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e hasn t he s only 14 weeks oz where are your doggie instincts ah we are definitely in for it posted by kelli at 7 59 am no comments sunday january 12 2014 the happenings of 2013 2013 was a year for the books it was the year of many highs and lows in twenty years when i look back at 2013 i think i ll say i survived that move to kansas hopefully in twenty years we won t still be here i just can t believe i did it it might seem like such a small conquer to you but moving away nearly killed me the actual move driving 1 000 miles was the easy part even pulling up to our apartment i was so thrilled to be at our final destination then it hit me like a brick wall when we started bringing boxes into our apartment we had to live here this was it no one knew us no one cared that we were there no one would care if we left i just couldn t wrap my mind around it and i still can t i don t understand how people can so easily get up and move their life to a different state or country well i ll get off that soap box i meant for this blog to be about what happened in 2013 so here s the list we humbled ourselves and moved into my grandparents basement after we got kicked out of our apartment lived with my grandparents i ll never forget the wonderful quality time we spent with them grandma taught me to quilt i financially supported robbie and i for 6 months with my eyelash business my business grew to be around 50 clients i m pretty proud of that i completed the first half of insanity for 30 days i survived my husband being unemployed which he loved for 6 months robbie and i went to disneyland for the first time together we visited vegas and st george a handful of times we packed up all our belongings and made the trek to lawrence kansas i made a new best friend we made a trip to des moines iowa to visit friends my best friend madi came out and visited for a week i started a new eyelash business i got licensed in kansas as a cosmetologist i started a new job at a dental office i traveled to carlsbad ca on a week trip with my mom and sister i started working in primary i taught my first sharing time and helped put together my first primary program i made my first thanksgiving dinner for 10 people yorks came out and visited us for the best week ever either watched or went to every ku football game i became addicted to many new tv shows including the mindy project the good wife e news ellen degeneres housewives of oc survivor the amazing race call the midwife betrayal orange is the new black sex and the city and more i gained a good 15 lbs that i m not proud of but thought i should document it most of all i m proud that i m here in lawrence kansas and that i ve made a life for myself i have friends i have two jobs we go to church we have favorite restaurants i have a gym membership we live here and are happy here it took a while for me to feel normal but in that time it taught me about myself and about robbie and also strengthened my testimony of god and jesus christ i couldn t have done it without the knowledge of my heavenly father who gave me comfort hope and perspective when i thought i was going to die i did it posted by kelli at 2 49 pm 1 comment thursday december 12 2013 here s my latest hello blog world to be honest i haven t been doing very well lately not good but not horribly bad either so don t worry too much i ve been feeling really insecure about myself in all sorts of ways i think that s okay it helps me work on my confidence and not letting others situations get to me but i really hate the feeling ya know the feeling things that have contributed to my insecurities are i started a new job here at a dental office trying to make friends but not forcing it having new clients to please gaining weight and trying to lose it being in a calling at church that really challenges me wanting to start a family but having to be patient i just feel like a fish outta water over here i just need a place to write out what s going on in my life and for some reason the world wide web feels safe i feel so disconnected from my old life in utah i miss it so much so much but i m proud of myself for making this life in kansas work in a lot of ways i wish i was doing better i expected it to be easier by now i think a big part of me is anticipating going home in a couple weeks and i m worried going home will be so much fun but a lot of pressure too to make every minute count i can t even think about our flight back to kansas i ll be a mess i don t even hate it here even though it sounds like it i think i m just a sensitive soul i m very sensitive to my family and i guess you could say i m highly sensitive to change this week has just been a weird one for me the three weeks before this i was so busy i was training at the dental job so i was there almost full time on top of doing lashes then there was thanksgiving we had robbie s sister here for a week which was the highlight of my time here in kansas we had so much fun and it felt so good to be with family last week and this week have been slower this week especially i ve had too much time to think i ve done a lot of good reflection along with a lot of sex and the city reruns i ve been thinking about what my purpose is here in kansas like i ve mentioned before should i try doing hair for reals like in a real salon with real scary clients should i just keep doing what i m doing juggling lash clients with a dental office job it s working out pretty good for the most part i just don t want to regret not doing hair but i just don t have it in me now to put myself through the pressure it s like i want someone to hold my hand while i start cut and coloring hair on my own i just see all my friends who are graduated from college some even going through their masters and i feel like a big fat failure i know i know i have marketable skills of doing eyelash extensions and hair but like i just said i don t know if i will ever do hair i m pretty good at eyelashes but that s definitely not the highest aspiration i have for myself i think being here has made me realize how badly i want to be a mom can i just be a mom now i m worried that once i become a mom i ll regret not doing hair or something more with my 18 months of hair school and thousands of dollars of student debt i m just going to keep on going and hope that i can make best of my life and that i ll be happy and satisfied i have been blessed i have grown so much while being here it s been really hard have i said it s been really hard yet eventually i would like to move on to the next stage of life but i guess heavenly father knows i m obviously still adjusting to this stage kelli posted by kelli at 8 33 am no comments sunday september 22 2013 too many cooks in the kitchen today is sunday and sunday s are bittersweet for me bitter because sunday s in kansas really make me miss home where i m surrounded by family sweet because i get to spend the whole day with robbie with no interruptions which is a nice change for us sunday s in utah were never spent alone we always had dinner plans with family it is nice to be on our own i even cook on sundays which i hardly ever never did in utah so i m grateful for the time now to cook and learn some of my favorite recipes today i m making my all time favorite pork taco recipe that my dad makes for dessert i made black bottom cupcakes that i love that my mom makes i do enjoy cooking but in my opinion it costs a fortune to cook for two most of my meals go to waste i m not good at figuring out how to cook just enough for robbie and i plus i loathe grocery shopping because i never know what to make for us and get the most out of what i buy hopefully i can get it down before we start a family i have a new appreciation for mothers and fathers who make dinner for their family every night holy smokes you rock this weekend was fun we had game night with a couple in our ward the woodlands we played settlers of catan and i won which is a huge deal if you didn t know we also tried a new food place called thai saim which was so so a little pricey for the quality then saturday we went to the ku football game which was so much fun i am slowly learning the rules of football thanks to brooke and robbie which who woulda thought would make football wayyyy more interesting plus it s way more exciting to watch a football game when you know the quarterback it was quite the nail biter of a game yesterday but thank goodness ku pulled out a win we also purchased a new tv entertainment center thing do people still call them entertainment centers anyways this was a really amazing purchase for me because i m going to whine for just a second here i haven t bought one thing to decorate our living room since we ve been here which is kinda a huge deal because i m a spender i love spending money poor robbie right but since we ve started our new life here finances haven t been as loose as i was expecting which has been really depressing for me like really depressing welcome to adulthood i guess well our living room is where i literally spend a good 75 85 of my awake time so i ve come to know every ugly old empty wall space of that room very well so our new tv center is making me soooo happy right now it s giving me the spending bug that i ve become so good at suppressing the last four months i guess i better get used to suppressing it until probably forever because that is what a smart mature adult would do and use all their extra money towards their student debt which we have plenty of i really hate learning the realities of being on our own that i dreamed would bring me so much happiness but have actually brought me more stress than when we were students ugh well that s all for now kelli my adorable cardigan wearing hubs posted by kelli at 6 57 pm 1 comment thursday september 19 2013 kansas so we live in kansas now it s hard to try and consolidate all the new feelings new experiences and different emotions i ve gone through since we ve been here it has been a roller coaster in just a couple of weeks we will have been here for 4 months i can t believe its been that long but the memories of our life in utah do seem distant i miss our old life everyday we had the perfect life and all i did was complain and mope about robbie not having a job yet i feel so guilty about that now if i could ve foreseen what was in my future i think i would have probably said no thank you i ll stay here in utah but moving to lawrence kansas really has been such a wonderful experience so far i never would ve thought i would love it this much robbie and i have become closer our relationship has never been better we ve made friends that we will be friends with forever i ve grown in ways i didn t want to grow but i m glad i have i ve relied on my heavenly father more than i ever have in my life i am happy here i have a lot of really good great awesome days i also have a few bad days where i all i want is to go back and be around what is familiar but all in all i m grateful for a pretty smooth transition to a completely new life i ve struggled a lot to figure out my purpose here what should i do with my new life i just quit a job yesterday that i thought was perfect for me that was rough i could do hair but i m just not sure that s what i want i ve started doing eyelash extensions and that has been really awesome so maybe i ll just pursue that 100 but i m just not sure that is what i want or should i get different job i think the main thing i ve noticed about myself since being in kansas is my lack of motivation which is really not like me i try to not be too hard on myself i m still adjusting but i think my adjusting has just turned into laziness it s time to just kick myself into gear and get busy with whatever i can ugh so the reason i decided to blog was because yesterday was a really hard day i felt so down and bad for myself i was reading this girl s blog and it kind of inspired me to start blogging again i m really not a great blogger and i m really not a good writer so i feel really self conscious about my writing which makes me not want to blog but i would like to keep writing about my life and experiences here in kansas mostly for myself but for my family and friends too so they can keep up with what s new with us and a peek of what our life is like here i can tell today feels nothing like yesterday answer to my prayers i m back to my regular self i m currently at mcdonald s in topeka using their wifi sitting next to two old couples who are drinking coffee and talking about their catholic views on marriage and football it s great i m in topeka about 25 minutes away from lawrence because the sisters in our ward needed a ride to the stake center but instead of going home and then coming back to pick them up in a few hours i decided to just make it a party and go to mcdonald s and blog i think i ll go get a pedicure too thanks for reading i hope to keep up blogging a little bit but no promises kelli posted by kelli at 8 26 am no comments wednesday october 3 2012 park city a month ago or so i went up to park city with my mom we stayed over one night and just did the things we love most shop eat pedicure late night dessert watch a movie oh and i guess we did go on a hike it was the perfect little getaway for me thanks mom missed you tara posted by kelli at 3 28 pm 1 comment 5 bucks hey everyone so if you were wondering life with no hair school is wonderful i do a lot of netflix cooking cleaning sleeping in eyelash clients eating and shopping i love it all even the cleaning i could live this life forever i m not in any rush to find a job obviously but i sent out a few resumes to see if there were any jobs out there i got one interview and then a follow up technical interview where i had to do a cut and color stressful terrifying things seemed hopeful then i got rejected and it hurt more than i thought it would but i am 92 recovered and moving forward i m going to send out some more resumes since there are a zillion salons in utah county maybe i ll get a job but so much of me doesn t even want to try anymore that first rejection has made me second guess all my abilities as a stylist and even question my personality did they just not like me i m pretty normal right they didn t even pay attention to me during my 2nd interview i m straight out of school don t they understand i m slow and a little nervous to be interviewing they told me that they felt i needed more experience and that they were going in a different direction ah ok you were hiring for an assistant who just sweeps hair shampoo s clients and blows dry people s hair and who you pay 5 dollars an hour so as you can see my morale is a little low i m not in the mood to try again so for now i m going back to my netflix ok maybe i m only 79 recovered but today is a new day i know i have something to offer other salons i am going to try again i know this is a necessary process for the field i have chosen there is somethi...