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Text of the page (random words):
cluding dual mating strategy as a component of mate switching for both sexes the hypothesis explains what we commonly observe a year after publicly declaring her marriage vows a woman finds herself sexually attracted to her co worker after changing his child s fifth diaper of the day a man wonders whether he made a terrible mistake and fantasizes about his high school sweetheart who got away after six years of marriage a woman finds that she s the primary breadwinner and her husband s laziness has eroded her confidence in their union she notices that her co worker lingers longer in the doorway of her office than strictly needed after years of living a life of quiet desperation a man starts a passionate affair with his next door neighbor a woman confesses to her best friend that she s in love with another man and surreptitiously lays the groundwork for leaving her husband a separate bank account and a deposit on an apartment how are these observations any different from what the red pill and seduction communities have been calling attention to for over two decades now interestingly the alpha widow dynamic pining over the one who got away is far more prevalent in women than men watch the ending of titanic lauded as one of the greatest love stories ever told and you ll understand how ludicrous applying this dynamic to men is these diverse scenarios stem from a common cause humans have evolved strategic adaptations for mate switching a phenomenon that is widespread across species the simplest such adaptation is the walk away strategy in which organisms simply physically separate themselves from costly cooperative partners the mate switching hypothesis proposes a version of the walk away strategy underpinned by human psychological adaptations designed to detect and abandon costly mates in favor of more beneficial ones i don t entirely disagree with this notion but it is incomplete without a nod to briffault s law msh is one such strategy amongst others in my war brides essays i detailed how women are more apt to fall in love with their conquerors in ancient and modern times this survival adaptation is rooted in women s need for long term security in post war france the vichy french women who slept with german soldiers publicly had their hair brutally shorn off those women were hypergamously playing the odds that occupied france would stay occupied and fell in love with nazi officers would this dynamic be a result of mate switching hypothesis or the result of women s evolved mental firmware for survival many in modern cultures grow up believing a myth about lifelong love we are told about falling for the one and only we learn that the path to fulfillment is paved with a single glorious union but the plots of fictional love stories often come to a close upon the discovery of that one and only and rarely examine the aftermath the story of cinderella ends with her getting the prince after overcoming countless obstacles a union is finally consummated few romantic fantasies follow the storyline of committed mating the gradual inattentiveness to each other s needs the steady decline in sexual satisfaction the exciting lure of infidelity the wonder about whether the humdrum greyness of married life is really all life has to offer in long term committed exclusive relationships women stop wanting to have sex in years one to four i find it interesting that buss team acknowledges a decline in sexual interest as a pretense for infidelity especially when msh posits that the primary reason women cheat is due to dissatisfaction with poor mateship choices however these choices are ambiguously defined in fact we come from a long and unbroken line of ancestors who went through mating crises ancestors who monitored mate value tracked satisfaction with their current unions cultivated back ups appraised alternatives and switched mates when conditions proved propitious to understand why we must turn our gaze to those ancestors and uncover the mating challenges that they confronted long term mate selection is all about the future trajectory and the future often carries treachery and tragedy with it this is interesting wording from the buss team notice how uniquely female sexual strategies are interchangeable with gender universal strategies employed by our ancestors does this mean the team accounted for men who monitored mate value tracked satisfaction with their current unions cultivated back ups appraised alternatives and switched mates when conditions proved propitious another challenge facing a committed mateship is that more valuable mates initially not present or not available sometimes appear on the scene your mate value might rise rendering you attractive to potential mates who were initially uninterested a previously unavailable potential mate could suddenly become unencumbered due to the death or desertion of their own partner the fusion of two separate tribes could present a fresh wealth of mating opportunities in short the vagaries of life provided new prospects for our ancestors to trade up in the mating market in the interests of full disclosure the war brides dynamic as outlined in my book the rational male accounted for all of this since 2013 in our ancestral past the fusion of two separate tribes often consisted of one tribe systematically killing all the men and boys of a conquered tribe women had reproductive value so they were taken as spoils of war those who had the psychological fortitude to accept that all their sons and menfolk were dead integrated into the collective of females in the victorious tribe those who could not didn t live to pass their non accepting genes on to future generations this is why women uniquely monitor mate value track satisfaction with their current unions cultivate back ups appraise alternatives and switch mates when conditions prove propitious these behavior sets are evolutionary spandrels for conditions that existed in our ancestral past evolution selected for solipsistic women predisposed to stockholm syndrome who could fluidly uninvest themselves emotionally from one mate and reinvest themselves in another it s also why women get over a breakup with poor mateship qualities faster than men can get over women not exactly the win proponents of msh were looking for but there it is all of these ancestral challenges favored the evolution of strategic solutions some solutions involve tactics of mate retention motivations to fend off mate poachers and holding on to an investing partner these tactics range from vigilance to violence although much scientific research has focused on the initial stages of mate selection and mate attraction and some on mate retention relatively little attention has been given to adaptations for mate switching this is an important distinction because proponents of msh tend to conflate mate selection and attraction strategies with adaptations for mate switching after an initial pairing is established this is where dual mating strategy dms and mate switching strategy differ dms alpha fucks beta bucks applies to both the initial stages of selection and attraction as well as the framework for why women cheat within a pairing msh only addresses infidelity from within an established pairing and then only focuses on the long term security needs beta bucks side of the hypergamous equation dms is a more complete framework in that it accounts for short term sexual benefits and long term security benefits both before and after a monogamous pairing one of the most important involves monitoring a partner s mate value which is made up of dozens of qualities these include social qualities the status or esteem in which they are held their network of friendship and coalitional allies the power of their kinship alliances physical qualities also contribute to mate value such as athletic prowess physical formidability attractiveness and observable cues to health msh gives scant mention of physical qualities as a criterion for possible mate switching but this is one of the few instances where buss team acknowledges it in passing however it should be noted that this mention is still in the context of long term pairing as an ultimate outcome it is not cast as the proximate outcome of short term sexual genetic benefits women are interested in the visceral arousal cues of dads but for different reasons than those of cads personality is important too is a partner energetic dependable ambitious emotionally stable sociable easy going or dominant most of these qualities change over time and social status can rise or fall a partner s mate value is critically also a function of how much they value you the technical term is welfare trade off ratio wtr the ratio of how much value they place on your welfare relative to their own welfare some mate selectors suffer a rude shock when a high wtr during the courtship phase turns into a selfishly skewed wtr after the wedding vows this might be one reason why divorce is most common in the first few years of marriage and then tapers off over time a partner who initially shows high investment might curtail that investment over time relationship satisfaction a barometer that goes up and down with the tides of time is the key psychological monitoring mechanism that tracks components of a partner s mate value their level of investment and the wtr they hold with respect to you if the anti red pill proponents of msh were attempting to defuse the black pill notion that the juice is never worth the squeeze this list of prerequisites only confirms their observations the academic gatekeepers who post data sets about how height looks affluence and prestige don t matter in terms of attraction all in an effort to confound the red pill aren t doing themselves any favors in listing the criteria of what women want in a man else they switch up to a better option than him after 5 7 years of marriage to the letter this has been the black pill position for as long as the movement has existed they can t measure up either in the attraction phase or retaining women after a pairing so what s the point of trying mate value within couples is inherently relative consequently monitoring a partner s mate value is not enough self assessment is required a woman s or man s mate value can increase over time either person might rise in status inherit a bounty of resources or distinguish themselves through acts of bravery leadership or wisdom rendering them more desirable on the mating market a woman whose mate value increases can find herself dissatisfied with her husband even if his overall desirability has remained unchanged once again this relativity in sexual market value was succinctly covered in my essay hypergamy is not a straitjacket chalk another one up to the red pill however the distinction i made is that mate value has a far more predictable trajectory for men and women than buss team is willing to admit i also smell hints of the blank slate in quotes like a woman s or man s mate value can increase over time either person might rise in status inherit a bounty of resources or distinguish themselves through acts of bravery leadership or wisdom rendering them more desirable on the mating market this is patently false because it presumes the metrics for mate value are measured by unisex criteria these criteria are male specific evaluations of the mate value women hold for men men do not care about status affluence bravery leadership and wisdom when evaluating a woman s mate value at least not in an appreciable way that would lead a man to cheat on his wife buss team attempts to gender neutralize here but in doing so they exposed their biases in the development of msh these value attributes are decidedly male attributes not equally applicable to either person why a woman whose mate value increases can find herself dissatisfied with her husband even if his overall desirability has remained unchanged again what are the criteria for women s self perceived mate value up to now buss team has evaluated these qualities according to a male metric a woman promoted to cfo in her company may perceive her mate value to be above her blue collar husband s buss team uses male attraction cues as value indicators interchangeably for women women high in attractiveness elevate their mating standards expecting higher levels of mate qualities on metrics such as status resources commitment and cooperativeness a woman s mate value even varies over the monthly ovulation cycle to the degree that a woman s mate value is a function of her fertility she becomes more desirable around ovulation than at other phases of her cycle subtle changes in women s attractiveness reflect these ovulation shifts their skin glows a bit more their waist to hip ratio becomes slightly lower and their voices rise a bit all qualities found to enhance perceptions of female beauty the fact that women become more exacting in their mate preferences at precisely this time in their cycle might reflect an adaptation to monitor their own mate value and adjust their standards accordingly it is the height of irony that buss team still acknowledged ovulatory shift in 2017 to affirm msh that academic gatekeepers think is irrelevant in 2024 while dual mating strategy isn t as entirely dependent on ovulatory shift as the gatekeepers would have us believe it is a crucial element in balancing the alpha fucks beta bucks equation note that buss team focuses primarily on the long term security side of this equation but here we see another nod to the short term sexual side for all the contentious hand wringing about ovulatory shift being unreplicable in research the mate shifting hypothesis was initially just as dependent on it as the dual mating strategy we do not know whether these cyclical or more enduring changes in women s desirability influence qualities such as their level of satisfaction with their current partner their attraction to alternative potential mates their effort to cultivate backup mates or their temptation to have an affair but there is tantalizingly suggestive evidence one study found that women are most likely to evade their partner s mate guarding efforts precisely around their most fertile phase an effect most pronounced among women partnered with men low in attractiveness these women find themselves more interested in attending social events perhaps because they might interact with alternative mates and they report engaging in greater flirtation with men other than their regular partner these findings point to the possibility that women monitor their own mate value and when it increases alternative mates can seem more attractive this in turn requires monitoring alternative possible mates dual mating strategy already accounted for all of these alpha fucks ovulatory shift variables from the short term sexual perspective dms is the hands down winner in explaining why women cheat as well as why women select the men they pair with i...