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ts for 1 minute but it s been 6 minutes i start reading emails and articles on my phone when i m not running the stop watch app to time my contractions to distract me but there s no distracting during the contractions not even 20 minutes later i am sitting on the edge of my bed because i can no longer lie down through the contractions so i lie down for 5 minutes sit up and bounce and have a contraction at this point i know i m in labor but i don t want to wake up dh just yet at 3 30 or 3 40 i remember sitting on the edge of my bed bouncing and breathing through a contraction and starting to feel my legs shaking and feeling very nauseous and wanting to throw up i thought i d just drunk too much water on an empty stomach maybe i should take another sip that didn t help either so i laid back down i later realized that s what people call transition i should really have been at a hospital for that that s neither here nor there now however around 4 am i started moaning pretty loud i guess because dh came walking in and asked if i wanted to go to the hospital i don t know i just called an hour ago and the nurse told me it was up to me but i should probably just lie back down because i d have to walk the halls of the hospital and i really don t want to do that so maybe i should wait a few more minutes but you seem to be in a lot of pain i am they really hurt and i can t even talk or walk through them i have to pause have the contraction and then go back to walking well maybe we should go i have 1 more really hard painful contraction and i subsequently agree it s now 4 20 am dh says he s going to pop downstairs take the camera off the charger and let fely know that we re heading to the hospital i call my friend teresa the triage nurse and tell her i m now coming and she can t tell me otherwise dh is messing around with something on the camera and i tell him that we need to go so i ll just drive myself to the hospital crazy town had officially set in he told me that would not be the case and he s coming but he needed to tell fely i told him to call her from the car and i would be in the car we left and he started to speedily back down the driveway while i was trying to adjust the seat it was too far forward as he flew down the driveway the seat flew all the way back and i was completely flat on my back and screaming that it hurt too much and went too far back owwww it s funny now but it wasn t funny then he drove the hospital like a possessed nyc taxi driver i couldn t believe he even stopped at the 1 red light we hit i wasn t paying very good attention because i told him to go straight where he should have turned i wasn t in a great frame of mind at this point i was in serious pain we pulled up to the circle outside the maternity ward at 4 55 he called someone to let them know we were there the doors were locked because apparently they forgot i had called 15 minutes before to let them know we were coming someone came and let us in and i had to stop on the way back to the maternity unit to have a contraction i walked into the unit and asked for my epidural we got to the registration desk don t worry teresa was still on duty and met us there and they were still printing some stuff out for my bracelet and i had to turn away and have another contraction and they told me that needed to check me before they could order an epidural please can you just order it now i know i ll be far enough along to have it and the anesthesiologist should be there once you ve checked me if you order it now after what seemed like forever they handed me my arm bracelet and wouldn t you know it had the wrong doctor s name on it seriously i said no that s not my doctor as if it mattered at that point but they still needed to re do it and 2 minutes later i had a new correct armband teresa told me to follow her down the hall to a room there they would check me i stopped along the way to have a contraction and she proceeded to tell me to take your time and just breathe in the most annoyingly calm soothing voice i d ever heard got into the room and she handed me a gown to change into some socks to put on and a urine sample cup seriously a sample well yes they need a sample i d never had to do that before i said teresa if i sit down on that toilet there s a high probability that i will not get off of it too much pain well please just go ahead and try i had just gone to the bathroom at home so i m not sure there was anything there but i sat and truly worried that baby would come out in the toilet somehow i managed to get up i just needed to get on the hospital bed so they could check me and i could get my epidural i flopped myself on the bed in a not very upright position assuming i wouldn t be there for long teresa finally checked me she looked at tyler who was standing on my right at this point and said well she s at a 9 and her sac is bulging she looked at the other nurse and said go get the dr she s in the or said the other nurse get her out of the or ummmmm my epidural i don t think we re going to have time for that i died right there how in the world did it get to this i called you 2 hours ago this could have all been very easily avoided but no now i was in a bit of panic mode and in so much pain i could not be calmed as they prepped the room almost instantaneously for a birth it happened so fast yet it seemed so so slow and long at the time they propped me up on the bed a little bit got my legs in the stirrups i had a few more contractions at one point one of the nurses tried to get the fetal monitor under my back to no avail it hurt too much to try to lift my back up the ceiling opened and the light came on and down in hindsight it was probably completely apropos to something straight out of the hunger games dr brumfiel came in the room threw her gown and gloves on i was screaming at this point teresa told me to open my eyes and look at her seriously this woman i believe i told dh all sorts of things he didn t want to hear he claims i swore which i really didn t all i said was holy he that s not that bad she poked the bulging sac and told me to push with the next contraction which i did and i promptly told them to get her out sweet mother of ring of fire that hurt they said she was so close and i was doing so well and she had hair thank you all details i did not need at that moment go ahead and push one more time with your next contraction whitney said the good doctor it hurts so bad never mind just push now and she was out they put her on my chest she started to cry a soft little cry and all i could sob was you stinker it was 5 05 am 15 minutes from door to delivery not a record i m particularly proud of but we made it and she was so cute and smelled so so good and had the smallest little head it sure didn t feel that way but thank the heavens and she was tiny 6 lbs 15 oz 20 3 4 inches long and then dh went to go move the car out of the circle and grab the real camera he d left in the car in the mad dash to get inside i joined a club i had thought i might want to join but am not really so sure why i wanted to after all natural birth is brutal we sure love our baby r though she s growing up way too fast more on her later posted by whitney at 11 05 pm 2 comments back in the saddle i ve let too much time pass can t believe it s been almost a year where i think i should write something down or record something and i always think i ll do it later later is now and i need this for myself more than anyone else i m not going to try to play catch up that s too overwhelming well except for the story of baby r s birth here s to moving forward cheers posted by whitney at 9 36 pm no comments thursday june 6 2013 gratitude for dinner last night mr a had a baseball game that went until 6 30 or 6 45 dh had scouts that he ran right off to and so the kids and i went home and i decided we were having cereal for dinner cereal for dinner we can t do that mom oh yes we can or oatmeal as baby s and miss m decided to have or as miss s likes to call it ewt meaw very cute and then an hour or so later here was mr a s bedtime prayer i m thankful that we could have cereal for dinner see i m not such a bad mom after all posted by whitney at 1 35 pm no comments wednesday may 29 2013 5 alive happy birthday miss m as i look at pictures it seems my kids are always happy generally speaking they are miss m was a very happy baby looking back at pictures of her tonight on the eve of her birthday makes me appreciate and miss that little one all at the same time happiest 4 month old around cheeky 1 yr old picture perfect 2 yr old i still don t know how we got her to sit still for this she was always moving sassy 3 yr old love those curls classy 4 yr old ready to be 5 yr old right before she got tubes in her ears a few weeks ago more to come tomorrow i need to get some sleep before the festivities begin she s got all 3 meals planned out and can hardly wait love her energy and spunk she s an awesome big sis to baby s and almost as annoying as a perfect little sis can be to her big brother posted by whitney at 10 48 pm no comments saturday may 25 2013 blessed 1 all kids like to ask questions that you never know are coming miss m popped a good one yesterday morning as dh was hopping in the shower dad why did you choose to have a pe is dh why did i choose to oh i didn t choose to heavenly father blessed me with one it had the 2 of us in stitches as she seemed appeased with the answer and walked off to get ready for the day give my dh props for quick thinking on his feet i was impressed 2 miss m also has had to spend some time at the er and surgery center as of late after 6 ear infections this year she was blessed with tubes in her ears and her adenoids taken out just before her tubes went in she had a scary infection in the mastoid bone in her ear that needed some er antibiotics her sister baby s loved to tell everyone that miss m had to go to the hos table i love 2 1 2 yr olds mine speaks really well most of the time so it s fun to hear her slip up at times even though her almost 5 yr old sister still calls it pasghetti in addition miss m still struggles w her left foot and her right foot shoes while baby s almost never gets them wrong little girls are hilarious posted by whitney at 9 18 pm no comments wednesday april 24 2013 and the first shall be last and the last shall be first i m terribly off any semblance of a blogging routine at this point so i ll sprinkle in bits and pieces but i ll start with where we are now 1 we lovingly call her penelope or finley as in the end she ll be here the end of august sometime just in time to hang with her brother and sisters and then send them all off to school 2 let me tell you how mr a took the news 3 we have tried to psych him up now for all of the awesome activities he ll get to do with his dear dad his best buddy too dh even said to me the friday before we found out what we were having if mr a is the only son i have i ll be ok with that he s everything i could have wanted in a son and more amen to that we won the son lottery and love our mr a dearly tonight he played his baseball game with his dad as his 3rd base coach love these 2 boys of mine the pep talk eyes on the prize and so the last son was the first and the first son ended up being the last one we love him for it posted by whitney at 10 35 pm 1 comment wednesday september 5 2012 firsts today was mr a s first day of first grade at a new school his first time spending all day at school first time waiting at the bus stop with other kids first time eating lunch at school and having recess 3 times first time to try catching the right bus at the end of school i m exhausted just thinking about it for him but you know what he bounded down off that bus at 3 58 with a big grin on his little face and a huge hug for his mama he handled it all just fine why was i such a wreck i thought about him all day long couldn t stop would someone sit by him on the bus who would he sit next to at lunch would he remember where his classroom was would he remember where the bathroom was would he make it there in time would he eat enough of his lunch to sustain him for the whole day i forgot to remind him what color code his bus was how would he find the right one to ride home would he have anyone to play with at recess would he sit next to someone nice in class and not too chatty would he be punished for not having all of his school supplies the first day come on i forgot the 2 red pencils would his teacher remember his name i was a wreck he was just fine i fed him 4 chocolate chip cookies when he got home and made him tell me all about his day did he have to write about his summer did he have to read for his teacher did he make any new friends did he remember where the classroom was did anyone yell at him for not having his school supplies did he like his lunch did he find the note his mom left him yes and he brought it home with him and didn t want me to throw it away how cute is that did he eat all of his lunch did he have enough time to eat lunch who did he play with at recess did he find the bathroom etc etc etc i d be annoyed if i were him too but seriously the chocolate chip cookies did the trick he just kept talking and talking and talking and he was starving so here s my not so little 1st grader all grown up missing some teeth and looking so stinking handsome bring on 1st grade i say but don t let my little boy grow up anymore he s done for now and so am i 1 i ve got no teeth happiest guy around best buddies the bus stop walking posse posted by whitney at 9 27 pm 1 comment tuesday september 4 2012 it s only hair right at least that s what i m trying to tell myself anyway after bawling my eyes out for the better part of an hour i ve decided that miss m was merely trying to stick it to her baby sister for truly having better hair than her here s a shot taken literally the day before the massacre occurred big shoes to fill girls the next afternoon after they d both woken up from their naps miss m asked if she could cut paper and eat popsicles outside so fely kindly granted her wishes and took all of her things outside we ve had the conversation numerous times about what to cut etc but when in the moment you know you just have to be like aunt megan i guess here s what happened in mere minutes seriously doesn t that make you want to cry and the next day we marched everyone down to the hair dresser and ordered transformations for all some much more drastic than others the stylist she chopped the front of her own hair so she needed a big cut too somebody got some sass with her new do cheeese trying to get all 3 smiling and looking next to impossible posted by whitney at 11 05 pm 1 comment wednesday august 1 2012 just a run in the park i ve had a great 4 days in nyc with some of my dear friends from philadelphia we engaged in all sorts of must do activities as well as spent tons of time eating laughing and catchin...