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Text of the page (random words):
ore he has the chance to hurt anyone else we care about posted by jay at 8 00 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels lb grant wanting it all tuesday december 22 2015 forever and always cont this is a fictional story continued from last week s post my forehead is pressed against the hallway corner and my ass is still warm from the spanking you gave me a few minutes ago you told me that you never stopped loving me i do believe you but i can t help wondering how you could put me through so much heartache i was in so much emotional pain when i thought you had been taken away from me it scares me still to know that you could do something without thinking of the possible consequences and not come home not come back to me why there s just no way it could have been worth it to you i don t want to go through that again i want to move passed it and i m working on it but you are going to have to help me i can t do it alone i know why i m tired a lot and i know why i don t want to do the things i used to because you are right i am afraid i m afraid of caring too much and afraid of losing you i m afraid of getting hurt my heart was broken and i m not back to normal yet i still get anxious angry and depressed at times in hindsight i stopped doing my normal things like video games darts blogging etc because in my mind they just aren t worth my time when i could be in your arms where i can still feel protected and like you aren t going anywhere that s where i feel safe i m not ready to do other things yet we are moving slowly and i need that right now i just wish i knew how to tell you all of this so that you d understand where i m coming from because i ve never stopped loving you either those moments where i can t look at you aren t because i don t love you or have stopped loving you or have given up i can t look at you because of me because i truly believe that i am not worth the trouble my heart mind and soul are so fragile right now why would anyone bother why would anyone want to take care of to love to cherish to protect me it s too much hassle too much work too much to ask so i look down and cry broken weak and worthless so much for that strong independent young woman i have no doubt that i will be that person again maybe not as young and maybe a little stronger but i do know that it s going to take time you once compared addiction to something like cancer you asked if i got cancer does that mean you d stop loving me the answer is no i would still love you if you had cancer just like i still love you today i believe we will get through today for a better tomorrow but i ask you the same thing only i ll compare being broken and afraid to being really sick would you leave my bedside and stop loving me you often ask me what s wrong and want me to talk to you but i don t want to sound like i m always nagging and complaining i don t want you to get defensive i don t want you to think that you re not doing anything right i see you trying and i even see you adjusting the things that i don t like or would like to change are things that would ultimately protect you protect us from things that could go wrong and be out of our control you don t think we can control others you re right but we can control enough of what we say and do to make a difference i don t want to look back with regret and say that s the day i lost you i want to look back with pride and say that s the day we found us again that s when we put ourselves and our relationship on the top of our priority list i guess the answer to your question of why have you stopped is so much more than i just don t feel like it i don t know or i m afraid so how do i explain this to you maybe i need to do something i used to do i ll type up a blog entry then you ll read it and we ll talk about it from the corner i call out honey yes love may i go publish a blog post i think it ll help me gather my thoughts after a pause yes you may but i better not catch you reading other stories yes sir as i turn around to head to the computer desk and start to pass our bedroom door you arrive with our new leather paddle in hand before you go why don t you bend over so i can make sure you re sitting on a freshly warmed behind while you type yikes i bend over with my hands on my knees and he places his hand on my lower back he delivers nine solid whacks then he sends me on my way with a kiss the cool leather computer chair is actually quite soothing while i start putting together my thoughts to be continued wow this story that i ve created with it s made up corner time actually worked very well for figuring out how to share what i m feeling posted by jay at 5 01 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels acceptance communication stories of us vulnerability tuesday december 15 2015 forever and always i used to write stories of events that actually haven t happened outside of my head these were usually stories of things that i might have liked to have happened for instance if i wanted a conversation to go a certain way between tom and myself then i would make up a dialogue and scene to go with it after reading it tom would understand where i m coming from a little better and then we could have a conversation about it this is one of those stories come with me your expression tells me i shouldn t argue and you hold out your hand expectantly i m not exactly sure what to think slowly i reach out and you take my hand you turn and you pull me toward our bedroom you take me to the bench at the end of our bed and sit down before pulling me over your lap lots of emotions are running through my head anxiety excitement slight confusion and yes even a little fear you rest your left hand on my waist and your other hand starts caressing my bottom i think it s time for a change you haven t had quality time over my knee in a while so i m going to change that umm you pop my bottom hard three times but they don t really make much of an impression as my jeans are still on all i want to hear from you right now is yes sir yes sir i reply quietly stand up for a minute you unbuckle my belt and undo the button on my jeans then you slide them down to my ankles and tip me back over you start spanking in a light and playful manner at first a couple of minutes go by before you say i know you miss this i nod even though it wasn t a question lift up a bit my love he slides my panties down and massages my cheeks you aren t even pink yet let s try to fix that you start spanking again but harder this time another minute or two passes you don t blog or talk about this as much anymore why do you think that is i just shrug my shoulders the next volley comes hard and fast from your strong hand yes you do know you pause to grab something behind you i don t know what it is but i have a feeling that i m about to find out smack oh it s definitely made of wood smack i think you re afraid but i m just not sure what you are afraid of are you afraid of me smack no ow smack then what are you afraid of smack i guess i m afraid of getting hurt you pause and i can tell you are wondering if you are hurting me now rubbing my lower back you ask does that mean you don t trust me anymore that you don t trust me not to hurt you i do trust you i just feel that it s been so long since we ve played that maybe my pain tolerance isn t what it was and you may not remember that i ll need a warm up also i don t always want to put any expectations on either of us when it comes to playing and i really don t know how to tell you exactly what i want when i m not sure myself you start rubbing my bottom again which is starting to feel really good i guess it s just become easier to not say anything whether it s online in a journal or when we re talking i know i don t want this to become repetitive to where either of us get bored and i don t want it to always be predictable like this my rear is met with a quick few swats mhm sometimes i would like a spanking to be for fun or be more serious or be for naughty reasons sometimes i d like more of a warm up and or more aftercare you throw in three hard and fast swats for each cheek guilt guilt is another reason i feel guilty for wanting all of this in the first place i know it isn t easy for you i think about spanking a lot and see lots of opportunities for it but i know you mainly associate it with love making i don t want to burden you with something that i think i want it s not a need after all you pause again do you like giving blow jobs you know i told you that i used to hate giving them but you give me head and do it quite well for someone who can t stand it why do you do that for me because i love you and because i know you enjoy it you pick up the brush or paddle again oh ouch exactly so what makes you think i wouldn t do the same for you and for the same reasons yikes because i know i m not worth the effort my eyes start watering that s it stand up and look at me with tears in my eyes i slowly look up at you you hold my face in your hands as you look back at me i love you with all my heart you mean the world to me you need to stop thinking so badly of yourself you pull me in close for a firm hug that makes me feel protected i want you to spend a few minutes in the corner in the hallway by our bedroom door put your hands behind your back holding your elbows feet apart and forehead against the corner i m going to fix the bed and then i ll come get you i am sorry that this year has been so rough on us and especially on you i know it may not have seemed like it but i need you to know that i ve never stopped loving you i want to be here to love cherish and protect you forever and always use this time to think about what i ve said yes sir as i turn to obey he smacks my retreating rear to be continued posted by jay at 10 50 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels stories of us older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me jay i am an independent levelheaded young woman who enjoys being spanked and wants to let go from time to time view my complete profile a proud member of my popular posts oh the irony last night my fiancé decided to have a frank discussion about the possibility of the police being called so that if it ever happened we wo not many answers this week but i do have questions two weeks ago i felt light hearted and hopeful last week i felt the weight of the world i can t explain it but it was definitely ha three three and lol days erica scott passed along an interesting challenge suggested by six of the best and found here of picking three of your saddest memories just a reminder continuing on wordpress for everyone with active links to this version of my blog please update them to the wordpress version which can be found here i will no new implement s before my shower last night tom asked me do we still have the ankle and wrist restraints i eyed him curiously from the bath browsing through old files i ve been browsing through old photos and notes on my iphone recently i have photos dating back to 2011 and notes back to 2013 i though first household rule our first household rule do not interrupt each other it is disrespectful and we both need to stop doing it consequence if i break the livia grant s protecting it all is now available it seems i ve come down with a sinus infection and a severe inner ear infection very painful so i m taking a break from my storyte blog archive 2020 4 february 1 just a reminder continuing on wordpress january 3 2016 1 january 1 2015 34 december 3 november 2 august 1 july 2 june 1 may 2 april 3 march 7 february 6 january 7 2014 58 december 8 november 6 october 3 september 6 august 7 july 7 june 10 may 11 followers total pageviews my blog list hermione s heart recap spanko brunch 2 0 for october 25 how do your pets react to spanking bonnie we ve had a number of kitties over the years we usually lock them out when we re up in the bedroom in oth 2 days ago new beginnings saturday spankings in the beginning welcome to saturday spankings as i said in my last post i m turning to a new book for my snippets hopefully you ll get a copy of suspicions on the r 6 days ago heart and soul feel free somebody asked me recently if i m still actively involved with the making and selling of canes well i am kind of aware what s going on there and i do st 1 week ago erica scott life love and spanking well look who s here i know been a while someone dear to me had suggested a while back that i really should have some sort of closure with this blog i knew he was right but 6 months ago incessantly spanked my dad and his lack of polish when he talks so much for squeezing in a post in january at least i m back a lot sooner than a year later i d like to get a couple of unpleasant experiences out of the 8 months ago breanna hayse romance auto collision lawyer side impact case solutions image auto collision lawyer helping client after side impact crash auto collision lawyer what you need to know about side impact accidents if you ve be 1 year ago my bottom smarts signing off i owe you a better farewell than my last post so this is it my writings here came from a place of joy at least that was my intent when i strayed it w 1 year ago chross blogt ch chross guide to the spanking internet dinner for schmucks 5 years ago the long bean safeword goes unused continued from last week as is usual we walked to the pub with val naked alongside diane whilst len and i followed each with a bag holding our wife s clot 5 years ago relativity everything in life is relative one person feels less alone this is a book review i wrote a couple of weeks ago for erica scott s late bloomer i posted it on amazon but i also wanted to share it here i love you 6 years ago livia grant royalty american style i feel like i have perfect timing with my newest release with so much talk these days about prince harry and his new american princess meghan americ 8 years ago black and blue sinposium done last weekend was the monarchs sinposium educational event at threshold we put on lizzie and i presented as we mentioned in our previous post below are 9 years ago xoxo beth still alive a couple of years ago i made a tumblr to post some of the pictures i d been sharing here i didn t know anyone on there and i didn t interact with others 10 years ago alex in spankingland this blog has moved th is blog has officially moved to it s new url www alexinspankingland com please do not visit this blog looking for new posts there shall not be an 11 years ago erica scott life love spanking buh bye blogger i have moved listen up kids i m sure you all know by now that blogger has waged war on adult blogs and will no longer allow nudity or sex 11 years ago a spanko garden the biggest in with the new ever back on my old blog i just posted a list of new blogs from 2014 i hope you enjoy browsing through them 11 years ...