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ame show for several decades the new show would infringe upon their implied copyright to the concept there s nothing wrong ethically with what murdoch is doing said an attorney for the plaintiffs he s just about 50 years too late the filing also states that if the show were to go on it should be made subject to campaign finance laws however rupert murdoch s spokesman said nothing in the new campaign finance reform legislation explicitly prohibits a wealthy australian born american guy from paying for a presidential campaign with money from coca cola mcdonald s and major car manufacturers posted by scott at 9 20 2002 10 49 00 am bush s popularity skyrockets in germany 2002 09 20 a day after reports that german justice minister herta daubler gmelin compared george bush s rhetoric toward iraq to a tactic hitler used the u s president s popularity has skyrocketed in germany overnight polls showed bush s german popularity rating gaining 45 points bush wants to divert attention from his domestic problems the german cabinet member said according to regional newspaper schwabisches tagblatt it s a classic tactic it s one that hitler also used daubler gmelin said she was encouraged that her praise of bush had elicited such a rapid and positive response hitler was the most wise beloved and popular leader the german people have ever known she said bush is a genius for using one of his tactics like i said it s a classic and the german people are embracing him for it if only bush were a german citizen i m sure he would quickly become chancellor white house spokesman ari fleischer said president bush spent several hours yesterday preparing for an upcoming news conference on the topic much of that time was spent trying to pronounce herta daubler gmelin and schwabisches tagblatt fleischer said posted by scott at 9 20 2002 07 05 00 am 9 19 2002 steve case stays aol to merge with hershey 2002 09 19 after surviving attempts to dethrone him as ceo steve case announced today that aol time warner will merge with hershey foods the 12 billion deal will create the world s biggest digital chocolate media enterprise an ebullient case told reporters we ll double the market value of aol he said it s a merger of equals and it s really all about synergy and content hershey brings strong brand recognition to our incredible distribution system case said he anticipated no layoffs as a result of the merger because our two businesses are totally unrelated you re going to start seeing co branding almost immediately case said aol cds will be packaged with hershey bars of course we ll have to make the cds smaller or the candy bars bigger but that s just details tony soprano from hbo will switch from cigars to reese s peanut butter cups cnn s connie chung will begin offering kisses to her interview subjects and wolf blitzer will go by the nickname jolly rancher the company to be known as america hershey on line enterprises is testing several slogans including hershey the great american online chocolate bar hershey recently turned down offers from wrigley and nestle to buy the pennsylvania based candy maker as it turns out its lawyers were conducting intense negotiations with aol time warner the aol merger with time warner about two years ago exceeded all expectations proving to be a windfall for the firm s accountants and attorneys ted turner informed of the merger by phone wept uncontrollably posted by scott at 9 19 2002 04 15 00 pm u n orders hide and seek game in iraq 2002 09 19 the united nations security council today approved a resolution calling for iraq to play hide and seek with u n weapons inspectors first our weapons inspectors will cover their eyes said secretary general koffi anan then they will begin counting one mississippi two mississippi and so on when they get to six billion mississippi they will formally declare ready or not here we come and in they go to see how many weapons of mass destruction they can find a motion to make the inspectors count to infinity plus infinity was narrowly defeated by the council posted by scott at 9 19 2002 10 44 00 am 9 18 2002 smiley emoticon at 20 tired of faking it smiley top left at a recent family gathering 2002 09 18 smiley emoticon is marking his 20th birthday in font bleu treatment center in taipo polynesia the perpetually grinning aggregation of punctuation checked himself in last week after gossip columnists reported he was on a bender chain smoking and binge drinking although mr emoticon s agent said the comedian s assistant was just taking a much deserved six month hiatus those closest to him including backspace key and quotation mark say smiley is just tired of faking it he s spent the better part of 20 years trying to make stupid jokes look funny said mr mark how would you feel if you had to listen to people groaning all day and he was never recognized for his peace mission of trying to take the edge off of some really cruel remarks he was overworked and practically lame from being hackneyed backspace key said smiley finally hit bottom just last week the other night he says to me backspace take me outa here come on one two three and i m gone mr key said he refused smiley s pleading request and called the treatment center in taipo posted by scott at 9 18 2002 07 38 00 pm ny times begins campaign to plug dignity gap 2002 09 18 the publisher of the new york times announced a new charitable venture today called plug the dignity gap the campaign sparked by a recent thomas friedman column will eliminate islamic terrorism by providing young angry muslims with all the trappings of western culture in a full page advertisement times publisher arthur ochs sulzberger jr wrote we re going tap the largesse of a great demographic slice of america our readers and provide these young religious men with fine homes sophisticated entertainment devices fast cars inspiring liquors and mellow cigars we will plug the dignity gap and thus put an end to terrorism in our times we know that radical islam is not the problem said sulzberger although every nation ruled by it is an incredible sewer of human despair and a well spring of visceral anger the real problem is that we americans have all the good toys even though we cling to the admittedly inferior judeo christian worldview friedman acknowledged in his column that closing the dignity gap could be a decades long project doomed to failure but sulzberger added that s never stopped us from advocating an entitlement program before money can t buy you love but it can purchase a whole pile of dignity posted by scott at 9 18 2002 02 11 00 pm sick nazi collaborator excused from french prison 2002 09 18 a nazi collaborator who shipped 1 560 jews to auschwitz during world war ii was released from prison today after presenting a note from his mother that he was not feeling well maurice is a bit under the weather the note read please send him home from prison so i can take care of him properly the note scrawled in a shakey hand was signed madame papon apparently the mother of the 92 year old inmate french authorities agreed it was cruel to detain a sick man especially when his mamma is so worried about him papon had successfully avoided trial for crimes against humanity for 58 years while serving in french government jobs he is now resting comfortably in his family villa in the town of gretz armainvilliers east of paris posted by scott at 9 18 2002 12 46 00 pm inspectors allowed in without conditioner 2002 09 18 iraqi minister of foreign affairs naji sabri today attempted to clear up confusion about his nation s offer to re admit u n weapons inspectors we didn t mean without conditions sabri said we meant to say we would allow the return of weapons inspectors without conditioner in iraqi culture shampooing is appropriate but conditioning is taboo weapons inspectors with full silky hair would be an affront to our indigenous people the bush administration responded by warning that saddam hussein has a record of deceiving delaying and detangling posted by scott at 9 18 2002 11 51 00 am 9 17 2002 iraqi congress threatens to overrule hussein 2002 09 17 the iraqi house majority leader lashed out at saddam hussein today for his hasty decision to allow u n weapons inspectors to return to the republic of iraq we re concerned that president hussein may be fooled by all the peaceful talk coming out of the u n said an aide to the majority leader we have the votes to override hussein s action and in any case it certainly wouldn t stand up in a court challenge debate on the inspection measure had dragged on for weeks in the iraqi congress before president hussein issued an executive order re admitting the u n teams we in the majority party don t want to make this a political football the unnamed aide said but president hussein should be well aware of the implications of his actions with elections just around the corner polling data in the republic is running 3 to 2 against allowing inspectors despite his popularity sources said hussein knows better than to swim against the tide of public opinion the congress represents the people of the republic of iraq said the aide and it must enact the will of the people other congressional sources said they were looking for a way to allow president hussein to save face after this policy gaff we want to show a united front to the world community said one source but make no mistake if he stands firm on this he ll pay a price politically related link letter from iraq to u n posted by scott at 9 17 2002 10 10 00 pm abc reporters have 200 missing ukrainian nukes 2002 09 17 abc news announced today that it has the 200 missing ukrainian nuclear weapons abc reporters around the world are attempting to smuggle the weapons into and out of various countries as part of an upcoming undercover report we were going to tell the state department as soon as we finished shooting shooting the news report that is you know on videotape said an unnamed source at abc we ve been amazed at how easy it is to buy and move these weapons most of our reporters are now smuggling something whether it s nukes crack cocaine or chinese bootleg jackie chan dvds people love these undercover stories posted by scott at 9 17 2002 11 54 00 am 9 16 2002 tribune reporters dig for story on bob greene 2002 09 16 jim kirk and monica davey reporters for the chicago tribune are trying to play down talk of a pulitzer prize for their investigative piece on the dismissal of chicago tribune columnist bob greene the popular writer resigned under pressure this week after revelations that 10 years ago he had sex with a young woman who was a source for one of his stories reporters kirk and davey earned the admiration of investigative journalists across the country by clipping and pasting a company memo and polishing it into a major 1 500 word expose the story included the following the refusal of tribune editors and executives to comment the failure of bob greene to return the reporters phone calls and emails requesting comment the revelation from greene s own news release that he had committed indiscretions in my life that i am not proud of indiscretions that greene is proud of are not mentioned a reference to editors and publishers having high level meetings and running an internal investigation both of which were so high level nothing more could be said about them unnamed sources on the tribune staff who saw an email from the woman with whom greene had sex these witnesses were referred to as sources familiar with the message and people who saw the email unsuccessful attempts to reach both the chicago office of the fbi and the woman who made the allegations about greene acknowledgement that tribune officials would not name greene s accuser due to tribune policy on investigations of misconduct the following quote from greene s colleague paul galloway it s a terrible shock it s like a kick in the stomach to me he said i m looking forward to talking to him to find out the real story the statement in the tribune seemed to be carefully crafted by lawyers related link carefully crafted fully vetted posted by scott at 9 16 2002 10 41 00 pm hussein asks will these things really work 2002 09 16 saddam hussein has invited united nations weapons experts to come to iraq to examine his nuclear chemical and biological weapons frankly i just want to know if these bombs are going to work said hussein our scientists don t have enough experience and iraqis don t exactly have a reputation for craftsmanship who better to judge whether these armaments are functional than the best weapons inspectors in the world hussein went on to express his bewilderment at his extensive collection of deadly agents like vx sarin mustard gas anthrax small pox and even enriched plutonium oy who can keep it all straight he asked i realized a few months ago that if we re going to be world class at deploying this stuff we re going to have to think outside of the box and get some qc people in here the iraqi leader said he would like to see each weapon of mass destruction imprinted with inspected by no 12 just like my fruit of the loom underpants he added posted by scott at 9 16 2002 08 55 00 pm lesbian clinic hires veterinarian to perform a i 2002 09 16 a european fertility clinic for lesbians has hired a veterinarian as chief of artificial insemination a i the way i figure it said hank estrus the new director of a i at the women s new life centre it s just like i m looking at a field full of breeding heifers or brood sows ain t no bulls or boars involved the trick is figuring out when they re in heat posted by scott at 9 16 2002 01 51 00 pm jackson to lead usa quad decennial parade 2002 09 16 jesse jackson today was named grand marshall of the usa quad decennial parade the event which celebrates the 40th anniversary of the founding of the united states of america will be held in selma alabama in 2005 the rev jackson will start the event with a prayer thanking george w bush the ruler of the world for his beneficent sovereignty the prayer will be followed by an hour long speech which the former civil rights leader will deliver entirely in mandarin chinese a much more popular language than english the parade will feature the surviving bunch of white men who wrote and passed the voting rights act of 1965 organizers predict the parade will draw a crowd rivalling the 600 people who packed a 15 000 seat auditorium for jackson s recent speech at michigan state university posted by scott at 9 16 2002 11 28 00 am black caucus bolsters gore s hope for 04 run 2002 09 16 two members of the congressional black caucus who shouted amen during al gore s speech before the group saturday night have bolstered the former presidential candidate s hopes for another run at the white house i m not sure whether they were amen ing my economic ideas or my self deprecating humor said gore but there were clearly some amens out there members of the congressional black caucus i...