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e for the most part it works but it s not a long term solution management want to put more railings in i personally think it ll make the place look like fort knox i suggested running small wires down the inside of the railings which are subtle and covert but around which the jumpers have to curl their hands to get a grip on the railinsg we then electrify those wires it s cheap and legal and we can set the voltage so we don t have to hurt them merely make them feel quite uncomfortable and dissuade them from jumping for some reason management are sticking with the railings they also ignored my request for a water cannon to clear out the beer garden of stragglers who take the piss in leaving so saturday night i m just going to rig up the hose they use to wash the floors after closing and attach a nozzle to it hey it s hot at the moment the patrons should be grateful and let s face it many of them need a wash posted by bow street runner at 1 24 am 0 comments saturday december 08 2007 why i really should have known better caring doesn t pay truly it doesn t we had a fight inside the bar tonight and no sooner had we separated the two warring parties literally entwined in a lover s embrace with each other than we had another idiot running in from nowhere and starting to punch one of the people we d just separated luckily there were enough of us to bundle everyone out our flying kickboxer was putting up a bit of a struggle and i thought it possible that the guy he had punched would want to press charges so i tried to handcuff flying kickboxer to prevent the prosecution of the case being hindered by his disappearance to ascertain his details to prevent him causing further injury to other people and to prevent injury to himself and because it looks better and is safer than having two or three door staff jumping on him and dragging him out these are of course all pretexts i can t just cuff someone willy nilly and theoretically not for a standard physical removal the head doorman had one arm of flying kickboxer who was putting up a bit of a struggle so the handcuff was inadvertendly and unintentionally used as leverage and damn effective leverage might i say when you have thick steel nickel grating against a particularly sensitive part of the wrist you do as you re told he went out followed by another who was being dragged out by the legs and another who went out semi upright but since for some a night out is never complete without a good old fashioned punch up they started on each other in the street some random bitch and her man became involved and the fight continued on the other side of the street the woman was incredibly angry and was resisting all physical and verbal efforts to hold her back to get at one of the party from the fight inside synapses in my brain misfired i wasn t thinking straight and did not consider my own personal safety i went against years of training and confrontational experience and actually gave a damn that this hysterical woman could actually cause a fair bit of damage to the object upon which she had fixated her rage no idea why i did this normally i really couldn t care less beyond my limited legal obligation of duty of care which is conveniently hazy whether people i don t know live die or suffer on the street can t explain or justify this lapse in thought or judgement but i know i ll have this apathy strongly reinforced into the hereafter so i went to the other side of the road and tried to separate the parties the woman started pushing shoving and scratching me then she made a full blown lunge at the guy positioned behind me who was involved in the bar fight i spun round and bear hugged her as she went past dragging her off her trajectory next i felt an arm around my neck trying to choke me i thought it was a colleague who had mistaken me for a patron after all i was wearing a dark jacket and trousers i shouted i was security and heard an unfamiliar voice attached to the arm i let go of the woman and the guy let go of me looking around i saw there were no colleagues i d involved myself in something i should not have done and that could have ended with more serious consequences for me initially i wanted to press charges and insisted on doing so police asked me to view cctv if avaialble there wasn t the manager pointed out the female involved against whom i also wanted charges laid was a good customer i told him i didn t give a damn if she spent a million dollars a night in there police said it would be unlikely to go anywhere which i knew but still wanted to see how far i could go with it in the end i dropped it had there been cctv i would have pressed ahead there s a school of thought that door staff shouldn t press charges when assaulted minor or not i think that s an incredibly outdated and naive view by people who should know better we are not paid to be assaulted we are not paid to be punching bags we are paid to monitor and supervise patron access and behaviour in the venue and intervene in situations as required nowhere in our job description does it say that sustaining injury without recourse is a necessary requirement therefore those who assault me in the course of my duty without provocation or justification should be dealt with accordingly so the things i learnt from this encounter 1 never leave the door no matter what unless i know one of the people involved i will not intervene 2 don t care not your problem do your minimum legal obligation and that s it 3 check your surroundings a potent refresher of something drilled into me for ages that lapsed due to inactivity so if you re involved in any sort of incident on the street and i m on the door and i don t know you stiff shit if it s not immediately outside the door it s not my problem i won t get involved i come first sorry but that s the way it is posted by bow street runner at 10 19 am 0 comments saturday november 10 2007 saturday night shite some vignettes from a saturday night that drained me of energy and enthusiasm for the entire nightclub industry and the collateral damage to the surrounding area it causes 1 i m stood guarding an exit door at the club and see an incredibly overt drug deal occur by which a young man we shall describe as ecstatic passed three little tabs to a nearly ecstatic man in exchange for about 50 presumably these tabs were to help the second guy transced to not quite religious ecstacy it occurred in full of view of about 10 other people including myself since i m still in police mode at times my first instinct was to jump on the dealer cuff him and turn him over to the boys in blue however the done thing is to have a quiet word with the dealer advise them to deal off premises and leave it at that this doesn t stand in my book as far as i m concerned it s condoning the behaviour whether it occurs on premises of off premises still i tried having a word with the dealer and this was the result dude it s like cool ok i m friends with the boys here so it s all good i should hasten to point out that for some wannabes the boys refers to whoever is listed on the licence plaque at the top of the main entry to the premises as the manager and whichever security staff the person in question is able to see the names of on their security tags in what passes for their minds remembering a couple of names associated with the venue is tantamount to knowing or being friends with said people unfortunately everybody name drops everybody else so the entire concept loses value and any argument centred around name dropping becomes vacuous by default but in their world where it counts to them they are entitled to unlimited perks drink discounts and preferential treatment by security i pointed out this folly in slightly more abrupt terms and was advised to chill out it s all good i refrained from throwing him through the nearest window but it was challenging 2 a pilled up female insisting i dance with her and not taking no for an answer not wishing to hurt her feelings i challenged her to stay quiet and still for 60 full seconds then i would dance with her owing to the substance she was on and the chemical imbalance this was creating in her brain this was physically impossible for her somehow she got the message and stumbled off 3 finishing my shift i walked along a street to get a taxi home easier said than done one group of three males were sat on the sidewalk street drinking an unmarked police car pulled up and in a vain attempt to conceal the crime they were caught red handed committing that of street drinking one of them launched the bottle behind them where it smashed into a wall and beer spilt onto the pavement boy genius earnt himself two fines one for street drinking and the second for criminal damage since it would cost the council money to clean the pavement 4 on the same street about 50 metres up were three incredibly attractive stunning and intelligent females lying spreadeagled on the pavement i do of course pepper the previous sentence with light sprinklings of sarcasm or coat it depending on your point of view a taxi pulled up because a male unconnected with their party had flagged it down one of the girls exhibiting motor skills far beyond her level of intoxication got up and staggered over to the taxi she demanded that she and her three equally lovely friends be given a lift to wherever they wanted to go when the taxi driver pointed out the obvious that they were drunk and lying on the pavement thus shooting to the top of the cabbie s list of likely problem passengers she shot back with you re leaving three girls on the side of the street that s disgusting you re a fucking arsehole in my younger days my blood would have boiled and i d have given her a piece of my mind now i ve been overexposed to such drunken displays of egotism deluded logic and utter lack of personal responsibility that i am used to it and am emotionally numb instead the cabbie s new fare answered for me if you didn t get yourselves so drunk act like silly bitches and weren t so rude you d probably be home by now the problem comes back to you cos you can t handle your piss seeya what he said posted by bow street runner at 10 14 am 0 comments sunday november 04 2007 melbourne cup 2007 here we go again remember melbourne cup last year here we go again this time i m at the main racecourse from which the steady stream of drunks who flooded the casino and caused all kinds of dramas last year will come i m on fence jumper duty which involves patrolling a sector to deter and prevent people from effecting entry into the racecourse and physically ejecting those who do although i m hoping to instead be posted on a watchtower of sorts where i can call up other people to do the running around instead the pay is fantastic far better than i was on or would be on at the casino even with penalty rates and i hope that they ll require people to stay on to help clean out the remaining stragglers after the mass exodus to the casino and beyond i could certainly use the money then i ll meet up with some people for beers in one of the quieter pubs and wrap up the day should be fun on other fronts my venues have settled down and i m regularly working the same two each week there s a great team on each the clientele are pretty decent and we don t get much trouble and since my day job means i no longer need to work 5 6 nights a week for the money so i can enjoy the work more now and won t risk burnout stay tuned for a full write up of one of australia most popular sporting events from an insider s perspective posted by bow street runner at 4 04 pm 0 comments saturday august 25 2007 proving manhood proving idiocy and insecurity why i don t like changing venues our company picked up a new venue and last night was the first night on it i was pulled of my normal favourite wine bar for it but it helped the boss and i didn t mind really the place is generally pretty trendy and the majority of the girls who attend are absolute stunners yet dress respectably there were also far more girls than guys in the place always a good sign that there probably won t be much trouble and there wasn t just one fight and a couple of removals in one i was wearing my black leather gloves as i d just come in from the door to assist and i was freezing outside some know it all who said he worked as a glassie at a dodgy pub said the bouncers at my club only wear gloves when they re going to fuck someone up this is my brother you re going to remove so if you re going to fuck him up i m ready to party i communicated that this wasn t a dodgy pub i wasn t going to fuck anyone up and to prove it i took the gloves off he seemed almost disappointed and revved himself up further with some fighting talk i didn t bother responding to whilst this was going on his brother very drunk was making his way to the back door which really just opens onto the same street as the front door just a bit further down the road glassie was excited that we were taking him out the back because to him it proved that we were going to rough his brother up and thus give him a chance to prove how much of a man he was by valiantly taking us all on classic example of confirmation bias selecting evidence to prove your own view in spite of the big picture and what s actually going on proving the opposite to very simply state the psychological phenomenon we got out the door and glassie said right we re out the back let s go puzzled i pointed out we were on the same street as the front door with regular police patrols going up and down so now what asked glassie that s it end of incident i m going back on the door replied i glassie seemed disheartened no fighting no proving of manhood no winding up the bouncer to provoke him into a fight can t please everyone i suppose would rather go home in one piece than make his day by sinking to his level ah well back to the wine bar next week suits me fine i get on with the regular patrons and we have no trouble if there s any minor issues then management sort it out it s strange but the atmosphere there is not conducive to trouble even if troublemakers are in there one night we had a young bloke high on speed go crazy in the small toilet and kick the hand dryer off its mounting the boss told him he had to leave after a few seconds of blank starting partly due to the drugs he left without incident had it been anywhere else i m pretty sure it would have kicked off might have been how the boss spoke to him or the very convivial atmosphere of the place but one gets the impression that trying to prove manhood in a place like the wine bar would not garner any support or encouragement from the patronage to fuel the behaviour and rightly so posted by bow street runner at 7 11 pm 1 comments sunday august 19 2007 drunk on duty not me i hasten to add one of the people i share d the roster with has been removed from duty due to numerous occasions in which they ve turned up smashed i know this is a cruisy ...