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Text of the page (random words):
glorious results of a misspent youth saving the world from stupidity one blog at a time glorious results of a misspent youth saving the world from stupidity one blog at a time menu skip to content home who the hell is marissa bergen prisoner in a dressing room posted on june 14 2026 by marissa bergen here s a song i wrote i ve been unable to find the right music so i guess it s more of a poem at this point perhaps it s relatable for many of you verse i really loved the rhinestone dress nothing else to do i couldn t find it in my size i went for a size 2 went into the fitting room it felt a little snug decided to just take it off but then it wouldn t budge chorus prisoner in a dressing room assaulted by a gown if you never hear from me you know what went down verse my arms are stuck above my head i m spinning round and round clearly the dress won t go up nor will it come down i feel like one of those wacky waving inflatable car wash things but the thought of asking for help now that really stings chorus variation prisoner in a dressing room please send help soon tell the cops i m suffocating inside of fitting room two bridge should i rip it open i might lose my mind should i try to leave the store like everything is fine as i wiggle strategically and shimmy up and down i jump and bump but just succeed in falling to the ground verse and as i squirm there on the floor and ponder how to strip from somewhere in the garment s bowels comes an ungodly rip enough give i can shimmy out and hang it on the rack exit the store immediately never to come back chorus prisoner in a dressing room assaulted by a gown if you never hear from me you know what went down leave a comment the bass player plays a sad song posted on may 11 2025 by marissa bergen here s a new song i wrote for the cheesebergens to be sung as a beastie boys style rap you want to join a band maybe play guitar and drums but when you ask the cool cats they say man we have none but if you re still down well we gotta special place see you drew the short straw so you gotta play bass chorus you re a bass player and you re such a nice guy and you keep the band alive without you they wouldn t thrive but your band just left you on route 65 so you played a great show and you think you re all the rage and all the chicas waiting to meet you backstage the guitarist just left with a hottie on the prowl and her slightly cross eyed sister is looking at you now she says oh my god are you in the band you say yeah i play bass as you re holding out your hand but you should have thought twice about that playah because now she s leaving with the keyboard player chorus you re a bass player and you re such a nice guy and you keep the band alive without you they wouldn t thrive but your band just left you on route 65 now you re playing with a seven string you re playing with a pick but you ll never be half as cool as nikki sixx so maybe just retire like who needs to be a rocker but you ll never measure up to your brother he s a doctor chorus you re a bass player and you re such a nice guy and you keep the band alive without you they wouldn t thrive but your band just left you on route 65 leave a comment richard ramirez s dentist posted on december 21 2024 by marissa bergen i recently saw a documentary on richard ramirez due to his bad teeth police staked out his dentist s office hoping to catch him when he didn t show up after a few days they cancelled the stakeout and left a panic button in the office for the dentist to hit if the night stalker entered ramirez showed up as expected but the panic button didn t work this poem is from the pov of the dentist during that visit there he was in front of me his soulless eyes his rotted teeth they said night stalker was his name i pushed the button no one came i showed him to the dental chair and all my tools were lying there a drill syringe and sickle probes would he grab them maybe so another victim in his game i pushed the button no one came or maybe i should be the man and take things into my hands rob this killer of his life save sons daughters man and wife but just one killer there would be and sad to say it wasn t me and perhaps that was my shame i pushed the button no one came and so did the appointment end successfully i will pretend my patient he no longer hurt walked out the door free as a bird and later on the news report a trail of victims fore he s caught and perhaps i am to blame i pushed the button no one came leave a comment supermarket rock posted on december 2 2024 by marissa bergen here s one more i wrote it for my band the cheesebergens yes we are still a thing but this song didn t quite work out i thought it could still make a pretty great poem btw shameless plug but if you want to hear some of the poems i ve been working on that did make it into songs tune into our spotify hey now do you really want those mashed potatoes hey now you re better off with the tomatoes bad decisions lurk in every aisle hey now that teenage bagger s kind of cute hey now it s been a minute since high school but did they just give you a sleepy smile would be chorus on early morning saturdays a female voice rings through the haze as produce workers bring the latest stock a song stuck in your mind s far vault is it indie is it alt but you have coined it supermarket rock supermarket rock hey now looking at the discount baked goods hey now checking out the gross frozen foods the latest thing sits in your fridge and rots hey now gotta get your fruit loops on hey now but you can t locate your coupon as you throw another item in your cart repeat would be chorus would be bridge you can t think of the singer s name but she was on her rise to fame in the late 90s early 2 oh oh ohs and as you pull your cart along a shopper singing the words wrong a fate a one named singer never knows return to would be verse hey now now the checkout process starts hey now behind a dude with a full cart you roll your eyes but you don t complain hey now the cashier gives you a sad smile hey now because she s seen you here a while and asks you hey who sings this song again repeat would be chorus leave a comment truck stop posted on december 1 2024 by marissa bergen hey i used to blog a lot not so much anymore but i ve written some poems lately and thought why not post them why let them go to waste if you are a blogger i used to communicate with back in the day i m sorry to say i can t interact as much as i once did but hopefully you will enjoy the poem anyway thanks i work at a truck stop among the truck stop hoes at least there s free red bull microwave burritos i work early mornings and late into the night for people i encounter like ships pass in the night it s not like there s no regulars there s gayle and joe and beth and the kids in the parking lot who do the trailer meth but mainly i m a pit stop for people on vacation but for me it s not a pit stop it s my final destination not like i didn t once have dreams back when i had looks an actress or a movie star a writer of great books but the world don t need more rock stars as they traverse the miles they just need a clean restroom and service with a smile leave a comment new music from the cheesebergens posted on april 21 2020 by marissa bergen hey i ve been away for quite some time and i probably won t be coming back on a regular basis any time soon i m just here for shameless self promotion even though i am coming up on 50 i am still actively making a fool of myself performing in my family band the cheesebergens in fact we have just released a new album and if you could take a listen it would mean the world to me you can download the album for free at our bandcamp link we also have a lyric video below 9 comments archie s ice cream closes its doors posted on september 14 2018 by marissa bergen when i first heard there was a rock n roll ice cream shop that hosted live bands i immediately thought i want to go to there never mind that its tustin location was some 44 miles from my home in burbank which could cost you up to 2 hours in so cal traffic it was worth the trip and archie s did not disappoint not only did it serve delectable ice cream it was decorated floor to ceiling literally with autographed pictures of the coolest rock stars ever my family band went there every year for three consecutive years in a row to play and we brought my son s and daughter s band out there as well i m so glad we all had the pleasure of performing on what i will always consider to be hallowed grounds it was always fun playing archie s more than the cool atmosphere and great ice cream it was imbibed with the spirit of its owner shant keuilian a genuinely nice guy who loved to support local bands and innately understood the meaning of rock n roll today i heard the sad news that archie s will be closing its doors for the last time on sept 28 as another rock n roll institution bites the dust i feel it necessary to give it the respect it deserves although a mere blog does not seem like enough shant continues to keep the spirit of rock alive by visiting live events in the archie s rock n roll ice cream truck so if you see him out there be sure to tell him the cheesebergens say hello in the meantime please enjoy this brief documentary created by ryan jachetta films that can truly tell you what rock n roll is all about 28 comments stupid punk song cheesebergens video release posted on july 28 2018 by marissa bergen hello followers and friends if you are reading this you probably already know that i have passed on which is precisely why i haven t been around the blogosphere much to read your blogs lately as i look into this batch of molten chocolate that will seal my fate i contemplate the meaningless of life and all that comes with it this video is one of the few things i will leave behind to mark my legacy if you like or comment my soul may become light giving me one last chance to ascend to heaven otherwise i am doomed to rot in hell for all eternity but who am i to make your feel guilty https www facebook com thecheesebergens ref bookmarks 23 comments i m at it again posted on december 20 2017 by marissa bergen that s right just when you thought it was safe to go back in the proverbial blogging water here i am with my hand out again i m trying to get votes for my son s band what you say we already voted for your son s band you say well this is yet another contest and i could bore you with the details but it may just be better to say cast a vote for diabology here combatrecs com and then read the details if you re truly interested by the way you can vote as many times as you are able until the contest ends on dec 30 so anything you can do is greatly appreciated also because there are so many voters the site keeps crashing making it even more annoying it s usually busiest in the evenings in other news since i have my hand out so often i hear that there is a poem about me circulating around the internet you guys don t think it s true do you there s once was a blogger marissa whose poems were really a pisser she had quite a noggin but then she stopped bloggin and some said they really did miss her then one day her blog reappeared but readers found it a bit weird twas only the labor of asking a favor of all of her put upon peers so politely disguised as a comedy and sometimes with a lame apology here s another she s wrote to elicit a vote for her son s metal band diabology so be you not fooled by her ditties her words may be clever and witty but she s really quite sad and perhaps a bit mad but at least cast a vote out of pity diabology 77 comments new video cool by the cheesebergens posted on november 30 2017 by marissa bergen friends it is a monumental day in cheesebergens history please join us by watching this video premier take a moment to indulge in this guilty pleasure and watch myself and my family as we make fools of ourselves ladies and gentlemen i bring you cool 61 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