she did come to class she sat in the front row smiling and nodding compulsively like a bobble head doll on crack when she didn t which was always on a day when there was an exam or a major assignment due she invariably had some heart wrenching excuse she just had to organize that letter writing drive to free those taliban hostages she had to take those poor poor under served kids to the museum couldn t i see that she was making a real difference in the lives of others and this was so much more important than my trivial problem sets i hated her i was driving to campus dreading the sight of her grinning bobbing head when the news of the virginia tech massacre came on the radio of course my heart dropped but being in an already foul mood and stuck in freeway traffic i couldn t help thinking i can t wait to see how crying caroline will try to use this to get out of class then i wanted to slap myself for being a cynical bitch flash forward two days later crying caroline runs up to me outside my office she can t come to class that afternoon because she was being interviewed by a local newspaper about how students are reacting to the virginia tech tragedy and the only time the reporter could talk to her was wait for it during my class and this was so important because the world really needed to hear what she an actual university student who could have been there had to say about this very very important matter no our school was not even in the same time zone as vt and oh yes she couldn t finish her homework either because she was so traumatized by the tragedy i should note that our school was in a major metropolitan area with several other large universities of all the universities in town each with tens of thousands of students somehow crying caroline got picked as their representative and of all the 168 hours in the week following the tragedy the only possible time she could spill her guts to the media about her precious feelings was during my class over thirty people died and a community was thrown into a world of pain all so darling caroline can avoid dragging her ass to campus a pox on her monday may 17 2010 how to graduate dear soon to be former students you have begged borrowed stolen done some work and have made it to finish line your graduation day as an experienced faculty marshall for these kind of events we think so you don t have to here are important tips to make your graduation a success your family i told my parents the wrong day by all means invite as many family members as your ticket allotment allows but please if you wish to bring a larger posse with you arrange trades with your fellow students prior to arriving at the coliseum where the ceremony will be held our ushers don t like it when you yell them who should have to wait in the hot car great grandma or my toddler cousin please inform your family that uncle cletus s best nearly clean wife beater flip flops and skoal cap might make him feel slightly underdressed for the occasion i know your family is excited that you are graduating and they want to represent for you however if the people in the room can t hear the name of the next graduate when it is called over the 6 foot high speakers that s a problem no air horns arrival at the facility we ask you to arrive one hour before the ceremony is scheduled to begin if you arrive fewer than 15 minutes before the processional this is a problem as we have to get you in alphabetical order if you know you will be celebrating until the wee hours the night before you might wish to have your mommy come by and make sure you are awake in time to arrive that 15 minutes before it makes her feel like she is still important in your life and she has seen you vomit before so it s ok depending on the liveliness of the celebration you may wish to rise an additional 5 minutes early in order to wash the detrius of the festivities out of your hair it look bad in the pictures if your baby s due date was yesterday please consider seriously if you should be there having to run into the bathroom every 10 minutes to check on you takes me away from other important graduation duties dress if you want your family to see you in the seated group of graduates remember that of the 600 of you down there approximately 80 will have hi mom written with the masking tape they were using to seal up boxes yesterday graduation gowns can be ironed if you don t want the square lines from being packaged look i don t have an extra hat or tassel or bobby pins for you so don t ask if your shoes have heels more than 3 inches high you will trip going both up and down the platform i guarantee it conduct during the ceremony your iphone screen glows white hot in the middle of a fleld of black in a...