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Text of the page (random words):
ways write first things uppermost in the heart edgar allan poe menu home thoughts poems haiku journals about contact untitled august 6 2024 ivy leave a comment you run eyes studying the crowd narrow roads before you all you wanted was to run run faster than what s possible get past all you wanted but could never have chase all the impossible for the sake of the applause from people who won t know you you pass by concrete houses built from fantasies you pass by yellow roses you pass by people beaches you pass by momentary bliss without being aware of the transience of it all air becomes harder to grasp chest heaving achily you hasten your last few steps wondered what on earth am i running for seeing for the first time the shape you ve turned into trying to outpace everyone but yourself running in a race with everyone who doesn t care feet numbing knees barely holding white hair falling on wrinkled face will you wait to ebb away before you realize it s okay to walk posted in poems practice poem november 26 2023 november 26 2023 ivy leave a comment fading i m fading like a mist slowly disappearing into thin air i was there yet i wasn t where was i all these years was i overwhelmed by my fears places time supposedly mine all but a far cry no looking back i wasn t there i am here i jumped and sang what a time it had been to look up see the one behind the sun s beam what a time it was surely to find laughter in a society to call upon and be heard only i wasn t lately just lately i realized dreams do come true only when we sacrifice when they mean the world then but now they found new was it you who abandoned or are you left behind though if your heart feels glee you re where you re supposed to be all come and go there s the rest of the road you better forego come here come now will you start living when there s no more air to breathe like a mist we better hurry to leave a mark but is it necessary in the midst you ask will it suffice when all you do is survive to dream or do to find meaning or see what s in front either way you don t just keep asking you ll know when you feel it s worth taking just a practice poem to exercise writing in rhyme excuse the cliches posted in poems differing situations september 4 2023 september 4 2023 ivy leave a comment i oh sweet child she was born on cushions everything she needed was within reach capacity she had capacity and sweet smile she had for she lived happily under concrete roofs though when she grew up laughter sounded far away like lost in time day by day sunrises don t hit her eyes any longer than peace touch her mind and she lost her sight unable to grasp her own life ii oh sweet child she was born on hardwood everything she needed were out of reach or rather she got some but capacity full capacity was beyond her freedom s a hoax happy was she to small presents until she grew up earned silvers and all the little things became as it is little for not a thing satisfies her anymore than a million iii oh sweet child he was born on the concrete of sidewalks echoing rumbles it s what he hears in his stomach above and on each side everywhere he turns chaos freedom he s laughing outside but there was no freedom imprisoned was he for beneath angry skies nights are sleepless and sometimes he runs there he runs trying to grow up to get by to breathe for one more day iv oh children of differing times and places where there s space there s you no one could take that away one might long for meaning the other one to seek more then the last one only wants to survive all walk on roads completely different yet bumpy all the same some stones bigger than others a pilgrimage with varying reasons ultimately to make sense of the nuances of life each looking for something to hold onto even for a while posted in poems words and poems september 3 2023 ivy leave a comment if i were to craft a poem i won t be able to my pen won t let me or rather my mind won t do my head s like a broken pot barely housing the rusty soil where not a plant could grow not even a weed that s free and wild but i got a soul who sings when my mouth s out of pitch i got a heart that trembles from hearing sounds that make it feel so i pick up my pen the second time and try to forge some words out of the crevices of my body to shape my inmost voice with poems posted in poems random photos from my camera roll 1 august 17 2023 september 4 2023 ivy leave a comment click the title to view this post in a better format first out of town trip with marion mel mike cecil and nette circa 2017 sea of clouds in buda taken during the same trip birds formed a group on a sidewalk along san pedro road davao city birds flew when their flock was disturbed by jeepneys passing by photo taken circa september 2018 children can be seen playing patentero all faces are screaming with happiness today they are still enjoying themselves only they are not kids anymore but young adults indeed time passes so fast just a tiny moth on my bus window against the early morning light a poor snail trying to find some footing on the sand only to find himself gliding on glass little fishes swimming inside an aquarium jeffrey had set up my cousin laverne s family complete in silhouette silhouette of people taken on the same day at tukuran beach just another day on the beach with a lot of people this time my attempt to capture both the ebb and flow of waves in one photo looking relaxed but there s turmoil inside this was when my father was hospitalized in december 2022 a gentle sunset outside although i had so many things to think about at the time it did not stop me to take a few pictures lol circa 2021 i usually go to the city with my closest cousin marion and in this particular afternoon we decided to grab each a milktea from our favorite cafe and some pizza we devoured it outside plaza luz and here s a pic i took from where we sat another sunset photo taken on my birthday in 2020 the first time i spent it with my family after working in davao for a few years trees ushering the sunset just before dusk would set in dancing curtains in my late grandfather s room a sunset photo taken at my grandparent s house upstairs that was burned down as you might have noticed i have a thing with windows this was the last photo i took of my late grandfather s room i turned his room into my home office for a few months after a year the house turned into ashes in an unexpected accident february 28 2020 we spent our first morning in our newly built home with a cup of coffee to welcome the day sunset as seen from the unfinished window of our new comfort room looked like a framed picture isn t it the view from the partially covered window of my new room it has been a cloudy season but today when i looked up i saw a silver lining i watched in awe how the light broke through the cloud reminding me of a kid s little smile when you give them candy after they cry how fascinating it is to witness even for a short time how the luminescence forms around the edges of the clouds that no matter how faint when you look at the art that it is look at situations really look at people a little closer a little longer a little deeper you ll find that they re beautiful photo taken words written in march 2022 these would be all for now i ll be uploading more recent pictures soon xo ivy posted in uncategorized pauses march 11 2023 march 11 2023 ivy leave a comment does the moon know that i was longing for your soul when i look at him will the stars tell you the words i can only say through whispers and poems will the depths of night hide my worries away make me brave just this once quiver at the thought you may just be a fog who melts into thin air i cry in fear that it s made up and you re just a figment god forbid posted in haiku forward march 11 2023 march 14 2023 ivy leave a comment stop romanticizing the past yes you can look back and think of it as a lesson or a cherished possession but other than that leave it as it was it isn t okay if you get stuck by it unable to move forward and fully enjoy the moment because of things you re still hoping for or things you can t accept or change i have read something in quora about our tendency to think of the past way more than what it was because of unresolved issues or feelings of inadequacy we tend to picture our past experiences as something that s always better than the present always glorious always beautiful sometimes what we don t realize is that we hold unto things that are actually overrated on the other hand some of us tend to focus on the negative memories and what happens is that the more we think about them the worse they become i am one person who has gone through a lot i heard many words that hurt my feelings and confidence but i tell you those words they kept me company during the hard times despite of it all i tried to grow at my own pace know myself little by little each day and worked my way through life at times when i wanted to give up i remember all the words that pierce like knives and remind myself that i am not who they think i am that i am better than that i can also make a difference i am not a waste of space and i can also achieve a thing or two that i have also something in me what would have happened if i let myself sulk in the middle of my discouragement and misery all the things they told me would surely come true i don t want that to happen i want to prove them wrong or at least make myself believe everything they said wasn t true at all you can say i have successfully turned those curses into blessings in some way i am one human who has made some terrible choices in the past and for this i am my worst critic i am my worst perpetrator believe me when i say i beat myself up so many times more than one can count for being immature and not loving myself enough to just realize so many important things in the latter years of my life why am i sharing this stuff i have to because i know a lot of people are afflicted by their past unhealed still broken after so many years still finding answers hear me the fact is your questions will be left unanswered and you will not get them even after decades of waiting but that s okay the haunting may remain for months or years but the decision to move forward it s in your hands and you can do it right now i might still be suffering if i hadn t just decided to get over things in the past it s not serving me any good anymore so why dwell in it it s true when they said it s a matter of choice as for me even though it was hard even though the self loathing is unbearable at times i decided i have to get past it yes barely manageable but i chose to finally love what are in front of me and started discovering and appreciating all its miraculous beauty and wonder and peculiarities and unpredictabilities i am in no way have the authority of telling you what to do i am merely sharing what worked for me i hope you find what s best for you remember it s all in the mind and you have the power to control it it s time you decide what s best for you the past isn t it stay in the present and find hope in the future something s waiting for you out there to end i ll leave you with this very powerful quote by c s lewis there are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind posted in thoughts tagged past present thoughts will you be march 9 2023 ivy leave a comment will you be the sun who shows up forgives the rain and warms the wretched will you be the sun who bids goodbye to noises and invites chances will you be the sun who breaks through clouds and fogs to find what is within posted in haiku a summer with you may 2 2022 may 5 2022 ivy leave a comment once more i was mesmerized by how the afternoon light reflected on your honey colored eyes making them stand out and emphasized above your black mask how i got to know the soul behind those eyes felt so profound to me and surreal at the same time i swam across the ocean of your thoughts heard your uncommon ideas and felt your deepest desires it was enough for me to tear up thinking that it would take months until i ll get to stare at those beautiful eyes again like the bag you were carrying my heart is full of the memories we ve shared during your stay but somehow i still wanted more more of our walks more of our talks more of you we stand among the sea of passengers who have different destinations you looked into my eyes and without hesitations you grabbed me and pressed your lips against mine for the last time when i thought you were about to go you pulled me close and held me tight feeling every last seconds we have together i watched your back as you finally let go and boarded your bus heading somewhere away from me heading towards the reality leaving for a while the magic that was us fun spontaneous real our days together made me realize that to feel immense love towards someone and to receive the same amount of love from that person isn t impossible to be understood to be heard we all live for this meeting you is one of the few exceptions of the cruelties in my world it must be the universe s way of telling me that it s time i stop living on my own when the bus is out of sight i breathed in and tried to brush away the lump in my throat thanks for visiting my love i had the best summer with you truly worth remembering for the rest of my life posted in journals tagged parting summer solitude and happiness march 23 2022 march 24 2022 ivy leave a comment what do you suppose we should do she asked the question out of nowhere eyes looking for answers at the slightly fire tinted sea the sun is not in sight not the same view you usually see on instagram posts showing sunsets at the beach nevertheless it s beautiful the sun is definitely somewhere near as the orange hue is visibly scattered on the horizon what do you mean her boyfriend answered adjusting the way he sat so that he can see her face clearly you said your ideal life is to live in a rented house a job in the city you love the most miles away from here alone ahh that he turned his gaze to the sea she rarely sees him take a look really look at her for long she doesn t understand this perhaps because she s ugly as other people have said but she knows he loves her he just doesn t stare at her that along with the criticism she got doesn t bother her that much though as there are actually times when she looks in the mirror and thinks she s pretty fuck them she says every time the thought crosses her mind yeah sometimes i catch you staring at the window blankly i m guessing you re thinking of the life you ve always wanted to be alone as if i wasn t in the room as if i am not part of the future she opened up i honestly think about that more times than i m willing to admit i knew it she exclaimed was i that easy to read he asked curiously i am the eye in the sky looking at you i can read your mind she replied with some giggles escaping her mouth as if what they were talking about wasn t serious enough he recog...