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Text of the page (random words):
t i think this is what they call baggage although i d always pictured it as something carried on my back it s more accurate to say it s carried on my head like a potted weeds i water with worry or anxious thought the spindly growths become top heavy it s time to weed or at least begin a good pruning thoughts seem to give rise to other thought but what if i got myself a good batch of weed killer and doused the roots and i think i ve figured out a way to do just that it s deceptively simple as all effective inquiries seem to be here s how it goes in looking at thought itself i can see that there s no way to predict them no way of telling what sort will show up next but they re amazingly varied and lots of times the content is just plain ridiculous so how do i know which to choose as valid or real by what criteria is that choice made and do i even have control over which of them seem to carry more weight than the others when looking closely it s evident that the worrisome ones are just a repetitive pattern they seem to take on weight simply because they pop up often a feeling of there must be something to this thought comes up even when the contents never materialize and most of the time maybe more than 99 of the time they never materialize statistically it s ridiculous to fret if i look even closer i can see that thoughts are very mysterious and have no business causing anyone issue they come from nowhere no material substance they exist nowhere can t pick them up or collect them they disappear into nothing can t even find them once they re gone in what world does something non material something that has no shape size color or texture become threatening or cause harm this makes little sense what if i gave thoughts the weight they deserve none i have to admit that the last thing that would help with this inquiry is to think about it rather than stopping thought which is what a lot of spiritual folks tend to try to do it seems to me it s much better to just see through it freedom from believing in ghosts we call thoughts right now that makes sense posted by delma at 9 16 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels beliefs inquiry thought friday november 13 2015 the myth of separation you are not alone if my beliefs truly had any substance the world would long ago have become overpopulated with fairies leprechauns and regular disasters from imagined house fires accidents and an assortment of personal embarrassments that s what i know about beliefs but i ll take a closer look at this particular inquiry i have a body in looking for what has a body or owns one i ve admitted in previous posts that there s really nothing there as owner the owner is an assumption that just doesn t stand up to examination you can read about that inquiry here and in one simple question to wake up here i need to compete normally i d say that i m not a competitive person but selves are always trying to measure up against other selves it seems to be a very good way to solidify a self actually because there s a subject object kind of dynamic going on i can see that without an other who is different whether i m being snarky and making comments about their being worse or better there s really no me here they cancel each other out very nicely i am not good enough this is the same as i need to compete but dressed in drag it s still a comparison born of creating an other is there actually an other it doesn t seem so it s happening only in my mind because there s nothing in reality that says that my body belongs to something that exists here in any essential way so how could something other over there exist separately mysterious i have to try harder oh this is a good one i can see that at this point we have a cascade of beliefs which started with the very first fallacy that there is something here that has a body owns a body that there s a little delma in the head steering delma s mind and body talk about redundant so what exactly would have to try harder i can t find anything these inquiries always leave me mysteriously empty of self consciousness and the heavy burden of trying to be something or someone special posted by delma at 11 16 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels beliefs concepts no self spiritual enlightenment sunday november 1 2015 a really short tale about the internet i ve been marveling about the fact that as i read messages from my online friends they re not there at all they re off hiking golfing washing dishes fighting with their significant others or maybe even at the pool it s the future and the past at once we are living in a virtual reality with different time zones that aren t measured by a clock but by the lag in online communication even when we re simultaneously on line we often exist in different time zones so what time is it on the internet what s more on any given day when i engage in online conversations what i m reacting to are actually just squiggles made of dots on a computer screen this is another oddity especially when i find that there s someone on the internet who is just plain wrong and needs to be corrected perhaps you know the type all i ve done when that happens is to interpret the pixels get all riled up about them and then spend time crafting more squiggles that i post up on my screen i fuss with the juxtaposition of these lines and curves and set them in ways i believe make me seem smarter than they are squiggle wars very strange what exactly am i reacting to posted by delma at 8 10 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest thursday october 15 2015 when there s no escape look for the escapee artwork by ingrid lill this simple little drawing holds the key to breaking through some points of inquiry i ve been trying to get at for a while only i didn t realize i d been trying it s funny how when you need something and i don t mean material things i mean life lessons it comes right to your doorstep in this case it came to my computer screen in the form of ingrid s next doodle in her facebook doodle stream just this morning rather than try to stop my habit of negative thinking i sat down with it like a lot of people a generalized sense of anxiety about a nebulously uneasy expectation can sneak up on me this usually happens in the middle of the night and kicks off with one of those dreams with a repetitive themes for me the theme is generally centered around an apocalyptic event a tsunami nuclear war something fun like that the secondary theme both within the dream and outside of it seems to be about escape i just want to run as far from the situation as possible and without a glance back i want to escape my own skin but what if there is no need for escape from anything at all what if the situation doesn t apply to anyone and is just a situation happening what if the troublesome habit is the self it has to be because there s actually nothing holding onto it i just checked and there was no sign of an owner of a habit so if i try to find the thing that escapes a physical situation it would be the body moving away from a point in space or time but if it s an escape from the habit of anxiety it s all about getting away from thought what would get away from thought posted by delma at 2 11 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels anxiety habit inquiry no self saturday october 3 2015 gap analysis finding the space between thoughts in trying to wrap my head around this doodle it occurs to me that before using it for inquiry i really should take a hefty dose of my own medicine by reviewing a few earlier investigations because there were two critical turning points in this path one in which i was astounded to find that there s actually no separate me the second one was this moment of realization bringing the two revelations into this scenario sets up an interesting framework for today s investigation why well because if there is truly no separation then what am i supposed to do with the nearly unquestioned assumption that there s a me doing the thinking and inquiring at all here s a head scratcher why should i try to begin this session by thinking that i need to look for separation between my thoughts what i can easily now see is that dragging the me into this is entirely automatic in truth whether there are gaps or not doesn t matter or at least not yet the elephant in the room is this question what is thinking or better yet what is it that is thinking this is the first question until it s examined and answered looking into whether there are gaps just brings up a loop of more thinking but if i clearly see that there is no separate me doing any of it then the gap becomes an unbelievably amazing mystery i mean what is that space is there anything at all there here s a little secret i m finding that it s incredibly quiet and peaceful there especially without me in it the next time i have one of those days in which i just want to choke the incessant voice in the head maybe all i really need to do is to look for the thinker first once this is fully understood the work on exercises in which i spend hours looking for gaps can begin in earnest and with abandon the gaps are thoroughly enjoyed by no one at all posted by delma at 11 58 am 10 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels meditation mindfulness thinking thursday september 24 2015 meditation just practicing for the big game artwork by ingrid lill i ve never been a meditator yes i ve tried it here and there but the exercise has never really amounted to anything life altering because i much prefer inquiry for shattering my paradigm thank you with annoying regularity though this so called inquiry would decide to show up at around 3am at which time it would keep me up for at least an hour or two and that is when i find myself locked into a stare contest with my bedroom ceiling until the idea dawns to start relaxing with a little meditation the ceiling wins every time by the way as you can see i ve got meditation issues the biggest realization i ve gotten out of a cramped leg sitting session is that finding the space between thoughts is nearly impossible at first this i know for sure because as soon as i notice that the space is there it s no longer a space instead a comment appears and the space is quickly filled with the newly discovered thought after a while this cycle of thought birth and death becomes painful to note from what i understand though this is kind of the point what you begin to do is to take a good look at the process rather than paying attention the content it s practice for the big game and yet here s what i think makes a session of meditation on thought a bit more interesting remember my investigation into the nature of now and how staying in it is a crock well in this meditation i ve noticed that thoughts are always in the past what i mean to say is that while i can t catch them midstream i can just sort of take note that they ve happened i ve never caught a thought in the act or at least not in the middle of the act they re awfully wily that way they re never now i do have to be honest and report that on one or two occasions i have indeed noticed the elusive mind state of nothingness this would be cause for celebration if such things weren t frowned upon by the enlightenment police to congratulate yourself for noticing nothing is hypocrisy besides it doesn t lend itself to conversation hey what s up nothing oh yeah been working on that for years instant conversation killer ok back to the exercise as you can see noticing thought ends up being quite a crazy game of hide and seek where the success of achieving the goal is fleeting as well as almost entirely elusive it takes some time to just notice what happens with thought because it s much to easy to begin spiraling into it it s like a cosmic swirling drain that seduces you right into the vortex i need more time with this and that s quite likely the reason it s called practice posted by delma at 8 55 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels inquiry meditation thought monday september 14 2015 waking up a zero sum game the idea of living in a constant state of enlightened bliss is usually trumped by my habit of swimming the murky waters of self improvement call it a desire to become everbetter what s everbetter well it s a drive that has lead me by the nose and straight into a spiritual search after all to be enlightened is the most better one can ever get isn t it yes that s all well and good but this blog is about holding every assumption up to inquiry and so i have to ask myself the most basic question read more posted by delma at 9 16 am no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels anatta enlightenment no self older posts home subscribe to posts atom hi are you also traveling along the path to awakening welcome we have a fun approach to inquiry that s not always spiritual but it is a lot of fun there s no reason why our inquiry shouldn t be approached with a light heart and mind so i ve created a companion blog based on the clever nondual doodles of artist ingrill lill here you ll find notes on an ongoing investigation of reality undertaken in the voice of her delightfully curious fictional character ingen findes ingen s inquiries are written by me delma mcconnell to read my other blog a collection o of pointers to no separate self go to tabula rasa popular posts wake up there are sharks in the think tank one of the most frustrating and freeing inquiries i ve ever come across is the one spawned from this doodle here let s think gap analysis finding the space between thoughts in trying to wrap my head around this doodle it occurs to me that before using it for inquiry i really should take a hefty dose of my hell in a handbasket laptops cars and other spiritual vices artwork by ingrid lill quiz time in this bright big world of good and shiny things there are possessions and then there are thin when there s no escape look for the escapee artwork by ingrid lill this simple little drawing holds the key to breaking through some points of inquiry i ve been trying to get bird i think this doodle is one of my favorites possibly because it involves trees and birds or because the sound of a bird is so distinct and clear mind weeding freedom from thought i think this is what they call baggage although i d always pictured it as something carried on my back it s more a a really short tale about the internet i ve been marveling about the fact that as i read messages from my online friends they re not there at all they re off hikin the myth of separation you are not alone if my beliefs truly had any substance the world would long ago have become overpopulated with fairies leprechauns and regular disasters...