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a wonderful experience and helping us welcome a beautiful healthy baby girl if you want the novel if you know our family you re well aware that there is a 5 ½ year gap between our third and fourth child as we announced once again we were expecting we received many comments most which contained the word surprise while anna was indeed a surprise it was a long awaited and welcomed one i knew inevitably the day ike was born that there would be a fourth years passed and due to health issues in my early twenties the consensus was that time had most likely ran out personally it was a tough reality but with time the transition came ike started preschool i started working more and looked at masters programs the kids were growing and for the first time in years everyone was sleeping through the night by last winter we decided to relieve ourselves of all baby gear for me that was the last big step to close one door and move forward mid spring i noticed a shortness of breath out running the weeks progressed and one sunday morning i woke up nauseous i sat on the cold tile with my back against the bathroom wall face buried in my hands trying to regain composure listening to ike cry because eliza was once again dictating what bow tie he would wear to church the thought crept into my mind was it possible it couldn t be i had closed this door emotionally life had moved on and so had i like any pregnancy i wasn t sure if i should cheer or panic i got the kids ready drove to church i looked at my watch service was starting in four minutes jared was just walking up to sit on the stand i have the privilege to be married to an mormon bishop i grabbed him by the suit coat and said you your office now his weak petition of starting on time was no match as i dragged him out of the chapel before he could even close his office door i blurted it out in typical jared fashion a smile spread across his face with a calm all right we can do this we walked into the chapel together like it was just another sunday but i m pretty sure i spent the hour with my head between my knees hyperventilating in pew 8 everyone oblivious except the woman sitting behind me with a ½ dozen kids why a homebirth i have my crunchy facets in life and jared well we all know jared married a landscape architect and that accounts for all of his crunchiness so it wasn t entirely that i wasn t crazy about my ob office in town no one had a glowing recommendation the nearest hospital based midwifery practice was in iowa city and history proved that a 30 mile drive was not a bright idea considering child 2 was born in a wheelchair at the wrong hospital and child 3 i delivered by myself in the hospital bathroom links provided if you need to waste yet more time at work with eliza i learned to birth solo with ike i learned to enjoy birthing solo while it was in chaos the morning he was born it was an unmatched experience to catch that little guy and i had longed for it again laying in bed one night jared turned to me and said i can t do the drive what what do you mean i mean i can t handle driving you while in labor again it freaks me out and with that confession the homebirth search commenced we had so many questions was it safe would my body labor the same way being five years older what if we had another heart baby the reality is we ve had a child who was not born perfect at least medically defined sense of perfection the weeks sitting in the cvicu wondering if we would ever have the privilege bringing her home hangs fresh in our minds with every pregnancy there were so many scenarios so many outcomes we began to read to digest to look unassisted entry level certified nurse midwife cnm it was after interviewing a few cnm s we found katie at eastern iowa midwifery we emailed her thirty times and grilled her on every possible scenario as i met with her in person i imagine she was hoping we wouldn t sign on but to be fair i think we were pretty easy clients after all fifty irrational fears were put to rest she answered our questions put us at ease and gave us more information to digest what i really liked about her was the balance of technology with natural birth if you know us you know it takes us a year to pick out paint transitioning from the status quo hospital birth to a homebirth was a big step while it sounded like a perfect fit we still were hesitant one night someone sent us the jim gaffigan skit on homebirth we about died laughing and with the idea that pants were optional and the realization that we had done our research and found a competent practitioner we signed on the next morning months passed and i got to know katie had my eyes opened to new ideas and alternatives to think about as we proceeded to delivery to integrate with what we were comfortable with plans were made ultrasounds done meeting with our cardiologist to make sure we had our bases covered to look for heart conditions my pre natal care was so much more thorough than with any ob anna was due nov 13th and i still felt pretty good pregnancy is a lot easier in iowa fall than houston summer sunday nov 16th back labor started to set in i early labor slowly for days with all pregnancies and i was hoping the end was in sight tuesday things started to pick up if like previous experiences we would have a child within a few hours i called katie jared came home from work and then nothing jared was so flustered that he would miss the birth he stayed home wednesday from work by thursday i kicked jared back to work i was a week over my due and patience was waning finally friday came i didn t feel great i went to aldis mid morning and part way through the store found myself forehead pressed against a cooler door the guy behind thinking i was way too focused on what kind of ice cream to buy when the thought occurred shopping probably wasn t the best idea i went home and called our midwife still not convinced i was in labor i now see i have a history of labor denial until it brings me to my knees it was to be an icy night so she said that she would swing by around 3 30 and check on me and if needed stay the night at 3pm i texted her that maybe she should grab her equipment and she was knocking on my door a few minutes later with jared running in behind her dara was there shortly thereafter coffee in hand which signaled i wasn t the only thinking this labor would be longer than i had originally anticipated i had tested positive for strep b and opted for the iv antibiotics thinking that the last two labors were so fast they didn t have time to administer them in the hospital so most likely this time would be the same ironically i ended up with an iv with the homebirth but it was a painless process with the last two labors being so fast we planned on just sticking the kids in the basement with a movie don t worry we had many discussions including the one if mom sounds like she is being trampled by a herd of moose it s perfectly normal they came running in the door from school at 4pm and i knew they had to go jared loaded them up and took them to hodsons and i promised him i would wait for him to get back like i had any control but it made him feel better the room was prepped we chatted jared made it back in time and administered a blessing everything was in place it was time to get this little chica here like ike my labor was all in the hips and back and so it was really difficult to time contractions we talked to for a while longer as they filled up the birth tub at that point i was all about laboring in the tub but still unsure about doing a full water birth i got in the water and my contractions picked up in intensity the secret they don t tell you and yet the water seemed to mellow the sting lights were turned down music was on katie monitored and there was silence this was by far my hardest birth since my first and yet it was the best as the contraction piled on i was able to focus to think to process and for the first birth to stay in the moment jared and i had the conversation many times about how helpless he feels during labor to know there is little relief he can provide he had asked me repeatedly what i needed during labor since he didn t have to drive or recover from driving due to circumstances i had learned to do this completely on my own with my two previous labors support had a different definition as in i ll never mention the line of profanities that came from you if you don t have this kid in the car deal romantic no but it s what we had to work with so i wasn t sure how to use him i m not an overly touchy feely person in normal circumstance and in labor i m really hands off lets just say the bradley method was not written for us but jared sat there and held my hand in silence and after eleven years of married we both knew that was the perfect support for both of us there comes a time during labor when the clock becomes faceless and time is measured in breath and wave when you find yourself in your own gethsemane with unanswered pleading in that moment so remote from the room around you collapse in fear or find unwavering strength personally it is in that time of helplessness that biology and divinity meld to create the beauty of motherhood it is empowering and in each labor becomes sacred ground an experience that buoys me through the sleepless nights sickness and the uncertainties of life that is bound to come with raising children and for the first labor i didn t lose focus at one point i was asked to get out and use the bathroom my water broke i decided at the moment that water birth it was there was no way anyone was dragging me out of that tub i got back in it was time to push it was a hands off approach they were there if needed i knew the drill for being a slow labor the push was fast about two minutes poor kid had some serious road rash from the quick delivery i picked this sweet little girl out of the water at 7 16 and all was well as always there was the joy of afterbirth the part you forget and wished for the drugs coursing through your veins it always amazes that i can gracefully make it through labor and birth and yet become a completely pansy afterwards katie and dara were fast and efficient and before i knew it anna and i were tucked into bed laundry was in the washer and the room was back to normal pretty sure they moonlight as a hazmat team they stayed around for a few hours to make sure everyone was stable and left us to welcome in anna who was actually nameless for two days into our family it was a beautiful experience my only regret was not having the courage to do a homebirth before the fourth a big thanks to our wonderful midwife katie that ensured we had the best and safest experience possible anna has gracefully transitioned into our family and after a month we couldn t imagine life without her she has such a sweet calm spirit and will always be a reminder that the blessing we seek don t always come on our timeline posted by unknown at 7 21 am 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 8 24 2014 colorado springs jared is one of seven siblings so this year we did our first family reunion jared and i were in charge and being the engineer he is he plugged everyone s address in and colorado springs was the center point outside of the east coasters we rented a historic house in downtown colorado springs and it was perfect we spent the week hiking garden of the gods erin did her first rock climb with aunt brittany jared took eliza white water rafting and ike and i went to the cliff dwellings we spent an afternoon at the penny arcade ike celebrated his 5th birthday and jared and i found blue bell ice cream we enjoyed games and dinner together as an extended family and it was just a great vacation our pregnancy announcement posted by unknown at 1 35 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest washington dc time for our yearly post we do more than travel we survived a brutal winter i think between dec 15 feb 15 we had 37 days below zero by the end of school we had 11 snow days and were ready for summer that being said the summer has been beautiful and soon the kiddos start back to school this spring jared took me to dc for a week i have always wanted to see the cherry blossoms and luckily we caught the very last week we flew in and headed to the dc temple to do a session i finally got to see the original mural that spans the interior wall we then spent three days doing the mall renting bikes puking in the occasional garage can thank you morning sickness and just enjoying some time together my top two favorite spots were the national cathedral which we got lost on our bikes riding up there and missed our tour i put my pride aside and played stupid tourist and scored a tour with the architect on staff my second was arlington cemetery in a city where the pace exceeds human decency arlington provided a place of reflection and awareness we met up with two sets of friends from our houston days we did dinner in and game night with millers and dinner at an irish pub and mt vernon with milenkovics so good to see everyone it was a fast trip but we loved every minute of it posted by unknown at 12 59 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest 9 10 2013 family vacation devils lake state park wisconsin our family vacation this year got downgraded from colorado to wisconsin however not a bad change at all i was so impressed with the area and the park we spent a week in august exploring close to home we booked a teepee at devils lake state park it was nice not to have to deal with tents the teepees sleep 6 and had cots and have a huge secluded campsite we spent the week hiking took the kids horse back riding for the first time and enjoyed numerous glens and the lake the nature center had gps units the kids nature exploration bags to check out which the kids loved geologically this is where the glaciers stopped think of a snowplow leaving 400 foot piles of massive pieces of broken stone the ccc built stunning trails through these rock slides in the midst of corn fields our teepee inside one of the pieces of broken granite you can see the scratch marks from the glaciers sliding over it the kids did so well on the trails balanced rock was a 400ft assent on uneven stone stairs beautiful trail design needless to say the kids slept very well this day balanced rock trail trail steps where is the trail devils doorway we made it to the top view from the top of the ridge our second day we took the kids into the dells to go horse back riding for the first time erin was adamant that she was not getting on a horse for fear of death and dismemberment jared put his foot down and made her go when she mounted her horse she turned around with a gigantic smile on her face eliza had her own horse also and did very well for her first time and age we spent one afternoon at parfrey s glen we had hiked a few count...